Supply to Your Knowledge Self-Control

“Supply . . . to your knowledge self-control.”​—2 PETER 1:5-8.

1. Many human problems are the result of what inability?

DURING a major campaign against drug abuse, young people in the United States were admonished: “Just say no.” How much better things would be if everyone would just say no not only to drug abuse but also to overdrinking, to unwise or immoral life-styles, to dishonest business practices, and to “the desires of the flesh”! (Romans 13:14) Yet, who will claim that saying no is always easy?

2. (a) What Bible examples show that difficulty in saying no is not new? (b) What should these examples encourage us to do?

² Since all imperfect humans have difficulty exercising self-control, we should be interested in learning how to win any personal battle that we face. The Bible tells us about people in the past who strove to serve God but who sometimes had difficulty just saying no. Remember David and his sin of adultery with Bath-sheba. It led to the death of their child conceived in adultery and of Bath-sheba’s husband, both of whom were innocent. (2 Samuel 11:1-27; 12:15-18) Or think of the apostle Paul, who openly confessed: “For the good that I wish I do not do, but the bad that I do not wish is what I practice.” (Romans 7:19) Do you at times feel similar frustration? Paul continued: “I really delight in the law of God according to the man I am within, but I behold in my members another law warring against the law of my mind and leading me captive to sin’s law that is in my members. Miserable man that I am! Who will rescue me from the body undergoing this death?” (Romans 7:22-24) Biblical examples should strengthen our determination never to give up in our struggle to gain greater self-control.

Self-Control, a Lesson to Be Learned

3. Explain why we cannot expect it to be easy to manifest self-control.

³ Self-control, which includes the ability to say no, is mentioned at 2 Peter 1:5-7 along with faith, virtue, knowledge, endurance, godly devotion, brotherly affection, and love. None of these other desirable qualities are wholly inborn. They must be cultivated. To manifest them in significant measure requires determination and effort. So should we expect self-control to be any easier?

4. Why do many feel that they have no problem with self-control, but of what is this an indication?

⁴ True, millions of people may feel that they have no problem with self-control. They go about life doing as they please, knowingly or unknowingly conducting themselves in accord with the dictates of their imperfect flesh and giving little consideration to the consequences​—to themselves or to others. (Jude 10) The lack of ability and willingness to say no is more evident now than ever before. It is an indication that we are indeed living in “the last days” of which Paul spoke when he foretold: “Critical times hard to deal with will be here. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, self-assuming, haughty, blasphemers, . . . without self-control.”​—2 Timothy 3:1-3.

5. Why are Jehovah’s Witnesses interested in the subject of self-control, and what advice is still valid?

⁵ Jehovah’s Witnesses are well aware of the challenge posed by the need for self-control. Like Paul, they are conscious of the struggle between a desire to please God by living according to his standards and the course that their imperfect flesh may urge them to take. For this reason they have long been interested in how to win this tug-of-war. Back in 1916, an early issue of the magazine you are now reading spoke of “the proper course for us to take in getting control of ourselves, our thoughts, our words and our conduct.” It suggested keeping Philippians 4:8 in mind. The divine advice in that text is still valid, although originally offered some 2,000 years ago and probably more difficult to follow now than it was then or in 1916. Nevertheless, Christians strive hard to say no to worldly desires, aware that by so doing, they are saying yes to their Creator.

6. Why do we have no reason to despair while cultivating self-control?

⁶ Self-control is mentioned at Galatians 5:22, 23 as part of “the fruitage of the [holy] spirit.” If we manifest this quality along with “love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, [and] mildness,” we will be benefited greatly. Doing so will prevent us, as Peter explained, from becoming “either inactive or unfruitful” in our service to God. (2 Peter 1:8) But we should not despair or condemn ourselves if we fail to display these qualities as rapidly and as fully as we would like. You have probably observed that in school one student learns more quickly than another. Or on the job one person learns a new task more quickly than fellow workers. Similarly, some learn to manifest Christian qualities more quickly than others. The important thing is to keep cultivating godly qualities in the best way we can. This we can do by taking full advantage of the help Jehovah provides through his Word and congregation. Speed in achieving our goal is less important than determined efforts to keep making progress.

7. What demonstrates that self-control is important?

⁷ Despite being listed last in the qualities produced by the spirit, self-control is in no way less important than the others. Quite on the contrary. We should keep in mind that all “the works of the flesh” could be avoided if we had perfect self-control. Yet, imperfect humans are prone to give in to some form of “the works of the flesh . . . , fornication, uncleanness, loose conduct, idolatry, practice of spiritism, enmities, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, contentions, divisions, sects.” (Galatians 5:19, 20) We must therefore constantly put up a fight, being determined to root out negative tendencies from both heart and mind.

