Showimaot Love and Respect Long Wei for Kontrolem Tongue Bilong Iu
“Each wan long iufala mas lovem waef bilong hem olsem hemseleva; long narasaed, waef mas garem bigfala respect for hasband bilong hem.”—EPHESIANS 5:33.
1, 2. Wanem important kwestin nao evriwan wea marit shud askem olketa seleva, and why nao olsem?
TINGIM sapos iu kasem wanfala present wea olketa pasolem wea garem disfala toktok long hem: “Mas Holem Gud.” Hao nao bae iu ting long datfala present? For sure, iu bae barava holem gud mekem iu no brekem datwan. Sapos olsem, hao nao bae iu ting long marit wea hem wanfala present?
2 Datfala Israelite widow woman Naomi, hem sei olsem long tufala young woman Orpah and Ruth: “Jehovah nao bae givim present long iufala, and iufala mas faendem wanfala ples for rest, each wan insaed haos bilong hasband bilong hem.” (Ruth 1:3-9) Bible hem sei olsem abaotem wanfala gud waef: “Olketa dadi givim haos and riches, bat Jehovah nao givim waef wea wise.” (Proverbs 19:14) Sapos iu marit, iu need for ting long partner bilong iu olsem wanfala present from God. So waswe, iu lukaftarem datfala present wea God givim long iu?
3. Wanem kaonsel nao Paul givim wea olketa hasband and waef shud followim?
3 Aposol Paul hem raet olsem long olketa Christian long first century: “Each wan long iufala mas lovem waef bilong hem olsem hemseleva; long narasaed, waef mas garem bigfala respect for hasband bilong hem.” (Ephesians 5:33) Tingim wei wea olketa hasband and waef savve followim disfala kaonsel saed long toktok bilong olketa.
Keakea Long “Wanfala Barava Nogud Samting”
4. Hao nao tongue savve kamap gud samting or nogud samting?
4 James wea raetem Bible hem talem hao tongue bilong man hem “wanfala barava nogud samting wea fulap witim poison wea savve killim man dae.” (James 3:8) James hem luksavve long disfala barava tru samting: Tongue wea man no savve kontrolem savve spoelem plande samting. For sure hem savve long datfala proverb long Bible wea markem toktok bilong man wea no tingting gud firstaem witim “sword wea katem man.” Bat datfala sem proverb talem hao “tongue bilong olketa man wea wise savve healim man.” (Proverbs 12:18) Tru nao, toktok bilong man savve barava affectim narawan. Hem savve katem man olsem wanfala sword, or hem savve healim man. So hao nao samting wea iu talem hem affectim marit partner bilong iu? Sapos iu askem diswan long partner bilong iu, wanem nao bae hem sei?
5, 6. Why nao hem no isi for samfala pipol for kontrolem tongue bilong olketa?
5 Sapos hem wei bilong iu or marit partner bilong iu for iusim nogud toktok long each other, iu savve duim samting for stretem datwan. Bat iu mas waka hard for duim datwan. Why nao olsem? Wanfala reason hem bikos iumi no perfect. Wei wea iumi born witim sin savve affectim hao iumi ting long each other and hao iumi story long each other. James hem raet olsem: “Sapos wanfala man no enitaem talem samting wea no stret, hem wanfala perfect man wea fit for kontrolem tu full body bilong hem.”—James 3:2.
6 Nara samting wea affectim wei wea iumi iusim tongue hem famili wea iumi growap insaed. Samfala pipol growap insaed famili wea parents “no savve agree, . . . no savve kontrolem seleva, [and] raf tumas.” (2 Timothy 3:1-3) Plande taem, olketa pikinini wea kam from kaen famili olsem savve showimaot semkaen fasin olsem parents taem olketa kamap full grown. Bat wei wea iumi no perfect or famili wea iumi growap insaed, hem no excuse for talem nogud toktok. Nomata olsem, wei for luksavve long olketa samting hia hem helpem iumi for minim why nao hem no isi for samfala pipol for kontrolem tongue bilong olketa for no talem olketa nogud samting.
