Nomata Divorce Iu Savve Hapi

Samfala pipol tingse wei for divorce bae mekem laef bilong olketa kamap gud. Olketa narawan no laek for divorce bat olketa no savve stopem hasband or waef for lusim olketa. Staka wea divorce faendem laef hem hard winim wanem olketa tingim. Sapos iu divorce no longtaem go nomoa, maet iu faendem datwan hem barava hard samting. So bae hem gud for tingim samfala advaes long Bible wea savve helpem iu for deal witim olketa hard samting taem iu divorce.

FIRST SAMTING: WEI FOR FEEL NOGUD.

Olketa wea divorce savve wari tumas abaotem selen, for lukaftarem pikinini seleva, and for stap seleva. Olketa savve gohed for wari for longtaem. Doctor Judith Wallerstein sei samfala wea divorce gohed for feel nogud for staka year, and olketa sei olketa “lonely, sorre, and laef hem hard tumas.”

WANEM IU SAVVE DUIM

• Iu savve sorre long wanem hem happen. Maet iu gohed for misstim hasband or waef wea iu lovem tumas. Taem iutufala marit maet iutufala no stap gud, bat iu savve sorre bikos iu no laekem marit bilong iu for olsem. (Proverbs 5:18) Hem olraet for showimaot feeling bilong iu and for krae.—Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4.

• No stap seleva. Long firstaem, iu maet laek for stap seleva bat hem nogud for stap seleva olowe. (Proverbs 18:1) Storyim olketa gud samting witim olketa fren bilong iu, bikos wei for komplen evritaem abaotem marit partner bilong iu bifor bae gogo mekem olketa fren les for lisin long iu. Sapos iu mas disaedem olketa important samting bihaen iu divorce, askem samwan wea iu trustim for helpem iu.

• Stap healthy. Samwan wea divorce savve wari tumas. From datwan, hem savve garem problem saed long health, olsem for garem hed soa or hae blood. So mas kaikai gud, exercise, and rest gud.—Ephesus 5:29.

• No keepim samting wea savve mekem iu gohed for kros long marit partner bilong iu bifor or wea iu no needim, bat keepim olketa important pepa. Sapos samting olsem wedding piksa savve mekem iu feel sorre tumas, putim long box and keepim gud for olketa pikinini.

• No ting daonem iuseleva. Olga wea divorcem hasband from hem duim adultery, hem sei: “Mi gohed for tingim, ‘Why nao hem laekem nara woman winim mi?’” Gogo Olga luksavve sapos hem gohed ting daonem hemseleva datwan savve spoelem hem.—Proverbs 18:14.

  Samfala pipol raetem daon feeling bilong olketa. Datwan helpem olketa for garem klia tingting abaotem samting wea happen. Sapos iu duim olsem, no raetem nomoa nogud samting abaotem iuseleva bat raetem daon samting wea savve helpem iu for winim nogud feeling wea iu garem. (Ephesus 4:23) Tingim tufala example:

  Old tingting: Wei bilong mi nao mekem marit partner bilong mi for lusim mi.

  Niu tingting: Hem no stret for marit partner bilong mi bifor for lusim mi from hem no laekem samfala wei bilong mi.

  Old tingting: Mi weistim laef bilong mi witim rong man.

  Niu tingting: Bae mi hapi sapos mi tingim future bilong mi and no gohed tingim samting wea happen.

• No warim toktok wea savve spoelem iu. Samfala fren or relative maet talem samting wea mekem iu feel nogud or wea no fitim tingting bilong iu. Maet olketa sei: ‘Hem gud nao hem go bikos hem barava no fitim iu’ or ‘God heitim wei for divorce.’b Bat Bible givim gudfala advaes abaotem diswan. Hem sei: “No warim tumas olketa toktok wea pipol savve talem.” (Ecclesiastes 7:21) Martina wea divorce for tufala year finis, hem sei: “Winim wei for tingim olowe olketa toktok wea mekem mi feel nogud, mi traem best for garem tingting bilong God abaotem olketa samting wea happen long laef bilong mi. Mi savve tingting bilong God hem hae winim tingting bilong iumi.”—Isaiah 55:8, 9.

• Prea long God. God talem olketa wea worshipim hem for ‘putim evri wari bilong olketa long hand bilong hem,’ especially taem olketa kasem bigfala hevi.—1 Peter 5:7.

MEK-TU SAMTING: TAEM IU MAS STORY WITIM MARIT PARTNER BILONG IU BIFOR.

Juliana, wea divorce bihaen hem marit for 11 year hem sei: “Mi barava askem hasband bilong mi for no lusim mi. Bat bihaen hem go and stap witim nara woman, mi barava kros long tufala.” Staka wea divorce savve gohed kros for staka year long marit partner wea lusim olketa. Bat tufala maet need for story evritaem, especially sapos tufala garem pikinini.

WANEM IU SAVVE DUIM

• Story gud witim marit partner wea lusim iu. Storyim important samting nomoa and no story longtaem. Staka sei wei for story olsem savve mekem olketa no raoa.—Rome 12:18.

• No talem toktok wea savve mekem raoa kamap. Taem iu luksavve maet raoa bae kamap, hem gud for tingim wanem Bible talem: “Man wea no kwiktaem for toktok hem garem gudfala tingting.” (Proverbs 17:27) Sapos iutufala no savve agree long samting, maet iu savve sei: “Mi laek for ting raonem datwan firstaem, then bae iumi tufala story moa.”

• Divaedem olketa samting wea iutufala sharem bifor, olsem bank account and olketa nara legal samting.

MEK-THRI SAMTING: HELPEM PIKININI FOR DEAL WITIM SAMTING WEA HAPPEN.

Maria storyim samting wea happen bihaen hem divorce. Hem sei: “Smol gele bilong mi gohed for krae and start for mimi long bed moa. And nomata big gele bilong mi trae for haedem feeling bilong hem, mi luksavve hem barava change.” Sorre samting nao, maet iu feel olsem iu no garem taem and strong for helpem olketa pikinini bilong iu long taem wea olketa barava laekem iu for helpem olketa.

WANEM IU SAVVE DUIM

• Encouragem olketa pikinini bilong iu for storyim tingting bilong olketa abaotem samting wea happen, nomata maet luk olsem olketa no savve kontrolem toktok bilong olketa.—Job 6:2, 3.

• Luksavve long wanem pikinini fit for duim. Maet iu barava needim samwan for story witim and pikinini bilong iu maet willing for lisin, bat hem no stret for pikinini deal witim problem bilong dadi or mami. (1 Corinth 13:11) No storyim problem bilong iu long pikinini or iusim pikinini for go story for iu long hasband or waef bilong iu bifor.

• Gohed duim olketa samting wea famili duim evritaem. Hem gud sapos iu and olketa pikinini savve stap long sem haos and for followim sem schedule. Bat hem important for gohed duim olketa spiritual samting, olsem Bible reading and famili worship.—Deuteronomy 6:6-9.

Nomata iu divorce, iu savve hapi. Melissa, wea marit for 16 year hem sei taem hem divorce, “Mi nating laekem laef bilong mi for olsem.” Nomata olsem, distaem hem traem best for hapi. Hem sei moa, “Taem mi luksavve mi no savve changem samting wea happen finis, datwan helpem mi for garem stret tingting.”