Some Have a Special Struggle

8. What factors make exercising self-control particularly difficult for some?

⁸ Some Christians have a more difficult time exercising self-control than do others. Why? Parental training or past experiences may contribute to the situation. If cultivating and displaying self-control has not seemed to be a problem for us, that is a reason for joy. But we certainly should be compassionate and understanding when dealing with those who have more difficulty in exercising it, even if their lack of self-control causes us some personal discomfort. In view of our own imperfection, who among us has any reason to show a self-righteous attitude?​—Romans 3:23; Ephesians 4:2.

9. What weaknesses do some have, and when will these weaknesses be completely overcome?

⁹ To illustrate: We may know that some fellow Christians who have given up tobacco or the use of “recreational” drugs may at times still have a strong craving for them. Or some find it challenging to limit their consumption of food or alcoholic beverages. Others have trouble guarding their tongue, so they often stumble in word. To deal with such deficiencies requires diligent effort in cultivating self-control. Why? James 3:2 realistically admits: “We all stumble many times. If anyone does not stumble in word, this one is a perfect man, able to bridle also his whole body.” Still others feel a strong urge to gamble. Or they may find it difficult to control their temper. It may take time to learn to cope successfully with these or similar weaknesses. Although we can make significant progress now, wrong desires will be permanently eradicated only when we reach perfection. In the meantime, striving to exercise self-control will help us to avoid falling back into a sinful pattern of life. As the struggle continues, let us assist one another not to give up.​—Acts 14:21, 22.

10. (a) Why is exercising self-control in sexual matters particularly challenging for some? (b) What major change did one brother make? (See box on page 16.)

¹⁰ Another area in which exercising self-control is difficult for some is in the matter of sexuality. Of itself, human sexuality is part of how Jehovah God made us. Yet, some have a particularly difficult time keeping sex in its proper place, in harmony with God’s standards. Their difficulty may be made worse because they have an unusually strong sexual drive. We live in a sex-crazed world that tends to fan the flames of passion in many ways. This can create quite a problem for Christians who want to remain single​—at least for a time—​so as to serve God free of the distractions of marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:32, 33, 37, 38) But in harmony with the Scriptural injunction that “it is better to marry than to be inflamed with passion,” they may decide to marry, which is certainly honorable. At the same time, they are determined to marry “only in the Lord,” as the Scriptures counsel. (1 Corinthians 7:9, 39) We can be sure that Jehovah rejoices over their interest in upholding his righteous principles. Their fellow Christians count it a joy to be associated with true worshipers of such high moral standards and integrity.

11. How can we be of help to a brother or a sister who is interested in getting married but who has not been able to do so?

¹¹ What if no appropriate partner can be found? Imagine the potential frustration of a person who desires to marry but who has not been able to do so! He may see his friends marry and achieve a measure of happiness, while he is still seeking an appropriate partner. For some in that situation, the unclean habit of masturbation may become an ongoing problem. In any case, no Christian wants inadvertently to dishearten another who is struggling to remain chaste. We could unintentionally cause discouragement if we made such inconsiderate comments as, “When are you going to get married?” That might be said with no ill intent, but how much better for us to manifest self-control in the sense of guarding our tongue! (Psalm 39:1) Those among us who are remaining chaste while in a single state deserve our warmest commendation. Rather than say what might be discouraging, we could strive to be encouraging. For instance, we could make an effort to include single individuals when a small group of mature ones gather for a meal or wholesome Christian association.

Self-Control in Marriage

12. Why is a measure of self-control needed even by those who are married?

¹² Being married does not in itself eliminate the need for self-control as it relates to sex. For example, the sexual needs of husband and wife may differ greatly. Or the physical condition of one mate may at times make normal sexual relations difficult or even impossible. Perhaps because of prior experiences, one mate may find it challenging to obey the injunction: “Let the husband render to his wife her due; but let the wife also do likewise to her husband.” In such a situation, the other mate may need to exercise added self-control. But both can bear in mind Paul’s loving advice to married Christians: “Do not be depriving each other of it, except by mutual consent for an appointed time, that you may devote time to prayer and may come together again, that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self-regulation.”​—1 Corinthians 7:3, 5.

