Ukunyamekela Iintswelo Zabantwana

LICACILE elokuba abantwana bafuna inyameko epheleleyo yaye kuyabonakala ukuba abaninzi abakufumani oko bakufunayo. Oko unokukubona kwimeko olukuyo ulutsha namhlanje. Omnye umphengululi ocatshulwe kwi-The Globe and Mail yaseToronto eKhanada wakhalaza wathi: “Ulutsha lwethu aluzange lube kude kangaka kwiintsapho zalo, aluzange luswele amava nobulumko ngolu hlobo.”

Konakele phi? Ngaba enye yezinto ezibe negalelo koku kukusilela ukuqonda ukubaluleka kokunyamekela abantwana xa beselula? Esinye isazi ngokusebenza kwengqondo esinceda amabhinqa afumana imivuzo ephantsi afunde indlela yokunyamekela iintsana zawo ezisandul’ ukuzalwa sithi: “Sonke kufuneka sifunde ukuba ngabazali abaphumelelayo. Yaye kufuneka siqonde ukuba siya kuvuzwa ngendlela engathethekiyo ngexesha esilichitha nabantwana bethu xa besebancinane.”

Kwaneentsana zifuna ukufundiswa rhoqo. Azifuni kufundiswa imizuzwana nje embalwa ngamaxesh’ athile, kodwa zifuna ukufundiswa rhoqo—ewe, imini yonke. Ixesha elichithwa nabantwana ukususela ebusaneni libalulekile ukuze bakhule kakuhle.

Kufuneka Kwenziwe Amalungiselelo Kwangaphambili

Ukuze bakwazi ukuphumeza imbopheleleko yabo, abazali kufuneka balulungiselele usana ngaphambi kokuba luzalwe. Basenokufunda kumgaqo awathetha ngawo uYesu Kristu ngokuphathelele ukubaluleka kokuceba kusengaphambili. Wathi: “Ngubani na kuni othi efuna ukwakha inqaba angahlali phantsi kuqala, abale indleko?” (Luka 14:28) Ukukhulisa umntwana—ekudla ngokuthiwa ngumsebenzi othabatha iminyaka engama-20—kunzima ngakumbi kunokwakha inqaba. Ngoko ukuze uphumelele ekukhuliseni umntwana wakho kufuneka uzenzele iplani oza kuyisebenzisa.

Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukuba umntu alungise ingqondo yakhe enze namalungiselelo okomoya ukuze akwazi ukusingatha iimbopheleleko zobuzali. Uhlolisiso olwenziwa kumabhinqa akhulelweyo aseJamani angama-2 000, lwabonisa ukuba abantwana boomama ababekhangele phambili ekufumaneni abantwana babo babephile kakuhle—bonwabile yaye bedlamkile—kunabantwana boomama ababengabafuni abantwana babo. Kwelinye icala, omnye umphengululi wathi inkosikazi eneengxaki zomtshato isesichengeni kangangama-237 ekhulwini sokufumana usana oludakumbileyo okanye olunesiphene kunokuba kunjalo ngebhinqa elonwabileyo neqabane lalo.

Ngoko ke, ngokucacileyo ootata banendima ebalulekileyo ekukhuleni komntwana ngokuphumelelayo. UGqr. Thomas Verny wathi: “Zimbalwa izinto eziyingozi emntwaneni ngokweemvakalelo nasemzimbeni, ngaphezu kokuba notata oyixhaphazayo okanye ongayikhathalelanga inkosikazi yakhe ekhulelweyo.” Eneneni, kuye kwaphawulwa ukuba esona sipho sinokufunyanwa ngumntwana kukuba uyise athande unina.

