Niinzi Nzweelede Kuchita Kuti Ngukwetenaawe Kayebela Ponogilafu?
“Ndakalimvwa mbuli kuti mulumaangu wakali kukkala kachita bumambi.”
“Ndakalimvwa kandili ndawubuka, kanditachili mubotu alubo kanditachigwasyi pe.”
“Taakwe ngundakabuzya pe atala apenzi eeli. Zyakali kundijika andikke mumoyo.”
“Ndakalimvwa mbuli kuti Jehova taakalikwe ndaba pe andime.”
Majwi aalaajulu atondeezya mwanakazi mbalimvwa kuti mulumaakwe kayebela ponogilafu. Kuti mwaalumi waba aamyeezi naakuti minyaka myiingi kayebela ponogilafu chakusisikizya, mwanakazaakwe kulamuyumina kuti azoomusyome lubo. Umwi mwanakazi wakalibuzya kuti, “Mulumaangu tandimuzi kabotu pe. Kweelede kuti kuli zintu zyiingi nzyandisisila.”
Chiiyo eechi chakalembelwa mwanakazi ulaamulumi weebela ponogilafu.a Tulabona malayilile aamuBbayibbili aakonzya kumuumbulizya alubo aamugwasya kubona kuti Jehova tamulekelezyi pe akuti akkale kali aafwiifwi anguwe.b
NIINZI NZYAKONZYA KUCHITA MWANAKAZI?
Nikuba kuti tukonzyi pe kulesya mulumaako zintu zyoonse nzyachita, pesi kuli zimwi zintu nzukonzya kuchita kuti utakataazikani loko akuti ube aaluumuno lwamumizeezo. Nzezi zimwi nzukonzya kuchita.
Utalipi mulandu. Mwanakazi ulakonzya kubonaanga nguwe uulikupa kuti mulumaakwe ayebele ponogilafu. Alicec wakali kubonaanga taakali kweebeka pe kumulumaakwe. Wakali kulibuzya kuti, ‘Nkamboonzi mulumaangu nayeba bamwi banakazi kasiya ndime?’ Bamwi banakazi balipa mulandu akaambo kazintu nzibachita kababonaaanga nzizyo zilikupa kuti zyiindilile kubija. Daniella wakaamba kuti, “Ndakabona kuti ndime ndakalijayila muunzi akaambo kakuti ndakali kufwambaana kunyema.”
Kuti kulimvwa munzila iili boobu, baachoonzyo chakuti Jehova takupi mulandu pe akaambo kamichito yamulumaako. Jakkobo 1:14 yaamba kuti: “Umwi awumwi ulasunkwa kwiinda mukukwelelezegwa amukoongelezegwa aachiyandisyo chakwe.” (Rom. 14:12; Flp. 2:12) Kwiinda kuti akusole, Jehova ulakuyanda akaambo kakusyomeka kulinguwe.—2 Mak. 16:9.
Alubo kulayandikana kuziba kuti, kweebela ponogilafu nkwachita mulumaako takwaambi kuti tuyebeki pe. Basikuyanduulisisya mumakani aaya, bakabona kuti ponogilafu ipa kuti mwaalumi abe aachiyandisyo chipati loko chakoonana zyakuti taakwe mwanakazi pe uukonzya kuchizuzikizya chiyandisyo eecho.
Utakataazikani zyiindilide. Catherine wakaamba kuti kukkala kayeeya kuti mulumaakwe weebela ponogilafu kwakamupambanisya kwabuumi bwakwe boonse. Frances wakati: “Nga ndakataazikana loko kuti kanditazi kuti mulumaangu ulikuli. Nga ndalibbizya bubi buzuba oobo.” Bamwi banakazi ngababula chibamena kuti kabalaamwi abakombinyina bazi penzi ndibalaalyo balumi babo. Alubo bamwi nga balimvwa kabalendeleledwe kuti bayeeya kuti bamwi tabalikuchimvwisisisya pe chiimo chabo.
Kulimvwa munzila eeyi teekubi pe. Pesi kukkala kuyeeyesesya atala apenzi ndyalaalyo mulumaako kupa kuti ukataazikane zyiindilide. Yezya kukkala kuli aabweenzinyokwe busimide aJehova. Kuchita oobo, kulakugwasya kuti ulisimye.—Int. 62:2; Ef. 6:10.
