Founga Hono Uesia ʻe he Veté ʻa e Fānaú

Ko e ngaahi hoa mali ʻe niʻihi ʻa ia ʻoku palopalema ʻenau nofo malí ʻoku nau pehē ko e veté ʻe lelei ange ia ki heʻenau fānaú​—ʻo laka mamaʻo ange ia ʻi ha nofo mo ha ongo mātuʻa faʻa kē. Ko e hā ʻoku fakahaaʻi ʻe he ngaahi moʻoniʻi meʻá?

• Ko e hā ʻa e ngaahi uesia ʻo e veté ki he fānaú?

• ʻE fiefia ange ʻeku fānaú kapau te u vete?

• Ko e hā ʻoku totonu ke u ʻiloʻi fekauʻaki mo e vahevahe ʻi hono tauhi ʻo e fānaú?

• ʻOku ʻi ai ha fili lelei ange?

Ko e hā ʻa e ngaahi uesia ʻo e veté ki he fānaú?

ʻOku fakahaaʻi ʻe he fakatotoló ko e uesia ʻoku fakatupunga ʻe he veté ʻi he fānaú ʻoku fakatupu maumau. Ko e fānau ʻa e faʻahinga kuo nau veté ʻoku ngalingali te nau:

• hokosia ʻa e ʻita, loto-moʻua, mo e loto-mafasia

• fakatupulekina ha tōʻonga fakatupu maumau

• palopalema he akó pe nofo mei he akó

• mahamahaki

Tānaki atu ki aí, ko e fānau tokolahi ʻoku nau tukuakiʻi kinautolu ki he vete ʻenau mātuʻá, ʻi he fakakaukau naʻa nau fakatupunga ia pe naʻe mei lava ke nau fakahaofi ia.

Ko e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku fehangahangai mo e fānaú ʻe hokohoko atu pē ia ʻo aʻu ki heʻenau fuʻu lahí, ʻa ia te nau fakakaukau nai ʻoku ʻikai haʻanau mahuʻinga pea ʻikai ke nau falala ki he niʻihi kehé. ʻI he taimi te nau maʻu fāmili aí pea hokosia ha palopalema ʻi he nofo malí, ngalingali te nau vete mo kinautolu.

Ko e meʻa mahuʻinga tahá: Neongo ko e kakai ʻe niʻihi ʻoku nau fakakaukau ʻe lelei ange ki he fānaú kapau te nau vete, ka ʻi he fakatatau ki he fakatotoló ʻoku ʻikai ke moʻoni eni. “Ko e veté ʻokú ne ʻai ʻa e fānaú ke nau loto-mamahi,” ko e tohi ia ʻa Penelope Leacha ko e mataotao ʻi hono tokangaʻi ʻo e fānaú.

Tefitoʻi moʻoni Fakatohitapu: “ʻOua ʻe kumi pē ki he lelei ʻa kimoutolú, kae kumi foki ki he lelei ʻa e niʻihi kehé.”​—Filipai 2:4.

ʻE fiefia ange ʻeku fānaú kapau te u vete?

Ko e kakai ʻe niʻihi te nau pehē ʻio. Ka neongo ia, manatuʻi maʻu pē ʻoku kehekehe ʻa e ngaahi fiemaʻu ʻa e mātuʻá mei he fiemaʻu ʻa e fānaú. Ko e tokotaha ʻoku fakakaukau ke veté ʻokú ne loto ke maʻu ha moʻui foʻou. Ko e fānaú ʻoku nau saiʻia ange ke nofo fakataha ʻenau mātuʻá.

ʻI he hili hono sivisiviʻi ʻa e ngaahi vete ʻe laui afe, naʻe tohi ʻe ha faʻutohi ʻo e tohi The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: “Ko e meʻa ʻe taha ʻoku māʻalaʻalá: ʻoku ʻikai ke tala mai ʻe he fānaú ʻoku nau fiefia ange. ʻI hono kehé, ʻoku nau pehē, ʻKo e ʻaho pē naʻe vete ai ʻenau ongo mātuʻá ko e ʻaho ia naʻe ngata ai ʻenau fiefiá, ongoʻi malú mo e fiemālié.’” ʻOku tānaki mai ʻe he tohí ʻoku nau vakai ki he māmaní ko ha “feituʻu taʻefalalaʻanga mo fakatuʻutāmaki ange koeʻuhí ko e faʻahinga ofi taha kiate kinautolú ʻoku ʻikai lava ke nau maluʻi kinautolu.”

Ko e meʻa mahuʻinga tahá: Ko e fānaú ngalingali heʻikai ke nau ongoʻi fiefia ʻi he hili ʻa e vete ʻenau ongo mātuʻá.

Tefitoʻi moʻoni Fakatohitapu: “Ko ha laumālie mafesi ʻokú ne fakamaha ʻa e ivi ʻo ha taha.”​—Palōveepi 17:22.

