Pa myaka yapitapo, bisemi bya ku byalo bya bazungu byapimpulwa bingi. Kala, bansemi bo batangijilanga baana, kabiji baana bebakookelanga. Pano luno, mu bisemi bimo, kyamweka baana bo babena kutangijila bansemi babo. Akilangulukai pa bimweka byalondelapo.

• Kalombwana wa myaka ina wajinga ne bainanji mu shitolo, kabiji wakebelenga kutoola kamotoka kakukayisha. Bainanji baesekele kumukanya’mba: “Tumyotoka to uji nato twakukayisha twavula, ukikeba ne kakwabo nyi?” Pa kuba’mba bainanji bakavulukenga’mba Kechi bafwainwe kumwipuzha bwipuzho ne, bintu byaya kala munsunya. Mwana watendeka kujila’mba: “Kanatu mumpotele!” Na mambo a kuba’mba bainanji bachiine’mba mwanabo usakutendeka kuba kazanga byonka byo oba kimye kyonse, bainanji bamupotejile kano kamotoka ka kukayisha.

• Kashimbi uji na myaka ya kusemwa itanu wachibikizha mwisambo wa bashanji ye babena kwisamba na balunda nabo. Waamba’mba: “Amiwa nakooka, mbena kukeba kuya ku nzubo!” Bashanji baleka byo babena kwamba, babandama ne kumwambila na jiwi jakooka amba: “Katatakatu tuyenga, waumvwa nyi?”

• James uji na myaka 12 bamupelemo mambo a kupachila mufunjishi wanji ku sukulu. Bashanji James bazhingijile mufunjishi. Baamba’mba: “Awa mufunjishi watemwa bingi kukumanyika. Mbena kuya na kumulobela ku bakulumpe banji!”

Byo twaambapo peulupo ke bya kufwanyikizhatu, pano bino, bimweka. Kabiji bibena kumwesha lukatazho luji mu bisemi muji bansemi bakosamika baana, boba byonse bikeba baana babo, kabiji “bapokolola” baana babo mu bintu byatama byakonsha kufumamo mu byubilo byabo byatama. Buku wa kuba’mba The Narcissism Epidemic waamba’mba: “Ano moba bansemi babena kupana luusa lwabaya ku baana babacheche. Myaka ya kunyuma, baana bayukile kuba’mba bansemi bo baji na luusa kechi abo ne.”

Ibyo kuba’mba bansemi bavula babena kwibikako kufunjisha baana babo mafunde awama, kupichila mu byubilo byabo ne kwibololako umvwe batamisha. Byonka byaamba buku ye twaambapo kala, bansemi bayuka buwame buji mu kuba bino, “babena kuba bintu bimona bantu bamo amba kechi byayilamo ne.”

Ki ka kyalengela’mba bintu bipimpulwe? Mambo ka baana o babena kubujila kumvwa?

Bansemi babena kukankalwa kufunjisha baana

Bamo bamba’mba bansemi batendekele kupana luusa lwabaya ku baana babo mu myaka ya mu ma 1960 kimye bantu bo batela’mba bashayuka kyo batundaikilenga bansemi kulama baana butotwe. Baambanga’mba: ‘Bansemi bafwainwa kwikala balunda na baana babo, kechi kwikala na luusa pa baana ne.’ ‘Kutakaika mwana kwawama kukila kumujimuna.’ ‘Kechi mwafwainwa kololako baana pa byatama byo boba ne, bino, mwafwainwa kwibasanchilanga pa byawama byo boba.’ Bashayuka kechi bakwasha bansemi kuyuka pa kupelela pa kutakaika baana ne pa kwibololako ne, bino, bamba’mba kunena baana kwakonsha kwibazhingijisha kya kuba pa kukoma bashikwa bansemi babo.

