“Muncini Uulaanguzu Kapati Mububumbo Boonse Uugwasya Kwiiya Zyintu”
A KAAMBO katwaambo tumwi, bongo bwamwana muvwanda bwaambwa kuti “muncini uulaanguzu kapati mububumbo boonse uugwasya kwiiya zyintu.” Mwana ulazyalwa kalibambilide kubona zyintu zyoonse, kuswiilila, alimwi akumvwa zyintu zimuzingulukide.
Kwiinda zyoonse, mwana muvwanda, bantu balamugambya—mbobaboneka, mbobaambaula anobamuguma-guma. Ibbuku lyakuti Babyhood, ilyakalembwa aba Penelope Leach lyaamba kuti: “Buvwuntauzi bunji bwakacitwa kujatikizya zyintu zimugambya mwana, mbuli kubona, kumvwa, alimwi azyintu nzyayandisisya kujata-jata. Zyoonse eezyi zyintu iziyandika kumwana, zilacitwa amuntu mupati uumulela.” Aboobo, tacigambyi kuti bazyali balagwasya kapati kulela mwana kuti akomene kabotu.
“Ndakali Kwaambaula Mbuli Mwana”
Bazyali alimwi abamadokota babana balagambwa kubona mwana mbwakonzya kwiiya mwaambo kwiinda mukuswiilila buyo bantu nobaambaula. Basikuvwuntauzya bajana kuti mumazuba masyoonto buyo, mwana muvwanda ulakonzya kulizyiba jwi lyabanyina alimwi akuyanda buyo ijwi eelyo kutali lyamuntu umbi; munsondo buyo zisyoonto, ulakonzya kwiindanya mwaambo wabazyali bakwe, amyaambo iimbi; mpoonya mumyezi buyo misyoonto, ulakonzya kwiindanya majwi, akuzyiba ŋambawido iili kabotu aitali kabotu.
Paulo, Imwaapostolo Munakristo wakalemba kuti: “Nindakali mwana [muvwanda], ndakali kwaambaula mbuli mwana.” (1 Bakolinto 13:11) Ino mbuti mwana muvwanda mbwaambaula? Ulaambaula mumwaambo uutalimvwisyi. Sena naambaula boobo inga upanga buyo coongo? Peepe! Ba Dr. Lise Eliot, mubbuku lyabo lyakuti What’s Going On in There?—How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life, bakaamba kuti kwaambaula “ncintu cicitika kwiinda mukubelekela antoomwe kwamilambi yeendelezya milomo, lulimi, cilakula alimwi agoyooyo.” Bakayungizya akwaamba kuti: “Nokuba kuti nzyaamba mwana muvwanda inga kazilibonya mbuli kuti ninzila buyo yakuti bamubikkile maano bazyali, pele kucita boobo kulamugwasya kuti aiye kubelesya milambi iibelesyegwa mukwaambaula kutegwa kumbele akacikonzye kwaambaula kabotu.”
Bazyali balabandika amwanaabo mumwaambo wakwe, eeci cilagwasya munzila imwi. Kwaambaula kuli boobu kupa kuti mwana muvwanda atondezye kuti wamvwa. Kubandika ooku kuyiisya mwana muvwanda kwaambaula, kwalo nkwatiikabelesye mubuumi bwakwe boonse.
Mulimo Wabazyali Ulacinca-cinca
Bazyali balajata bubi kulanganya ziyandika zyamwanaabo zyabuzuba abuzuba. Kufwumbwa buyo mwana alila, balamunyonsya. Alila buyo, balamucinca tebela. Alila buyo balamunyamuna. Kubikkila maano kuli boobu kulayandika kapati. Kucita boobo, ninzila yomwe bazyali njobazuzikizya mulimo wabo wakulela.—1 Batesalonika 2:7.
Kweelana azyaambwa kale, cileelela kuti mwana alimvwe kuti walo, ngomuntu uuyandika kapati kwiinda boonse akuti bapati boonse—kwaambisya bazyali bakwe—baponena buyo kucita nzyayanda. Kuyeeya kuli boobu takuluzi, pele kulalimvwisya. Kamuyeeya kuti, kwaciindi cilamfwu iciinda kumwaka omwe, oobo mbwaakali kulimvwa mwana. Mumizeezo yakwe, uli mbuli mwami wabwami imuli bantu bapati balo ibeelede kumucitila zyintu zyoonse. Basyaazibwene mumakani aakulaya mikwasyi ba John Rosemond, bakalemba kuti: “Ibazyali balatola buyo mwaka omwe amyezi misyoonto, ikupa kuti mwanaabo kalimvwa kuti nguuyandika kwiinda boonse; pele kutegwa bamugwasye kuti aleke kulimvwa boobo, cilatola myaka iisika ku 16. Aboobo ooyu mulimo wabazyali, ikukkomanisya mwanaabo muvwanda kwiinda mukumubikka mubukkale bubotu boobu, mpoonya asyoonto-syoonto, kumuyiisya kuti bukkale oobu tabuli bwamasimpe pe.”
