Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ukwenza Amadinga Uselula—Ngaba Kukho Ingozi?

“Mvanje, amakhwenkwe athile esikolweni acela ukuba ndenze amadinga nawo okanye ndithandane nawo.”—UBecky, oneminyaka eli-11 ubudala.a

“Inkoliso yabantwana basesikolweni sethu yenza amadinga. Enyanisweni, asingomnqa ukubona amakhwenkwe namantombazana encamisana ezipasejini.”—ULiana, umfundi webanga lesibhozo.

ULUTSHA oluninzi luqalisa ukwenza amadinga luselula. Amajelo eendaba ayakukhuthaza oku njengento eqhelekileyo—ngokungathi kukuzonwabisa okungeyongozi. UOneyda oneminyaka eli-12 ubudala uthi: “Phantse wonk’ ubani esikolweni unenkwenkwe okanye intombi athandana nayo.” Ibhinqa eliselula uJenifer uthi: “Ndikhumbula abantwana abakwibanga lokuqala ababesenza amadinga.” Wongezelela ngelithi: “Ndaqalisa ukuziva ndinyanzelekile ukuba ndenze amadinga xa ndandineminyaka eli-11 ubudala.”

Ngoko, kuyaqondakala ukuba, xa kungekho mntu wenza amadinga naye, unokuziva ulilolo. Eneneni, unokude wenziwe intlekisa uze ugculelwe ngenxa yokuba ungenjinjalo. Evakalelwa kukuba usemncinane ukuba angenza amadinga, uJenifer wayewabhebhetha amakhwenkwe acela uthando kuye. Ayedla ngokuvakalelwa njani? UJenifer uthi: “Ayehlekisa ngam yaye eyenza into yokudlala loo nto.” Akakho umntu othanda ukuba kwenziwe intlekisa ngaye. Kodwa ngaba umele wenze amadinga nje ngenxa yokuba abanye besenjenjalo? Eneneni kuyintoni ukwenza amadinga? Yaye yintoni injongo yako?

Kuyintoni Ukwenza Amadinga?

Nangona luchitha ixesha elininzi nomntu wesini esahlukileyo, ulutsha oluninzi lunokuthi: ‘Asenzi madinga okuthandana. Singabahlobo nje.’ Kodwa nokuba ukubiza njani—ukwenza amadinga okuthandana, ukuphuma kunye okanye ukubonana—xa inkwenkwe nentombi bezahlula kwisininzi baze baqalise ukuchitha ixesha kunye bezonwabisa, ngokuqhelekileyo kudla ngokubandakanyeka okungaphezulu kunobuhlobo nje. Yaye akunyanzelekanga ukuba ukwenza amadinga kuthethe ukuba umntu lowo ukho ngokoqobo. Ukuncokola nge-Internet, ngomnxeba, ngembalelwano okanye nge-E-mail kunokuba zezinye iindlela zokwenza amadinga.

Umbuzo ngulo, Ngumbandela onzulu kangakanani ukuchitha ixesha uwedwa nomntu wesini esahlukileyo?

Ukwenza Amadinga—Iingozi

KwiMizekeliso 30:19, iBhayibhile ithetha ‘ngendlela yendoda eyomeleleyo kunye nentombi.’ La mazwi abonisa ukuba ubuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nebhinqa budla ngokuthabatha ikhondo elithile. Xa bobabini bekhule ngokwaneleyo yaye bebambelele ngokuqinileyo kwimilinganiselo yobuthixo yokuziphatha, ukwenza amadinga kunokukhokelela ekuthandaneni, kuze ekugqibeleni, kukhokelele kumtshato obekekileyo. Ngapha koko, uThixo wadala indoda nomfazi ukuba batsaleleke omnye komnye. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba akukho mdala ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungatshata? Ngokwenza amadinga uselula, uzinqikel’ ilitye elineembovane.

Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba xa uchitha ixesha elininzi nomntu wesini esahlukileyo, yinto yokwemvelo ukuba uya kuvuseleleka ngokwesini. Ungaqondanga, uya kufuna ukuphinda umbone. Xa ningekho kunye, ucinga ngaye. Noko ke, ngokufuthi iimvakalelo ziba calanye—yaye omnye wenu uza kukhathazeka. Yaye kwanaxa nineemvakalelo ezithile omnye ngomnye, kudla ngokubakho unxunguphalo nokudandatheka xa omnye wenu engaqolanga okanye engekho mdala ngokwaneleyo ukuba angatshata. Enyanisweni, siya kuba yintoni isiphelo solwalamano olunjalo? Umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi: “Ngaba umntu unokuwufumba na umlilo esifubeni sakhe zize izambatho zakhe zingatshi?”—IMizekeliso 6:27.

