Nceda Abantwana Bakho Baphumelele

XA KUFIKELELWA kumbandela wokukhulisa abantwana, abazali abaninzi balufun’ emanzini ulwalathiso eneneni olukhoyo emakhayeni abo. Inkungu nelanga yeentsapho inayo iBhayibhile, kodwa ihlala ide izale uthuli kwishelufu yeencwadi kunokuba isetyenziswe ekukhuliseni abantwana.

Liyinyaniso elokuba, abaninzi namhlanje bayathandabuza ukusebenzisa iBhayibhile njengesikhokelo sobomi bentsapho. Bayayigatya njengephelelwe lixesha nengqongqo gqitha. Kodwa ukuyihlolisisa ngokunyanisekileyo kuya kutyhila ukuba iBhayibhile iyincwadi eluncedo ezintsatsheni. Makhe sibone indlela eluncedo ngayo.

Imekobume Efanelekileyo

IBhayibhile ixelela ubawo ukuba abajonge abantwana bakhe “njengezithole zomnquma ngeenxa zonke esithebeni [sakhe].” (INdumiso 128:3, 4) Imithi emincinane ayinakukhula ize ithwale iziqhamo ngaphandle kokuba ihlakulelwe kakuhle, igalelwe isichumiso esifanelekileyo, umhlaba namanzi. Ngokufanayo, ukukhulisa umntwana ngendlela ephumelelayo kufuna umsebenzi nenkathalo. Abantwana bafuna imekobume efanelekileyo ukuze bakhule baze baqole.

Into yokuqala efunekayo ukuze kubekho imekobume elolo hlobo luthando—phakathi kwamaqabane omtshato naphakathi kwabazali nabantwana. (Efese 5:33; Tito 2:4) Amalungu eentsapho ezininzi ayathandana kodwa akayiboni imfuneko yokubonakalisa olo thando. Noko ke, khawucinge ngoku: Ngaba unokuqiniseka ukuba uye wanxibelelana nomhlobo ukuba umbhalele ileta ungayifakanga ikhelingi, ingenasitampu okanye ungayithumelanga? Ngokufanayo, iBhayibhile ibonisa ukuba uthando lokwenene lungaphezu kwemvakalelo nje efudumeza intliziyo; lubonakala ngamazwi nangezenzo. (Thelekisa uYohane 14:15 neyoku-1 kaYohane 5:3.) UThixo wamisela umzekelo, echaza uthando analo ngoNyana ngala mazwi: “Lo nguNyana wam, oyintanda, endikholisiweyo nguye.”—Mateyu 3:17.

Ukuncoma

Abazali banokulubonisa njani uthando olunjalo kubantwana babo? Okokuqala, khangela izinto ezilungileyo. Kulula ukufumana impazamo ebantwaneni. Ukungaqoli, ukungabi namava nokuzingca kwabo kubonakala ngeendlela ezininzi mihla le. (IMizekeliso 22:15) Kodwa zininzi izinto ezilungileyo abaya kuzenza suku ngalunye. Ziziphi oya kugxininisa kuzo? UThixo akagxininisi kwiimpazamo zethu kodwa ukhumbula izinto ezilungileyo esizenzayo. (INdumiso 130:3; Hebhere 6:10) Sifanele siqhubane ngendlela efanayo nabantwana bethu.

Omnye umfana uthi: “Ngalo lonke ixesha ndisekhaya, andikhumbuli ndinconywa nangayiphi na indlela—enoba kungenxa yoko ndikufezileyo ekhaya okanye esikolweni.” Bazali, musani ukukutyeshela ukubaluleka koku ebantwaneni benu! Bonke abantwana bafanele banconywe rhoqo ngezinto ezintle abazenzayo. Oko kuya kuyinciphisa ingozi yokuba bakhule ‘befe intliziyo,’ becinga ukuba ayikho into abayenzayo enokuze ilunge.—Kolose 3:21.

Unxibelelwano

Enye indlela efanelekileyo yokubonisa uthando ebantwaneni bakho kukulandela isiluleko esikuYakobi 1:19: ‘Khawuleza ukuva, ucothe ukuthetha, ucothe ukuqumba.’ Ngaba ubenza bathethe ngokukhululekileyo abantwana bakho uze ukuphulaphule ngenyameko oko bakuthethayo? Ukuba abantwana bakho bayazi ukuba uza kubangxolisa bengekagqibi nokuthetha okanye uza kuba ligqabi ngumsindo xa ufumanisa indlela abavakalelwa ngayo, basenongakuxeleli indlela abavakalelwa ngayo. Kodwa ukuba bayazi ukuba uya kuphulaphula ngenyameko, baya kuziva bekhululeke ngakumbi xa bethetha nawe.—Thelekisa IMizekeliso 20:5.