Mwana akkwanya myaka yobilo, mulimo wabazyali ulacinca kuzwa kusikulela akuba mwiiyi, mpoonya mwana ulatalika kwiiya kuti nzyaakali kuyeeya tiizyakali zyamasimpe. Lino mwana ulazyiba kuti bazyali bakwe tabeelede kutobela kufwumbwa nzyayanda, muciindi caboobo, walo nguweelede kubamvwida. Bwami bwakwe lino bwamana, alimwi kucinca ooku takumukkomanisyi pe. Akaambo kakunyema, ulatalika kukazyanya abazyali bakwe. Munzila nzi?
Mbomukonzya Kucita Ciindi Mwana Naba Aamacece
Ciindi bana nobakkwanya myaka yobile, bunji bwabo balacinca akutalika kunyema-nyema, kwalo ikwaambwa kuti macece. Eeci nciindi cikatazya kapati kubazyali. Aciindi eeci, mwana ulatalika kukaka-kaka. Ulakonzya kulinyemena alimwi akunyemena bazyali bakwe ciindi nasola kulikwabilila akaambo kakucinca ooku. Ulayanda kubatantamuka bazyali, pele kumwi ulayanda kuba munsi-munsi ambabo. Bazyali balanyongana kapati, nzila zyoonse nzyobasola zilibonya kuti tazibeleki. Ino ncinzi cicitika?
Aboobo, amuyeeye buyo kucinca kupati kucitika mubuumi bwamwana. Walo ncaakali kucita buyo, nkulila, mpoonya cakufwambaana bazyali bakali kumubikkila maano. Lino watalika kuzyiba kuti “bwami” bwakwe bwakali buyo bwakaindi kasyoonto, alimwi akuti weelede kutalika kulicitila zyintu zimwi. Asyoonto-syoonto, ulazyiba kuti weelede kumvwida bazyali bakwe, kweelana ancolyaamba Bbaibbele kuti: “Nobana, amubamvwide bazyali banu muzyintu zyoonse.”—Bakolose 3:20.
Muciindi eeci, bazyali beelede kubikkila maano kweendelezya bana babo. Ikuti bacita oobo munzila yabupampu pele yaluyando, mwanaabo ulakonzya kubuzyibila bukkale bwakwe bupya. Alimwi zyintu nzyakonzya kwiiya zilakonzya kumugwasya kukomena kabotu.
Kulilemeka
Ibanyama alimwi amincini imwi, zilakonzya kuzyiba mabala akwiiya ŋambawido yamuntu. Pele bantu balikke mbabacikonzya kucita zyintu, kuyeeya akulanga-langa bukkale bwabo. Aboobo, ciindi mwana naba amyaka yobile naa yotatwe, ulakonzya kutalika kumvwa nsoni, kuyoowa alimwi akulibilika. Eezyi nzezyintu zitondezya kuti mwana watalika kukomena kujatikizya mbwalilemeka—cakuti ulakonzya kuliiminina akulisalila ciluzi, nociba ciindi bamwi nobacita citaluzi.
Aciindi eeci, bazyali beelede kuti kabalibambilide kukucinca akumbi kulangilwa kucitika kumwanaabo. Mwana ulatalika kuzyiba mbobalimvwa bamwi. Ciindi naakajisi myaka yobile, wakali kulisobanina alikke, pele lino ulacikonzya kusobana antoomwe abamwi. Alimwi ulakonzya kuzyiba bazyali bakwe nobakkomene akuyanda kubakkomanisya. Aboobo aciindi aawa, ulakonzya kuyiisyigwa kabotu.
Lino kwiinda lyoonse, mwana najisi myaka yotatwe ulatalika kuzyiba ciluzi acitaluzi, bubi abubotu. Cileelela kuti, aciindi eeci bazyali balakonzya kubayiisya bana babo kutegwa bakabe bana babikkila maano.
[Majwi aakwelelezya sikubala aali apeeji 5]
Mumazuba masyoonto buyo, mwana muvwanda ulakonzya kulizyiba jwi lyabanyina alimwi akuyanda buyo ijwi eelyo kutali lyamuntu uumbi
[Majwi aakwelelezya sikubala aali apeeji 6]
Kuzwa kaindi, mwana najisi myaka yotatwe ulatalika kuzyiba ciluzi acitaluzi, bubi abubotu
[Kabbokesi kali apeeji 6]
KAAMBO BANA NCOBABA AAMACECE
Mubbuku lyakuti New Parent Power, ba John Rosemond bakalemba kuti: “Bazyali bamwi bayeeya kuti mwana ulaba aamacece akaambo kakuti tiibakali kumucitila nzyayanda. Eeci cipandulula kuti, ikuti naa bazyali bakacita cintu cipa mwana kunyema-nyama, beelede kufwambaana kucita cintu ceelede kumana penzi eelyo. Aboobo, akaambo kakuyeeya kuti balubizya kumukasya kucita cintu cimwi, mpoonya balamuzumizya. Ndiza, ciindi nobamana kumuuma mwana, balimvwa kuba aamulandu, mpoonya akaambo kakulimvwa boobo, balamuzumizya kucita zyintu zimwi nzyobamukasyide. Eeyi nzila ilibonya mbuli kuti ilabeleka kuli boonse, kubazyali akumwana. Ciindi mwana aleka kuba aamacece, bazyali balalimvwa kwaanguluka, mpoonya mwana walo, abona kuti macece nenzila mbotu yakujana zyintu, ulazumanana kucita boobo.”