Imbono YeBhayibhile

Ngaba Umtshato Unokusindiswa Emva Kokungathembeki Kwelinye Iqabane?

“Ndithi kuni nabani na oqhawula umtshato nomfazi wakhe, ngaphandle kwangesizathu sohenyuzo, aze atshate omnye uyakrexeza.”—MATEYU 19:9.

NGALOO mazwi uYesu Kristu wayenikela imvume yokuba umKristu azikhethele enoba ufuna ukuwuqhawula umtshato neqabane elingathembekanga.a Noko ke, kuthekani ukuba iqabane elimsulwa likhetha ukuwulondoloza umtshato yaye isibini sigqiba kwelokuba sicombulule size sakhe ulwalamano lwaso kwakhona? Ziziphi iingxaki esinokuzilindela esi sibini, yaye sinokujamelana njani nezo ngxaki ngokuphumelelayo? Makhe sibone indlela iBhayibhile esinceda ngayo siphendule le mibuzo.

Indlu Iyadilizwa

Kuqala kufuneka siqonde ubungakanani bomonakalo obangelwa kukungathembeki kwelinye iqabane. Njengokuba uYesu Kristu wacacisayo, uMsunguli womtshato wayenenjongo yokuba indoda nomfazi ‘bangabi babini, kodwa babe nyama-nye.’ Wongezelela ngelithi: “Ngoko ke, oko uThixo akubophelele ngedyokhwe ndawonye makungabikho mntu ukwahlukanisayo.” Ewe, umtshato wenzelwe ukudibanisa abantu ngokungenakwahlulwa. Xa umntu esaphula isifungo somtshato ngokukrexeza, kubakho imiphumo ebuhlungu.—Mateyu 19:6; Galati 6:7.

Ubungqina boku kukunxunguphala kweqabane elimsulwa. Imiphumo yokukrexeza inokufaniswa naleyo yenkanyamba ediliza amakhaya. UGqr. Shirley P. Glass wathi: “Abaguli abaliqela abaye beza kum bandixelele ukuba bekuya kuba lula kubo ukuba amaqabane abo ebefile.” Kuyavunywa ukuba, bambi babo baye balahlekelwa ngamaqabane abo omtshato ngokufa basenokungavumelani noko. Noko ke, licacile elokuba ukukrexeza kubangela intlungu engcungcuthekisayo. Abanye abantu abakwazi ukuchacha ngokupheleleyo emva kwaloo nkohliso.

Xa ecinga ngokubandezeleka okunjalo, ubani usenokubuza, ‘Ngaba ukukrexeza kufanele kuphelise umtshato?’ Oko akuyomfuneko. Amazwi kaYesu ngokuphathelele ukrexezo abonisa ukuba iqabane elithembekileyo linokhetho olungokweZibhalo lokuba liwuqhawule umtshato kodwa alinyanzelwa ukuba likwenze oko. Ezinye izibini zigqiba kwelokuba zakhe yaye zomeleze oko kwakutshatyalalisiwe, ngokwenza iinguqulelo eziyimfuneko—nangona kungekho nto ikuthethelelayo ukukrexeza.

Kakade ke, kulunge ngakumbi ukwenza iinguqulelo eziyimfuneko kulwalamano lomtshato xa omabini amaqabane ethembekile elinye kwelinye. Noko ke, kwanaxa elinye iqabane liye alathembeka, amanye amaqabane amsulwa akhetha ukuwulondoloza umtshato. Kunokuba lenze izigqibo ngokusekelwe kwindlela elicinga ngayo, iqabane elimsulwa lifanele licingisise nzulu ngemiphumo. Kuya kufuneka licinge ngakumbi ngeemfuno zabantwana balo nezalo zokomoya, zokwemvakalelo, zokwenyama nezemali.b Kwakhona ngobulumko liya kuqwalasela enoba umtshato walo unako ukusindiswa kusini na.

Ngaba Umtshato Unokusinda?

Ngaphambi kokuba azame ukwakha ngokutsha indlu edilizwe yinkanyamba, umakhi umele afumanise enoba inokuphinda ilungiseke kusini na. Ngokufanayo, ngaphambi kokuzama ukwakha kwakhona ulwalamano ebelonakaliswe kukungathembeki kwelinye iqabane, isibini—ngokungakumbi iqabane elithembekileyo—sinokufuna ukwenza uhlolisiso olululo enoba olo lwalamano nokuthembana emtshatweni kunokuphinda kubekho kusini na.

