Indlela Yekuhlela Umshado Lophumelelako

1, 2. (a) Jesu wakugcizelela njani kubaluleka kwekuhlela? (b) Nguyiphi intfo ledzinga kuhlela lokukahle?

KUTE umuntfu akhe indlu, kudzingeka ahlele kahle. Ngembikwekutsi ubeke sisekelo sayo, kufanele ucale utfole indzawo lotawukwakha kuyo, futsi udvwebe nelipulane. Nanobe kunjalo, kunalokutsite lokubalulekile. Jesu watsi: “Ngubani emkhatsini wenu longatsi afuna kwakha sitezi lesikhulu, angahlali phansi kucala, abale tindleko, abukisise kutsi unayo yini imali leyenele kutsi angasicedza lesitezi?”​—Lukha 14:28.

² Lentfo lebalulekile nawakha indlu, ibalulekile nalapho ufuna kwakha umshado lophumelelako. Bantfu labanyenti batsi: “Ngifuna kushada.” Kodvwa bangakhi kubo labacale babale tindleko? Nanobe liBhayibheli likhuluma kahle ngemshado, liphindze likhulume nangebumatima lobutfolakala kuwo. (Taga 18:22; 1 Khorinte 7:28) Ngako-ke, labo labafuna kushada, kufanele batati kahle tibusiso kanye nebumatima bekushada.

3. Kungani liBhayibheli lilithulusi lelilusito kulabo labahlela kushada, futsi litawusisita kutsi siphendvule miphi imibuto lemitsatfu?

³ LiBhayibheli lingakusita. Lineteluleko letiphefumulelwe nguMsunguli wemshado, Nkulunkulu Jehova. (Efesu 3:14, 15; 2 Thimothi 3:16) Sisebentisa timiso letitfolakala encwadzini yasendvulo lesasebenta nalamuhla, asesihlole kutsi (1) Umuntfu angati njani kutsi sewukulungele kushada? (2) Yini lokufanele umuntfu ayibuke kumuntfu lafuna kushada naye? kanye nekutsi (3) Kuganana kungagcinwa njani kuhloniphekile?

SEWUKULUNGELE YINI KUSHADA?

4. Nguyiphi intfo lebaluleke kakhulu leyenta umshado uphumelele, futsi kungani?

⁴ Kudulile kwakha indlu, futsi kudulile nekuyinakekela. Kuyafanana nangemshado. Kungase kubonakale shengatsi sento sekushada ngiso kuphela lesibalulekile, kodvwa kufanele kucatjangisiswe nangekunakekela buhlobo lobukhona emshadweni. Kuhlanganisani kunakekela lobuhlobo? Intfo lebaluleke kakhulu kutinikela ngenhlitiyo yonkhe. LiBhayibheli libuchaza ngalendlela buhlobo bemshado: “Ngako-ke indvodza iyawushiya uyise nenina inamatsele kumfati wayo, bese baba nyamanye.” (Genesisi 2:24.) Jesu Khristu wasiniketa sizatfu lesisodvwa kuphela lesingekwemBhalo lesingenta umuntfu adivose futsi aphindze ashade​—leso sizatfu ‘kuphinga,’ lokusho kuya ecasini nalomunye umuntfu longakashadi naye. (Matewu 19:9) Nangabe ufuna kushada, kufanele ukhumbule letimiso letingekwemBhalo. Kodvwa nangabe ungakatimiseli kutibopha ngalendlela, kusho kutsi awukakulungeli kushada.​—Dutheronomi 23:21; Umshumayeli 5:4, 5.

