UBebe bekatjhidelene khulu noyise. Amezwi la atjhiwo mumuntu amjayeleko ebekalinga ukumtjhiriya, kodwana uBebe amlimaza kunokobana amduduze. Bekasolo athi ehliziywenakhe, “Akunanto elungileko ngokufa kwakababa.” Ngemva kweminyaka kwenzekile lokhu, uBebe wakutlola encwadini ngasuthi kusanda ukwenzeka, okutjengisa ukuthi bekasamlilela uyise.

NjengoBebe, kuthatha isikhathi eside ukuthi umuntu aphole ebuhlungwini bokufelwa, khulukhulu nange umuntu loyo bekatjhidelene khulu nomufi. EBhayibhelini, ukufa kubizwa ngokuthi ‘sisitha sokugcina.’ (1 Korinte 15:26) Ukufa kusiqeda amandla, bekuthikazise nokuphila kwethu singakalindeli ngokusithathela abantu esibathandako, begodu akunamuntu ongakuvimba. Yeke akukafaneli sizirarekele nasingazi ukuthi kufuze siqalane njani nobuhlungu bokufelwa nemiphumela yakhona.

Mhlamunye uyazibuza: ‘Buthatha isikhathi eside kangangani ubuhlungu bokuhlongakalelwa mumuntu omthandako? Umuntu angaqalana njani nobuhlungu bokufelwa? Ngingabaduduza njani abanye abahlongakalelweko? Kghani abantu esibathandako sizokubuya sibabone na?’

Wakhe wagula isikhatjhana? Kungenzeka waphola msinya, mhlamunye sewulibele nokuthi wakhe wagula. Ubuhlungobo abufani nebokufelwa. UDorhodere u-Alan Wolfelt watlola encwadinakhe ethi Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart wathi: “Ubuhlungu bokufelwa abupholi.” Nakanabako uthi: “Ukukhamba kwesikhathi nokusekelwa babantu kuyabugongobalisa ubuhlungu bokufelwa.”

Ngokwesibonelo cabanga ngalokho okwenziwa ngu-Abrahamu ubaba wesitjhaba, nakahlongakalelwa mkakhe. IBhayibheli lithi, “u-Abrahamu wathoma ukulilela uSara.” Amagama athi “wathoma” aveza ukuthi wabuzwa isikhathi eside ubuhlungu bokufelwa.a Esinye isibonelo nguJakopo, owakhohliswa watjelwa ukuthi indodanakhe uJosefa ibulewe ziimbandana zommango. Wayililela “isikhathi eside,” kangangobana nomndenakhe wabhalelwa kumtjhiriya. Nangemva kweminyaka eembalwa, ukufa kwakaJosefa bekusolo kugandelela umkhumbulwakhe.—Genesisi 23:2; 37:34, 35; 42:36; 45:28.

Kunjalo nanamhlanjesi, kunabantu abanengi abasebuhlungwini bokufelwa mumuntu ebebamjayele khulu. Akhesikhulume nganapa abalandelako.

• “Indodakwami uRobert yahlongakala ngoJulayi 9, 2008. Ekuseni kwamhlokho nakuzakwenzeka ingozi embi le bekungakahluki kwamanye amalanga. Ngemva kokudla kwekuseni, wangicabuza, wangisingatha, ‘wangitjela nokuthi uyangithanda,’ okuyinto ebekahlala ayenza nakaya emsebenzini. Sekudlule iminyaka esithandathu yoke, kodwana ngisezwa ubuhlungu ehliziywenami. Ngicabanga bona ubuhlungu bokuhlongakalelwa nguRobert angekhe buphole.”—Kutjho uGail, oneminyaka eyi-60.

• “Ngitjho nanyana sekudlule iminyaka eyi-18 umkami ahlongakala, ngisamkhumbula begodu ngisamlilela bekube nje. Nangibona into ehle yemvelo engikarako, ngivele ngicabange ngaye, bese ngizibuze ukuthi bekazokuthabela na ukubona into engiyibonako le.”—Kutjho u-Etienne, oneminyaka eyi-84.

Kuyakhanya ukuthi ukuzwa ubuhlungu bokufelwa isikhathi eside yinto engokwemvelo. Omunye nomunye umuntu uqalana nobuhlungobu ngendlela yakhe, yeke akukafaneli bona sisole indlela umuntu azitjhiriya ngayo. Ngakelinye ihlangothi, akukafaneli sizisole ngokudluleleko nangabe sizwa ubuhlungu obukhulu. Alo, singaqalana njani nobuhlungu bokufelwa?

Kuneenluleko ezinengi ngendaba le. Kodwana akusizo zoke ezilisizo. Ngokwesibonelo, omunye angakukhuthaza ukuthi ungalili namkha uveze amazizwakho. Abanye bangakutjela ukuthi lila, ungawafihli amazizwakho. IBhayibheli ingakusiza ukuqale ngendlela elinganako lokho, njengombana isekela okutjhiwo barhubhululi besikhathi sanje.

