Bullying and Violence

Bullying is “one of the most insidious of school problems,” states Maureen O’Connor in How to Help Your Child Through School. She also notes that “however much misery it is causing to the victims, they are often unwilling to tell an adult about it for fear of being branded a ‘sneak.’”

Regrettably, some teachers view bullying as normal behavior. But many others agree with educator Pete Stephenson, who believes that bullying is a “form of abuse” and maintains that “it is not in the best interests of the bullies to allow it to continue.”

What, then, can you do if your child becomes the victim of a bully? “The first line of defence,” writes O’Connor, “has to be the adult community in which [the victims] live.” Talk matters over with a sympathetic teacher. This will reassure your child that both of you consider such aggressive behavior to be unacceptable. Many schools have adopted a clear policy against bullying, which teachers discuss openly in class.

Natalie became a victim of bullies on account of her religion. “Because I was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, I was insulted, and my things were sometimes torn up,” she relates. To solve the problem, she talked matters over with her parents, who suggested that she speak with her teachers. This she did. “I also took the initiative to telephone the parents of two of my classmates who were bullying me,” she adds. “Because I was able to explain the problem to them, things are much better now. I thus gained the confidence both of my teachers and of most of my classmates.”

At times, parents discover that their child is the bully, not the bullied. They do well, then, to take a close look at what goes on at home. “Children whose aggressive behaviour is more pronounced tend to come from families where the parents don’t solve conflict very adequately,” reports The Times of London, adding: “Violent behaviour is a learnt process.”

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Is Your Child the Victim of a Bully?

EXPERTS advise parents to watch their child for telltale signs. Does he or she show a reluctance to go to school, avoid schoolmates, come home bruised or with torn clothes?

Encourage your child to tell you exactly what happened. This will help you know whether bullying is really the problem. If it is, then talk with a sympathetic teacher.

Help your child cope by suggesting that he stay close to reliable classmates and avoid places and occasions where bullying can recur. A child with a good sense of humor and who knows how to talk his way out of a difficult situation will often manage well.

Avoid being overanxious, and do not encourage retaliation.