Enye inkalo ekufuneka iqwalaselwe yeyokuba iqabane elinetyala libonakalisa inguquko yokwenene okanye, kunoko, lisakrexeza ‘entliziyweni yalo’ kusini na. (Mateyu 5:27, 28) Nangona livuma ukuguquka, ngaba liyathandabuza ukuluphelisa ngokukhawuleza olu nxulumano lwalo lubi? (Eksodus 20:14; Levitikus 20:10; Duteronomi 5:18) Ngaba lisakhathazwa liliso lalo? Ngaba lityhola umfazi walo ngenxa yokukrexeza kwalo? Ukuba kunjalo, imigudu yokubuyisela ukuthembana emtshatweni ayinakufane iphumelele. Kwelinye icala, ukuba liphelisa oko kuthandana kungekho semthethweni, lize lamkele imbopheleleko yalo ngoko kubi likwenzileyo, lize libonise ukuba lizinikele ngamandla ekwakheni umtshato kwakhona, umfazi walo usenokusibona isizathu sokuba athembe ukuba basenokuphinda bathembane kwakhona.—Mateyu 5:29.

Kwakhona, ngaba iqabane elithembekileyo linokukwazi ukuxolela? Oku akuthethi ukuba alimele lizivakalise iimvakalelo zalo zokukhathazeka ngenxa yoko kwenzekileyo okanye limele lihanahanise ngokungathi akukho nto itshintshileyo. Kuthetha ukuba uya kuzama, emva kwexesha elithile, angaqhubeki enengqumbo enzulu. Ukuxolela okunjalo kuthabatha ixesha kodwa kunokukunceda ulungiselele isiseko esiluqilima apho unokwakhela umtshato kwakhona.

Ukutshayela “Inkunkuma”

Emva kokuba iqabane elithembekileyo ligqibe kwelokuba liwusindise umtshato wabo, ngawaphi amanye amanyathelo amele ukuthatyathwa sesi sibini? Kanye njengokuba inkunkuma esekhayeni ebangelwe yinkanyamba imele isuswe, “inkunkuma” erhangqe umtshato imele itshayelwe. Oku kunokufezwa ngomkhamo othile ukuba isibini sivakalisa iimvakalelo zaso omnye komnye. IMizekeliso 15:22 ithi: “Iingcinga ziyatshitsha ngokungabikho kokucweya.” Igama lesiHebhere eliguqulelwe ngokuthi “ukucweya” libonisa ulwalamano olusenyongweni yaye liguqulelwe ngokuthi “ibhunga elikhulu” kwiNdumiso 89:7. Ngoko ke, oko bekuya kubandakanya, hayi nje incoko yababini, kodwa ukuncokolisana okunyanisekileyo nokusuka entliziyweni apho omabini amaqabane etyhila iimvakalelo zawo ezinzulu.—IMizekeliso 13:10.

Ngokomzekelo, kwezinye iimeko iqabane elithembekileyo lisenokufuna ukumbuza eminye imibuzo umyeni walo. Kwaqala njani oko kuthandana? Kwathabatha ixesha elide kangakanani? Ngubani omnye owaziyo ngako? Kuyavunywa ukuba, kuya kuba buhlungu ngesibini ukuxubusha ngezi nkcukacha. Noko ke, iqabane elithembekileyo lisenokufumanisa ukuba ulwazi olunjalo luyafuneka ukuze baphinde bathembane. Ukuba kunjalo, kuya kuba bubulumko ukuba iqabane elingathembekanga liphendule ngokunyaniseka nangovelwano. Lifanele liyicacise imicimbi ngothando nangobubele, likhumbula ukuba injongo yokubonisana yeyokupholisa amanxeba, hayi ukuwathunuka. (IMizekeliso 12:18; Efese 4:25, 26) Omabini amaqabane kuya kufuneka asebenzise ubulumko, ukuzeyisa, nokuphulaphula ngovelwano njengoko evakalisa iimvakalelo zawo ngoko kwenzekileyo.c—IMizekeliso 18:13; 1 Korinte 9:25; 2 Petros 1:6.