Cinga ngoselula ogama linguNina. Uthi: “Ndathetha nenye inkwenkwe kwi-Internet. Sasidla ngokuthetha kangangeeyure yonke imihla. Ndatsaleleka kuyo, yaye yayisele iyinxalenye yobomi bam. Olo lwalamano aluzange luthabathe ithuba elide. Ukuphela kwalo ndadandatheka kakhulu. Yandula ke, yanditsalela umnxeba yaza yandixelela ukuba iza kuzibulala ngenxa yokuba sahlukene. Oku kwandidandathekisa nangakumbi.” Xa ekhangela emva, uNina uqukumbela ngelithi: “Kwakungekho mfuneko yokuba ndizikhathaze ngaloo ndlela! Ulwalamano lwethu lwaphela kwiminyaka emibini edluleyo, kodwa ndisadandathekile.” UNina wayemncinane kakhulu ukuba angazibandakanya nomnye umntu.

Okubangel’ umdla kukuba, xa iBhayibhile ithetha ‘ngendlela yendoda eyomeleleyo kunye nentombi,’ inokuba ithetha ngeentlobano zesini. Kwihlabathi lanamhlanje, ukwenza amadinga kudla ngokuba yingabula-zigcawu yeentlobano zesini. Kunokuqala ngenjongo emsulwa, ukubambana ngezandla nje kuphela. Kulandele ukwangana nje ixesha elifutshane nokuncamisana esidleleni. Yinto eyahluke kwaphela xa abantu abakhule ngokwaneleyo abazinikele ngokupheleleyo omnye komnye bebonisa uthando ngaloo ndlela. Kodwa xa abantu ababini bebancinane kakhulu ukuba bangatshata, izenzo ezinjalo zenza okungakumbi kunokuvuselela nje umnqweno wesini ngokungeyomfuneko. Iindlela “zokubonakalisa uthando” zinokuba zezingafanelekanga okanye ezingcolileyo. Zinokude zikhokelele kuhlobo oluthile lohenyuzo.b

Ibuhlungu ngendlel’ emangalisayo imiphumo yohenyuzo. Bambi ababandakanyeka kulo basulelwa zizifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini. Abanye baphelelwa sisidima baze bonakalise isazela sabo. Wambi amantombazana aselula ade akhulelwe. Kungeso sizathu le nto iBhayibhile inikela lo myalelo: “Sabani kulo uhenyuzo”! (1 Korinte 6:13, 18; 1 Tesalonika 4:3) Ukuphepha ukwenza amadinga uselula kuya kukunceda uthobele lo myalelo.

Ixesha Lokuqalisa Ukwenza Amadinga

Oku akuthethi ukuba akunakuze uwenze amadinga. Kodwa ukuba uselula, usexesheni iBhayibhile elibiza ngokuthi ‘yintlahla yobutsha.’ (1 Korinte 7:36) Uqalisa ukuba yindoda okanye ibhinqa oza kuba lilo ekugqibeleni. Ebudeni beli xesha, uyakhula emzimbeni, engqondweni nangokwesini. Iimvakalelo zakho—kuquka neminqweno yesini—kusenokwenzeka ukuba zikwelona nqanaba liphezulu ebomi bakho. Noko ke, ezo mvakalelo zinokuguquka ngokukhawuleza. Ngenxa yeso sizathu, ulwalamano phakathi kwabantu abaselula ludla ngokuthabatha ixesha elifutshane. Enye intombazana eselula ithi: “Xa ndandisenza amadinga, yayidla ngokuba ngumlilo wamaphepha, into ethabatha iveki ize iphele.”