13. What can we do in behalf of ones struggling to exercise self-control?

¹³ How grateful married couples can be if both have learned to exercise proper self-control in this most intimate relationship. At the same time, they do well to show understanding to fellow worshipers who are still struggling to manifest it in that area. We should never forget to pray that Jehovah give our spiritual brothers insight, courage, and determination to continue their fight to manifest self-control and to take steps to overcome improper desires.​—Philippians 4:6, 7.

Continue Helping One Another

14. Why should we deal compassionately and understandingly with fellow Christians?

¹⁴ At times, we may find it difficult to be understanding toward fellow Christians who are struggling to show self-control in an area that gives us no trouble. But people differ by nature. Some are easily ruled by emotions; others are not. Some find it comparatively easy to control themselves, self-control posing no great problem. Others have more difficulty. Yet, remember, a struggling person is not a bad person. Fellow Christians need our understanding and compassion. Our own happiness is involved as we continue to show mercy toward those still struggling to increase their display of self-control. We can see that from Jesus’ words recorded at Matthew 5:7.

15. Why are the words at Psalm 130:3 comforting in the matter of self-control?

¹⁵ Never do we want to misjudge a fellow Christian who may on some occasion fail to manifest the Christian personality. How encouraging to know that in addition to seeing the one time that we may have failed, Jehovah sees the many times when we did not, even if all of these went unnoticed by fellow Christians. It is most comforting to keep in mind the words of Psalm 130:3: “If errors were what you watch, O Jah, O Jehovah, who could stand?”

16, 17. (a) How can we apply Galatians 6:2, 5 with respect to self-control? (b) What will we next consider about self-control?

¹⁶ To be pleasing to Jehovah, each of us must cultivate self-control, but we can be assured of the help of our Christian brothers. While each of us must bear his own burden of responsibility, we are nevertheless urged to help one another to cope with weaknesses. (Galatians 6:2, 5) We can treasure the parent, mate, or friend who prevents us from going places we should not go, from seeing things we should not see, or from doing things we should not do. He is helping us to display self-control, the ability to say no and to mean it!

¹⁷ Many Christians may be in accord with what we have considered up to this point about self-control, but they may feel that they personally have much room for improvement. They would like to display self-control more fully, to the extent that they believe can reasonably be expected of imperfect humans. Do you feel that way? What, then, can you do in the way of cultivating this aspect of the fruitage of God’s spirit? And how can your doing so help you to reach your long-term objectives as a Christian? Let us see in the next article.

To Win the Prize, Exercise Self-Control!

“Every man taking part in a contest exercises self-control in all things.”​—1 CORINTHIANS 9:25.

1. In line with Ephesians 4:22-24, how have millions said yes to Jehovah?

IF YOU were baptized as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, you went on public record that you were willing to engage in a contest that has eternal life as its prize. You said yes to doing Jehovah’s will. Before making a dedication to Jehovah, many of us had to make significant changes so that our dedication would be meaningful, acceptable to God. We followed the apostle Paul’s counsel to Christians: “Put away the old personality which conforms to your former course of conduct and which is being corrupted according to his deceptive desires . . . Put on the new personality which was created according to God’s will in true righteousness and loyalty.” (Ephesians 4:22-24) In other words, before saying yes as respects dedication to God, we had to say no to an unacceptable former way of life.

2, 3. How does 1 Corinthians 6:9-12 indicate that two kinds of changes must be made to gain God’s approval?

² Certain features of the old personality that prospective Witnesses of Jehovah must put away are directly condemned by God’s Word. Paul enumerated some in his letter to the Corinthians, saying: “Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s kingdom.” He then showed that first-century Christians made necessary personality changes, adding: “Yet that is what some of you were.” Notice, were, not are.​—1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

³ Paul suggested that additional changes might also be necessary, for he continued: “All things are lawful for me; but not all things are advantageous.” (1 Corinthians 6:12) Thus, many today who desire to be Jehovah’s Witnesses see the need of saying no even to things that although lawful are of no advantage or are of little lasting value. These may be time-consuming and could sidetrack them from pursuing things of greater importance.

4. On what do dedicated Christians agree with Paul?

⁴ Dedication to God is made willingly, not grudgingly, as if it entailed a huge sacrifice. Dedicated Christians agree with Paul, who said after he became a follower of Christ: “On account of [Jesus] I have taken the loss of all things and I consider them as a lot of refuse, that I may gain Christ.” (Philippians 3:8) Paul gladly said no to things of little value so that he could continue to say yes to God.

