Wetin I Go Do if People De Talk About Me for My Back?

Why e de pain?

Sometimes, when people talk things for your back, na to spoil your name. But even when the things wey them talk about you for your back no too serious, e still de pain. E de pain more if the person wey de talk bad about you na your friend!​—Psalm 55:12-14.

“When I hear say one of my friend de tell people say I no de care about other people, e really pain me no be small. I no understand why e go talk that kind thing.”​—Ashley.

The truth: Whether na your friend de talk bad about you for your back or no be your friend, e no de sweet to know say people de talk bad about you.

The bad news​—you no go fit stop-am make people no talk about you

Plenty reason dey wey make people de talk about other people. See some of them:

Them really care. God make us to fit care about each other. So na normal thing to talk to other people or talk about them. In fact, Bible encourage us say make we de put mind for “wetin go still benefit other people.”​—Philippians 2:4.

“People de always like to talk about other people matter!”​—Bianca.

“Make I talk truth, I like to know wetin de happen for people life and tell other people about-am. I no just know why I like-am, but e de sweet me to do-am.”​—Katie.

Them no get work. For Bible time, e get some people wey “no de use their free time do anything, instead, them go de listen to or de talk about new thing.” (Acts 17:21) Na so some people still be for this our time!

“Sometimes even when nothing happen wey people fit talk about, some people go just forge story wey no happen so that them go see wetin them go talk about.”​—Joanna.

Fear. No be for nothing Bible warn us say make we no de compare ourself to other people. (Galatians 6:4) The bad thing be say some people de talk bad about other people so that people no go put eye for their body.

“If people de talk bad about other people, e de show say them get problem. Them de talk bad things about other people to make theirself feel good, and to tell theirself say them better pass other people.”​—Phil.

The truth: Whether you like-am or you no like-am, people go always talk about other people and even talk about you.

The good news​—you go fit control how e affect you reach

You no go fit stop people make them no de talk about you, but you fit choose how you go handle-am. If you hear say people de carry your matter up and down, two things dey wey you fit do.

NUMBER 1: Just troway the matter. Many times, the best thing to do when people de talk your matter na to comot-am for mind, especially if wetin them de talk no be true. Follow Bible advice: ‘Make you no de quick vex.’​—Ecclesiastes 7:9.

“E get one time wey people come de talk say I don get boyfriend, and the boy na person wey I never see before! The thing funny, so I just laugh and forget the matter.”​—Elise.

“Na the good name wey person get be the best thing wey fit defend-am when people de talk bad about-am. Even if people de talk bad things about you, when them know you as better person plenty people no go believe wetin them talk. Na the kind person wey you really be go help you win.”​—Allison.

See wetin you fit do: Write (1) wetin them talk about you and (2) how e make you feel. When you sofri think about this two things, e fit make-am easy for you to forget the matter.​—Psalm 4:4.

NUMBER 2: Talk with the person wey start the matter. Sometimes, you fit feel say the thing wey them talk about you too serious, and you really need to talk with the person wey start the matter.

“If you meet the people wey de talk bad about you for your back, e fit help them know say last-last the person wey them de talk about go hear the matter. E go still give you the chance to talk wetin really happen and settle the problem.”​—Elise.

Before you meet the person wey de talk bad about you, think about the Bible advice them wey dey down and the questions wey follow-am.

• “When person de put mouth for matter before e hear the whole story, na foolish thing.” (Proverbs 18:13) ‘I really know everything wey happen? What if the person wey tell me about the matter wey people de talk about no too understand wetin e hear?’

• “Everybody must be person wey ready to listen, wey no de quick talk, and wey no de quick vex.” (James 1:​19) ‘This na the best time for me to meet the person? Na the best way for me to handle the matter be this? Or e go better for me to wait small and go meet-am when my mind don come down?’

• “Treat other people the way you want make them treat you.” (Matthew 7:12, NET Bible) ‘If na me talk bad about other people for their back, how I go like make the person take handle the matter? How and where I go like make the person talk about the matter with me? Which kind word go better and how I go like make the person take talk-am?’

See wetin you fit do: Before you go meet person wey de talk your matter for back, make you write wetin you plan to talk. Then wait for one or two weeks, and read wetin you write again. Check if you go need to change anything for wetin you write. Another thing be say, e good make you discuss-am with your papa and mama or any mature friend wey you get. Ask them wetin them think or say make them give you advice about better way to handle-am.

The truth: Just like many things for our life, you no fit stop people make them no talk bad about you for your back. But the important thing be say, make you no allow that one affect you!