Ukunyamezela—Ngokubaxiweyo Nokunganyamezeli Kwaphela

UBUHLE obuthi ndijonge beNtlambo yaseKashmir bashukumisa isithandi sobulumko senkulungwane ye-16 ukuba sithi: “Ukuba ikho into ekuthiwa yiparadesi, yiyo le!” Ngokucacileyo, sasingenalo nofifi lwento eyayiza kwenzeka kamva kuloo nxalenye yehlabathi. Kwiminyaka emihlanu edluleyo, ubuncinane bangama-20 000 abantu abaye babulawa kumlo owawulapho phakathi kwabazahlulayo (separatists) noMkhosi waseIndiya. Ngoku iphephandaba laseJamani iSüddeutsche Zeitung liwuchaza lo mmandla “njengomfula weenyembezi.” INtlambo yaseKashmir isinika isifundo esilula kodwa esixabisekileyo: Ukungazinyamezeli iimbono zabanye kunokonakalisa indawo ebisenokuba yiparadesi ebukekayo.

Kuthetha ukuthini ukunyamezela iimbono zabanye? Ngokutsho kweCollins Cobuild English Language Dictionary, “ukuba uyanyamezela, uvumela abanye ukuba babe nezimo zengqondo okanye iinkolelo zabo, okanye benze izinto ngendlela ethile, enoba akuvumelani nayo okanye akuyithandi.” Olunjani uphawu ukuba luhle esinokulubonakalisa! Ngokuqinisekileyo siziva sikhululekile xa sikunye nabantu abazihlonelayo iinkolelo nezimo zengqondo zethu, kwanokuba zahlukile kwezabo.

Ukusuka Ekunyamezeleni Ukusa Ekubeni Nguntamo-lukhuni

Isichasi sokunyamezela kukunganyamezeli, okunemilinganiselo eyahlukeneyo. Ukunganyamezeli kusenokuqala ngokungavumelani ngenxa yokungaphangalali kwengqondo nesimilo somnye umntu okanye indlela azenza ngayo izinto. Ukungaphangalali ngengqondo kwenza ubomi bunganandipheki yaye kwenza ubani angazamkeli iimbono ezintsha.

Ngokomzekelo, umntu ongqongqo gqitha usenokungayithandi indlela umntwana adlamke ngayo. Umntu oselula usenokukruqulwa zindlela zokucamngca kothile osele ekhulile kunaye. Cela umntu onocoselelo ukuba asebenze kunye nothile othanda ukulinga yonk’ into le, ibe bobabini baya kukruqulana. Siyintoni isizathu sokuba nezinto abangazithandiyo, bakruquke okanye babe nomsindo? Kungenxa yokuba, kwimeko nganye, omnye ukufumanisa kunzima ukunyamezela isimo sengqondo okanye indlela omnye azenza ngayo izinto.

Xa kukhula ukunganyamezeli, ukungaphangalali ngengqondo kunokukhulela ekubeni likhethe, elikukuchasa iqela, uhlanga okanye unqulo oluthile. Eyona ingaphezu kwekhethe bubuntamo-lukhuni, obunokuzibonakalisa ngentiyo ekrakra. Imiphumo iba lunxunguphalo nokuphalala kwegazi. Khawucinge ngoko ukunganyamezeli kwakhokelela kuko ngexesha leeMfazwe Zomnqamlezo! Unanamhlanje, ukunganyamezeli kungunobangela weemfazwe zaseBosnia, eRwanda, nakuMbindi Mpuma.

Ukunyamezela kufuna ulungelelwano, ibe ukulondoloza ulungelelwano olufanelekileyo akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Sifana nosiba lwewotshi, olusuka kwelinye icala luye kwelinye. Maxa wambi, sibonakalisa umlinganiselo omncinane kakhulu wokunyamezela; maxa wambi siwubonakalisa ngokubaxiweyo.

Ukususela Ekunyamezeleni Ukusa Ekuziphatheni Kakubi

Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba unyamezele ngokugqith’ emgceni? ILungu Lendlu Yeengwevu eUnited States uDan Coats, xa lalithetha ngowe-1993, lachaza “idabi elimalunga noko kuthethwa kukunyamezela.” Lalithetha ukuthini? Eli lungu lebhunga lakhalaza ngelithi ngenxa yokuba besithi bayanyamezela, bambi “bayekile ukukholelwa kwinyaniso engokuziphatha—engokulungileyo nokubi.” Abantu abanjalo bavakalelwa kukuba ibutho labantu alinalungelo lakukhangela ukuba yiyiphi indlela elungileyo nephosakeleyo yokwenza izinto.

Ngowe-1990, ilungu lezobupolitika laseBritani uLord Hailsham labhala lathi “olona tshaba luyingozi lokuziphatha asikokungakholelwa kuThixo, inkolelo yokuba uThixo akanakwaziwa, ukuthanda izinto eziphathekayo, ukubawa okanye nawuphi na omnye koonobangela abaziwayo. Olona tshaba lokuziphatha kukugatya ubunyaniso bezinto, ukukholelwa kwinto nje engekhoyo.” Ngokucacileyo, ukuba sikholelwa kwinto engekhoyo, asinamilinganiselo yokwenza izinto ngendlela efanelekileyo yaye yonke into sinokuyinyamezela. Kodwa ngaba kufanelekile ukunyamezela naluphi na uhlobo lwehambo?

Inqununu yesikolo samabanga aphakamileyo saseDenmark yavakalelwa kukuba akunjalo. Yabhala inqaku lephephandaba ebutsheni beminyaka yee-1970, ikhalazela izibhengezo ezikumaziko eendaba zezinto ezibonisa amanyala nezibonisa iintlobano zesini phakathi kwezilwanyana nabantu. Ezi zibhengezo zazivunyelwa ngenxa yokuba iDenmark “yayinyamezela.”

Ngokucacileyo, kuvela iingxaki ekuboniseni kungekuphela nje ukunyamezela ngomlinganiselo omncinane kodwa nokukubonakalisa ngokubaxiweyo. Kutheni kunzima ukukuphepha ukuzibaxa izinto size sibonakalise ukulungelelana okufanelekileyo? Nceda ufunde inqaku elilandelayo.

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Ukuzikhathaza ngokugqith’ emgceni ngeempazamo zabantwana kunokubonakalisa

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Ukunyamezela nantoni na eyenziwa ngabantwana akuyi kubenza bakwazi ukusingatha iimbopheleleko zobomi