Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Ndinokukuphepha Njani Ukuba Neentlobano Zesini Ngaphambi Komtshato?
“Xa ndandineminyaka eli-19 ubudala, ndaba neentlobano zesini nenye inkwenkwe endandifunda nayo. Akuyazi indlela endaba buhlungu ngayo. Ndaziva ndingento yanto.”—ULaci.a
“SABANI kulo uhenyuzo,” itsho njalo iBhayibhile. (1 Korinte 6:18) Noko ke, bambalwa namhlanje abantu abasebatsha ababonakala bekulungele ukuthobela oko kuthethwa yiBhayibhile, ukuphepha ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato. Abanye njengoLaci, baye banikezela kwiminqweno yabo yaye oko kuye kwabangela intlungu nokukhathazwa sisazela.
Yinyaniso ukuba akulula ukulawula umnqweno wesini. Njengoko incwadi ethi Adolescent Development isitsho, utshintsho olwenzeka kumadlala ngexesha lokufikisa lubangela ukuba “kubekho ukuvuseleleka ngokwesini.” UPaul uthi, “Maxa wambi, ndisuka ndifikelwe ziingcinga eziphathelele isini ngaphandle kwesizathu.”
Ukanti unjingalwazi kwizigulo zabantwana uHoward Kulin uthi: “Ingcamango yokuba okuphela konobangela weengxaki zabo [bafikisayo] lutshintsho olwenzeka kumadlala, ayichananga ncam.” Uthi bakho nabanye oothunywashe abanegalelo koku. Eneneni, aba thunywashe—ngokukodwa ingcinezelo yoontanga—banokuba nempembelelo enamandla.
Kwincwadi yakhe ethi A Tribe Apart, uPatricia Hersch ongumbhali uthi “abantu abaselula bazakhele ibutho labo. . . . Abaloqela nje labahlobo, bayazikhetha [kubantu abadala] banemilinganiselo yabo abaphila ngayo, banendlela yabo yokuziphatha nemithetho yabo.” Noko ke, ‘indlela yokuziphatha’ “nemithetho” yabantu abaninzi abaselula idla ngokukhuthaza ukwanelisa umnqweno wesini kungekhona ukuwulawula. Ngoko abaninzi baye bazive benyanzelekile ukuba babe neentlobano zesini bengatshatanga.
Sekunjalo, ulutsha olungamaKristu luzimisele ukuphepha zonke iintlobo zohenyuzo, lusazi ukuba uThixo uyalugatya yaye ulujonga njengomnye ‘wemisebenzi yenyama.’b (Galati 5:19) Ngoko ke, kunokwenzeka njani ukuba uhlale unyulu xa ujamelene nengcinezelo enzima?
Funa Abahlobo Abalumkileyo
Okubangel’ umdla kukuba ngoxa abantu onxulumana nabo benokukuphembelela ukuba wenze izinto ezimbi, abahlobo abalungileyo banokukuphembelela ukuba wenze okuhle. Kunjengokuba iBhayibhile isitsho: “Ohamba nezilumko uya kuba sisilumko naye.” (IMizekeliso 13:20; 1 Korinte 15:33) Ingxelo yeWorld Health Organization (iWHO) yathi “ulutsha olufikisayo olunolwalamano oluhle nabazali balo, abanye abantu abadala abanothando noontanga balo” “oluqeqeshwe kakuhle ukuze lube ngabantu abazinzileyo nabaphila ngemilinganiselo efanelekileyo . . . alufane luqalise ukuba neentlobano zesini.”
Ukuba nolwalamano oluhle nabazali bakho kunokuba nomvuzo. UJoseph uthi, “Ngokuqinisekileyo abazali bam bandinceda ukuze ndikwazi ukuxhathisa ingcinezelo yokubandakanyeka kwiintlobano zesini.” Eneneni, abazali abahlonela uThixo banokukunceda ube ngumntu ozinzileyo bakufundise nokuphila ngemilinganiselo esekelwe kwiLizwi likaThixo. (Efese 6:2, 3) Banokukuxhasa kwimigudu oyenzayo yokuhlala unyulu.
Kuyavunywa ukuba, ekuqaleni kusenokuba nzima ukuthetha nabo ngemibandela ephathelele isini. Kodwa usenokumangaliswa yindlela abaziqonda ngayo iimvakalelo zakho. Ngapha koko, nabo bakha babatsha. Ngoko ke, uSonja ucebisa olunye ulutsha ngokuthi, “Yiya kubazali bakho yaye musa ukuba neentloni ukuthetha nabo ngesini.”
