Mumyaka iili mbwiibede yainda, buumi bwacinca cakutayeeyela kumasi aali Kumbo. Aciindi cimwi, bazyali mbabakali kweendelezya, mpoonya bana bakali kutobela bweendelezi bwabazyali. Lino, mumikwasyi imwi, kulibonya kuti bana mbabeendelezya. Mucikozyanyo, amulange-lange bukkale butobela, boonse butondezya zintu zicitika ncobeni.

• Kabali mucintoolo abanyina, mwana uujisi myaka yone wabweza cakusobanya. Banyina basola kumukasya. “Tee ulijisi kale zyakusobanya zinji?” Mpoonya nobaliyeeya, babona kuti anu nobatabuzya mubuzyo. Mwana wabaingula kuti; “Pele mebo ndilaciyanda!” Akaambo kakuyoowa kuti ulatalika macece—cilengwa cakwe—banyina bamuzumizya.

• Mwana musimbi uujisi myaka yosanwe wabanyonganya bausyi nobaambaula abapatinyina. Mpoonya waamba kuti, “Ndalendelelwa, ndiyanda kuunka kuŋanda!” Bausyi bacileka kwaambaula, bamufwugamina mwanaabo, akumulomba mujwi libombe kuti: “Asyoonto buyo mwanaangu.”

• James, uujisi myaka iili 12 alimwi watamikizyigwa kuti wali kukalalila bayi bakwe. Bausyi banyema, kutali kunyemena James, pele kunyemena bayi bakwe. Baambila James kuti, “Lyoonse banyemena buyo nduwe. Ndilabalipoota kubapati-pati bacikolo!”

Bukkale oobu mbwakuyeeyela buyo, pele bulacitika. Butondezya penzi lyancobeni lijanika mumaanda mwalo bazyali mobabalanga buyo bana batajisi bulemu, mobazumizya bana kucita kufwumbwa ncobayanda, alimwi akubakwabilila kuzintu zibi zikonzya kucitika akaambo kakubula bulemu kwabo. Bbuku litegwa The Narcissism Epidemic lyaamba kuti: “Tacigambyi lino kubona bazyali kabapa nguzu kubana babo ibacili baniini. Kaindi, bana bakalizyi ngobakeelede kumvwida.”

Bazyali banji balasoleka kuyiisya bana babo mbobeelede kulilemeka, kutali buyo kwiinda mukubapa citondezyo cibotu pele balabapa alulayo caluyando nokwayandika. Nokuba boobo, bazyali ibabona mbociyandika kucita boobo tabaciti kweelana azilengwa mbubonya mbolyaamba bbuku lyaambwa atala aawa.

Ino zintu zyakatalika buti kuti zisike boobu? Sena lulayo lulapegwa mazuba aano?

Nguzu Nzyobajisi Bazyali Zyaceya

Bamwi baamba kuti nguzu nzyobajisi bazyali zyakatalika kuceya kuma 1960, ciindi basyaazibwene nobakatalika kukulwaizya bazyali kuba babombe kubana babo. Bakaamba kuti: ‘Amube balongwe, kutali basikupa milawo.’ ‘Kulumbaizya nkubotu kwiinda kupa lulayo.’ ‘Muciindi cakululamika bubi, mweelede kubona zibotu nzyobacita bana banu.’ Muciindi cakutondezya mbozyeendelana kulumbaizya akululamika, basyaazibwene kulibonya kuti bakali kwaamba kuti kunyemena bana kulabapa kutalimvwa kabotu akupa kuti kabatabayandi bazyali babo kumbele.