Kanti kwamanye amasiko bathi indoda ayilili. Kghani kuyatlhogeka na ukuthi uzizwe uneenhloni zokulila phambi kwabantu? Izazi zengqondo ziyavuma ukuthi kuyinto ejayelekileko ukulila nawuhlongakalelweko. Ngokukhamba kwesikhathi, ukulila kungakusiza ukuthi uragele phambili nepilo naphezu kobudisi bokufelwa. Nanyana kunjalo, ukungafuni ukulila kungakulimaza kunokuthi kukusize. IBhayibheli aliyisekeli indaba yokuthi indoda ayilili. Ngokwesibonelo, cabanga ngoJesu. Nanyana bekanamandla wokuvusa abantu, wamlilela umnganakhe uLazaru phambi kwabantu.—Jwanisi 11:33-35.

Kanengi ukuba nehliziyo encani kubangelwa kulokha umuntu nakezwa ubuhlungu, khulukhulu nakahlongakalelwa angakalindeli. Kunamabanga amanengi wokuthi umuntu ohlongakalelweko akwate, njengokuthi umuntu ohloniphekileko atjho izinto angakacabangi. Indoda ibizo layo elinguMike yeSewula Afrika iyahluthulula, “Bengineminyaka eyi-14 ubaba nakahlongakalako, umfundisi we-Anglican wathi uZimu ubathatha msinyana abantu abalungileko.a Lokhu kwangiphatha kumbi ngombana besimtlhoga ubaba. Nje ngineminyaka eyi-63, kodwana lokho kusangilimaza.”

Kuthiwani ngokuzizwa umlandu? Endabeni yokuhlongakalelwa ungakalindeli, umuntu ohlongakalelweko angabalisela ngokuthi, ‘Bekungekhe kwenzeke ngathana akhenge ngenze lokhu namkha lokha.’ Mhlamunye nanibonana kokugcina nomufi naba nepikiswano. Lokhu kungangezelela emazizwenakho wokuthi uzizwe umlandu.

Nangabe uzizwa umlandu namkha ukwatile, kuqakathekile ukuthi ungavumeli amazizo anjalo akugandelele phasi. Kunalokho, khuluma nomngani ozokulalela, akuqinisekise ukuthi amazizo abuhlungu ajayelekile ebantwini abanengi abafelweko. IBhayibheli liyasikhumbuza ukuthi: “Umngani uhlala athembekile, iye, ungumfo obelethelwe iinkhathi ezibudisi.”—IzAga 17:17.

UJehova uZimu angaba Mngani omkhulu womuntu ohlongakalelweko. Mthululele ihliziywakho ngomthandazo ngombana ‘yena uyakukhathalela.’ (1 Pitrosi 5:7) Ngaphezu kwalokho, uthembisa ukuthi boke abenza njalo imicabangwabo namazizwabo kuzokuthotjwa “kuthula kwakaZimu okudlula koke ukuzwisisa.” (Filipi 4:6, 7) Godu, vumela uZimu akuthobe amanceba ngeliZwi lakhe eliduduzako, iBhayibheli. Zenzele irhelo lemitlolo ekududuzako. (Qala ibhoksi elisesihlokwenesi.) Mhlamunye ungathanda ukubamba eembalwa ngehloko. Ukucabanga ngamavesi lawo kungakusiza khulukhulu ebusuku nawuwedwa nalokha nawubhalelwa kulala.—Isaya 57:15.

Mva-nje, indoda ethileko eneminyaka eyi-40, ibizo layo elinguJack, yahlongakalelwa mkayo ngobulwelwe bekankere. UJack uthi ngezinye iinkhathi uzizwa anesizungu khulu. Kodwana umthandazo umsizile. Uyahlathulula, “Nangithandaza kuJehova isizungu asibi khona. Kanengi ebusuku vane ngiphilelwe. Ngemva kokufunda nokuzindla ngamezwi aduduzako asemTlolweni, ngikutjho koke okusehliziyweni ngomthandazo, umoyami uzole, ngizizwe nginokuthula bese ubuthongo buyafika.”

Ikosazana ibizo layo elinguVanessa yahlongakalelwa ngunina ngokugula. Naye wawabona amandla womthandazo. Uthi, “Nangiqalene neenkhathi ezibudisi, ngibiza ibizo lakaZimu bese iinyembezi ziyehla. UJehova uyayilalela imithandazwami, begodu uhlala angipha amandla engiwatlhogako.”

