Ukwakha Umtshato Owonwabisayo

“Indoda . . . inamathele emfazini wayo baze babe nyama-nye.”—GENESIS 2:24.

UMDALI wethu, uYehova uThixo wasungula umtshato njengolwalamano oluhlala luhleli phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. IGenesis 2:18, 22-24 ithi: “Wahlabela mgama ke uYehova uThixo wathi: ‘Akulungile ukuba umntu aqhubeke eyedwa. Ndiza kumenzela umncedi oza kuba ngumphelelisi wakhe.’ Walwakha ke uYehova uThixo ubambo abeluthabathe endodeni lwaba ngumfazi waza wamzisa endodeni. Yandula ke indoda yathi: ‘Ekugqibeleni eli ke lithambo lasemathanjeni am nenyama yasenyameni yam. Lo yena ukubizwa kothiwa nguMfazi, kuba uthatyathwe endodeni.’ Kungenxa yoko le nto indoda iya kumshiya uyise nonina, inamathele emfazini wayo baze babe nyama-nye.”

Enyanisweni, ukwakha umtshato owonwabisayo akulula, kodwa kunokwenzeka. Izibini ezininzi zineminyaka engama-50, engama-60 nangaphezulu zitshatile yaye bezonwabile. Zikwenze njani oku? Bezisoloko zizibhokoxa emtshatweni ukuze ‘zizuze inkoliseko’ yamaqabane azo. (1 Korinte 7:33, 34) Oku akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Ukuba uzimisele ukuchith’ ixesha namandla, usenokonwaba emtshatweni, ube nomtshato wexesh’ elide.

Yilandele Ngenyameko Imiyalelo

Umakhi othembekileyo akanakuze aqalise ukwakha indlu engakhange ayijonge iplani. Ngokufanayo, asinakonwaba emtshatweni ukuba asiyiqwalaseli ngenyameko imiyalelo kaThixo. Loo miyalelo ifumaneka kwiLizwi Lakhe. Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Sonke iSibhalo siphefumlelwe nguThixo kwaye siyingenelo . . . ekulungelelaniseni izinto.”—2 Timoti 3:16.

Amadoda nabafazi banokufunda lukhulu ngomtshato ngokuqwalasela indlela uYesu awabaphatha ngayo abafundi bakhe. Ngoba? EBhayibhileni, ulwalamano uYesu analo nabo aza kulawula nabo ezulwini ifaniswa nolwalamano lwendoda nomfazi wayo. (2 Korinte 11:2) UYesu wathembeka kubalandeli bakhe, kwanakumaxesh’ anzima. “Wabathanda de kwasekupheleni.” (Yohane 13:1) Njengenkokeli enovelwano, uYesu wayesoloko enolwazelelelo ngeentsilelo nobuthathaka babalandeli bakhe. Wayengalindeli ukuba benze izinto ezingaphaya kwamandla abo.—Yohane 16:12.

Naxa wayedaniswe ngabona bahlobo bakhe basenyongweni, uYesu wayesoloko ebathantamisa. Akazange abangxolise, kodwa kunoko, ethobekile kwaye enobubele, wayezama ukubalungisa. (Mateyu 11:28-30; Marko 14:34-38; Yohane 13:5-17) Ngoko ke, ukuba uyiqwalasela ngenyameko indlela uYesu awabaphatha ngayo ngobubele abalandeli bakhe nendlela abasabela ngayo kuthando lwakhe, uya kufunda indlela yokwakha umtshato owonwabisayo.—1 Petros 2:21.

Ukwakhela Kwisiseko Esiqinileyo

Ngokuqinisekileyo, ziya kubakho iingxaki eziya kuhlasela umtshato wakho. Oku kuya kuvavanya ukomelela kolwalamano lwakho neqabane lakho. Noko ke, esona siseko siqinileyo sokwakhela umtshato owomeleleyo kukuba nobabini nithembeke omnye komnye ngokusekelwe eluthandweni. UYesu wakubethelela ukubaluleka kokuzinikela omnye komnye xa wathi: “Abo ke uThixo abamanyileyo mabangahlulwa mntu.” (Mateyu 19:6, iBhayibhile yesiXhosa yowe-1996.) Ibinzana elithi “mabangahlulwa mntu” liquka indoda nomfazi, abaye bafunga ukuba omnye uya kuthembeka komnye.

Bambi basenokukugqala ukuthembeka njengomthwalo, besithi kukufun’ itiki edotyeni. Namhlanje, abantu bakheth’ undlela-lula kunokuzincama ngokuzinikela kumntu othile.

Yintoni enokugcina umtshato umanyene? Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Amadoda afanele abathande abafazi bawo njengemizimba yawo.” (Efese 5:28, 29) Ngoko ke, ‘ukumanywa’ kuquka ukuxhalabela impilo-ntle yeqabane lakho kanye njengokuba uxhalabele eyakho. Abantu abatshatileyo bafanele bayeke ukucinga ngento “yam” kodwa bacinge “ngeyethu,” bayeke ukucinga “ngam” kodwa “ngathi.”

Ukuzisingatha ngendlela ephumelelayo iingxaki emtshatweni kuya kukwenza ube sisilumko. Obo bulumko bunokukuzisela ulonwabo. IMizekeliso 3:13 ithi: “Unoyolo umntu ofumene ubulumko.”

Yakha Ngezinto Ezinokuxhathisa Umlilo

Ukuze indlu ihlale ixesha elide ingadiliki, ifanele yakhiwe yomelele. Ngoko ke, zimisele ukwakha umtshato ongasayi kuqhekeka. Yakha ngezinto zokwakha ezomeleleyo, ezinokukwenza uhlale uthembekileyo naxa kunzima. Bonisa uxabiso ngeempawu ezinjengobulumko obuvela kuThixo, isisa, ukuqonda, ukuhlonel’ uThixo, ububele, uxabiso ngemithetho kaThixo nokholo lokwenene.