Ko e hā ʻoku totonu ke u ʻiloʻi fekauʻaki mo e vahevahe ʻi hono tauhi ʻo e fānaú?

Ko e kau vete ʻe niʻihi ʻoku nau fakakaukau ʻoku nau kei hangē pē ha fāmili ʻoku kei nofo fakatahá, ʻo vahevahe tatau ʻi he ngafa hono ʻohake ʻo e fānaú. Neongo ia, ko e vahevahe ʻi hono tauhi ʻo e fānaú ko e ngāue faingataʻa. ʻOku fakahaaʻi ʻe he fakatotoló ko e ngaahi hoa mali veté ʻoku nau faʻa:

• fakamoleki ʻa e taimi siʻi ange mo ʻenau fānaú

• akoʻi ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga ʻoku fepakipaki

• ʻulutukua ki he fānaú koeʻuhi ko e ongoʻi halaiá pe helaʻiá

Ko ha fānau mei ha vete te nau hehema nai ke talitekeʻi ʻa e mafai ʻenau mātuʻá. He ko ē, kuo taʻemalava ʻenau mātuʻá ke fai ʻa e meʻa ʻoku totonú, hangē ko e tauhi ʻena tukupaá, fefalalaʻakí pe tauhi ki heʻena fuakavá. ‘Ko e hā ke fanongo ai kiate kinauá?’ ko e fakaʻuhinga nai ia ʻa e fānaú.

Ko e meʻa mahuʻinga tahá: Ko e vahevahe ʻi hono tauhi ʻo e fānaú ʻoku faʻa faingataʻa ia ki he ngaahi hoa mali kuo veté. Ka ki he fanaú, ʻoku toe mātuʻaki faingataʻa ange ia kiate kinautolu.

Tefitoʻi moʻoni Fakatohitapu: “ʻOua te mou fakaʻitaʻi hoʻomou fānaú, koeʻuhi ke ʻoua te nau hoko ʻo loto-mafasia.”​—Kolose 3:21.

ʻOku ʻi ai ha fili lelei ange?

Ko e ngāue lahi ke kamataʻi ha moʻui foʻou hili ha vete, ka naʻe mei lelei ange kapau naʻá na ngāue tōtōivi ke fakahaofi ʻena nofo malí. “ʻOku ʻikai ʻuhinga ʻa e palopalema ha nofo mali ʻe pehē ai pē,” ko e lau ia ʻa e tohi The Case for Marriage. “Ko e ngaahi hoa mali tokolahi ʻoku nau faʻa palopalema kae fili ke nofo fakatahá, ʻi he faai atu ʻa e taimí te nau hoko ʻo fiefia ange.” Ko e meʻa mahuʻinga tahá, ʻoku fiefia ange ʻa e fānaú ʻi heʻenau nofo fakataha mo ʻenau ongo mātuʻá.

ʻOku ʻikai ʻuhinga ení heʻikai ʻaupito lava ke na vete. Ko hono moʻoní, ʻoku fakaʻatā ʻe he Tohi Tapú ʻa e vete malí ʻi he tuʻunga ʻo e fehokotaki fakasino taʻetāú. (Mātiu 19:9) Kae kehe, ʻoku toe pehē ʻe he Tohi Tapú “ko e tokotaha fakapotopotó ʻokú ne fakakaukauʻi ʻene laka taki taha.” (Palōveepi 14:15) Ko e ngaahi husepāniti mo e ngaahi uaifi ʻoku palopalema ʻenau nofo malí ʻoku totonu ke nau fakakaukau ki he kotoa ʻo e ngaahi tuʻungá​—ʻo kau ai ʻa e ngaahi uesia ʻe hoko ki he fānaú ʻi heʻenau veté.

Ko e moʻoni, ʻoku fiemaʻu ʻa e meʻa lahi ange ʻi hono kātekina ha tuʻunga faingataʻa. ʻOku ʻomai ʻe he Tohi Tapú ʻa e faleʻi lelei taha ke tokoni ki he ngaahi husepānití mo e ngaahi uaifí, ke nau fakatupulekina ʻa e ngaahi ʻulungaanga ʻe fiemaʻu ke lava ʻo kātekina pea maʻu ha nofo mali fiefia. ʻOku ʻikai ha ofo ai, he ko e Tokotaha-Faʻutohi ʻo e Tohi Tapú ʻa Sihova, naʻá ne fokotuʻutuʻu ʻa e nofo malí.​—Mātiu 19:4-6.

Tefitoʻi moʻoni Fakatohitapu: “Ko au Sihova, ko ho ʻOtuá, ʻa e Tokotaha ʻokú ne akoʻi koe ke ke maʻu ʻaonga aí.”​—ʻAisea 48:17.