Noko ke, kuthekani ukuba bakuchazela indlela abavakalelwa ngayo oyaziyo ukuba iphosakele? Ngaba ufanele ubhabhazele ngumsindo, ubangxolise okanye ubohlwaye? Kuyavunywa ukuba, ukugqajukelwa ngumsindo ngathi ungumntwana kunokwenza kube nzima ukuba ‘ucothe ukuthetha, ucothe ukuqumba.’ Kodwa khawucinge kwakhona ngomzekelo kaThixo nabantwana bakhe. Ngaba uzenza abonakale esisijama-nkungwini, kangangokuba abantwana bakhe boyike ukumxelelela indlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngokwenene? Hayi! INdumiso 62:8 ithi: “Kholosani ngaye [uThixo] ngamaxesha onke, nina bantu; phalazani intliziyo yenu phambi kwakhe. UThixo ulihlathi kuthi.”

Ngoko xa uAbraham wayekhathazwa sisigqibo sikaThixo sokutshabalalisa izixeko zaseSodom naseGomora, akazange abe madolw’ anzima ukumxelela oku uYise wasemazulwini: “Makube lee kuwe ukwenza ngokwendawo enjalo . . . Umgwebi wehlabathi lonke akayi kwenza okusesikweni yini na?” UYehova akazange amkhalimele uAbraham; Wamphulaphula waza wamthuthuzela. (Genesis 18:20-33) UThixo unomonde ibe uthantamisa ngendlela ephawulekayo, kwanaxa abantwana bakhe bephalaza iimvakalelo ezingafanelekanga nezingekho ngqiqweni.—Yona 3:10–4:11.

Ngokufanayo, abazali kufuneka benze abantwana bazive bekhululekile ukuphalaza imbilini yabo, enoba oko kubakhathaza kangakanani na. Ngoko ukuba umntwana wakho ufike sele enyuk’ apha ngumsindo, phulaphula. Kunokuba umngxolise, yamkele indlela avakalelwa ngayo umntwana uze umcele achaze izizathu zokuba avakalelwe ngolo hlobo. Ngokomzekelo, usenokuthi: ‘Ubonakala ekucaphukisile uzibani-bani. Ungandixelela ukuba ukwenze ntoni?’

Ukulawula Umsindo

Kambe ke, akukho mzali unomonde njengoYehova. Ibe ngokuqinisekileyo abantwana basenokuwulinga umonde wabazali babo ngendlela enganyamezelekiyo. Ukuba ukhe ucatshukiswe ngabantwana bakho maxa wambi, ungakhathazeki ucinge ukuba oku kukwenza umzali ongafanelekanga. Maxa wambi, kuya kube kufanelekile ukuba ucaphuke. Efanele uThixo uyacatshukiswa ngabantwana bakhe, kwanabo abathanda gqitha. (Eksodus 4:14; Duteronomi 34:10) Noko ke, iLizwi lakhe lisifundisa ukuba siwulawule umsindo wethu.—Efese 4:26.

Njani? Maxa wambi kuyanceda ukukhe uzibambe kangangemizuzu embalwa ukuze umsindo wakho uthothe. (IMizekeliso 17:14) Ibe khumbula, Ngumntwana lo! Musa ukulindela ukuba enze izinto okanye acinge njengomntu okhulileyo. (1 Korinte 13:11) Ukuqonda isizathu sokuba umntwana wakho enze izinto ngendlela ethile kunokuwuthothisa umsindo onawo. (IMizekeliso 19:11) Ungaze uwulibale umahluko omkhulu phakathi kokwenza okungendawo nokuba ngumntu ongendawo. Ukungxolisa umntwana usithi ungongendawo kunokubangela umntwana azibuze, ‘Ndisayenzela ntoni imizamo yokwenza okulungileyo?’ Kodwa ukumlungisa ngothando umntwana kuya kumnceda aphucule kwixesha elizayo.

Ukulondoloza Ucwangco Nentlonelo

Ukufundisa abantwana ukuba nocwangco nentlonelo lolunye ucelomngeni olukhulu abajamelene nalo abazali. Kwihlabathi lanamhlanje likavula-zibhuqe, abaninzi bayazibuza enoba kufanelekile kusini na ukubabekela imiqathango abantwana babo. IBhayibhile iphendula ngelithi: “Intonga nesohlwayo sinika ubulumko; ke yena umntwana oyekelelweyo udanisa unina.” (IMizekeliso 29:15) Bambi abalithandi igama elithi “intonga,” becinga ukuba libhekisela kuhlobo oluthile lokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana. Kodwa akunjalo. Igama lesiHebhere elithetha “intonga” libhekisela kumsimelelo, njengalowo usetyenziswa ngumalusi ekukhapheleni—kungekhona ukuhlasela—izimvu zakhe.a Ngoko intonga imela uqeqesho.

