Defusing Anger

It isn’t easy to deal with the hurt and pain that arise when you’re a victim of mistreatment. Some in that position lose their self-control. In fact, the Bible speaks of people who are “given to anger” and “disposed to rage.” (Proverbs 22:24; 29:22) This is no trivial matter. Uncontrolled anger can cause you to take action that you’ll later regret. So how can you control your emotions when you’ve been mistreated?

First, analyze the situation squarely, and see if you can settle the matter in your heart.a (Psalm 4:4) Remember, paying back “injury for injury” will just make matters worse. (1 Thessalonians 5:15) After thinking the matter over and praying about it, you might find that you’re able to let go of resentment. Once you do that, you will reduce its hold on you.​—Psalm 37:8.

But what if the hurt just won’t go away? The Bible says that there is “a time to keep quiet and a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:7) Can you approach the person who hurt you? If that’s not advisable, you might benefit by talking to your parents or a mature friend about how you feel. If someone is purposely trying to harass you, make a special effort to be kind to that one. The chart on page 221 can help you to think up additional responses to situations that until now may have made you react impulsively.

By all means, pray to Jehovah, and ask him to help you avoid building up resentment toward the individual who hurt you. Remember this: Although you can’t change what happened, you can change your reaction to what happened. If you let yourself be consumed with resentment, you become as helpless as a hooked fish. You allow someone else to lead your thinking and emotions. Wouldn’t you rather be the one who is in control?​—Romans 12:19.

[Chart/​Pictures on page 221]

Worksheet

Control Your Anger

Complete the chart

Event

A classmate ridicules me

Impulsive reaction

Respond with an insult

Better response

Ignore the remark, and show my classmate that he will not provoke me

Event

My sister “borrowed” my favorite shoes without asking me

Impulsive reaction

Retaliate by “borrowing” something of hers

Better response

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Event

My parents say I’m grounded

Impulsive reaction

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Better response

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