Umonakalo Obangelwa Kukuthanda Amanyala — IWatchtower LAYBRARI EKWI-INTANETHI

Umonakalo Obangelwa Kukuthanda Amanyala

ZONKE nje izinto ezibonisa isini ngokuphandle zifumaneka lula kumabonwakude, kwiimovie, kwiividiyo zomculo, nakwi-Internet. Ngaba ukubethelelwa kangaka kwamanyala nesini ezingqondweni akuyongozi, njengoko abaninzi befuna sicinge ngolo hlobo?a

Umphumo Wamanyala Kubantu Abakhulileyo

Enoba bathini abo bawamelayo, amanyala anokuba nempembelelo embi gqitha kwindlela abantu abasijonga ngayo isini. Abaphengululi beNational Foundation for Family Research and Education bagqiba ngelithi “ukubukela amanyala kunokuchanaba abantu kwizenzo zesini ezingamanyundululu.” Ngokutsho kwengxelo yabo, “intsomi ephathelele ukudlwengula (into yokuba, amabhinqa ayazibizela yaye ayakuthanda ukudlwengulwa, yaye akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngabantu abadlwengulayo) iqheleke gqitha kumadoda aphila ngokubukela amanyala.”

Abanye abaphengululi bathi ukuphila ngokubukela amanyala kunokuphazamisana nokunandipha iintlobano zesini emtshatweni. UGqr. Victor Cline, oyingcali enceda abo bakhotyokiswe sisini, naye uyiphawule into yokuba baninzi abantu abathanda amanyala. Ukuba umntu akazilawuli, usenokuqala ngokubisa nje ukubukela amanyala ade ekugqibeleni abukele izenzo zesini ezingamanyundululu. Uthi, loo nto inokukhokelela ekubeni afune ukuzenza ezo zinto. Neengcali ezijongene nendlela yabantu yokwenza izinto ziyavumelana naye. UGqr. Cline unikela ingxelo yokuba “naziphi na izenzo zesini ezingamanyundululu zifundwa ngolu hlobo . . . yaye umntu akanakukwazi ukwahlukana nazo, enoba uzisola kangakanani na.” Ekugqibeleni, umntu obukela ezo zinto unokuzama ukwenza la manyala namanyundululu ebewabukele, ize imiphumo ingabi mihle.

UCline uqukumbela ngelithi le ngxaki isenokuqala ngendlela engaqondakaliyo. Uthi: “Ikhula ize inwenwe kanye njengomhlaza. Ayibuyi ngamva yaye kunzima gqitha nokuyinyanga. Iqhelekile ke into yokuba amadoda angamakhoboka amanyala angafuni kuyamkela ingxaki yawo, yaye loo nto ikhokelela kwiingxabano zomtshato nokungevani kwezibini, kude kuqhawuke imitshato, mhlawumbi maxa wambi kude kuqhawuke nolwalamano umntu analo nabanye abantu.”

Umonakalo Owenzeka Kwabaselula

Uhlolisiso lubonisa ukuba abona bantu bazithenga kakhulu izinto ezibonisa amanyala ngamakhwenkwe akwiminyaka eli-12 neli-17 ubudala. Enyanisweni, kuninzi lwawo amanyala angumthombo oyintloko wemfundo ephathelele isini. Oku kuye kwanemiphumo ebuhlungu ngokwenene. Enye ingxelo ithi: “Izinto ezibonisa amanyala azithethi nokuthetha ngokumitha kwabakwishumi elivisayo nangezifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini njengoGawulayo, nto leyo elahlekisayo nebenza bacinge ukuba indlela yokwenza izinto ekhuthazwa ngamanyala ayinabungozi kwaphela.”

Abanye abaphengululi bathi ukuqhelana namanyala kunokuphazamisana nokukhula okuqhelekileyo kwengqondo yomntwana. UGqr. Judith Reisman, ongumongameli weInstitute for Media Education, uqukumbela ngelithi: “Uphengululo ngendlela imithambo-luvo ethumela ngayo engqondweni amanyala nezandi ezibandakanyekileyo ludiza ukuba, ukubukela amanyala kujija ingqondo, kuyenza ingasebenzi kakuhle—yaye kuyingozi kwiingqondo [ezithambileyo] ‘neziselula’ zabantwana kuba kubenza bangaboni izinto ngendlela eyiyo, konakalise nobuntu babo kuze kubenze babe nembono egqwethekileyo ngolonwabo.”

