Women​—Are They Respected Today?

WHY should this question even arise? some surprised males might ask. But when we examine the treatment of women throughout history, and nowadays in all the world, a few simple questions give us a clue to the answer.

In human relationships, who have mainly been the victims and who the oppressors? Who primarily have been battered in marriage? Men or women? Who have been raped in times of peace and of war? Who have been the major victims of childhood sexual abuse? Boys or girls? Who have often been consigned by man-​made decrees to second-​class citizenship? Who have been denied the right to vote? Who have had limited opportunity for education? Men or women?

The questions could go on and on, but the facts speak for themselves. In her book May You Be the Mother of a Hundred Sons, Elisabeth Bumiller writes, based on her experiences in India: “The ‘typical’ Indian woman, representing about 75 percent of the four hundred million women and female children in India, lives in a village. . . . She can neither read nor write, although she would like to, and has rarely traveled more than twenty miles [30 km] from her place of birth.” This inequality in education is a problem not just in India but throughout the world.

In Japan, as in many other countries, a disparity still exists. According to The Asahi Yearbook for 1991, the number of male students in four-​year university courses is 1,460,000 while that of females is 600,000. Without a doubt, women all over the world can testify to their inferior opportunities in the field of education. ‘Education is for boys’ is the attitude they have had to face.

In her recent book Backlash​—The Undeclared War Against American Women, Susan Faludi asks some pertinent questions about the status of women in the United States. “If American women are so equal, why do they represent two-​thirds of all poor adults? . . . Why are they still far more likely than men to live in poor housing and receive no health insurance, and twice as likely to draw no pension?”

Women have overwhelmingly been the ones who have suffered most. They are the ones who have borne the brunt of indignities, insults, sexual harassment, and lack of respect at the hands of men. This mistreatment is by no means limited to so-​called developing countries. The U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee recently compiled a report on violence against women. It came up with some shocking facts. “Every 6 minutes, a woman is raped; every 15 seconds, a woman is beaten. . . . No woman is immune from violent crime in this country. Of American women alive today, three out of four will be the victim of at least one violent crime.” In one year, from three to four million women were abused by their husbands. It was this deplorable situation that led to the introduction of the Violence Against Women Act of 1990.​—Senate Report, The Violence Against Women Act of 1990.

Let us now examine some of the settings in which women have endured a lack of respect from men around the world. Then, in the last two articles in this series, we will discuss how mutual respect can be shown by men and women in all walks of life.

Women​—Respected at Home?

“One after another, the women met gruesome deaths. . . . And while the manner of their deaths differed, the underlying circumstances did not: Quebec [Canada] police say that each of the women was killed by a past or present husband or lover. In all, 21 women in Quebec have been killed this year [1990], victims of a surge in conjugal violence.”​—Maclean’s, October 22, 1990.

DOMESTIC violence, called by some “the dark side of family life,” sows a harvest of disrupted families and produces children with a twisted view of what marital relations are supposed to be. Children are torn apart in their loyalties to their parents as they try to understand why dad is battering mom. (Less frequently, the question is, why is mom being so vicious to dad?) The fruitage of domestic violence often includes sons who grow up to be wife beaters themselves. The paternal imprint has left them with grave psychological as well as personality problems.

The UN publication The World’s Women​—1970-1990 states: “Men’s attacks on women in their homes are thought to be the least reported of crimes—​in part because such violence is seen as a social ill, not a crime.”

How bad is spouse abuse in the United States? The Senate report quoted in the previous article states: “The term ‘domestic violence’ may sound tame, but the behavior it describes is far from gentle. Statistics present a chilling picture of just how serious​—indeed even lethal—​spouse abuse may be. Between 2,000 and 4,000 women die every year from abuse. . . . Unlike other crimes, spouse abuse is ‘chronic’ violence. It is persistent intimidation and repeated physical injury.”

World Health magazine says: “Violence against women occurs in every country and in every social and economic class. In many cultures, wife-​beating is considered a man’s right. All too often, routine beating and rape of women and girls are considered ‘private matters’ that do not concern others​—whether the legal authorities or health personnel.” This violence at home can easily spread to the school setting.

This was illustrated in what happened at a Kenya coed boarding school in July 1991. The New York Times reported that “71 teen-​age schoolgirls were raped by male students and 19 others died in a night of dormitory violence that reportedly . . . ran on unchecked by the local police or teachers.” How could this rampage of sexual violence be explained? “This tragedy has underscored the abominable male chauvinism that dominates Kenyan social life,” wrote Hilary Ng’Weno, editor in chief of The Weekly Review, Kenya’s most widely read magazine. “The lot of our women and girls is lamentable. . . . We bring up our boys to have little or no respect for girls.”