‘Lusim Evrikaen Wei for Tok Nogud Long Narawan’
7. Wanem nao Peter minim taem hem kaonselem olketa Christian for “lusim . . . evrikaen wei for tok nogud long narawan”?
7 Nomata wanem nao mekem man iusim nogud toktok insaed long marit, maet datwan showimaot man no lovem and respectim partner bilong hem. Dastawe Peter garem gudfala reason for kaonselem olketa Christian for “lusim . . . evrikaen wei for tok nogud long narawan.” (1 Peter 2:1) Greek word wea olketa transleitim “tok nogud” hem minim wei for “barava tok daonem narawan.” Hem olsem man ‘sutim narawan witim toktok.’ Datfala toktok showimaot klia hao tongue wea man no savve kontrolem hem barava affectim narawan!
8, 9. Wanem nao savve happen taem man barava tok daonem narawan, and why nao olketa wea marit shud stap klia long wei for duim olsem?
8 Maet man tingse wei for barava tok daonem narawan hem no serious samting. Bat tingim wanem savve happen taem hasband or waef iusim olketa nogud toktok olsem. Wei wea man kolem partner bilong hem krangge, lesy, or selfish, hem olsem hem sei hem no garem eni gudfala fasin nao! Diswan barava no showimaot love. And waswe long olketa toktok wea ova tumas for mekhae long wik point bilong marit partner? Olketa kaen toktok olsem: “Iu nating followim toktok bilong mi” or “Iu nating savve helpem mi” hem really ova tumas nao! Datwan bae mekem marit partner laek talem nogud samting tu. And gogo, maet datwan nao mekem wanfala big raoa kamap.—James 3:5.
9 Wei for evritaem talem toktok wea daonem narawan hem mekem nogud feeling kamap insaed long marit, and diswan tu savve lead go long nogud samting bihaen. Proverbs 25:24 hem sei: “Hem moabeta for man stap aotsaed winim wei for stap insaed long haos witim waef wea toktok tumas.” Tru nao, diswan hem semsem tu witim hasband wea toktok tumas. Gogo, wei wea hasband or waef talem nogud toktok bae isisi spoelem wei for fren, and maet hem mekem hasband or waef feel olsem partner bilong hem no lovem hem or hem hard for eniwan lovem hem. Tru tumas, hem important for kontrolem tongue bilong iumi. Bat hao nao iumi savve duim diswan?
“Kontrolem Tongue”
10. Why nao hem important for kontrolem tongue?
10 James 3:8 hem sei: “No eniwan long olketa man savve kontrolem tongue.” Nomata olsem, iumi shud trae hard for kontrolem tongue bilong iumi. “Sapos eni man hem ting long hemseleva olsem man for worshipim God bat hem no kontrolem tongue bilong hem and hem gohed for giamanim heart bilong hemseleva, worship bilong disfala man hem iusles.” (James 1:26; 3:2, 3) Disfala toktok showimaot hao wei wea iu iusim tongue bilong iu, hem wanfala serious samting. Hem no affectim partner bilong iu nomoa, bat hem barava affectim wei wea iu fren witim Jehovah God.—1 Peter 3:7.
11. Hao nao hasband and waef savve stopem wei for no agree long wanfala samting for kamap wanfala big raoa?
11 Careful long hao iu story witim partner bilong iu. Sapos luk olsem raoa bae kamap, trae for stopem datwan. Tingim wanfala samting wea happen insaed laef bilong Isaac and waef bilong hem, Rebekah, wea iumi readim long Genesis 27:46–28:4. “Rebekah hem gohed for sei long Isaac: ‘Mi barava heitim laef bilong mi bikos long olketa dota bilong Heth. Sapos Jacob hem tekem wanfala waef from olketa dota bilong Heth olsem olketa hia wea kam from disfala land, hem moabeta for mi dae nomoa!’ ” No eni samting showimaot Isaac talem nogud toktok long Rebekah. Bat hem sendem son bilong tufala, Jacob, for faendem wanfala waef wea fraet long God and wea bae no mekem Rebekah barava feel sorre. Tingim sapos hasband and waef no agree long wanfala samting. For stopem datwan for kamap wanfala big raoa, hem moabeta for storyim problem nomoa winim wei for blamem partner. Olsem example, winim wei for sei, “Iu nating spendem taem witim olketa pikinini!” hem moabeta for sei, “Bae hem gud tumas for iumi spendem moa taem witim olketa pikinini.” Story tugeta abaotem datfala problem nomoa and no blamem narawan. Stap klia long wei for tingim hu nao duim stret samting and hu nao duim rong samting. Romans 14:19 hem sei: “Aftarem olketa samting for mekem peace and olketa samting for buildimap narawan.”