Abanye abaluleki bayelelisa labo abanobudisi bokuqalana nobuhlungu bokufelwa ngokuthi bazibandakanye ekusizeni abanye namkha banikele ngesikhathi sabo ukusiza umphakathi. Ukwenza njalo kungaletha ithabo begodu kungasiza umuntu ofelweko ukuthi aphole. (IzEnzo 20:35) AmaKrestu amanengi afelweko alemukile ukuthi ukusiza abanye kuwalethela induduzo ekulu.—2 Korinte 1:3, 4.

Wakhe wazizwa unganamandla lokha othileko otjhidelene naye ezwa ubuhlungu bokufelwa mumuntu amthandako? Ngezinye iinkhathi uphelelwa mamezwi, ungazi ukuthi uthini namkha wenzeni—bese uyathula ungenzi litho. Kodwana zikhona izinto elisizo ongazenza.

Into etlhogekako kukuthi ube khona utjho namezwi anjengokuthi, “ngizwelana nawe kilokho okukuveleleko.” Emasikweni amanengi, ukugona umuntu namkha umbambe isandla sakhe usiqinise, kuyindlela ehle yokutjengisa ukuthi uyamkhathelela. Nange umuntu ofelweko afuna ukukhuluma, mlalele ngokuzwelana naye. Okuhle khulu ongakwenzela umndeni ohlongakalelweko, kukubasiza ngomsebenzi abaqalene nawo, njengokupheka ukudla, ukutlhogomela abantwana, namkha usize ngamalungiselelo womngcwabo. Izenzo ezinjalo zingatjho okukhulu kunokutjho amezwi amanengi aduduzako.

Ngokukhamba kwesikhathi, mhlamunye ungakhuluma ngomufi, mhlambe udzimelele khulu ezintweni ezihle ebekazenza namkha ezithabisako. Ingcoco enjalo ingenza umuntu ohlongakalelweko amomotheke. Ngokwesibonelo, uPam owahlongakalelwa ngubabakwakhe, u-Ian, eminyakeni esithandathu edlulileko uthi: “Ngezinye iinkhathi abantu bangitjela ngezinto ezihle u-Ian azenzileko ebengingazi ngazo, begodu lokho kwenze ihliziywami ithabe.”

Abarhubhululi babika ukuthi abantu abanengi abafelweko bafumana isizo elinengi nabaqeda ukufelwa, kodwana ngokukhamba kwesikhathi abangani babo bayabakhohlwa, baragele phambili nepilo. Yeke, yenza umzamo wokunande umhlola qobe umnganakho ofelweko.a Abanengi abafelweko balithokoza khulu ithubeli lokutjho indlela abazizwa ngayo ngobuhlungu ababuzwako.

Cabanga ngoKaori, ikosazana eseseyitjha yeJapan eyezwa ubuhlungu obukhulu ngokuhlongakalelwa ngunina, okwathi ngemva kweenyanga eziyi-15, wahlongakalelwa ngudadwabo omdala. Okuthabisako kukuthi abangani bakhe bebamsekela. Omunye umma ibizo lakhe elinguRitsuko, omdala khulu kuKaori wambawa ukuthi abe mnganakhe. UKaori uthi, “Ukukhuluma iqiniso bengingakathabi ngalokho. Bengingafuni namunye athathe isikhundla sakamma, begodu azange ngithande nokucabanga ukuthi ukhona ongakwenza lokho. Nanyana kunjalo, ngebanga lendlela uMam’ Ritsuko angiphatha ngayo, ngazizwa ngitjhidelene naye khulu. Qobe veke, besikhamba soke emsebenzini wokutjhumayela besiye nemihlanganweni yobuKrestu ndawonye. Bekangimemela kwakhe ukuthi ngizokusela itiye, angilethela nokudla, begodu iinkhathi ezinengi wangitlolela iincwadi namakarada. Indlela ebekangikhuthaza ngayo uMam’ Ritsuko yaba nomthelela omuhle kimi.”

Sekudlule iminyaka elitjhumi nambili unina lakaKaori ahlongakala, namhlanjesi yena nobabakwakhe babatjhumayeli besikhathi esizeleko. UKaori uthi, “UMam’ Ritsuko usaragela phambili angitlhogomela. Nangibuyela ekhaya, ngihlala ngimvakatjhela bengithabele ubungani bakhe obakhako.”

Esinye isibonelo sothileko owazuza ngokuthi afumane isekelo eliragela phambili nguPoli, onguFakazi kaJehova eCyprus. UPoli bekanendoda enomusa, uSozos, obekasibonelo esihle somelusi omKrestu ngokuthi kanengi bameme iintandani nabafelokazi emzinabo bathabele ubungani nokudla. (Jakopo 1:27) Okudanisako, uSozos nakaneminyaka eyi-53 wabulawa liliqa ebelisebuqhotjheni. UPoli uthi, “Ngihlongakalelwe ngubabakwami othembekileko ebengitjhade naye iminyaka eyi-33.”