5. Nanobe kutibopha kubesabisa labanye, kungani labo labafuna kushada kufanele bakutsatse njengalokubalulekile?

⁵ Ligama lelitsi kutibopha lenta bantfu labanyenti bangenwe ngemanti emadvolweni. Lelinye lijaha lavuma: “Kwati kutsi besesitawuba ndzawonye kuphila kwetfu konkhe, kwangenta ngativa ngivalelekile, ngingakwati kuphefumula, futsi nginjengesiboshwa.” Nanobe kunjalo, nangabe umtsandza mbamba umuntfu lofuna kushada naye, kutibopha kuye angeke kube ngumtfwalo. Kunaloko utawukutsatsa njengesivikelo. Kutibopha emshadweni kutawukwenta bantfu labashadile bafune kuhlala ndzawonye ngetikhatsi letimnandzi kanye naletibuhlungu, futsi batawusekelana ngisho nobe kwentekani. Umphostoli Pawula watsi lutsandvo lweliciniso “lubeketelela tintfo tonkhe” futsi “lukhutsatelela tintfo tonkhe.” (1 Khorinte 13:4, 7) Lomunye wesifazane watsi: “Kutibopha lokuba semshadweni kungenta ngitive ngilondzekile. Ngiyajabula ngekutsi savuma embikwebantfu kutsi sifuna kuba ndzawonye.”​—Umshumayeli 4:9-12.

6. Kungani kuncono kungagijimeli kushada usemncane?

⁶ Kute umuntfu akwati kuphila ngekuvumelana nekutibopha lokunjalo, kufanele avutfwe. Kungako Pawula atsi emaKhristu enta kahle kulindza kute kube ngulapho sekwendlule ‘sikhatsi sekwehlulwa yinkhanuko,’ lokusikhatsi lapho inkhanuko inemandla lamakhulu khona, futsi ingase isente singehluleli kahle. (1 Khorinte 7:36) Bantfu labasha bayashintja njengobe bakhula. Bantfu labanyenti labaye bashada basebancane kakhulu batfola kutsi ngemuva kweminyaka lembalwa tidzingo netifiso tabo, kanye naleto temuntfu labashade naye, setishintjile. Luhlolo luveta kutsi bantfu labashada basebancane kakhulu basematfubeni lamakhulu ekutsi bangajabuli emshadweni futsi badivose, kwendlula labo labashada sebakhulile. Ngako-ke, ungakugijimeli kushada. Iminyaka loyicitsa njengemuntfu losemusha kanye nanjengemuntfu lomdzala longakashadi ingakuniketa lokuhlangenwe nako lokuligugu lokutawukwenta ube ngumuntfu lovutsiwe futsi lofanelekako nasewushadile. Kulindza ngembikwekutsi ushade kutawukusita kutsi utati kancono​—lokuyintfo lebalulekile ekwakheni umshado lophumelelako.

TATI WENA KUCALA

7. Kungani kufanele labo labafuna kushada batihlole bona kucala?

⁷ Ukutfola kumelula yini kusho timfanelo lotifuna kumuntfu lotawushada naye? Labanye bakutfola kunjalo. Kodvwa kutsiwani ngetetfu timfanelo? Ngutiphi timfanelo letinhle lonato letitawukusita ekwenteni umshado wakho uphumelele? Utawuba yindvodza nobe umfati lonjani? Nasi sibonelo: Uyawavuma yini emaphutsa akho futsi wemukele neseluleko, nobe uhlale utivikela nawelulekwa? Ungumuntfu lojabulako yini futsi lonelitsemba, nobe uhlale uphatseke kabi futsi ukhonona ngaso sonkhe sikhatsi? (Taga 8:33; 15:15) Kufanele ukhumbule kutsi umshado angeke ubushintje buntfu bakho. Nangabe ungumuntfu lotigabatisako, losheshe atsintseke, nobe lote litsemba utawuba njalo ngisho sewushadile. Njengobe kumatima kutibona ngendlela labanye labasibona ngayo, kungani ungaceli umtali wakho nobe umngani lometsembako kutsi akutjele loko yena lakucabangako ngawe? Nangabe utfola kutsi kukhona lapho kufanele ulungise khona, tsatsa sinyatselo ngembikwekutsi ushade.

8-10. Ngusiphi seluleko seliBhayibheli lesingasita umuntfu ngamunye awulungele kahle umshado?

⁸ LiBhayibheli lisikhutsata kutsi sivumele umoya longcwele waNkulunkulu usebente kitsi, uvete timfanelo ‘letinjengelutsandvo, injabulo, kuthula, kubeketela, bubele, kulunga, kwetsembeka, kutfobeka, kanye nekutibamba.’ Liphindze lisitjele kutsi kufanele ‘sentiwe sibe basha emoyeni nasengcondvweni yetfu. Sembatse buntfu lobusha, lobadalwa bafuta Nkulunkulu ngekulunga nangebungcwele beliciniso.’ (Galathiya 5:22, 23; Efesu 4:23, 24) Kusebentisa letimiso usengakashadi, kutawufanana nekubeka imali ebhange​—ngobe kuyintfo letawukusita ngekuhamba kwesikhatsi nasewushadile.