Ulonwabo nolwaneliseko emtshatweni alusekelwa kwizinto eziphathekayo okanye inkqubela emsebenzini. Ezi zinto zakhelwe entliziyweni nasengqondweni yaye ezi mpawu zomelezwa ziinyaniso ezifumaneka kwiLizwi likaThixo. Isibongozo esithi “Ngamnye makahlale eyiphaphele indlela akha ngayo” sinokusetyenziswa nasemtshatweni.—1 Korinte 3:10.

Xa Kuvela Iingxaki

Ukuze isakhiwo sihlale somelele ixesha elide, kufuneka sigcinwe sisemgangathweni. Xa umfazi nendoda bexhasana ngamaxesha onke kwizinto abafuna ukuzenza yaye xa omnye emhlonela omnye, umtshato wabo uhlala womelele. Akabikho ozingcayo yaye bayawulawula umsindo.

Izinto ezibangel’ umsindo nezicaphukisa ngokunzulu zinokuwuqhekeza umtshato ukuba azilungiswa. Umpostile uPawulos wawaluleka amadoda esithi: “Nina madoda, hlalani nibathanda abafazi benu, ningavuthi ngumsindo ngakubo.” (Kolose 3:19) Oku kunjalo nasebafazini. Xa amaqabane ezama ukuba nolwazelelelo, ububele nokuqonda, oku kufak’ isandla kulonwabo nakulwaneliseko lwentsapho. Ukuphepha ukwenza izinto ezicaphukisayo kuya kuninceda niphephe iingxwabangxwaba xa kuvel’ iingxaki. UPawulos wabongoza: “Yibani nobubele omnye komnye, nibe nemfesane, nixolelane ngesisa.”—Efese 4:32.

Kuthekani ukuba ucatshukiswa kukuzibona ungenamandla okwenza nto ngemeko ethile, ucunukile, okanye ungaxatyiswa? Uzolile, lixelele iqabane lakho ngendlela oziva ngayo. Noko ke, kusenokuba kuhle ukuvumela uthando luzigubungele izinto ezingenamsebenzi.—1 Petros 4:8.

Enye indoda, eyajamelana nezilingo ezininzi emtshatweni wayo kwiminyaka engama-35 ithi, enoba likucaphukise kangakanani na iqabane lakho, ningaze “ningathethisani.” Ngobulumko yongezelela ngokuthi, “Ningaze niyeke ukuthandana.”

Unako Ukwakha Umtshato Owonwabisayo

Liyinyaniso elokuba, akulula ukwakha umtshato owonwabisayo. Noko ke, xa amaqabane atshatileyo ezimisele ukuquka uThixo emtshatweni wawo, kuya kubakho ulonwabo nonqabiseko kuloo mtshato. Ngoko ke, yiqwalasele ngenyameko imeko yokomoya yentsapho yakho; zinikele ngokupheleleyo emtshatweni wenu. Yaye khumbula ukuba ngokutsho kukaYesu, asingomfazi okanye indoda efanele ifumane lonke uzuko ngokuba nomtshato owonwabisayo. Kunoko, ngokuyintloko kufanele kuzukiswe uMsunguli womtshato, uYehova uThixo. “Oko uThixo akubophelele ngedyokhwe ndawonye makungahlukaniswa mntu.”—Mateyu 19:6.

ENYE INCWADI ONOKUYIFUNDA

Incwadi ethi Imfihlelo Yolonwabo Lwentsapho, epapashwe ngamaNgqina kaYehova, inamacebiso aluncedo okwakha umtshato owonwabisayo nophumelelayo. Abantu abaninzi ehlabathini lonke bawafumanise eluncedo amacebiso ayo asekelwe eBhayibhileni ekuphuculeni ulwalamano lwabo.—Bona iphepha 32 kweli phephancwadi.

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Yintoni Enokukunceda Wakhe Umtshato Owonwabisayo?

◼ Fundani kunye iLizwi likaThixo rhoqo, nize nithandaze kuThixo anincede anikhokele nicombulule iingxaki.—IMizekeliso 3:5, 6; Filipi 4:6, 7; 2 Timoti 3:16, 17.

◼ Yiba neentlobano zesini kuphela neqabane lakho.—IMizekeliso 5:15-21; Hebhere 13:4.

◼ Thethani phandle, ngokunyaniseka nangothando ngeengxaki eninazo nokungavisisani kwenu.—IMizekeliso 15:22; 20:5; 25:11.

◼ Thetha neqabane lakho ngobubele, ngolwazelelelo; kuphephe ukugqajukelwa ngumsindo, ukuphephe ukuba nochuku namazwi arhabaxa okugxeka.—IMizekeliso 15:1; 20:3; 21:9; 31:26, 28; Efese 4:31, 32.

◼ Ngokuzithoba, sebenzisa isiluleko seBhayibhile enoba uvakalelwa kukuba iqabane lakho alenzi konke ebelifanele ukuba liyakwenza.—Roma 14:12; 1 Petros 3:1, 2.

◼ Zabalazela ukuhlakulela iimpawu zokomoya ekuthethwe ngazo eBhayibhileni.—Galati 5:22, 23; Kolose 3:12-14; 1 Petros 3:3-6.

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Landela imiyalelo kaThixo ngomtshato efumaneka eBhayibhileni

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Umtshato wakho mawakhelwe kuthando nokunyaniseka

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Yakha iimpawu zokomoya ezinokukunceda ujamelane neengxaki ezinzima

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Umtshato owonwabisayo ufuna umgudu ukuze uwugcine unjalo