Questions From Readers

What can a Christian do when he or she is unable to find a suitable marriage partner?

Though being devoted Christians, we may still become distressed when we earnestly hope for something that does not materialize. Our feelings are well expressed at Proverbs 13:12, which says: “Expectation postponed is making the heart sick.” This is how some Christians have felt when they have desired to marry but could not find a suitable partner. This is particularly so of those whom the apostle Paul described as “inflamed with passion.”​—1 Corinthians 7:9.

Jehovah put in humans the desire to find a true complement in someone of the opposite sex. Hence, it is not surprising that such emotions well up in many single Christians. (Genesis 2:18) These normal feelings may be accentuated in cultures that put great emphasis on marrying (or marrying by a certain age) or when single Christians are surrounded by happily married couples in the congregation. However, it is not good to allow anxiety to extend over a long period of time. So how can sincere Christians come to grips with the situation without becoming overly disturbed?

It is not easy, and others should not treat this concern as if it were simply an exaggeration or a mere trivial inconvenience. But to a large extent, the ability to cope with or resolve the situation centers on steps the single person can take.

We find a key in this practical Bible principle: “There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.” (Acts 20:35) That was said by the single man Jesus Christ, and he knew of what he spoke. Doing things for others with an unselfish motive is a fine recipe to help any of us to overcome feelings resulting from expectation postponed. What does this mean as far as the single Christian is concerned?

Reach out to do acts of kindness for your own family and for others in the congregation, and increase your activity in the ministry. This advice is not just a way of saying, ‘Keep busy, and you will forget about wanting to get married.’ No. Being occupied in these productive Christian pursuits, you may find that you become ‘settled in your heart, having authority over your own will’ and can use your present circumstances in a beneficial way.​—1 Corinthians 7:37.

Some who have greatly desired to marry have allowed this to become a consuming preoccupation. They have even gone so far as to advertise for mates in newspapers. How much better, though, to put more emphasis on appreciating the benefits that can be derived from the time of singleness.​—Please see the articles “Unmarried but Complete for God’s Service” and “Singleness—​A Rewarding Way of Life” in The Watchtower of November 15, 1987, and “Is Marriage the Only Key to Happiness?” in The Watchtower of May 15, 1992.

Pray to Jehovah for help to persevere in the single state. (Philippians 4:6, 7, 13) Many unmarried Christians have found that by using their time to study and meditate on the Word of God and to attend and share in Christian meetings, they have enjoyed added ‘refreshment for their soul,’ as Jesus promised to those following him. (Matthew 11:28-30) This has helped them to develop spirituality, so that they will be better husbands or wives if they do in time find a suitable mate.

Never forget that Jehovah understands the situation of all single people serving him. He knows that you may not feel that your present circumstances are what you would prefer. Our loving heavenly Father is also aware of what is in your best interests in the long term, both spiritually and emotionally. In turn you can know this with certainty: By patiently waiting on Jehovah and by applying the principles of his Word in daily life, you can be sure that he will satisfy your most important needs in a way that is for your everlasting good.​—Compare Psalm 145:16.