A growing number of children have a smartphone,a and many of them use their phone to access the Internet in the privacy of their bedroom. What are the risks of letting your child have a smartphone? What are the benefits? How much screen time is too much?

• What you should know

• What you should ask

• Ask yourself if you are ready

What you should know

The Benefits

• Safety for children, peace of mind for parents. “We live in a dangerous world,” says Bethany, a mother of two teenagers. “It’s vital for children to be able to contact their parents.”

  A mother named Catherine takes it further. “With some apps,” she says, “you can connect to your child’s phone to see where he is. If he’s driving, you can even see how fast he’s going.”

• Help for schoolwork. “Children get homework via e-mail or text message, and they can communicate with their teachers the same way,” says a mother named Marie.

The Risks

• Too much screen time. Young people typically spend several hours a day on their phone. In fact, parents spend about as much time interacting with their devices as they spend in meaningful interaction with their children. Some households have become, as one counselor describes it, “a daily gathering of strangers fixated on a bunch of machines.”b

• Pornography. According to one estimate, more than half of all teenagers seek out pornography on a monthly basis—hardly surprising, considering the ease with which it can be accessed on a mobile device. “By letting their child have a smartphone,” says William, a father of two teenagers, “parents could be unwittingly opening up a pornography shop that goes wherever the child goes.”

• Dependency. Many people are emotionally attached to their phone. If it is misplaced, they report feeling panicky, desperate, and even sick. Some parents note that their children become rude when using their device. “Sometimes when I want to talk to my son,” says Carmen, “he rolls his eyes or makes a snarky remark because he doesn’t like being interrupted.”

• Additional risks. Smartphone use brings with it the risk of cyberbullying and sexting, and can lead to a number of health problems that result from poor posture and a lack of sleep. Some young people use a “ghost app”—an app that appears to be innocent, such as a calculator—to hide content that they do not want their parents to see.

  Daniel, the father of a teenage girl, sums it up this way: “A smartphone opens a window to everything the Internet has to offer—both good and bad.”

What you should ask

• ‘Does my child need a smartphone?’

  The Bible says: “The shrewd one ponders each step.” (Proverbs 14:15) With that in mind, ask yourself:

  ‘Do safety or other issues make it advisable for my child to have a smartphone? Have I weighed the benefits and the risks? Is there an alternative to a smartphone?’

  “Basic phones are still available,” says a father named Todd, “and they give you a way to contact your child via text and calling. You’ll also save a lot of money.”

• ‘Is my child ready for the responsibility?’

  The Bible says: “The heart of the wise one leads him in the right way.” (Ecclesiastes 10:2) With that in mind, ask yourself:

  ‘What convinces me that my child is trustworthy? Do we already have open communication? Does my child have issues with dishonesty, perhaps hiding who his friends are? Does he already know how to show self-restraint with other devices, including the TV, a tablet, or a laptop?’ “A smartphone is an awesome tool, but a powerful one,” says a mother named Serena. “Think about the responsibility you may be giving your child at a tender age.”

• ‘Am I ready for the responsibility?’

  The Bible says: “Train a child in the way he should go.” (Proverbs 22:6, footnote) With that in mind, ask yourself:

  ‘Do I know enough about the phone to help my child understand and avoid potential dangers? Do I know how to set its parental controls? How will I help my child to show good judgment in using the phone?’ “I’ve seen too many parents hand their kid a smartphone and walk away,” says Daniel, a father quoted earlier.

The bottom line: Children need training to use a smartphone responsibly. “The temptation to overuse these devices is too much to expect our kids to manage,” says the book Indistractable, “particularly in the absence of parental oversight.”

A smartphone is like a power tool—it can be helpful or harmful, depending on how it is used. How can you teach your children to show good judgment with this powerful device? For example, how much screen time is too much?a

• What you should know

• What you can do

• “A loving parent sets rules”

What you should know

• The smartphone exposes the user to danger. As shown in the article “Children and Smartphones—Part 1: Should My Child Have a Smartphone?” the smartphone provides access to everything the Internet has to offer, both good and bad.

  “It’s easy to forget that a smartphone can expose our children to all sorts of dangerous people and ideas.”—Brenda.

• Children need guidance. Young people were born into the culture of technology, whereas many adults are relative newcomers to it. However, this doesn’t mean that parents are technologically incompetent and that kids are better qualified to decide how and when to use their smartphones.

  Granted, your children might be more adept than you are at navigating a smartphone, but do not confuse ability with maturity. Even tech-savvy children need parental guidance when it comes to the responsible use of a smartphone.

  “Giving your child a smartphone without training is like giving him the keys to a car, sitting him in the driver’s seat, starting the engine, and saying ‘Please be careful’ without first giving him driving lessons.”—Seth.

What you can do

• Learn the features of your child’s phone. Become familiar with the tools that can help your child use the phone responsibly. For example:

  What parental controls does the phone have to limit usage?

  Do you know that phone settings that block inappropriate content are not foolproof?

  The more you know about your child’s smartphone, the better prepared you will be to help him use it responsibly.

  Bible principle: “With knowledge a man increases his power.”—Proverbs 24:5.

• Set boundaries. Decide what you will and will not allow. For example:

  Will you allow your child to bring the phone to the dinner table or to use it while visiting with family or friends?

  Should your children have their phone in the bedroom overnight?

  What apps will you allow?

  How much screen time is too much?

  Will you set a time limit on daily usage?

  Make your rules known, and be prepared to enforce disciplinary measures if the rules are broken.

  Bible principle: “Do not hold back discipline from a youth.”—Proverbs 23:13, footnote.

• Monitor. Know your child’s password, and check the contents of his or her phone as needed, including text messages, apps, pictures, and sites visited.

  “We told our daughter that we might make periodic unannounced checks on her phone. Her phone privileges were subject to change if she was irresponsible with it.”—Lorraine.

  As a parent, you have every right to know how your child’s smartphone is being used.

  Bible principle: “A child is known by his actions, whether his behavior is pure and right.”—Proverbs 20:11.

• Teach values. Help your child want to do what is right. Why is that important? Because a determined child may try to work around a parent’s best efforts at monitoring.b

  Therefore, train your child to have virtuous qualities such as honesty, self-control, and a sense of responsibility for his or her actions. A child who has moral values is more likely to use a phone wisely.

  Bible principle: “Mature people . . . have their powers of discernment trained to distinguish both right and wrong.”—Hebrews 5:14.