Tiikwakainda ciindi, basyaazibwene bakatalika kusumpula bubotu bwakulyeendelezya. Cakaba mbuli kuti lino bajana nzila mbotu yakukomezya bana yakuti: Amupe kuti bana banu kabalimvwa kabotu. Masimpe, cilayandika kugwasya bana kuti kabalimvwa kabotu. Pele basyaazibwene bakatalika kuciindizya ikwaambila bazyali kuti kabapa bana babo kulimvwa kabotu. Bakali kwaamba kuti: ‘Mutanoobelesyi majwi aatali kabotu mbuli aakuti peepe naa ncibi.’ ‘Amuzumanane ikwaambila bana banu kuti mulabayanda kapati akuti balakonzya kuba kufwumbwa ncobayanda kuba.’ Cakali mbuli kuti kulimvwa kabotu cakali kuyandika kapati kwiinda ikuba muntu uuli kabotu.

Kumamanino, bamwi baamba kuti muzeezo wakuti bana kabalimvwa kabotu wapa buyo bana kubona mbuli kuti beelede kupegwa kufwumbwa ncobayanda. Alimwi kweelana ambolyaamba bbuku litegwa Generation Me, bakubusi banji ‘tiibagwasyigwa kulibambila ncobakonzya kucita kuti banyemenwa naa nobaalilwa kucita cintu cimwi mubuumi. Muzyali umwi waambidwe mubbuku eeli wakaamba kuti: “Bantu kumulimo tabakwe makani naa ulimvwa kabotu naa pe. . . Kuti wapa lipooti iitali kabotu kumulimo, bapati kumulimo tabakaambi kuti, “Eelo kaka wasalide pepa libotu lyakulembela lipooti.’ Kukomezya bana munzila eeyi tacikabagwasyi pe.”

Kucinca-cinca Mizeezo

Kwamyaka minji, nzila zyakukomezya bana zyatondezya kuti bantu lyoonse balacinca-cinca mizeezo. Mwiiyi uutegwa Ronald G. Morrish wakalemba kuti: “Lulayo lupegwa lulacinca-cinca. Citondezya zintu mbozyacinca mubuumi.”a Mbubwenya mbolyaamba Bbaibbele, ncuuba-uba kapati kubazyali ‘kwiibaulwa amayuwe akupepululwa amuwo uuli woonse wanjiisyo zyabantu ziindene-indene.’—Baefeso 4:14.

Cilasalala kuti bukkale buliko lino bwakutabikkila maano kulaya bana, bwapa kuti zintu zibije. Tiibwacesya buyo nguzu nzyobajisi bazyali, pele bwapa kuti bana babule busolozi mbobayandika kutegwa kabasala kabotu zintu akulanganya kabotu zintu mubuumi.

Sena kuli nzila mbotu kwiinda?

MUBWINI, kukomezya bana mulimo muyumu. Pele kutapa lulayo ciindi nokwayandika kucita boobo cipa buyo kuti mulimo wiindile kuyuma. Ino nkaambo nzi? Nkaambo ikuti kakunyina lulayo (1) bana balazumanana kufwubaala, calo ciminya bazyali, alimwi (2) bazyali balacinca-cinca mbobapa lulayo, calo cinyonganya bana.

Kulubazu lumwi, lulayo lupegwa caluyando lulakonzya kuyiisya mbwayelede kuyeeya mwana alimwi ambwayelede kulilemeka. Alimwi lulabagwasya bana kulimvwa kukwabililwa nobayaabukomena. Pele nkuli nkomukonzya kujana busolozi bugwasya mukulaya bana banu?

Mbozigwasya Njiisyo Zyamu Bbaibbele

Balembi bamagazini eeyi, Bakamboni ba Jehova, basyoma kuti Bbaibbele, mbubonya mbolyaamba, ‘lilagwasya mukuyiisya, mukusinsa, mukululamika zintu.’ (2 Timoteyo 3:16) Bbaibbele talili bbuku limuyiisya buyo mbomukonzya kuba muzyali; njiisyo zili mumo zipa busolozi bugwasya kumikwasyi. Amulange-lange zikozyanyo.

BBAIBBELE LYAAMBA KUTI: “Bufwubafwuba bulaangidwe mumoyo wamwana.”—Tusimpi 22:15.