EBhayibhileni, ngokuyintloko ukuqeqesha kuthetha ukufundisa. Kungenxa yoko incwadi yeMizekeliso isitsho kangangezihlandlo ezine ukuba, ‘yivani uqeqesho.’ (IMizekeliso 1:8; 4:1; 8:33; 19:27) Abantwana kufuneka bafunde ukuba ukwenza okulungileyo kunomvuzo ibe ukwenza okuphosakeleyo kunemiphumo emibi. Isohlwayo sinokunceda ekubetheleleni ukungafaneleki kokwenza ngendlela ephosakeleyo, kanye njengokuba umvuzo—ofana nokuncoma—unokubethelela ukuba wenze ngendlela efanelekileyo. (Thelekisa iDuteronomi 11:26-28.) Abazali benza kakuhle ukulinganisa umzekelo kaThixo ekohlwayeni, kuba waxelela abantu bakhe ukuba uya kubohlwaya “ukusa kumlinganiselo ofanelekileyo.” (Yeremiya 46:28, NW) Abanye abantwana bakhawuleza babuyis’ unyawo xa umana ubangxolisa. Abanye bafuna imilinganiselo eqatha. Kodwa ukohlwaya “ukusa kumlinganiselo ofanelekileyo” akunakuze kuquke nantoni na enokwenzakalisa umntwana ngokweemvakalelo nasemzimbeni.

Ukuqeqesha ngendlela elungeleleneyo kufanele kuquke ukufundisa abantwana ngemida nemiqathango. Eminye yayo icaciswe kakuhle kwiLizwi likaThixo. IBhayibhile ifundisa ukuhlonelwa kwemida ejikeleze indawo yomnye umntu. (Duteronomi 19:14) Ibeka imida elawula umntu ngokobuqu, ibonisa ukuphosakala kokuthanda ugonyamelo okanye ukwenzakalisa abanye ngabom. (INdumiso 11:5; Mateyu 7:12) Ibeka imida ngokuphathelele isini, iwugweba umbulo. (Levitikus 18:6-18) Iyayamkela imida yobuqu nengokweemvakalelo, isalela ukuba sityibele abanye ngezithuko okanye sisebenzise ezinye iindlela zokuthuka. (Mateyu 5:22) Ukufundisa abantwana ngale miqathango nale mida—ngamazwi nangomzekelo—kubalulekile ekwakheni imekobume entle yentsapho.

Esinye isikhokelo sokulondoloza ucwangco nentlonelo entsatsheni sixhomekeke ekuqondeni indima yomntu ngamnye entsatsheni. Kwiintsapho ezininzi namhlanje, iindima ezinjalo ziye zafiphala okanye zabhidaniswa. Kwezinye, umzali uzityand’ igila ngeengxaki ezinzima emntwaneni, ngxaki ezo umntwana angenamandla okuzithwala. Kwezinye, abantwana bayavunyelwa ukuba babe ngoozwilakhe abancinane, besenzela intsapho yonke izigqibo. Oko kuphosakele ibe kuyingozi. Abazali banembopheleleko yokunyamekela iimfuno zabantwana babo abaselula—enoba zingokwasemzimbeni, zingokweemvakalelo okanye zezokomoya—ingengobantwana abafanele benjenjalo kubazali. (2 Korinte 12:14; 1 Timoti 5:8) Khawucinge ngomzekelo kaYakobi, owalungelelanisa isantya sentsapho namahlakani akhe onke ukuze abantwana bangasindwa. Wakuqonda ukusikelwa kwabo umda waza wenza ngokuvisisana noko.—Genesis 33:13, 14.

Ukunyamekela Iintswelo Zokomoya

Ayikho into ebalulekileyo kwimekobume entle yentsapho kunokuxhalabela izinto zokomoya. (Mateyu 5:3) Abantwana batyekele kakhulu kwizinto zokomoya. Banentaphane yemibuzo: Kutheni siphila? Ngubani owenza umhlaba nezilwanyana ezikuwo, imithi, iilwandle? Kutheni abantu besifa? Yintoni eyenzekayo emva koko? Kutheni izinto ezimbi zisehlela abantu abalungileyo? Singayibala kutshon’ ilanga imibuzo abanayo. Ngokufuthi, ngabazali abakhetha ukungacingi kwaukucinga ngezinto ezinjalo.b

IBhayibhile ibongoza abazali ukuba bachithe ixesha ekuqeqesheni abantwana babo ngokomoya. Ithetha ngoqeqesho olunjalo ngendlela ebonisa umsa njengencoko eqhubekayo phakathi kwabazali nabantwana. Abazali banokufundisa abantwana babo ngoThixo nangeLizwi lakhe xa behamba kunye, behleli kunye endlwini, xa beza kulala—nanini na kunokwenzeka.—Duteronomi 6:6, 7; Efese 6:4.