Impembelelo Anayo Kulwalamano Lwabantu

Amanyala ayakwazi ukubumba ubuntu bakho nendlela owenza ngayo izinto. Anomtsalane ngenxa yokuba aliphupha nje yaye ngenxa yoko enziwa abe yinto enandipheka gqitha kunokuba kunjalo ngokwenene. (Bona ibhokisi ethi “Yiyiphi Imbono Oyamkelayo?”) Enye ingxelo ithi: “Abantu ababukela amanyala bakha ulindelo olungekho ngqiqweni, nto leyo eyonakalisa ulwalamano lwabantu.”

Amanyala anokuphelisa ukuthembana nokuthetha phandle, zinto ezo ezibaluleke ngokwenene emtshatweni. Ngenxa yokuba ixesha elininzi amanyala edla ngokubukelwa emfihlakalweni, oko kukhokelela ekuqhatheni nasekuxokeni. Amaqabane adla ngokuziva engcatshiwe. Adla ngokungasiqondi isizathu sokuba amaqabane awo omtshato engasawathandi.

Ayingozi Kwimeko Yokomoya

Amanyala anokubangela ingozi enkulu yokomoya. Anokuba ngumqobo kumntu ofuna ukwakha ulwalamano noThixo.b IBhayibhile inxibelelanisa inkanuko yesini nokubawa kwakunye nonqulo-zithixo. (Kolose 3:5) Umntu obawela into uyifuna gqitha ide ibe yeyona nto iphambili ebomini bakhe, angabi sazibona ezinye. Eneneni, abo bangamakhoboka okubukela amanyala babeka iminqweno yabo yesini ngaphezu koThixo. Bayenza isithixo. UYehova uThixo wayalela ngelithi: “Uze ungabi nathixo bambi ngokuchasene nam.”—Eksodus 20:3.

Amanyala aphelisa ulwalamano lokuthandana. Umpostile uPetros, owayeyindoda etshatileyo, wabongoza amadoda angamaKristu ukuba abanike imbeko abafazi bawo. Indoda engakwenziyo oko iya kwenza imithandazo yayo kuThixo ithinteleke. (1 Petros 3:7) Ngaba ubuya kuba umnika imbeko umfazi wakho ukuba ububukela imifanekiso engcolileyo emfihlakalweni? Uya kuvakalelwa njani xa ekufumanisa oko? Kanti uya kucinga ntoni yena uThixo oya kuzisa ‘ekugwetyweni lonke uhlobo lomsebenzi’ ‘nocikida umoya’? (INtshumayeli 12:14; IMizekeliso 16:2) Ngaba umntu obukela amanyala unaso isizathu sokulindela ukuba imithandazo yakhe iphulaphulwe nguThixo?

Eyona nto ibalaseleyo emanyaleni kukufuna ukuzanelisa nokuba sekumnyam’ entla. Ngoko ukubukela amanyala kukungabi naluthando. Awugalel’ amanzi umgudu womKristu wokulondoloza ubunyulu nokuziphatha kakuhle phambi kukaThixo. Umpostile uPawulos wabhala wathi: “Kukuthanda kukaThixo, ukuba nikhwebuke kuhenyuzo; ukuze ngamnye wenu akwazi ukusizuza esakhe isitya ngobungcwalisa nembeko, kungekhona ngenkanuko yesini . . . , ukuze kungabikho nabani owona umzalwana wakhe kulo mbandela.”—1 Tesalonika 4:3-7.

Eyona nto yenziwa ngamanyala kukuxhaphaza amabhinqa nabantwana. Ayindlela yokubajongela phantsi, athoba isidima sabo yaye abahlutha amalungelo abo. Umntu obukela amanyala unegalelo yaye uyakuxhasa oko kuxhaphaza. Umphengululi uSteven Hill noNina Silver bathi: “Indoda ingafane nje . . . icinge ukuba ibhetele, kodwa ukuba iwaqhwabel’ izandla amanyala, [ayinavelwano], iwathiy’ egazini amabhinqa, nditsho nalo mntu ithi yona imkhathalele.”

Ukwahlukana Nomkhwa Wokuthand’ Amanyala

Kuthekani ukuba umhokamhokana nokukhotyokiswa ngamanyala? Ngaba ikho indlela yokuphuncula? IBhayibhile inika ithemba! Ngaphambi kokwazi uKristu, amaKristu enkulungwane yokuqala ayesenza umbulo, ekrexeza yaye ebawa. UPawulos wathi: “Kodwa niye nahlanjwa nahlambuluka.” Kwakunokwenzeka njani oko? Waphendula ngelithi: ‘Niye nangcwaliswa ngomoya kaThixo wethu.’—1 Korinte 6:9-11.

