How to Beat a Bully​—Without Using Your Fists

Some bullies want to provoke you just to see how you’ll react. But the Bible gives this wise advice: “Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended.” (Ecclesiastes 7:9) The fact is, ‘returning evil for evil’ could add fuel to the fire and lead to further problems. (Romans 12:17) How, then, can you beat a bully without using your fists?

Take a lighthearted approach. If a taunt is simply an attempt at humor, try to laugh it off instead of getting offended. “Sometimes it’s just a matter of not taking aggressive statements so seriously,” says a boy named Eliu. If a bully sees that his words have little effect, he may stop the harassment.

Use mildness. The Bible says: “An answer, when mild, turns away rage.” (Proverbs 15:1) A kind reply is what the bully least expects, and it can defuse a tense situation. True, keeping coolheaded when under attack takes self-control. But it’s always the better course. Proverbs 29:11 says: “All his spirit is what a stupid one lets out, but he that is wise keeps it calm to the last.” Mildness is a sign of strength. The mild person isn’t easily thrown off balance, while the bully is often insecure, frustrated, or even desperate. For good reason, the Bible states: “He that is slow to anger is better than a mighty man.”​—Proverbs 16:32.

Protect yourself. If a situation seems out of control, you may need to find an ‘escape route.’ Proverbs 17:14 says: “Before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave.” So if violence appears imminent, walk or run away. If escape is impossible, you may need to ward off violence the best way you can.

Report it. Your parents have a right to know about what’s happening. They can also give you practical advice. For example, they might suggest that you speak to a school official, such as a guidance counselor, about the matter. Be assured that parents and school officials can handle the matter discreetly, so as not to get you into further trouble.

The bottom line? A bully can’t win if you refuse to play his game. So don’t get sucked into the flames of his anger. Instead, take control of the situation by employing the foregoing suggestions.

KEY SCRIPTURE

“If possible, as far as it depends upon you, be peaceable with all men.”​—Romans 12:18.

TIP

If you’re the target of bullying, be assertive, but not aggressive. Firmly tell the bully to stop. Calmly leave. If the bullying continues, report it.

DID YOU KNOW . . . ?

Wearing certain gang colors or trademarks can single you out for attack. A former gang member says: “If someone dressed like one of us and he was not one of us, most likely he would be a target. Either he would have to join our gang or get himself hurt.”

ACTION PLAN!

If someone tries to insult or provoke me, I will ․․․․․

To avoid attracting trouble, I will ․․․․․

What I would like to ask my parent(s) about this subject is ․․․․․

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

● How can you project more confidence and poise in your demeanor and thus reduce the likelihood of being bullied?

[Blurb on page 123]

“If you know there’s going to be a fight, you have to mind your own business and go home. Some hang around, and that’s when they get into trouble.”​—Jairo

[Picture on page 124]

Responding in anger to a bully’s taunts is like throwing fuel on a fire