IBhayibhile ayipheleli nje ekuyincomeni inkqubo enjalo yokomoya. Kwakhona ikunika iindlela onokuzisebenzisa. Ngapha koko, ubuya kuyiphendula njani imibuzo yabantwana ekhankanywe ngasentla? IBhayibhile inazo iimpendulo. Zicacile, zinika umdla, ibe zinik’ ithemba kweli hlabathi lingenathemba. Kanti okude kwakuhle ngakumbi kukuba, ukufumana ubulumko obuseBhayibhileni kunokunika abantwana bakho iankile eqinileyo, olona khokelo luqinisekileyo kula maxesha anamhlanje adidayo. Banike oko, ibe baya kuphumelela ngokwenene—ngoku nakwikamva.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 11]

Khangela indlela onokumncoma ngayo ngokungqalileyo nangokuthe rhoqo umntwana wakho

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 9]

Indlela Yokunceda abantwana Baphumelele

• Benze bakhuseleke ukuze bazive bethandwa yaye befunwa

• Bancome rhoqo. Ngqala

• Yiba ngumphulaphuli olungileyo

• Zibambe kancinane xa ugqajukelwa ngumsindo

• Beka imida ecacileyo, nengaguquguqukiyo

• Qeqesha ngokweentswelo zomntwana ngamnye

• Musa ukulindela okungakumbi ngendlela engekho ngqiqweni kumntwana wakho

• Nyamekela iimfuno zokomoya ngokufundisisa rhoqo iLizwi likaThixo

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 10]

Yachaza Kusengaphambili

IMIYALELO yeBhayibhile yanceda abantu boSirayeli wamandulo ukuba banandiphe umlinganiselo wentsapho owawuphakame lee kunalowo weentlanga ezazibangqongile. Umbhali-mbali uAlfred Edersheim uthi: “Kwabo babengaphandle kwemida yakwaSirayeli, kwakuyinto enqabe okwezinyo lenkuku ukuthetha ngokufaneleka kobomi bentsapho, okanye kwanentsapho, njengoko siwaqonda la mabinzana.” Ngokomzekelo, ngokomthetho wamaRoma amandulo ubawo wayengumakhonya entsatsheni. Wayenokubathengisa abantwana bakhe ukuba babe ngamakhoboka, abaqeshe njengabasebenzi, okanye ababulale—aze angohlwaywa.

Amanye amaRoma ayecinga ukuba amaYuda ayesenza into engaqhelekanga ngokubaphatha kakuhle abantwana bawo. Enyanisweni, umbhali-mbali womRoma wenkulungwane yokuqala uTacitus wabhala amazwi abonisa intiyo ngamaYuda, esithi amanye amasiko awo “ayegqwethekile yaye enezothe.” Noko ke, walivuma elokuba: “Kukwaphula umthetho kuwo ukubulala imveku esandul’ ukuzalwa.”

IBhayibhile yanikela umlinganiselo ophakamileyo. Yafundisa amaYuda ukuba abantwana baxabisekile—eneneni ayemele abajonge njengelifa elivela kuThixo—ibe babemele baphathwe ngokwaloo ndlela. (INdumiso 127:3) Kuyabonakala ukuba abaninzi babephila ngokuvisisana neso siluleko. Nolwimi lwabo lwalutyhila oko. UEdersheim uthi ngaphandle kwamagama athi unyana okanye intombi, amaHebhere amandulo ayeneendlela ezisithoba zokubiza abantwana, nganye kuzo ibhekisela kwinqanaba elahlukileyo lobomi. Ngokomzekelo, umntwana owanyayo wayenegama ibe naxa elunyulwe wayeba nelinye. Kubantwana abasele bethe dlundlu noko, kwakukho igama elalibonisa ukuba babesomelela yaye besiba namandla. Ibe ulutsha olusele lukhulile, lwalunegama ngokoqobo elalithetha ‘ukuzidlikidla ukuze akhululeke.’ UEdersheim uthi: “Ngokuqinisekileyo, abo babebabukela ngomdla abantwana ukuze babe namagama awo onke amanqanaba okukhula kwabo, bamele ukuba babebathanda gqitha abantwana babo.”