Lusim “Wei for Barava Feel Nogud and Kros”
12. For kontrolem tongue bilong iumi, iumi shud prea for wanem, and why nao olsem?
12 Wei for kontrolem tongue bilong iumi no minim iumi mas careful long wanem iumi talem nomoa. For tok stret, samting wea iumi talem hem showimaot wanem nao really tingting and feeling insaed heart bilong iumi. Jesus hem sei: “Gudfala man givim kam gud samting from heart bilong hem, bat nogud man givim kam nogud samting from heart bilong hem; from samting wea fulap long heart nao kamaot long mouth bilong hem.” (Luke 6:45) Dastawe, for kontrolem tongue bilong iu, maet iu need for prea olsem David: “O God, mekem mi garem klinfala heart, and mekem mi garem gudfala fasin wea savve mekem mi stand strong.”—Psalm 51:10.
13. Hao nao wei for barava feel nogud and kros savve mekem man talem nogud toktok?
13 Paul encouragem olketa long Ephesus for lusim nogud toktok, and tu, feeling wea muvim man for talem kaen samting olsem. Hem raet olsem: “Aotem from iufala evri wei for barava feel nogud and kros and fasin for singaot and tok spoelem narawan witim evri nogud fasin.” (Ephesians 4:31) Lukim hao Paul storyim “wei for barava feel nogud and kros” firstaem, and then hem storyim “fasin for singaot and tok spoelem narawan.” Hem kros insaed long man nao wea savve mekem hem talem nogud toktok. So askem iuseleva olsem: ‘Waswe, mi keepim kros insaed heart bilong mi? Waswe, mi “garem fasin for kros tumas”?’ (Proverbs 29:22) Sapos iu nao garem fasin olsem, prea long God for helpem iu lusim datkaen fasin and for garem fasin for kontrolem iuseleva mekem iu no talem nogud samting. Psalm 4:4 hem sei: “Iu savve feel nogud bat iu mas no sin. Talemaot feeling bilong iu insaed heart bilong iu, long bed bilong iu, and stap kwaet.” Sapos iu feel kros and iu tingse bae iu no savve kontrolem iuseleva, followim disfala kaonsel long Proverbs 17:14: “Bifor raoa hem kamap, iu go nao.” Hem gud for lusim datfala ples for lelebet taem go kasem taem kros bilong iu hem katdaon.
14. Hao nao wei for keepim kros savve affectim marit?
14 Hem no isi for deal witim kros, especially taem datwan hem kam from “wei for barava feel nogud” wea Paul storyim. Greek word wea Paul iusim hem minim “feeling for kros and barava les for mek peace” and ‘feeling for heit wea mekem man tingim olowe mistek bilong narawan.’ Samfala taem, wei wea hasband and waef feel nogud long each other hem olsem wanfala strong wall, and hem samting wea maet stap for longfala taem. Wei for no kea long feeling bilong narawan savve kamap sapos tufala no barava stretem problem. Bat wei for keepim kros hem iusles samting nomoa. Iumi kanduit changem samting wea happen finis. Taem man forgivim partner bilong hem for rong wea hem duim, hem shud no tingim moa datfala samting. Love “no tingim olowe rong wea samwan duim.”—1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.
15. Wanem nao bae helpem olketa wea iusim raf toktok for changem wei bilong olketa?
15 Waswe sapos iu growap insaed famili wea evriwan tok raf long each other, and hem wei bilong iu for iusim kaen toktok olsem? Iu savve duim samting for changem wei bilong iu. Wei wea iu disaed finis for markem samfala standard saed long fasin hem stopem iu for no duim samting wea no stret. Bat wanem standard nao bae iu markem saed long toktok bilong iu? Waswe, bae iu stop bifor iu talem nogud samting? Hem gud for markem standard wea Ephesians 4:29 storyim: “No letem eni rabis toktok kamaot from mouth bilong iufala.” For duim diswan iu need for “aotem oldfala fasin witim olketa wei bilong hem, and werem olsem kaleko datfala niu fasin, wea thru long stretfala savve hem gohed for kamap niu fitim image bilong Datwan wea creatim hem.”—Colossians 3:9, 10.