⁹ Nasi sibonelo: Nangabe ungumuntfu wesifazane, kufanele ufundze kunaka kakhulu “kuhloba kwemuntfu longekhatsi” kunekutsi unake kakhulu kubukeka kwangaphandle. (1 Phetro 3:3, 4) Kuzitsa kanye nekuhluteka kwengcondvo kutawukusita kutsi ube nekuhlakanipha, ‘lokungumchele lomuhle’ weliciniso. (Taga 4:9; 31:10, 30; 1 Thimothi 2:9, 10) Nangabe ungumuntfu lomdvuna, fundza kuphatsa bantfu besifazane ngemusa kanye nangenhlonipho. (1 Thimothi 5:1, 2) Njengobe ufundza kutsatsa tincumo kanye nekunakekela imitfwalo lemikhulu, fundza nekuba ngulozitsile futsi lotfobekile. Kuba ngundlovu ayiphikiswa kungaletsa tinkinga emshadweni.​—Taga 29:23; Mikha 6:8; Efesu 5:28, 29.

¹⁰ Ngisho nobe kumatima kutisebentisa tonkhe letimiso lesesikhulume ngato, kodvwa onkhe emaKhristu kufanele etame kutisebentisa. Kwenta kanjalo kutawukusita ube ngumuntfu lomuhle emshadweni.

LONGAKUBUKA KUMUNTFU LOFUNA KUSHADA NAYE

11, 12. Bantfu lababili bangabona njani kutsi bayafanelana yini nobe cha?

¹¹ Kuyintfo levamile yini endzaweni yakini kutsi umuntfu atikhetsele yena umuntfu lafuna kushada naye? Nangabe kunjalo, yini longayenta nangabe kunalotsite lokukhangako? Kwekucala, kufanele utibute: ‘Ngifuna kushada mbamba yini?’ Kusho kuba nelunya kudlala ngemiva yalomunye umuntfu ngekutsi umnikete litsemba lentfo lengeke yenteke. (Taga 13:12) Ngako-ke, phindze utibute: ‘Ngikulungele yini kushada?’ Nangabe imphendvulo yalemibuto lemibili inguyebo, tinyatselo lotawutitsatsa ngemuva kwaloko titawuya ngelisiko lendzawo yakini. Kulamanye emave, ngemuva kwekumhlola kwesikhashana loyo muntfu, ungase uye kuye bese umtjela indlela lotiva ngayo. Nangabe angavumelani nawe, ungaphikeleli ate angasakhululeki. Kufanele ukhumbule kutsi naye unelilungelo lekutsatsa sincumo kulendzaba. Kodvwa nangabe asabela kahle kulesicelo sakho, ungase uhlele kutsi nicitse sikhatsi ndzawonye etintfweni letizuzisako. Loku kutawukunika litfuba lekubona kutsi kukuhlakanipha yini kushada naye.a Kulesigaba, yini lokufanele uyibuke?

¹² Kute uphendvule lombuto, cabanga ngetinsimbi letimbili temculo, mhlawumbe iphiyano nobe lugitali. Nangabe ngayinye yato ilungiswe kahle, ingakhipha umculo lomnandzi nayidlalwa yodvwa. Nanobe kunjalo, kwentekani nangabe letinsimbi setidlalwa totimbili? Sekufanele tihambisane kahle totimbili. Kuyintfo lefananako ngawe nangaloyo lofuna kushada naye. Kungenteka kutsi ngamunye wenu uye wasebenta kamatima kute ‘alungise’ buntfu bakhe. Kodvwa umbuto lophakamako ukutsi: Niyavumelana yini? Ngalamanye emavi, niyafanelana yini?