Incindi ephuma kumadlala ingene egazini likamama xa ekhathazekile naxa enxunguphele inokudlulela nakwimveku engaphakathi kuye. Noko ke, kuthiwa eyona nto iyingozi kukuba umama abandezeleke ixesha elide, akubhekiselwa ekukhathazekeni nasekunxunguphaleni nje kokwexeshana. Kubonakala ngathi eyona nto ibalulekileyo yindlela umama avakalelwa ngayo ngemveku yakhe engekazalwa.a

Kuthekani ukuba ukhulelwe yaye umyeni wakho akakuxhasi okanye wena uyayicaphukela into yokuba uza kuba nomntwana? Asinto ingaqhelekanga ukuba ibhinqa likhathazeke xa likhulelwe. Noko ke, ufanele ukhumbule ukuba umntwana ongaphakathi kuwe akanatyala. Ngoko ke, unokuzama njani ukuba uhlale uzolile nakuba iimeko zimaxongo?

Izigidi zabantu ziye zancedwa lulwalathiso lobulumko olufumaneka eLizwini likaThixo, iBhayibhile. Ithi: “Ezintweni zonke zaziseni izibongozo zenu kuThixo ngomthandazo nesikhungo nombulelo; yaye uxolo lukaThixo olungaphaya kokuqonda luya kuzilinda iintliziyo zenu namandla enu engqondo ngoKristu Yesu.” Uya kumangaliswa yindlela ukusebenzisa la mazwi ekuya kukunceda ngayo ulandele eli cebiso: “Musani ukuxhalela nantoni na.” (Filipi 4:6, 7) Uya kufumana inkxaso yoMdali oya kukunyamekela.—1 Petros 5:7.

Asinto Ingaqhelekanga

Kwiiveki zokuqala besandul’ ukubeleka, abanye oomama abaselula badla ngokuziva bengonwabanga yaye becubhukile. Kwanamabhinqa aye akuvuyela ukufumana umntwana anokuba namaxesha okuba ntshingintshingi. Asinto ingaqhelekanga leyo. Kungenxa yokuba emva kokuba amabhinqa ebelekile, kwenzeka utshintsho kumadlala. Iqhelekile nento yokuba umama osemtsha onganyelwe ziimbopheleleko zokuba ngumama—ukutyisa, ukutshintsha nokunyamekela usana olungayaziyo into yokuba lumele lulinde.

Omnye umama wayevakalelwa kukuba usana lwakhe lwalukhalela nje ukungcungcuthekisa yena. Akumangalisi ke ngoko ukuba elinye inene laseJapan eliyingcali ekukhuliseni abantwana lathi: “Akakho umntu ongachatshazelwayo ziingxaki zokukhulisa abantwana.” Ngokutsho kwale ngcali, “eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba umama angazenzi ikheswa.”

Kwanokuba umama uziva edandathekile ngamanye amaxesha, unokulukhusela usana lwakhe ukuze lungachaphazeleki yile meko. Iphephancwadi iTime lathi: “Oomama abadandathekileyo abakwaziyo ukulwa nolu dandatheko ngokuphumelelayo, babonakalise inkathalo ngeentsana zabo bazonwabise ngokudlala nazo, baba nabantwana abanengqondo ekrelekrele.”b

Indlela Utata Anokunceda Ngayo

Uyise wosana udla ngokuba kwimeko efanelekileyo yokunikela uncedo nenkxaso. Kwiimeko ezininzi, xa usana lukhala ezinzulwini zobusuku, uyise unokulunyamekela usana ukuze iqabane lakhe lilale. IBhayibhile ithi: “Amadoda amele aphathe abafazi bawo ngolwazelelo ngalo lonke ixesha lokudla kwabo ubomi.”—1 Petros 3:7, iThe Jerusalem Bible.

UYesu Kristu wawamisela umzekelo omhle amadoda. Wada wancama ubomi bakhe ngenxa yabalandeli bakhe. (Efese 5:28-30; 1 Petros 2:21-24) Ngaloo ndlela, amadoda akulungeleyo ukuzincama ukuze anyamekele abantwana bawo alinganisa uKristu. Eneneni, ukukhulisa abantwana ngumsebenzi ofuna intsebenziswano, kufuneka bobabini abazali babe negalelo.