Ngemva komngcwabo, uPoli wafudukela eCanada nendodanakhe eseseyitjha, uDaniel eneminyaka eyi-15. Lapho, bathoma ukuya ebandleni laboFakazi BakaJehova. UPoli uyakhumbula, “Abangani bebandleni elitjha bebangazi litho ngobujamo bethu obubudisi besikhathi esidlulileko. Kodwana lokho akhange kubavimbele ukuthi beze kithi begodu basiduduze ngamezwabo anomusa nesizo esilitlhogako. Leli kwaba lisizo elihle kwamambala ngesikhathi indodanami itlhoga uyise! Labo abadosa phambili ebandleni batjengise ithando elikhulu kuDaniel. Ebebakwenza kukuthi nababutheneko namkha badlala ibholo, bathathe uDaniel bakhambe naye.” Umma nendodanakhe baraga kuhle bekube kunamhlanjesi.

Eqinisweni, kunendlela ezinengi esingasiza ngazo nokududuza labo abahlongakalelwe babantu ababathandako. Godu iBhayibheli lisiduduza ngengomuso elithabisako elizako.

Khumbula uGail, okukhulunywe ngaye emlandelandeni lo. Asingabazi ukuthi ukghonile ukuqalana nokufa kwakababakwakhe. Nanyana kunjalo, uqale phambili ukubona uRobert godu ephasini elitjha elithenjiswe nguZimu. Uthi, “umtlolo engiwuthandako ngewesAmbulo 21:3, 4.” Uthi: “UZimu ngokwakhe uzakuba nabo abe nguZimu wabo. Uzokwesula zoke iinyembezi emehlwenabo. Ukufa angekhe kusaba khona, ngitjho nokulila nobuhlungu angekhe kusaba khona ngombana izinto zokuthoma zidlulile.”

UGail uthi: “Isithembiswesi sitjho koke. Ngizwelana nabantu abahlongakalelwe babantu ababathandako kodwana abangalemuki ukuthi bangabuye bababone.” UGail wenza ngokuvumelana neenkolelo zakhe ngokunizinikela ngokuzithandela emsebenzini wokutjhumayela isikhathi esizeleko, ngokucocela abomakhelwana bakhe ngesithembiso sakaZimu sangomuso lapho “ukufa kungekhe kusaba khona.”

Ungatjho ukuthi ‘lokhu akukholweki!’ Kodwana cabanga ngendoda enguJobho. Beyigula khulu. (Jobho 2:7) Nanyana uJobho bekafisa ngathana bekafile, bekakholelwa ukuthi uZimu uzomvusela ephasini godu ngamandlakhe. Ngokuqiniseka wathi: “Inga ungangifihla endaweni yabafileko, . . . Bewuzakubiza, mina ngikuphendule, ngombana ulangazelela imisebenzi yezandla zakho.” (Jobho 14:13, 15) UJobho bekaqiniseka ukuthi uZimakhe uzomkhumbula begodu uzokulangazelela ukumbuyisela ekuphileni godu.

Ngilokho uZimu azokwenza msinyana—kuJobho nakabanye abanengi—lokha iphaseli nalitjhugululwa libe yipharadesi. (Lukasi 23:42, 43) IBhayibheli liyakufakazela lokhu kuzEnzo 24:15 ezithi, “Kuzakuba khona ukuvuka kwabafileko.” NoJesu naye uyasiqinisekisa nakathi, “Ningarareki ngalokhu; siyeza isikhathi lapha boke abasemalibeni bazalizwa ilizwi layo.” (Jwanisi 5:28, 29) UJobho uzokubona ukuzaliseka kwesithembiswesi. Uzokubuyela ebusokaneni ‘umzimbakhe uzakwenziwa butjha ube ngaphezu kwebutjheni bakhe, uzakuphuluka abe namandla wobutjha.’ (Job 33:24, 25) Ngokufanako lokhu kuzokwenzeka nakilabo abamukela ilungiselelo lakaZimu lomusa lokuvusela abantu ekuphileni.

Nangabe uqalane nobudisi bokuhlongakalelwa mumuntu omthandako, esicoce ngakho kungenzeka akubususi ngokupheleleko ubuhlungu bakho bokufelwa. Kodwana ngokuzindla ngeenthembiso eziseBhayibhelini, ungaba nethemba lamambala namandla azokwenza uragele phambili nepilo.—1 Thesalonika 4:13.

Ungathanda na ukufunda okunabileko ngendlela ongaqalana ngayo nobuhlungu bokufelwa? Namkha uneminye imibuzo ekhambisana nalo, othi “Kubayini UZimu avumela ubumbi nomtlhago?” Sibawa uvakatjhele izinzolwazi lethu ku-jw.org, ubone indlela iBhayibheli eliduduza, neliphendula ngayo imibuzo le.