13. Kungani kusho kungahlakaniphi kutsandzana nemuntfu lonetinkholelo letingafanani netakho?

¹³ Kubalulekile kutsi nobabili nibe netinkholelo kanye netimiso letifananako. Umphostoli Pawula wabhala: “Ningaboshelwa ejokeni linye nalabangakholwa.” (2 Khorinte 6:14; 1 Khorinte 7:39) Kushada nemuntfu longakholelwa kuNkulunkulu kuwenta abe manyenti ematfuba ekuphakama kwekungevani lokukhulu. Ngakulokunye, kutinikela kwenu kuNkulunkulu Jehova kusisekelo lesicinile sebunye. Jehova ufuna kutsi ujabule futsi ube nebuhlobo lobusedvute nemuntfu loshade naye. Ufuna kutsi ninamatsele kuYe kanye nakulomunye nalomunye ngesibopho selutsandvo lolunemicu lemitsatfu.​—Umshumayeli 4:12.

14, 15. Kuba netinkholelo letifananako ngiko kuphela yini lokudzingekako kute kube nebunye emshadweni? Chaza.

¹⁴ Nanobe kukhonta Nkulunkulu ndzawonye kuyintfo lebaluleke kakhulu leyenta umshado ube nebunye, kunalokwengetiwe lokudzingekako. Kute nivumelane, wena kanye naloyo lotawushada naye kufanele nibe nemigomo lefananako. Iyini imigomo yenu? Nasi sibonelo: Nitiva njani ngekuba nebantfwana? Ngutiphi tintfo letita kucala ekuphileni kwenu?b (Matewu 6:33) Emshadweni lophumelela mbamba, laba labashadile baba bangani labahle futsi bayakujabulela kuba ndzawonye. (Taga 17:17) Kute loku kwenteke, kufanele batsandze tintfo letifananako. Nangabe loku kungenteki, kumatima kulondvolota buhlobo lobusedvute​—akusakhulunywa-ke ngebemshado. Nanobe kunjalo, nangabe umuntfu lotawushada naye atsandza intfo letsite, njengekuvakasha, kantsi wena awukutsandzi, loko kusho kutsi akukafaneli nishade yini? Cha. Ngobe kungenteka kutsi kunetintfo letibaluleke kakhulu lenititsandza nobabili. Ngetulu kwaloko, ungajabulisa lomuntfu lotawushada naye ngekutsi uhlanganyele naye ekutijabuliseni lakutsandzako.​—Imisebenti 20:35.

¹⁵ Kuyacaca-ke kutsi ngelizinga lelikhulu, kufanelana kwenu kutawuya ngekutsi nitimisela kangakanani kuvumelanisa imibono yenu, hhayi kutsi nifanana kangakanani. Kunekutsi utibute umbuto lotsi: “Sivumelana kuko konkhe yini?” kuncono utibute nayi imibuto: “Yini leyentekako nasingavumelani? Siyakwati yini kucoca ngentfo ngekuthula, sihloniphane futsi siniketane ludvumo? Akwenteki yini kutsi nasikhulumisana kugcine sekuvuke imphikiswane lenkhulu?” (Efesu 4:29, 31) Nangabe ufuna kushada, ungayi kumuntfu lotigabatisako, lobambelela emibonweni yakhe kuphela, longagucuki kuyo, futsi lohlale afuna kwenta tintfo ngendlela yakhe.

HLOLA KUSENGEMBILI

16, 17. Yini umuntfu wesifazane kanye nalomdvuna lokufanele batibute yona nabafuna umuntfu labangashada naye?

¹⁶ Ebandleni lebuKhristu, labo labaphatsiswa imitfwalo kufanele “bavivinywe kucala.” (1 Thimothi 3:10) Nawe ungasisebentisa lesimiso. Nasi sibonelo: Wesifazane lofuna kushada angatibuta: “Watiwa ngani lomuntfu? Bobani bangani bakhe? Uyakwati yini kutibamba? Ubaphatsa njani bantfu labadzala? Uvela emndenini lonjani? Usebentelana njani nawo? Uyisebentisa njani imali? Ubusebentisa kabi yini tjwala? Usheshe atfukutsele yini, ate abe nebudlova? Ngumiphi imitfwalo lanayo ebandleni, futsi uyifeza njani? Ngingakwati yini kumhlonipha ngalokujulile?”​—Levithikhusi 19:32; Taga 22:29; 31:23; Efesu 5:3-5, 33; 1 Thimothi 5:8; 6:10; Thithusi 2:6, 7.