Intsebenziswano

UYoichiro onguyise wentwazana eneminyaka emibini ubudala uthi: “Njengendoda nomfazi siye saxubusha ngokweenkcukacha indlela esifanele siyikhulise ngayo intombi yethu. Xa kuvela ingxaki sixubusha ngendlela esifanele siyicombulule ngayo.” UYoichiro uyayiqonda into yokuba inkosikazi yakhe ifuna ixesha elaneleyo lokuphumla, yaye udla ngokuhamba nentwazana yakhe xa eyokwenza imisetyenzana ethile yekhaya.

Ngaphambili, ngexesha ekwakuxhaphake iintsapho ezinkulu nezihlala ndawonye, abazali babencediswa ngabantwana abadadlana nezalamane ekunyamekeleni abantwana abancinane. Ngoko akumangalisi oko kwathethwa ngomnye umsebenzi we-Child-Rearing Support Center eKawasaki, eJapan, xa wathi: “Kwiimeko ezininzi, kuye kuthi xibilili koomama xa bethetha nabanye ngalo mbandela. Ngoncedo nje olungephi, oomama abaninzi baye bakwazi ukuhlangabezana nemiqobo ethile.”

Iphephancwadi i-Parents lithi abazali “kufuneka babe neqela labantu abanokuqhagamshelana nabo, abanokuphalaza kubo imbilini yabo.” Linokufunyanwa phi elo qela labantu? Ngokuba nengqondo ephangaleleyo nangokuphulaphula abazali babo okanye abazali babayeni babo, oomama nootata abasebatsha banokungenelwa kakhulu. Kakade ke, ootatomkhulu noomakhulu bafanele bayiqonde into yokuba aba bazali basebatsha baza kuzenzela isigqibo.c

Omnye umthombo abanokuthembela kuwo abazali abasebatsha, ngamanye amakholwa anqula nabo. Kwibandla lamaNgqina kaYehova lasekuhlaleni, unokufumana abantu abanamava okukhulisa abantwana nabakulungeleyo ukuphulaphula iingxaki zakho. Banokukunika amacebiso aluncedo. Ngamany’ maxesha unokucela uncedo ‘kubafazi abalupheleyo’ ekusenokwenzeka ukuba bangamaKristu anamava nabakulungeleyo ukunceda abafazana.—Tito 2:3-5.

Eneneni, abazali kufuneka bangamkeli onke amacebiso abawanikwa ngabanye. UYoichiro uthi: “Abantu basuka basifundisa yonk’ into ngokuphathelele ukukhuliswa kwabantwana.” UTakako, inkosikazi yakhe uthi: “Ekuqaleni, ndandiphazamiseka ngamacebiso anikelwa ngabanye, kuba ndandicinga ukuba bayandigxeka kuba ndingumzali ongenamava.” Ukanti, ngokufunda kwabanye, abayeni abaninzi namakhosikazi abo baye bancedwa ukuba babe nembono efanelekileyo ngokunika abantwana babo oko bakufunayo.

Olona Ncedo Lubalaseleyo

Kwanokuba kubonakala kungekho mntu onokukunceda, ukho umthombo wokhuthazo onokuthenjwa. NguYehova uThixo, owasidalayo, lowo unokubabona ‘beseyimbumba’ esesibelekweni abo bazalwa emhlabeni. (INdumiso 139:16) Ebhekisa kubantu bakhe bamandulo, uYehova wakha wathetha la mazwi abhalwe eLizwini lakhe iBhayibhile: “Umfazi angalulibala na usana lwakhe, angavakalelwa ngonyana wesisu sakhe? Nokuba bona abafazi banokulibala, kodwa mna andiyi kukulibala.”—Isaya 49:15; INdumiso 27:10.