Therein lies the crux of the problem worldwide​—boys are often raised to view girls and women as inferior, exploitable creatures. The women are seen as vulnerable and easily dominated. From there it is just a short step to disrespect for the female and outright male chauvinism and an equally short step to acquaintance rape or date rape. And regarding rape, let it not be forgotten that “an assault may be over in moments, but felt for a lifetime.”​—Senate Report.

Many men, although not necessarily physically violent against women, can be described as subliminal misogynists, or woman haters. Rather than physical violence, they use psychological abuse or battering. In her book Men Who Hate Women & the Women Who Love Them, Dr. Susan Forward says: “As their partners described them, [these men] were often charming and even loving, but they were able to switch to cruel, critical, and insulting behavior on a moment’s notice. Their behavior covered a wide spectrum, from obvious intimidation and threats to more subtle, covert attacks which took the form of constant put-​downs or erosive criticism. Whatever the style, the results were the same. The man gained control by grinding the woman down. These men also refused to take any responsibility for how their attacks made their partners feel.”

Yasuko,a a petite Japanese, now married 15 years, told Awake! of her family experience: “My father regularly beat and mistreated my mother. He would kick and punch her, drag her by the hair, and even throw stones at her. And do you know why? Because she dared to challenge him about his infidelity with another woman. You see, in Japanese culture, it has been viewed as quite normal for some men to have a mistress. My mother was ahead of her time and refused to accept it. After 16 years of marriage and four children, she got a divorce. She was left with no child support from my father.”

Yet, even where wife battering has been reported to the authorities, it has often not prevented a vindictive husband from murdering his wife. On many occasions, in countries like the United States, the law has been inadequate to protect a threatened and terrorized spouse. “One study showed that in over half of all murders of wives by their husbands, police had been called to the residence five times in the previous year to investigate a domestic violence complaint.” (Senate Report) In some extreme cases, to save herself from further abuse, the wife has killed her husband.

Domestic violence, in which the woman is usually the victim, manifests itself in many different ways. In India the reported number of so-​called dowry deaths (husbands killing wives because of dissatisfaction with the dowry being paid by the wife’s family) increased from 2,209 in 1988 to 4,835 in 1990. These figures cannot be viewed as complete or accurate, though, since many deaths of wives are passed off as domestic accidents​—usually by deliberate burning with kerosene used for cooking. Added to this are the suicides of wives who can no longer face domestic misery.

When the Choice Is Sons or Daughters

Women are discriminated against from birth and even before birth. How is that so? Awake! interviewed Madhu from Bombay, India, for one answer: “When a son is born to an Indian family, there is rejoicing. The mother’s problems are over. Now the parents have a son to care for them in their old age. Their ‘social security’ is guaranteed. But if she gives birth to a daughter, she is looked upon as a failure. It is as if she has merely brought another burden into the world. The parents are going to have to provide an expensive dowry in order to get her married off. And if a mother keeps producing daughters, then she is a loser.”b

The journal Indian Express reported regarding girls in India: “Their survival is not considered really important to the survival of the family.” The same source cites a survey in Bombay that “revealed that out of 8,000 foetuses aborted following sex-​determination tests, 7,999 were female.”

Elisabeth Bumiller writes: “The condition of some Indian women is so wretched that if their plight received the attention given to that of ethnic and racial minorities in other parts of the world, their cause would be taken up by human rights groups.”​—May You Be the Mother of a Hundred Sons.

“Woman’s Work Is Never Done”

“Woman’s work is never done” may seem like a cliché. But it states a truth that men often overlook. A woman with children does not have the luxury of a fixed work schedule, from nine to five, as men often do. If a baby is crying in the night, who is the one most likely to respond? Who does the cleaning, washing, and ironing? Who prepares and serves the meals when the husband comes home from work? Who cleans up after the meals and then prepares the children for bed? And in many countries, in addition to all of this, who is expected to fetch water and even work in the fields with a baby on her back? Usually mother. Her schedule is not just 8 or 9 hours a day; it is often 12 to 14 or more. However, there is no overtime pay for her​—and too often there is no thanks either!

According to World Health magazine, in Ethiopia many “women are expected to work 16 to 18 hours a day, [and] their level of income is so low that they cannot maintain themselves and their families. . . . Hunger is a daily phenomenon; in most cases, they [women fuelwood collectors and carriers] get only one incomplete meal per day and usually leave their homes without breakfast.”

Siu, originally from Hong Kong, now married 20 years, said: “In the Chinese context, men have tended to belittle women, viewing them either as domestic helpers and child bearers or, at the other extreme, as idols, toys, or sex objects. But really, what we women want is to be treated as intelligent creatures. We want men to listen to us when we speak and not just act as if we were dummies!”