¹⁷ Umuntfu lomdvuna lofuna kushada angatibuta: “Lona wesifazane unalo yini lutsandvo kanye nenhlonipho ngaNkulunkulu? Angakwati yini kunakekela likhaya? Umndeni wakubo ulindzeleni kitsi? Uhlakaniphile yini, ukhutsele futsi uyonga? Yini lakhuluma ngayo? Uyikhatsalela ngebucotfo yini inhlalakahle yalabanye, nobe uticabangela yena yedvwa, futsi utsandza tindzaba tebantfu? Wetsembekile yini? Uyakufuna yini kutitfoba ebunhlokweni, nobe unenkhani, mhlawumbe ate avukele imbala?”​—Taga 31:10-31; Lukha 6:45; Efesu 5:22, 23; 1 Thimothi 5:13; 1 Phetro 4:15.

18. Nangabe kunebutsakatsaka lobuncane lenibubonako ngesikhatsi nisaganene, yini lokufanele niyikhumbule?

¹⁸ Ungakhohlwa kutsi umuntfu losebentelana naye unesono futsi uvela ku-Adamu, akasilo lichawe lokuvame kukhulunywa ngalo etincwadzini telutsandvo. Wonkhe umuntfu uyawenta emaphutsa, futsi lamanye awo kutawufanele ungawanaki​—kokubili akho kanye newalomuntfu lotawushada naye. (Roma 3:23; Jakobe 3:2) Ngetulu kwaloko, butsakatsaka lobubonako bungakuvulela litfuba lekutsi ukhule ngekwakamoya. Nasi sibonelo: Asesitsi niyacabana ngesikhatsi nisaganene. Kufanele ucabange: Ngisho nebantfu labatsandzanako futsi labahloniphanako abavumelani ngaletinye tikhatsi. (Catsanisa naGenesisi 30:2; Imisebenti 15:39) Akusiko yini kutsi mhlawumbe nobabili nidzinga “kutibamba” ngalokwengetiwe futsi nifundze nendlela yekulungisa kungevani ngekuthula? (Taga 25:28) Lona lotawushada naye uyafuna yini kutfutfuka? Wena, uyafuna yini? Ungakufundza yini kungasheshi utsintseke? (Umshumayeli 7:9) Kufundza kulungisa tinkinga kungakha kukhulumisana ngekwetsembeka, lokuyintfo lebalulekile nasenishadile.​—Kholose 3:13.

19. Yini lengaba kuhlakanipha kutsi uyente nakuvela tinkinga letinkhulu ngesikhatsi sekuganana?

¹⁹ Kutsiwani-ke nangabe ubona tintfo letikuhlupha kakhulu? Kungabata lokunjalo kufanele kucatjangwe ngako ngekucophelela. Ngisho nobe umtsandza kangakanani lomuntfu nobe kutsi sewujake kangakanani kushada, ungashayi shengatsi awuwaboni emaphutsa lamakhulu. (Taga 22:3; Umshumayeli 2:14) Nangabe utsandzana nemuntfu lomngabatako, kukuhlakanipha kubucedza buhlobo benu, ubalekele kutibopha kuye kuphila kwakho konkhe.