Hem Barava Important for “Story Gud Tugeta”
16. Hao nao wei for no laek story witim marit partner savve spoelem marit?
16 Taem hasband and waef no laek for story witim each other, no eni gud samting savve kamaot from datwan. Samfala taem maet man duim diswan for panisim partner bilong hem or maet hem savve duim diswan from nogud feeling or hem feel wikdaon. Bat wei for no laek story witim each other hem mekem nogud feeling kamap moa worse and no stretem datfala problem. Olsem wanfala waef hem talem: “Nomata taem mitufala start for story moa, mitufala nating story tugeta for stretem datfala problem.”
17. Wanem nao olketa Christian shud duim taem olketa kasem problem insaed marit?
17 Hem no isi for stretem problem wea gohed midolwan long hasband and waef. Proverbs 15:22 hem sei: “Olketa plan savve kamap nogud sapos wei for story gud tugeta hem nomoa, bat gud samting savve kamap taem plande pipol story tugeta.” Iu need for markem taem for iu and partner bilong iu for sidaon tugeta and story abaotem datfala problem. Then lisin long partner bilong iu and no kwiktaem judgem hem. Sapos luk olsem datwan hem hard for duim, askem help from olketa elder insaed long Christian kongregeson. Olketa garem savve long Bible and savve hao for followim olketa Bible principle. Olketa brata hia “olsem wanfala ples for haed from wind and wanfala ples for haed from bigfala rain.”—Isaiah 32:2.
Iu Savve Win for Kontrolem Tongue
18. Wanem nao hard samting wea Paul storyim long Romans 7:18-23?
18 Hem no isi for kontrolem tongue bilong iumi, and hem no isi for kontrolem wanem iumi duim tu. Aposol Paul storyim hard samting wea hem feisim taem hem raet olsem: “Mi savve insaed long mi no eni gud samting hem stap; from mi laek for duim gud samting, bat mi no savve duim datfala gud samting. Gud samting wea mi laek for duim, mi no duim, bat nogud samting wea mi no laek for duim, hem nao mi gohed for duim. So sapos samting wea mi no laek for duim hem nao wanem mi duim, datwan wea duim diswan hem no mi, bat sin wea stap insaed long mi.” From ‘law bilong sin hem insaed long iumi,’ hem no isi for kontrolem tongue bilong iumi and olketa narafala part bilong body. (Romans 7:18-23) Nomata olsem, iumi mas winim disfala problem—and iumi savve duim diswan witim help from God.
19, 20. Hao nao example bilong Jesus savve helpem olketa hasband and waef for kontrolem tongue bilong olketa?
19 Olketa hasband and waef wea garem love and respect for each other nating iusim toktok wea raf and no tingim feeling. Tingim example bilong Jesus Christ saed long diswan. Jesus nating iusim toktok for daonem olketa disaepol bilong hem. Nomata long lastfala naet bifor hem dae and olketa aposol bilong hem gohed for raoa abaotem hu nao nambawan, Son bilong God nating tok kros long olketa. (Luke 22:24-27) Bible givim kaonsel olsem: “Olketa hasband, gohed for lovem waef bilong iufala, olsem Christ tu hem lovem kongregeson and givim laef bilong hem for datwan.”—Ephesians 5:25.
20 Bat waswe saed long waef? Hem “mas garem bigfala respect for hasband bilong hem.” (Ephesians 5:33) Waswe, bae wanfala waef wea respectim hasband bilong hem singaot long hem and talem nogud toktok long hem? Paul hem raet olsem: “Mi laekem iufala for savve hed bilong evri man hem Christ; hed bilong woman hem man; hed bilong Christ hem God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3) Olketa waef mas stap anda long hed bilong olketa olsem Christ hem stap anda long Hed bilong hem. (Colossians 3:18) Nomata man no savve followim Jesus long perfect wei, wei wea olketa hasband and waef traem best for “followim [Jesus] long klos wei” bae helpem olketa win for kontrolem tongue.—1 Peter 2:21.
Wanem Nao Iu Lanem?
• Hao nao wei for no kontrolem tongue savve spoelem marit?
• Why nao hem no isi for kontrolem tongue?
• Wanem nao helpem iumi for kontrolem toktok bilong iumi?
• Wanem nao iu shud duim taem iu kasem olketa problem insaed marit?
[Piksa long page 8]
Olketa elder savve givim help from Bible