Kubala akuyeeyesesya atala abanakazi baambidwe muBbayibbili bakali kukataazikana alubo bakajana luumbulizyo kuli Jehova kwiinda munkombyo, kulakonzya kukugwasya loko. Jehova taakazichincha pe zyiimo zyabo, pesi wakabapa luumuno lwamumizeezo. Muchikozyano, Hana “wakaluuside kapati” akaambo kachiimo chakwe. Pesi naakamana “kupaila kuli Jehova,” wakaba aaluumuno lwamumizeezo nikuba kuti taakazi pe kuti chiimo chakwe chakali kuyoobambululwa biyeni.—1 Sam. 1:10, 12, 18; 2 Kor. 1:3, 4.
Mwaalumi amwanakazaakwe beelede kuyanduula lugwasyo kuzwa kubaalu
Yanduula lugwasyo kubaalu. Baalu balakonzya “kuba mbuli busena bwakutijila muwo, busena bwakuyusila mvwula mpati yamuwo.” (Is. 32:2) Alubo balakonzya kukumbila umwi muchizi ngukonzya kubuzya zilikukukataazya alubo uukonzya kukuumbulizya.—Tus. 17:17.
GWASYA MULUMAAKO
Zilachita na kuti ugwasye mulumaako ulaachiimbo chakweebela ponogilafu? Zilakonzya kuchita. Bbayibbili lyaamba kuti “bobilo bali kabotu kwiinda omwe” kuti bazwidilile kuzunda sinkondonyina. (Muk. 4:9-12) Kuyanduulisisya kwakachitwa kutondeezya kuti kulikabotu kuti bakwetene babelekelaamwi kuti bazunde penzi ndyalaalyo umwi lyakweebela ponogilafu akuti basaangune kusyomana lubo.
Muntu uulaachiimbo chakweebela ponogilafu weelede kulipeda kuti asiye muchito wakwe. Mulumaako wakakomba na kuli Jehova kuti amupe manguzu aakuti asiye muchito wakwe alubo wakakumbila lugwasyo na kubaalu? (2 Kor. 4:7; Jak. 5:14, 15) Kuli ntaamu nzyaakabweza na zyakuti atantamuke sunko eeli? Muchikozyano, wakalibikkila migaanu na atala ambayibelesya minchina yamazubaano? Ulazitantamuka na zyiimo zikonzya kupa kuti ayebele ponogilafu? (Tus. 27:12) Ulilipedelede na kutambula lugwasyo lwako alubo ulakubuzya na zyoonse nzyaachita? Kuti kali wakazichita eezi, ulakonzya kumugwasya.
Kujana wamugwasya biyeni? Atubone chikozyano. Felicia ukwetwe aamwaalumi uutegwa Ethan. Ethan wakanjilwa muganzi aakweebela ponogilafu naakachili muniini. Felicia nga wachita zintu zipa kuti mulumaakwe kumuubile kwaambuula atala apenzi eeli kuti lyamusikila. Ethan wakaamba kuti: “Nga ndamubuzya zyoonse mwanakazaangu. Munzila yaluyando, ulandigwasya kuti ndizibe mpundeelede kugolela alubo ukkala kandibuzya kuti sunu zili biyeni. Mwanakazaangu ulandigwasya kuti ndizibe chiindi chakunjila aa-intaneti.” Zilamuchisa Felicia kubona mulumaakwe mbayandisya kweebela ponogilafu. Wakaamba kuti, “Kunyema akuchisigwa moyo nkundimvwa taakwe nikupa kuti mulumaangu alizunde penzi eeli. Pesi chiindi nitwaambuula atala apenzi eeli, mulumaangu nga wandigwasya kuti nditakataazikani loko pe.”
Kwaambuuzyania kuli boobu takugwasyi mwaalumi kupela kuti azunde penzi lyakweebela ponogilafu pesi kulamugwasya alakwe mwanakazaakwe kuti amusyome lubo. Kuti mwaalumi kaangunukide kwaambuula atala azintu nzyayanda kuchita ankwayanda kwiinka, nga taakwe uuchisisila umwi pe.