Kabiji bashayuka batundaikilenga baana kwinemeka bene. Kyajingatu nobe bataana jishinda jawama ja kukomeshamo baana ja kuba’mba: Mwafwainwa kulengela baana benu kumona’mba banemekwa. Ibyo kuba’mba kyanema kukwasha baana kwiketekela. Pano bino, bano bashayuka bakijishemo kutundaika baana kwinemeka kupichila mu kubuula bansemi amba: ‘Chinuzhukainga byambo nabiji bya kuba’mba ine nangwa’mba kyatama.’ ‘Mwafwainwa kubuula baana benu amba mwibanemeka bingi kabiji bakonsha kwikela monka mo bakebela.’ Kyajingatu nobe kwimona kunema kwanema kukila kwikala na byubilo byawama.

Onkao mambo, bamo bamba’mba kutundaika baana kwinemeka bene kwalengela baana kwimona kunema bingi kya kuba bamona nobe ntanda iji mu maboko abo. Kabiji buku wa kuba’mba Generation Me waamba’mba kuba bino kwalengela banyike bavula kubula “kwinengezha bulongo ku bintu byatama bimweka mu bwikalo.” Nsemi wamulume umo wanembwa mu yenka uno buku waambile’mba: “Bantu ku nkito kechi batako muchima ku kwinemeka obewa mwine ne. . . . Inge waleta sawakya watama ku nkito, mukulumpe wobe wa nkito kechi ukamba’mba, ‘Natemwa musombelo wa kipepala kyo wasala ne.’ Kukomesha baana mu jino jishinda kulengela baana kubula kukoma bulongo.”

Kupimpulwa kwa ndangulukilo

Pa myaka yavula yapitapo, mashinda a kukomeshamo baana apimpulwa bingi. Ronald G. Morrish wanembele’mba: “Mfunjishisho ya baana ibena kuyatu na kupimpulwa, kabiji kino ‘kibena kumwesha bintu byo bibena kupimpulwa mu bwikalo bwa bwa bantu.’a Kyapeela bingi bansemi kwikala byonka byaamba Baibolo amba, “awa ulondela mafunjisho a bubela a bantu bajimbaika bakwabo, uji nobe bwato bukumpaulwa ne kulelaulwa na manyaki.”—Efisesa 4:14.

Kya kine, kubula kufunjisha baana bulongo mwafuma bintu byatama bingi. Luusa lwa bansemi pa baana lwakooka kabiji kafwako wakutangijila baana pa kufuukula bulongo bya kuba mu bwikalo ne.

Nanchi kujipo jishinda jawama ja kufunjishamo baana nyi?

KINE, mwingilo wa kukomesha baana ke mwingilo wabaya bingi. Nangwa byonkabyo, kubula kujimuna baana inge kibena kukebewa kulengela uno mwingilo kukatazha bingi. Mambo ka? Mambo kubula kwibajimuna (1) kulengela baana kutwajijila kubula kumvwa, kabiji kino kikookesha bingi bansemi, (2) kulengela bansemi kwalauka alauka pa kutangijila baana babo, kabiji kino kivulañanya baana.

Pano bino, kujimunako baana mu jishinda jawama kukwasha baana kulanguluka bulongo ne kwikala na byubilo byawama. Kabiji kwibalengela kukoma bulongo ne kwikala bantu balumbuluka. Pano kwepi ko mwakonsha kutaana lutangijilo lwawama pa kufunjisha baana benu?

Buneme bwa Mafunde a mu Baibolo

Bakamonyi ba kwa Yehoba banemba uno magazini, baitabila byaamba Baibolo amba Binembelo “bikwasha bantu pa kwibafunjisha, pa kwibakajipila, pa kwibololako.” (2 Timoti 3:16) Baibolo kechi buku waambatu pa bya kukomesha baana ne, bino mafunde ajimo akwasha bingi bisemi. Akilangulukai pa mafunde alondelapo.

BAIBOLO WAAMBA’MBA: “Kukosama kwakakachila mu muchima wa mwana.”—Byambo bya Maana 22:15.