Kuthekani ukuba abazali bakho abaphili ngemilinganiselo yeBhayibhile? Ngoxa nabo ubahlonela, usenokufuna ulwalathiso kumntu ongelolungu lentsapho. UPaul, okhankanywe ngaphambilana uthi, “Ndincedwa zizibini ezitshatileyo ezingamaKristu aqolileyo ngokuphathelele le mibandela.” UKenji, intwazana eselula enina wayo ungelokholwa naye uthi, “Xa ndifuna icebiso ndiya kwabo baqolileyo bandakhayo ngokomoya.” Kodwa uyalumkisa, “Andiyi kwabo bangenamilinganiselo ingqongqo yokuziphatha, kwanokuba bathi baneenkolelo ezifana nezam.”
Maxa wambi, kusenokufuneka ulumkele unxulumano lwakho kwibandla lamaKristu. IBhayibhile isikhumbuza ukuba, kulo naliphi na iqela elikhulu kuya kusoloko kukho abo bangaziphathi ngokufanelekileyo. (2 Timoti 2:20) Yintoni ofanele uyenze xa ufumanisa ukuba olunye ulutsha olusebandleni lakho ‘luyazifihla oko lukuko’? (INdumiso 26:4) Kuphephe ukunxulumana ngokusondeleyo nabanjalo, funa abahlobo abaya kukuxhasa kuzimiselo lwakho lokuhlala uziphethe ngendlela ecocekileyo.
Ziphephe Iingcamango Eziyingozi Nezibubuxoki
Ufanele uzikhusele nakwintlaninge yemifanekiso yesini nenkcazelo engcolileyo ezele kwiincwadi, kumaphephancwadi, kwiividiyo zomculo, kwimidlalo yeevidiyo, kwiimovie nakwi-Internet. Amajelo osasazo abonisa iintlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato njengento enomtsalane, emnandi nengenangozi. Uyintoni umphumo woko? UKenji, ocatshulwe ngasentla, uthi: “Ndabukela iinkqubo ezazibonisa ngesini ngokungenankathalo ezazide zibonise namafanasini. Ngenxa yoko, ndaqalisa ukuyilibala indlela uYehova ayigqala ngokunzulu ngayo le mibandela.”
Inyaniso kukuba, iindlela zokuzonwabisa ezithandwayo zidla ngokungayibonisi imiphumo ebuhlungu yokuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato—ukumitha okungafunwayo, ukungena emtshatweni ungawulungelanga nezifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini. Ngoko musa ukukhohliswa ngabo “bathi okulungileyo kubi nokubi kulungile.”—Isaya 5:20.
Khumbula amazwi akwiMizekeliso 14:15 athi: “Nabani na ongenamava ukholwa ngamazwi onke, kodwa onobuqili uyawaqwalasela amanyathelo akhe.” Ukuba ubona imifanekiso ebonisa isini okanye evuselela umnqweno wesini xa ufunda, ujonga i-Internet okanye xa ubukele umabonwakude, thabatha inyathelo ngokukhawuleza! Vala loo ncwadi, cima ikhompyutha okanye utshintshele kwelinye ijelo likamabonwakude! Emva koko cinga ngenye into—into eyakhayo. (Filipi 4:8) Ngokwenjenjalo unokuyiphelisa iminqweno engafanelekanga ingekahambeli phambili.—Yakobi 1:14, 15.
Kulumkele Ukuzibeka Esichengeni
Ngaba uthandana nomntu othile? Ngoko kufuneka ulumke. IBhayibhile iyasilumkisa: “Intliziyo inenkohliso kunayo nantoni na yaye iyatyhudisa.” (Yeremiya 17:9) Kulula ukuba iimbonakaliso zothando zikhokelele ekuziphatheni okubi ngokwesini. Zikhuseleni, yibani nempelesi efanelekileyo okanye nibe phakathi kweqela labantu abaziphethe kakuhle. Kuphepheni ukuba nedwa kwiindawo ezinokunenza niwele ekuziphatheni okubi.