Ngokucacileyo, akukho ngqiqweni ukwenza amadinga ngexesha ‘lentlahla yobutsha.’ Kuhle ukulinda de uzazi kakuhle, wazi izinto ozithandayo nozithiyileyo, nosukelo lwakho ebomini. Kwakhona, umele ube ukhule ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungakwazi ukusingatha iimbopheleleko zomtshato. Ngokomzekelo, uYehova ulindele ukuba indoda yanelise iintswelo zentsapho yayo—ezingokwasemzimbeni, ngokwezinto eziphathekayo nangokomoya. Ukuba uyinkwenkwe eselula, ngaba ukulungele ukufumana umsebenzi uze unyamekele umfazi mhlawumbi nabantwana? Ngaba uza kukwazi ukubanceda bahlale bomelele ngokomoya? Yaye kuthekani ukuba uyintombi eselula? Kulindeleke ukuba umfazi athande aze athobele umyeni wakhe; umele axhase izigqibo azenzayo. Ngaba ngokwenene ukulungele ukwenjenjalo ixesha elide? Kwakhona, ngaba ukulungele ukunyamekela iimbopheleleko zekhaya ngokuqhubekayo—ukupheka nokunyamekela abantwana?—Efese 5:22-25, 28-31; 1 Timoti 5:8.

Ukuzekelisa: Kumazwe aseNtshona abantu abaselula banomnqweno wokuqhuba inqwelo-mafutha yentsapho. Kodwa yintoni umntu oselula amele ayenze ngaphambi kokuba avunyelwe ukuba enjenjalo? Kumazwe amaninzi umele aqeqeshwe aze ahlolwe ngaphambi kokuba anikwe imvume. Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba ukuqhuba yimbopheleleko enkulu. Ubomi bakho nobabanye abantu buza kuba sezandleni zakho xa uqhuba. Ngoko, nomtshato yimbopheleleko ebalulekileyo! Njengomntu oselula, kusenokwenzeka ukuba akukulungelanga ukutshata. Ngoko, kuya kuba bubulumko ukuxhathisa umoya wokufuna ukwenza amadinga, ekubeni ukwenza amadinga ilinyathelo elikhokelela ekufumaneni iqabane lomtshato. Ngamany’ amazwi: Ukuba akukulungelanga ukutshata, akumele wenze amadinga.

Ukuze wenze isigqibo sobulumko ngokuphathelele oku, ufuna oko iBhayibhile ikubiza ngokuthi ‘lulwazi namandla okucinga.’ (IMizekeliso 1:4) Ngoko, kunokuba yinto entle ukusebenzisa ulwazi namava abo sele bekhulile. Abazali abangamaKristu badla ngokuba ngabona banokukunceda uzihlole enoba ukulungele kusini na ukutshata. Kwakhona unokuthanda ukufumana amacebiso kumalungu ebandla lamaKristu aqolileyo. Ukuba abazali bakho abafuni ukuba wenze amadinga, wenza kakuhle ukubaphulaphula. Umnqweno wabo kukukunceda ‘unqande intlekele.’—INtshumayeli 11:10.

Ukuba bavakalelwa kukuba akukulungelanga ukwenza amadinga, basenokukucebisa ukuba okwakalokunje, kunokuba unikel’ ingqalelo kumntu omnye, uzenzele abahlobo abaninzi. Ukunxulumana nabantu abatshatileyo nabangatshatanga, abadala nabancinane kuquka nabo balingana nawe, kunokukunceda wakhe ubuntu bakho uze ubujonge ngendlela efanelekileyo ubomi nomtshato.

Ukulinda ude ube ukulungele ukwenza amadinga akuyi kuba lula. Kodwa kunomvuzo omkhulu. Ngokusebenzisa ixesha ‘lentlahla yobutsha’ uze ukhule ube ngumntu oqolileyo nonenkathalo, uya kuphepha uthotho lweengxaki. Uya kuzipha ithuba lokukhula ube luhlobo lomntu olukwaziyo ukusingatha iingcinezelo neembopheleleko zomtshato. Kwakhona uya kuzinika ithuba lokukhula ngokomoya. Ngaloo ndlela, xa sele ukulungele ukwenza amadinga, abanye baya kukujonga njengomntu ekulungileyo ukwazana naye.

Ukuba ungayivuyela inkcazelo engakumbi okanye ungathanda ukuba uthile eze ekhayeni lakho ukuze akuqhubele isifundo seBhayibhile sesisa, nceda ubhale, uthumele igama nedilesi ohlala kuyo kule dilesi, AmaNgqina KaYehova, Private Bag X2067, Krugersdorp, 1740, South Africa, okanye kwidilesi efanelekileyo kwezidweliswe kwiphepha 5.

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