Nokuba kuti bana balakonzya kucita zintu camaano alimwi akuba aluzyalo, pele alimwi balakonzya kucita zintu zyabufwubafwuba. Aboobo, bana bayandika kulaigwa. (Tusimpi 13:24) Kuzyiba kaambo aaka kamasimpe ciyoomugwasya kuzuzikizya mukuli wanu wakuba muzyali.

BBAIBBELE LYAAMBA KUTI: “Utaleki pe kumulaya mwana.”—Tusimpi 23:13.

Tamweelede kuyoowa kuti kubalaya munzila iili kabotu bana banu kuyoobanyonyoona naa kupa kuti kamutamvwani kumbele. Ikuti mwabalaya munzila yaluyando, bayooluzumina cakulibombya lulayo oolo, ibube mbobayooyandika baakukomena.—Bahebrayo 12:11.

BBAIBBELE LYAAMBA KUTI: “Kufwumbwa cintu muntu ncasyanga, ncencico eeco ncayootebula.”—Bagalatiya 6:7.

Bazyali balayanda kukwabilila bana babo alimwi cili kabotu kucita oobo. Nokuba boobo, cilayandika kutaciindizya. Tacili kabotu kubakwabilila bana banu akaambo kakulubizya kwabo, naa kubavwuninina ikuti bayi naa muntu umwi mupati wamwaambila kulubizya nkobacita. Muciindi caboobo, mutababoni kuti mbasinkondonyoko. Kwiinda mukucita boobo, muyiisya bana banu kulemeka bweendelezi—kubikkilizya abweendelezi bwanu.—Bakolose 3:20.

BBAIBBELE LYAAMBA KUTI: “Mwana uulekwa buyo ulajazya banyina nsoni.”—Tusimpi 29:15.

Nokuba kuti bazyali tabeelede kuba bakali, pele alimwi tabeelede kubalendekezya bana babo. Bbuku litegwa The Price of Privilege lyaamba kuti: “Bana ibajisi bazyali babalendekezya tabalimvwi kuti bapati muŋanda mbabeelede kweendelezya.” Ikuti kamutabelesyi nguzu nzyomujisi, mwanaanu ulakonzya kuyeeya kuti nguuyelede kweendelezya. Cakutadooneka, ulasala zintu munzila iitali kabotu calo cikonzya kumupa kuusa walo alimwi andinywe.—Tusimpi 17:25; 29:21.

BBAIBBELE LYAAMBA KUTI: ‘Mwaalumi uyookakatila kumukaintu wakwe, eelyo aaba bobilo bayooba mubili omwe.’—Matayo 19:5.

Kweelana ancolyaamba Bbaibbele, mwaalumi amukaintu beelede kukwatana kabatanazyala bana alimwi beelede kuzumanana kuba antoomwe bana bakomena akuzwa aŋanda. (Matayo 19:5, 6) Munzila iili boobo cikwati ncecisaanguna mubuumi bwanu mpoonya kuba muzyali kuboola mubusena bwabili. Pele, ikuti tiimwacita oobo, mwanaanu ‘unooyeeya kuti ulayandika kapati kwiinda bwini mbwabede.’ (Baroma 12:3) Mukwasyi uubikkila maano kapati kumwana upa kuti cikwati cibe muntenda.

Lugwasyo Kubazyali

Kutegwa mucikonzye kuba muzyali mubotu, lulayo lwanu lweelede kweendelana anjiisyo eezyi zitobela.

Kamuba aluyando. “Mutanoobanyemyi bana banu, kutegwa batatyompwi.”—Bakolose 3:21.

Mutanoocinci-cinci. “Kwaamba kwanu kuti ‘Inzya’ akube inzya, akuti ‘Peepe’ akube peepe.”—Matayo 5:37.

Kamunyoneka. “Ndiyookululamika cansaizi.”—Jeremiya 30:11.a