Eneneni, uYehova akabalibali abazali. EBhayibhileni kukho ulwalathiso oluhle alunike abazali ngokuphathelele indlela yokukhulisa abantwana. Ngokomzekelo, malunga neminyaka engama-3 500 eyadlulayo, umprofeti kaThixo uMoses wabhala: “Uze umthande uYehova uThixo wakho ngentliziyo yakho yonke nangomphefumlo wakho wonke nangamandla akho onke.” Wandula ke uMoses wathi: “La mazwi [kuquka umyalelo wokuthanda nokukhonza uYehova] ndikuyalela wona namhlanje amele abe sentliziyweni yakho; uze uwabethelele kunyana wakho yaye uthethe ngawo ekuhlaleni kwakho endlwini yakho, nasekuhambeni kwakho ngendlela, nasekulaleni kwakho, nasekuvukeni kwakho.”—Duteronomi 6:5-7.

Ucinga ukuba yiyiphi eyona ngongoma ibalulekileyo kolu lwalathiso lufumaneka eLizwini likaThixo? Asikokuqhubeka ufundisa abantwana bakho rhoqo suku ngalunye? Eneneni, ukubekela bucala ixesha oza kulichitha nabantwana bakho ngamaxesh’ athile, akwanele. Ekubeni amathuba abalulekileyo onxibelelwano edla ngokuzivelela, kufuneka uzenze ufumaneke rhoqo kubantwana bakho. Xa usenjenjalo uya kukwazi ukuzalisekisa umyalelo weBhayibhile othi: “Yiqeqeshe inkwenkwe ngokwendlela yayo.”—IMizekeliso 22:6.

Ukuqeqesha abantwana kakuhle kuquka ukubafundela. IBhayibhile ithi umfundi wenkulungwane yokuqala, uTimoti ‘wayazi kwasebusaneni imibhalo engcwele.’ Ngokucacileyo, unina uYunike, noninakhulu uLoyisi babemfundela eselusana. (2 Timoti 1:5; 3:14,15) Kuhle ukuba uqalise ukufundela usana lwakho ngokukhawuleza nje wakuba uqalisile ukuncokola nalo. Kodwa unokulufundela ntoni usana lwakho yaye unokuyifundisa njani imveku?

Umntwana wakho makakuve ufunda iBhayibhile. Kuyacaca ukuba uTimoti wayefundelwa yona. Zikho nezinye iincwadi ezinemifanekiso emibalabala, ezenza abantwana baqhelane neBhayibhile. Le mifanekiso inceda umntwana abe nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wezinto ezifundiswa yiBhayibhile. Ngokomzekelo, kukho incwadi ethi Incwadi Yam Yamabali EBhayibhile nethi Oyena Mntu Ubalaseleyo Wakha Waphila. Kuye kwasetyenziswa iincwadi ezilolu hlobo ukuze kubethelelwe iimfundiso zeBhayibhile ezingqondweni nasezintliziyweni zezigidi zabantwana.

Njengoko iBhayibhile isitsho, “oonyana [neentombi] balilifa elivela kuYehova; isiqhamo sesisu singumvuzo.” (INdumiso 127:3) UMdali wakho ukunike imbopheleleko yokunyamekela ‘ilifa,’ usana oluthandekayo, olunokuba ngumthombo weqhayiya novuyo. Ukukhulisa abantwana, ngokukodwa abo badumisa uMdali, ngumsebenzi onomvuzo ngokwenene!

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

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Indlela avakalelwa ngayo umama ngosana olungaphakathi kuye ibaluleke kakhulu

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Nangona umama osemtsha enokuba neemvakalelo eziguquguqukayo xa egqiba kubeleka, ininzi into anokuyenza ukuze usana lwakhe luzive luthandwa yaye lunqabisekile

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Ootata bamele babe negalelo ekunyamekeleni usana

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Umntwana ufanele afundelwe eseyimveku