Little wonder that the book Men and Women says: “Everywhere, even if women are highly regarded, the activities of men are valued more than those of women. It matters not a whit how a society allocates roles and tasks between the sexes; those that belong to men inevitably count for more in the eyes of the whole community.”

The fact of the matter is that the woman’s role in the home is usually taken for granted. Thus, the foreword to The World’s Women​—1970-1990 states: “Women’s living conditions—​and their contributions to the family, the economy and the household​—have generally been invisible. Many statistics have been defined in terms that portray men’s conditions and contributions, not women’s, or that simply ignore gender. . . . Much of the work women do is still not considered to be of any economic value at all​—and is not even measured.”

In 1934, North American writer Gerald W. Johnson expressed opinions about women in the workplace: “A woman frequently gets a man’s job but rarely a man’s pay. The reason is that there is no conceivable form of daily labor that cannot be done better by some man than by any woman. The greatest dressmakers and milliners are men . . . The greatest cooks are invariably men. . . . Right here and now it is a fact that any employer is willing to give a man more money than he gives a woman for the same work because he has reason to believe that the man will do it better.” That comment, though it may have been tongue-​in-​cheek, reflected the biases of the time, which are still current in many male minds.

Lack of Respect​—A Worldwide Problem

Every culture has developed its attitudes, biases, and prejudices as to the role of women in society. But the question that has to be answered is, Do these attitudes show due respect for the dignity of women? Or, rather, do they reflect male dominance over the centuries due to man’s usually superior physical strength? If women are treated as slaves or as exploitable objects, then where is the respect for their dignity? To a greater or lesser degree, most cultures have subverted the woman’s role and undermined her self-​esteem.

One example of many from around the world comes from Africa: “Yoruba women [Nigeria] must pretend to be ignorant and acquiescent in the presence of their husbands, and when serving meals, they are required to kneel at their husbands’ feet.” (Men and Women) In other parts of the world, this subservience may be shown in a variety of ways​—a wife’s having to walk a certain distance behind her husband, or having to walk while he rides a horse or a mule, or having to carry burdens while the husband carries none, or having to eat separately, and so on.

In his book The Japanese, Edwin Reischauer, born and raised in Japan, wrote: “Attitudes of male chauvinism are blatantly evident in Japan. . . . A double sexual standard, which leaves the man free and the woman restricted, is still common. . . . Married women, moreover, are expected to be far more faithful than men.”

As in many countries, sexual harassment is also a problem in Japan, especially in the packed subway cars at rush hour. Yasuko, from Hino City, a suburb of Tokyo, told Awake!: “As a young woman, I used to commute into Tokyo. It was so embarrassing because some men took advantage of the situation to pinch and feel wherever they could. What could we women do about it? We had to endure it. But it was shameful. At morning rush hour, there was a separate car for women, so at least some could escape those indignities.”

Sue, a former resident in Japan, had her own way of freeing herself of these attentions. She would say in a loud voice, “Fuzakenai de kudasai!” which means “Quit fooling around!” She says: “That got immediate attention and action. Nobody wanted to lose face in front of all the others. Suddenly there was not a single man touching me!”

Lack of respect for women in the domestic circle is evidently a worldwide problem. But what about the role of women in the workplace? Do they get more respect and recognition there?

[Footnotes]

[Box on page 6]

How Is a Child’s Sex Determined?

“The sex of the unborn child is decided at the instant of fertilization, and it is the father’s sperm cell that is decisive. Every ovum, or egg, that a woman produces is female in the sense that it contains an X, or a female, sex chromosome. In a man, only half of the sperm cells carry an X chromosome, while the other half carry a Y, which is the male sex chromosome.” Therefore, if two X chromosomes are joined, the result will be a girl; if a male Y joins the female X, the baby will be a boy. Thus, whether a woman has boys or girls is decided by the chromosome factor in the male sperm. (ABC’s of the Human Body, a Reader’s Digest publication) It is illogical for a man to blame his wife for producing only girls. There should be no blame attached. It is simply the lottery of procreation.

[Box/​Picture on page 8]

A Tragedy of Massive Proportions

In her book Feminism Without Illusions, Elizabeth Fox-​Genovese wrote: “There is good reason to believe that many men . . . are increasingly tempted to use [their] strength in the one situation in which it still clearly gives them an advantage​—their personal relations with women. If I am correct in this suspicion, then we are looking at a tragedy of massive proportions.” And that tragedy of massive proportions embraces the millions of women who suffer daily at the hands of a bullying husband, a father, or any other male​—a male who fails to “meet the tests of equity and justice.”