5. In what kind of race did Paul successfully participate, and how can we do likewise?

⁵ Paul exercised self-control in running his spiritual race and was finally able to say: “I have fought the fine fight, I have run the course to the finish, I have observed the faith. From this time on there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give me as a reward in that day, yet not only to me, but also to all those who have loved his manifestation.” (2 Timothy 4:7, 8) Will we someday be able to make a similar expression? We will if in faith we exercise self-control while running our Christian race without letup and through to completion.

Self-Control to Do Good

6. What is self-control, and what are two areas in which we must exercise it?

⁶ The Hebrew and Greek words translated “self-control” in the Bible literally denote that a person has power or control over himself. They often convey the thought of restraining oneself from doing bad. But it is obvious that a measure of self-control is also required if we are to use our bodies in doing good works. The natural tendency of imperfect humans is to do wrong, so we have a twofold struggle. (Ecclesiastes 7:29; 8:11) While refraining from doing bad, we must also compel ourselves to do good. In fact, controlling our body in order to do good is one of the best ways to avoid doing bad.

7. (a) For what should we pray, as did David? (b) Meditating on what will help us to exercise greater self-control?

⁷ Clearly, self-control is vital if we are to follow through on our dedication to God. We need to pray as did David: “Create in me even a pure heart, O God, and put within me a new spirit, a steadfast one.” (Psalm 51:10) We can meditate on the benefits of avoiding things that are morally wrong or physically debilitating. Think of the possible harm of not avoiding such things: serious health problems, disturbed relationships, even premature death. On the other hand, think of the many benefits of holding to the way of life that Jehovah prescribes. Being realistic, however, we must not forget that our heart is treacherous. (Jeremiah 17:9) We must be resolute in resisting its attempts to downplay the seriousness of upholding Jehovah’s standards.

8. What reality does experience teach us? Illustrate.

⁸ Most of us know from experience that the unwilling flesh often tries to extinguish the fire of a willing spirit. Take, for example, Kingdom preaching. Jehovah takes delight in the willingness of humans to participate in this life-giving work. (Psalm 110:3; Matthew 24:14) For most of us, learning to preach publicly did not come easy. It required​—and perhaps still requires—​that we control our body, “pummel” it and “lead it as a slave,” instead of allowing it to dictate the course of least resistance.​—1 Corinthians 9:16, 27; 1 Thessalonians 2:2.

“In All Things”?

9, 10. What is included in exercising “self-control in all things”?

⁹ The Bible’s counsel to exercise “self-control in all things” indicates that more is involved than just controlling our temper and refraining from immoral conduct. We may feel that we have achieved self-control in these areas, and if so, we can indeed be grateful. Yet, how about other areas of life in which the need for self-control may not be so obvious? To illustrate, suppose we live in a relatively affluent country with a high standard of living. Would it not be wise to learn to say no to unnecessary spending? Parents do well to teach their children not to buy whatever they see just because it is available, is appealing, or is financially within their reach. Of course, if such instruction is to be effective, parents must set the proper example.​—Luke 10:38-42.

¹⁰ Learning to do without can strengthen our willpower. It can also enhance appreciation for the material things we possess and can make us more sympathetic toward those who must do without some things, not by choice, but out of necessity. True, a modest course runs counter to such popular attitudes as “be good to yourself” or “you deserve the best.” The world of advertising promotes the desire for instant gratification, but it does so for the sake of its own commercial profit. This situation may impede our efforts to display self-control. A magazine from a prosperous European land recently noted: “If keeping undesirable impulses under control requires an inner struggle on the part of those living under the agonizing circumstances of extreme poverty, how much more so is that true of those living in the land of milk and honey in today’s affluent society!”

11. Why is learning to do without beneficial, but what makes this difficult?

¹¹ If we have difficulty distinguishing between what we want and what we truly need, it might be helpful to take steps to ensure that we do not act irresponsibly. For example, if we desire to counteract a leaning toward uncontrolled spending, we may want to resolve not to buy on credit, or when shopping, we may take only a set amount of money. Recall that Paul said “godly devotion along with self-sufficiency” is “a means of great gain.” He reasoned: “We have brought nothing into the world, and neither can we carry anything out. So, having sustenance and covering, we shall be content with these things.” (1 Timothy 6:6-8) Are we? Learning to live a simple life, free of the excess baggage of self-indulgence​—in whatever form—​calls for willpower and self-control. It is, though, a lesson worth learning.

12, 13. (a) In what ways do Christian meetings involve self-control? (b) What are some other areas in which we need to cultivate self-control?