KUGANANA KWENU AKUHLALE KUHLONIPHEKILE

20. Bantfu labaganene bangenta njani kute kutiphatsa kwabo kungabi ngulokuhlazisako?

²⁰ Ningakwenta njani kuganana kwenu kuhlale kuhloniphekile? Kwekucala, cinisekani kutsi kutiphatsa kwenu akuhlazisi. Endzaweni lenihlala kuyo, kuyintfo leyemukelekako yini kutsi bantfu labasaganene babambane ngetandla, bacabuzane, nobe bagacane? Ngisho nobe tintfo letinjalo temukeleka, kufanele tentiwe kuphela nangabe umshado sewucinisekisiwe. Caphela kutsi tento tekuvetelana lutsandvo tingagcine setiholele etentweni letingcolile kanye nasekutiphatseni lokubi ngekwelicasi. (Efesu 4:18, 19; catsanisa neNgoma Yetingoma 1:2; 2:6; 8:5, 9, 10.) Ngesizatfu sekutsi inhlitiyo iyayengana, kungaba kuhlakanipha kutsi nikubalekele kuba nodvwana endlini, emotweni lemile, nobe kulenye indzawo lengavula litfuba lekutiphatsa lokubi. (Jeremiya 17:9) Kugcina kuganana kwenu kuhlantekile ngekwekutiphatsa kufakazela kutsi niyakwati kutibamba, nekutsi niyikhatsalela ngaphandle kwebugovu inhlalakahle yalomunye umuntfu kunetifiso tenu. Lokubaluleke kakhulu kutsi kuganana lokuhlantekile kutawumjabulisa Nkulunkulu Jehova, loyala tinceku takhe kutsi tikubalekele kungcola kanye nekutiphatsa lokubi ngekwelicasi.​—Galathiya 5:19-21.

21. Ngukuphi kukhulumisana ngekwetsembeka lokudzingekako kute nigcine kuganana kwenu kuhloniphekile?

²¹ Kwesibili, kuganana lokuhloniphekile kufaka ekhatsi kukhulumisana ngekwetsembeka. Njengobe buhlobo benu butfutfukela emshadweni, letinye tintfo kutawufanele nitikhulume ngekukhululeka. Njengekutsi nitawuhlalaphi? Nitawusebenta nobabili yini? Niyafuna yini kuba nebantfwana? Kuhle nekutsi nivete tintfo letenteka esikhatsini lesengcile letingawutsintsa umshado wenu. Loku kungafaka ekhatsi tikweleti, tibopho letinkhulu lonato, nobe tindzaba temphilo, njengesifo lonaso. Ngesizatfu sekutsi timphawu te-HIV (ligciwane lembulalave) atisheshi tibonakale kubantfu labanayo, angeke kube kubi kutsi umuntfu nobe batali labakhatsalelako bafune kutsi lona loke watiphatsa kabi ngekwelicasi nobe loke wasebentisa tidzakamiva ente luhlolo lwengati. Nangabe loluhlolo luveta kutsi lomuntfu unalo leligciwane, akukafaneli aphocelele lona labefuna kushada naye kutsi bachubeke nebuhlobo nangabe yena afuna kubucedza. Ecinisweni, kukuhlakanipha kutsi nobe ngubani loke waphila imphilo leyingoti aye kuyewuhlola ingati ngembikwekutsi atsandzane nalotsite.

KUBUKA NGALE KWELILANGA LEMSHADO

22, 23. (a) Unganilahlekela njani umbono lofanele nanenta emalungiselelo emshado? (b) Ngumuphi umbono lokufanele niwulondvolote nanicabangela umshado kanye nekuba ngulabashadile?

²² Etinyangeni tekugcina ngembikwelilanga lemshado, nobabili nitawube nimatasatasa nenta emalungiselelo. Ningakunciphisa kukhatsateka ngekutsi nibe ngulabangecisi. Umshado lomkhulu ungatijabulisa tihlobo nabomakhelwane, kodvwa ungashiya labasandza kushada kanye nemindeni yabo badziniwe futsi baphelelwe nayimali. Kulandzela emasiko endzawo kungase kufaneleke, kodvwa kutigcilata ngawo nobe kuba nemoya wekuncintisana kungambonya injongo yalesentakalo futsi kucedze nenjabulo lokufanele nibe nayo. Ngisho nobe imiva yalabanye kufanele icatjangelwe, umkhwenyane nguye lonemtfwalo lomkhulu wekukhetsa loko lokutawukwenteka edzilini lemshado.​—Johane 2:9.

²³ Khumbula kutsi lidzili lemshado litsatsa lilanga linye nje kuphela, kodvwa umshado wenu wona uhlala kute kube phakadze. Kubalekeleni kunaka kakhulu sento sekushada. Kunaloko funani sicondziso saNkulunkulu Jehova, futsi nikuhlele kusengembili kuphila kwenu kwekuba ngulabashadile. Ngekwenta kanjalo, nitawube niwuhlele kahle umshado lophumelelako.