Kujana wamugwasya na mulumaako mbuli mbaakachita Felicia? Kuti kakuli boobo, mulakonzya kubala chiiyo eechi mpawo mwaambuuzyanie atala anchicho. Mulumaako weelede kukanza kuleka kweebela ponogilafu akuti ape kuti usaangune kumusyoma lubo. Kwiinda kuti waambuulaawe kunyemede, pesi mugwasye, abone kuti zintu nzyachita zipa kuti ukataazikane zili biyeni. Makanze aako nga kumugwasya kuti asiye muchito wakwe uutalikabotu akuti umusyome lubo. Iwe amulumaako, kulayandikana kuti muzibe zipa kuti muntu ayebele ponogilafu ambumukonzya kuzunda penzi eelyo.d
Kuti kamuyoowela kuti mulakonzya kuuntya kasuko mung’anda chiindi nimulikwaambuula atala ankani eeyi, mulakonzya kukumbila mwaalu ngumwaangunukide kwaambuulaawe kuti abewo nimulikwaambuula. Ziba kuti nikuba kuti mulumaako walizunda penzi lyakweebela ponogilafu, zilakonzya kukutolela chiindi kuti uzoosaangune kumusyoma lubo. Pesi utateyi mulenga. Bikkila maanu kuzintu ziniini zibotu nzyakuchitila. Kuti mwaba aamoyo mulamfu, mukuya kwachiindi lukwatano lwanu, luzoosima lubo.—Muk. 7:8; 1 Kor. 13:4.
ANI KUTI WAYINKILILA KUNEMBO KWEEBELA PONOGILAFU?
Kuti zyamusikila lubo mulumaako zyakweebela ponogilafu, zyaamba kuti tazoosanduki na naakuti tachizoochinchi pe? Teembuzyaamba pe. Kuti kakuli wakali wanjilwa muganzi amuchito ooyu, zilakonzya kumutolela chiindi kuti alizunde penzi lyakwe chakumaninina. Zilakonzya kumuboolela lubo nikuba kakuli kwayinda minyaka myiingi kalekede. Kuti azookonzye kulizunda penzi eeli muchiindi chilikunembo, weelede kubeleka changuzu kuti alibikkile mugaanu nikuba chiindi naabonaanga walizunda penzi eelyo. (Tus. 28:14; Mt. 5:29; 1 Kor. 10:12) Weelede kubeleka changuzu kuti ‘achitwe kuti abe mupya munzila njayeeyaayo’ akuti ‘asulaike bubi’ buswaanizya ponogilafu ayimwi michito iisofweede iili mbuli kuuma bbonya-bbonya. (Ef. 4:23; Int. 97:10; Rom. 12:9) Mulumaako, ulilipedelede na kuti asiye michito eeyi mibi? Kuti kalipedelede, ulakonzya kuzoochincha.e
Belekela kuti ukkale kuli aabweenzinyokwe busimide aJehova
Niinzi nzukonzya kuchita kuti mulumaako katakwe chiyandisyo chakuleka penzi lyakwe? Ulakonzya kumana manguzu, kunyema naakuti kumvwa kutachigwasyi. Belekela kuti ube aaluumuno lwamumizeezo kwiinda mukusiya nkani eeyo mumaboko aaJehova. (1 Pet. 5:7) Yinkilila kunembo kuswena aafwiifwi aJehova kwiinda mukubala, kukomba akuyeeyesesya. Chiindi nuchita zintu eezi, weelede kuba aachoonzyo chakuti anguwe Jehova ulaswena aafwiifwi anduwe. Lugwalo lwa Isaya 57:15 lwaamba kuti, Jehova ukkala aabaabo “batyompedwe” abalibombya kayanda kuti babotelwe lubo. Beleka changuzu kuti ukkale kuli muKkristu uusimide. Yanduula lugwasyo kuzwa kubaalu. Alubo baachoonzyo chakuti mukuya kwachiindi mulumaako ulakonzya kuzoochincha.—Rom. 2:4; 2 Pet. 3:9.
a Muchiiyo eechi, tulaamba kuti mwaalumi nguwe ulikweebela ponogilafu. Nikuba oobo, malayilile ngitutalange-lange alakonzya kugwasya mwaalumi ulaamwanakazi weebela ponogilafu.
c Amwi mazina akachinchwa.
d Amwi makani aakonzya kumugwasya ajanika aajw.org amumabbuku eesu. Muchikozyano, langa mutwe utii, “Pornography Can Shatter Your Marriage” aa jw.org; “Mulakonzya Kwaazunda Masunko!” muNgazi Yamulindizi yamu-April 1, 2014, pp. 10-12; achiiyo chitii, “Zyintu Ziletela Muzeezo Wakoonana Sena Taakwe Mbozibede?” muNgazi Yamulindizi yamu-August 1, 2013, pp. 3-7.
e Akaambo kakuti ponogilafu injila muganzi, bamwi bakwetene nga bayanduula lugwasyo kumadokotela nikuba kuti nga bagwasigwa abaalu.