¹² Attending Christian meetings, assemblies, and conventions also involves a particular manifestation of self-control. For instance, that quality is necessary lest we let our mind wander during the program. (Proverbs 1:5) It may take self-control not to disturb others by whispering to our neighbors rather than giving the speaker our full attention. Adjusting our schedule so that we can arrive on time may require self-control. Further, self-control may be needed to set aside time to prepare for the meetings and then to participate in them.

¹³ Exercising self-control in small things strengthens our ability to do so in larger matters. (Luke 16:10) Thus, how fine it is to discipline ourselves to read God’s Word and Bible publications regularly, studying them and meditating on what we learn! How wise it is to discipline ourselves concerning inappropriate jobs, friendships, attitudes, and personal habits or to discipline ourselves to say no to activities that could rob us of precious time for God’s service! Staying busy in Jehovah’s service is certainly a fine protection against things that could draw us away from the spiritual paradise of Jehovah’s worldwide congregation.

Become Full-Grown Through Self-Control

14. (a) How should children learn to exercise self-control? (b) What benefits can come when children learn such lessons early in life?

¹⁴ A newborn infant is not noted for self-control. A pamphlet by experts in child behavior explains: “Self-control does not happen automatically or suddenly. Infants and toddlers need parental guidance and support to begin the process of learning self-control. . . . With parents guiding the process, self-control increases throughout the school years.” A study of four-year-old children revealed that those who had learned to exercise a degree of self-control “generally grew up to be better adjusted, more popular, adventurous, confident and dependable teenagers.” The ones who had not begun learning this lesson “were more likely to be lonely, easily frustrated and stubborn. They buckled under stress and shied away from challenges.” Obviously, to become a well-adjusted adult, a child must learn to exercise self-control.

15. What does a lack of self-control indicate, in contrast with what goal set out in the Bible?

¹⁵ Likewise, if we are to become full-grown Christians, we must learn to manifest self-control. A lack of it indicates that we are still spiritual babes. The Bible admonishes us to “become full-grown in powers of understanding.” (1 Corinthians 14:20) Our goal is to “attain to the oneness in the faith and in the accurate knowledge of the Son of God, to a full-grown man, to the measure of stature that belongs to the fullness of the Christ.” Why? “In order that we should no longer be babes, tossed about as by waves and carried hither and thither by every wind of teaching by means of the trickery of men, by means of cunning in contriving error.” (Ephesians 4:13, 14) Clearly, learning to exercise self-control is vital to our spirituality.

Cultivating Self-Control

16. How does Jehovah provide help?

¹⁶ To cultivate self-control, we need divine help, and it is available. God’s Word, like a perfect mirror, shows us where we need to make personal changes, and it provides counsel on how to do so. (James 1:22-25) A loving brotherhood stands ready to offer help too. Christian elders show understanding in offering personal assistance. Jehovah himself gives freely of his holy spirit if we ask for it in prayer. (Luke 11:13; Romans 8:26) Therefore, let us joyfully use these provisions. The suggestions on page 21 may help.

17. What encouragement does Proverbs 24:16 give us?

¹⁷ How comforting to know that Jehovah values our efforts when we try to please him! This should motivate us to continue to strive for more self-control. Regardless of how often we may stumble, we must never give up in our efforts. “The righteous one may fall even seven times, and he will certainly get up.” (Proverbs 24:16) Each time we score a victory, we have reason to be pleased with ourselves. We can also be sure that Jehovah is pleased with us. One Witness says that before dedicating his life to Jehovah, each time he was successful in refraining from smoking for a week, he rewarded himself by buying something useful with the money self-control had helped him to save.

18. (a) What is involved in our battle for self-control? (b) What assurance does Jehovah provide?

¹⁸ Above all, we should remember that self-control involves the mind and emotions. We can see this from Jesus’ words: “Everyone that keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28; James 1:14, 15) He who has learned to control his mind and feelings will find it easier to control his whole body. Let us therefore strengthen our determination to avoid not only doing wrong but even thinking about it. Should wrong thoughts arise, reject them immediately. We can flee from temptation by prayerfully keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus. (1 Timothy 6:11; 2 Timothy 2:22; Hebrews 4:15, 16) As we do our best, we will be following the counsel of Psalm 55:22: “Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you. Never will he allow the righteous one to totter.”

[Box/Pictures on page 21]

How to Strengthen Self-Control

• Cultivate it even in little things

• Meditate on its present and future benefits

• Replace what God forbids with things that he encourages

• Reject improper ideas immediately

• Fill your mind with spiritually upbuilding thoughts

• Accept the help that mature fellow Christians can give

• Avoid compromising situations

• Pray for God’s help in times of temptation