“In thirty states [of the United States], it is still generally legal for husbands to rape their wives; and only ten states have laws mandating arrest for domestic violence . . . Women who have no other option but to flee find that isn’t much of an alternative either. . . . One third of the 1 million battered women who seek emergency shelter each year can find none.”​—Introduction to Backlash—​The Undeclared War Against American Women, by Susan Faludi.

[Picture]

For millions, domestic violence is the dark side of family life

[Picture on page 7]

Hundreds of millions live without running water, sewage disposal, or electricity in their homes​—if they have a home

Women​—Respected in the Workplace?

“Whether single or married, the majority of the men viewed the women as fair game.”​—Jenny, formerly a legal secretary.

“Sexual harassment and abuse of females in the hospital setting is notorious.”​—Sarah, a registered nurse.

“I was constantly propositioned at work, you know, immoral suggestions.”​—Jean, a registered nurse.

DO THESE cases represent an exceptional situation, or are they widespread? Awake! interviewed a number of women with experience in the workplace. Were they respected and treated with dignity by their male counterparts? These were some of their comments:

Sarah, a nurse from New Jersey, U.S.A., with nine years’ experience in U.S. military hospitals: “I remember when I served in San Antonio, Texas, and a vacancy arose in the Kidney Dialysis Department. I asked a group of doctors what I would have to do to get the job. One answered with a smirk, ‘Go to bed with the head doctor.’ I just said, ‘On those terms I don’t want the job.’ But that is often how promotion and jobs are decided. The woman has to bend to the dominant lusting male.

“On another occasion, I was working in an intensive care unit fixing IVs [intravenous lines] to a patient when a doctor came by and pinched my rear. I was furious and stormed out to a nearby room. He followed me and said something crude. I just slugged him right into a garbage can! I went straight back to my patient. Needless to say he never harassed me again!”

Miriam, a married woman from Egypt who formerly did secretarial work in Cairo, explained the situation for women working in an Egyptian Muslim setting. “Women are more modestly dressed than in Western society. I didn’t observe any physical sexual harassment in my workplace. But there is sexual harassment on the Cairo subway to the degree that now the first car is reserved for women.”

Jean, a quiet but determined woman with 20 years’ experience as a nurse, said: “I followed a strict policy of never dating anyone at work. But the harassment came whether I was dealing with doctors or with male orderlies. They all thought they had the psychological advantage. If we nurses did not ‘cooperate’ with them in their sexual desires, then the orderlies would not be around when we needed help to lift a patient onto a bed and suchlike things.”

Jenny worked as a legal secretary for seven years. She explains what she saw while working with lawyers. “Whether single or married, the majority of the men viewed the women as fair game. Their attitude was, ‘As lawyers we have earned it, and women are one of our privileges.’” And the evidence seems to indicate that other professionals have the same opinion. But what can a woman do to reduce harassment?

Darlene, a black American who worked as a secretary and as a restaurant hostess, said: “Things can go wrong if you fail to establish your boundaries of conduct. If a man starts to tease you and you tease back, then things can easily get out of hand. I have had to state my position clearly on different occasions. I have used expressions such as, ‘I would appreciate it if you didn’t speak to me in those terms.’ On another occasion I said: ‘As a married woman, I find what you have said to be offensive, and I don’t think my husband would appreciate it.’

“The point is, if you want respect, you have to earn it. And I don’t see how a woman can earn respect if she tries to compete with men in what I call locker-​room talk​—off-​color jokes and sexual insinuations. If you blur the boundary between acceptable and unacceptable speech and conduct, then some guy will try to cross it.”

The Bullying Male

Connie, a nurse with 14 years’ experience, explained another form of harassment that can crop up in many settings. “I was working with a doctor on a normal change-​of-​dressing routine. I followed all the standard procedures that I had learned. I know all about sterile technique, and so forth. But nothing was right for that doctor. He ranted and raved at me and criticized my every move. This kind of thing, putting women down, is pretty frequent. Some men have an ego problem, and it seems they have a need to impose their authority over the women working with them.”

Sarah, previously quoted, added her experience in this regard. “I was working in preparation for an operation when I checked out the vital signs of the patient. His EKG [electrocardiogram] record was so irregular that I knew he was in no condition to be operated on. I made the mistake of drawing this to the attention of the surgeon. He was furious, and his response was: ‘Nurses should pay attention to bed pans, not EKGs.’ So I just notified the head anesthesiologist, and he said that under these circumstances his team would not cooperate with the surgeon. Then the surgeon turned around and told the man’s wife that I was to blame for her husband’s not being operated on yet! In that setting a woman cannot win. Why? Because you have unwittingly threatened a male ego.”

Clearly, women are often subjected to harassment and demeaning conduct in the workplace.