Abo bangamaNgqina kaYehova basenokufuna uncedo kubadala bebandla. Kakade ke, kumaKristu, izono ezinzulu ezinjengokukrexeza zimele zixelwe kubadala bebandla ngokukhawuleza, abantu abanenkxalabo ngempilo-ntle yokomoya yeso sibini neyebandla. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba xa wadibana nabadala, umkrexezi wabonakalisa inguquko yokwenene yaye ngenxa yoko wavunyelwa ukuba ahlale ebandleni. Kwimeko enjalo, abadala basenokunikela uncedo oluqhubekayo kuwo omabini amaqabane.—Yakobi 5:14, 15.

Ukuphinda Wakhe

Emva kokuba isibini sizilungisile iimvakalelo zaso kangangoko kunokwenzeka, sikulungele ngokwaneleyo ukuphinda sakhe iinkalo ezibalulekileyo zomtshato waso. Unxibelelwano olunyanisekileyo lusafuneka. Apho kufumaniseke ubuthathaka, kufuneka kwenziwe iinguqulelo eziyimfuneko.

Ngokuyintloko inguqulelo iya kufuneka kwiqabane elinetyala. Noko ke, iqabane elithembekileyo limele lifeze indima yalo ekomelezeni ubuthathaka obukhoyo emtshatweni. Oku akuthethi ukuba ukukrexeza ibilityala lalo okanye kunokuthetheleleka—akukho ukuzithethelela xa wenze eso sono. (Thelekisa iGenesis 3:12; 1 Yohane 5:3.) Kuthetha ukuba kusenokuba bekukho iingxaki emtshatweni ebezifuna ukuconjululwa. Ukuphinda wakhe kungumsebenzi weqela. Ngaba ikho imfuneko yokomeleza amaqhina othando nosukelo lwenu? Ngaba imisebenzi yokomoya iye yatyeshelwa? Le nkqubo yokufumanisa ubuthathaka obucacileyo nokwenza iinguqulelo eziyimfuneko ibalulekile ekwakheni kwakhona umtshato owonakalisiweyo.

Ukuwunyamekela

Kwanendlu eyakhiwe kakuhle ifuna ukunyanyekelwa. Ngoko, hayi indlela ekubaluleke ngayo ukunyamekela ulwalamano olwakhiwe ngokutsha. Isibini asimele sivumele ukuhamba kwexesha kutshabalalise uzimiselo lwaso lokubambelela kwizigqibo ezitsha. Kunokuba sibe nentliziyo ebuhlungu xa sihlangabezana neengxaki ezingephi, ezinjengokuwela kumgibe wokungancokolisani, ngokukhawuleza simele sithabathe amanyathelo okuzinzisa oko yaye siqhubeke sisenza inkqubela.—IMizekeliso 24:16; Galati 6:9.

Ngaphezu kwako konke, indoda nomfazi bafanele bazibeke kwindawo yokuqala izinto zokomoya, bengazivumeli, okanye umtshato wabo, zibe kwindawo yesibini ngenxa yeminye imibandela. INdumiso 127:1 ithi: “Ukuba akayakhi uYehova indlu, bafumana besaphuka yiyo abakhi bayo.” Kwakhona, uYesu walumkisa: “Wonk’ ubani owevayo la mazwi am aze angawenzi uya kufaniswa nendoda esisidenge, eyakha indlu yayo phezu kwentlabathi. Kwaye yagaleleka imvula zafika nezikhukula nemimoya yavuthuza yabetha kuloo ndlu yaza yadilika, nokuwohloka kwayo kwakukukhulu.”—Mateyu 7:24-27.

Ewe, ukuba imigaqo yeBhayibhile iyatyeshelwa kuba kunzima ukuyisebenzisa, umtshato uya kuhlala usengozini kuvavanyo olulandelayo lokungathembeki. Noko ke, ukuba indoda nomfazi babambelela kwimigaqo yeBhayibhile kuzo zonke izinto, umtshato wabo uya kusikelelwa ngokobuthixo. Kwakhona baya kuba nesizathu esingakumbi sokuthembeka emtshatweni—umnqweno wokukholisa uMsunguli womtshato, uYehova uThixo.—Mateyu 22:36-40; INtshumayeli 4:12.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]