Nangwa kya kuba baana bamweka kwikala na maana ne lusa, kimye kimo boba bintu byabula kufwainwa. Onkao mambo, baana bakebewa kwibafunjisha. (Byambo bya Maana 13:24) Kuyuka kino kishinka kukemukwasha kwingila bulongo mwingilo wenu wa bunsemi.

BAIBOLO WAAMBA’MBA: “Kange ubule kufunda mwana ne.”—Byambo bya Maana 23:13.

Kechi mwafwainwa kuchina’mba kujimunako baana kukebalengela kubula kwikala bulongo nangwa kwibalengela kwimushikwa inge bakoma ne. Inge mwajimunako baana benu mu jishinda jawama, lujimuno lwenu lukebakwasha kwikala na muchima wa kutambwila lujimuno, kabiji kino kikebakwasha bingi inge bakoma.—Bahebelu 12:11.

BAIBOLO WAAMBA’MBA: “Kyonka muntu kyo abyala, kyo kyo akanowa.”—Ngalatiya 6:7.

Mwayilatu kisemwa, bansemi bakeba kuzhikijila baana babo, kabiji kuba bino kwanema bingi. Pano bino, kyanema bingi kuyuka pa kupelela. Kechi mukwasha baana benu ne, inge kya kuba ke “mwibazhikijile” ku bintu byatama bifuma mu byubilo byabo byabula kufwainwa nangwa kwibazhikijila inge bafunjishi nangwa muntu mukwabo wakoma wimubuula byatama byauba mwanenu. Mwafwainwa kumonanga bano bantu amba balunda nenu babena kwimukwasha kukomesha baana benu bulongo. Inge ke mube bino, mukafunjisha baana benu kunemeka bakulumpe, kubikapotu ne anweba bene.—Kolose 3:20.

BAIBOLO WAAMBA’MBA: “Mwana ye balekelela ulengesha bainanji bumvu.”—Byambo bya Maana 29:15.

Nangwa kya kuba bansemi kechi bafwainwa kuyanjishanga baana babo ne, bino bafwainwa kuchinuzhuka kulama baana butotwe. Buku wa kuba’mba The Price of Privilege waamba’mba: “Bansemi balama baana butotwe balengela baana babo kubula kuyuka kuba’mba bakulumpe mu kisemi bo baji na luusa.” Inge kechi mumwesha’mba yenu muji na luusa ne, mwanenu ukalangulukanga’mba ye uji na luusa pe anweba. Kino kikamulengela kubanga bintu bikamulengela aye mwine ne anweba kwikala na bulanda.—Byambo bya Maana 17:25; 29:21.

BAIBOLO WAAMBA’MBA: ‘Mwanamulume ukalamachila ku mukazhanji ne abo bakekala ke mubiji umo.’—Mateo 19:5.

Kwesakana na Baibolo, mwanamulume ne mwanamukazhi bafwainwa kwisongola saka bakyangye kwikala na baana, kabiji basema baana saka baji pamo kabiji bafwainwa kutwajijila kwikala pamo ne kimye baana kyo bakakoma ne kufuma pa nzubo. (Mateo 19:5, 6) Kino kibena kilumbulula’mba masongola o atendekelapo, bino baana balondelapo. Inge mwanemekesha mwanenu kukila benakwenu, mwanenu naye ‘ukalangulukanga kukila po afwainwa kwilangulukila.’ (Loma 12:3) Bansemi batatu muchima mwanabo, masongola abo kechi ekala bulongo ne.

Byakonsha Kukwasha Bansemi

Pa kuba’mba mwingile bulongo mwingilo wenu wa kukomesha baana, mwafwainwa kulondela ano mafunde pa kufunjisha baana benu.

Ikalai na butemwe. “Kange muzhingijishenga baana benu ne, pa kuba’mba babule kupopomenwa.”—Kolose 3:21.

Kwalauka alaukanga ne. “‘Ee’ wenu ekale ee, ne ‘Ine’ wenu ekale ine.”—Mateo 5:37.

Balangulukilaingako. “Nkakujimuna monka mo kyafwainwa.”—Yelemiya 30:11.a