Ungaze uwadelele amandla omoya oyingcwele kaThixo. IBhayibhile ithi: “UThixo uthembekile, yaye akayi kuniyekela nihendwe ngaphaya koko ninokukuthwala.” Eneneni, uya kuvelisa indlela yokuphuma koko kuhendwa. (1 Korinte 10:13) Ukuthandaza ngokusuk’ entliziyweni—ngokuqhubekayo udandalazisa ingxaki yakho phambi koThixo—kuya kukunceda. ILizwi lakhe likhuthaza ngelithi: “Umthwalo wakho wulahlele kuYehova, yaye yena wokuxhasa.”—INdumiso 55:22.

Kambe ke, kuya kufuneka wenze ngokuvisisana nemithandazo yakho. Ufanele uzenzele isigqibo esinyanisekileyo sokuwathiya amanyala. Umhlobo wakho osenyongweni okanye ilungu lentsapho yakho linokukunceda gqitha, likuxhase lize likukhuthaze ukuba ubambelele kweso sigqibo. (Bona ibhokisi ethi “Fumana Uncedo.”) Ukwazi ukuba elo khondo ngokuqinisekileyo liyamkholisa uThixo kunokukunceda uhlale ubambelele kulo. (IMizekeliso 27:11) Ngaphezu koko, ukuqonda ukuba xa ubukela amanyala ucaphukisa uThixo kunokukukhuthaza ukuba wahlukane nalo mkhwa. (Genesis 6:5, 6) Akulula, kodwa ke unokuphumelela. Umkhwa wokubukela amanyala unokoyiswa!

Kuyingozi ngokwenene ukubukela amanyala. Kwenza umonakalo ongathethekiyo. Konakalisa iingqondo zabo bawavelisayo nabo bawabukelayo. Kuhlazisa amadoda namabhinqa, kuyingozi ebantwaneni yaye kufanele kuphetshwe.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

a Ukuze ufumane iinkcukacha ezingakumbi ngokuphathelele iingozi zamanyala akwi-Internet, nceda ufunde ungcelele lwamanqaku anomxholo othi “Amanyala Aboniswa kwi-Internet—Anokuba Yingozi Njani?” kuVukani! kaJuni 8, 2000, iphepha 3-10.

b Ukuze ubone imbono yeBhayibhile ngamanyala, nceda ufunde uVukani! kaJulayi 8, 2002, iphepha 19-21.

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Fumana Uncedo

Umgudu wokwahlukana namanyala akufanele siwuthabathe lula; unokuba ngumsebenzi onzima ngokwenene. UGqr. Victor Cline, oye wanceda amakhulukhulu amakhoboka esini uthi: “Ukuzithembisa akusebenzi. Umntu unokuba neenjongo ezintle kodwa ingancedi nto loo nto. Ngeliphandle nje, [umntu olikhoboka lesini] akanakwenza nto eyedwa.” Lo kaCline uthi eyona nto ifunekayo ukuze umntu ancedakale, kukubandakanya iqabane lakhe ukuba utshatile. Uthi: “Ukuba bayancedisana, uncedakala ngokukhawuleza. Bobabini benzakele. Kufuneka bencedwe bobabini.”

Ukuba umntu akatshatanga, kunokumomeleza ukuthetha nomhlobo wakhe osenyongweni okanye ilungu lentsapho yakhe. Enoba ngubani na onikela uncedo, okaCline ugxininisa kulo mgaqo: Thetha ngokuphandle ngale ngxaki, naxa uye wabuyela umva. Uthi: “Ukufihla ‘kuya kukwenzakalisa.’ Kukwenza uzive unetyala.”

[Isicangca esikwiphepha 25]

Yiyiphi Imbono Oyamkelayo?

Eyamanyala EyeBhayibhile

◼ Ukuba neentlobano zesini ◼ “Umtshato mawubekeke phakathi

kunye naye nabani na, kwenu nonke, nesilili somtshato

nangaliphi na ixesha, masingadyojwa, kuba uThixo uya

naphantsi kwaziphi iimeko kubagweba abahenyuzi nabakrexezi.”

kulungile yaye akuyongozi. —Hebhere 13:4.

“Lowo uqhelisela uhenyuzo wona

nxamnye nomzimba wakhe.”

—1 Korinte 6:18;

kanti funda nabaseRoma 1:26, 27.