Noko ke, mhlawumbi sele niganene kuba niza kutshata yaye nivakalelwa kukuba kufanelekile ukubonakalisa uthando omnye komnye. Sekunjalo, ingxelo ye-WHO iyalumkisa: “Kubonakala ngathi inkoliso yamabhinqa iba neentlobano zesini xa umtshato sele usondele, nditsho nalawo akwimimandla ekusadliwa ngendeb’ endala kuyo.”c Ngoko zibekeleni imiqathango kwiindlela enibonakalisa ngazo uthando nize niphephe ukuzifaka entlungwini ngokungeyomfuneko.
Nangona oku kubonakala kusothusa, inkoliso yolutsha—ngokukodwa amantombazana aselula—iyanyanzelwa ukuba ibe neentlobano zesini. Ngokutsho kolunye uhlolisiso, “amantombazana afikisayo aseUnited States angama-60 ekhulwini awaba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi kokuba abe ne-15 leminyaka ubudala akwenza oko ngokunyanzelwa.” Abo banyanzelela abanye kwesi senzo badla ngokusebenzisa amandla abanawo ukuze boyise amaxhoba abo. (INtshumayeli 4:1) Ngokomzekelo, iBhayibhile isixelela ukuba uAmnon ongunyana kaKumkani uDavide “wamthanda” udadewabo uTamare yaye wasebenzisa amaqhinga waza wamnyanzela ukuba abe neentlobano zesini kunye naye.—2 Samuweli 13:1, 10-16.
Oku akuthethi ukuba umntu akanakukuthintela ukudlwengulwa okanye ukunyanzelelwa ekubeni neentlobano zesini. Ngokulumkela izinto eziyingozi, ukuphepha iimeko ezinokukubeka esichengeni nangokuthabatha amanyathelo akhawulezileyo xa kukho isisongelo, unokukwazi ukuzikhusela.d
“Yenze Imanyane” Intliziyo Yakho
Siyathemba ukuba la macebiso siye saxubusha ngawo apha aya kukunceda kumzamo wakho wokuhlala unyulu. Kodwa ke enyanisweni koko kusentliziyweni yakho okuya kuphembelela indlela oziphatha ngayo. UYesu wathi “entliziyweni kuphuma . . . uhenyuzo.” (Mateyu 15:19) Ngoko umele ulwe notyekelo lokuba ‘nentliziyo embaxa’ (ukuba dikidiki okanye ukuhanahanisa) ngokuphathelele lo mbandela ubalulekileyo.—INdumiso 12:2; 119:113.
Xa uziva ungaqinanga kwisigqibo sakho okanye kubekho ukubethabethana kwezimvo, thandaza njengoDavide owabongoza esithi: “Yenze imanyane intliziyo yam ukuba iloyike igama lakho.” (INdumiso 86:11) Emva koko, yenza ngokuvisisana nomthandazo wakho ngokufundisisa iBhayibhile neempapasho ezisekelwe eBhayibhileni uze ukusebenzise oko ukufundayo. (Yakobi 1:22) ULydia uthi, “Into endikhuthazayo ukuba ndixhathise isilingo sokuziphatha kakubi ngokwesini kukuhlala ndikhumbula ukuba ‘akukho mhenyuzi namntu ungahlambulukanga unelifa ebukumkanini bukaThixo.’”—Efese 5:5.
Kusenokuba nzima ukuphepha ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato. Kodwa ngoncedo lukaYehova, unokuhlala unyulu uze uphephe intlungu nokubandezeleka.—IMizekeliso 5:8-12.
[Imibhalo esemazantsi]
a Asingomagama abo la.
b Bona inqaku elithi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . . Yintoni Ephosakeleyo Ngokuba Neentlobano Zesini Ngaphambi Komtshato?” kwinkupho yethu ka-Agasti 8, 2004.
c Bona isahluko 29 sencwadi ethi Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula—Iimpendulo Eziluncedo, epapashwe ngamaNgqina kaYehova.
d Kwanikelwa amacebiso ngokuphathelele lo mbandela kwinqaku elithi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . . ” “Ukuhlaselwa Ngokwesini—Ndinokuzikhusela Njani?” nelithi “Ndingamenza Njani Umfana Endithandana Naye Ukuba Ayeke Ukundixhaphaza?” kwinkupho yethu kaSeptemba 8, 1995, nekaJulayi 8, 2004.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 29]
Ukuxubusha nabazali bakho ngendlela ovakalelwa ngayo kunokukunceda ukuba uhlale unyulu
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 30]
Ukuba phakathi kweqela labantu abaziphethe kakuhle xa nisenza amadinga kunokunikhusela