Ukuzimisela Ukuba Sisityebi—Indlela Okukuchaphazela Ngayo
KWELI hlabathi linabantu abangaphezu kwezigidi ezingama-850 abathwaxwa linxele likaKhetsekile, kungumnqa ukujonga izinto eziphathekayo ezininzi njengengxaki. Kodwa ngaba uphawule ukuba isibhalo esicatshulwe kwinqaku elandulela eli siye salumkisa ngokuthanda imali kunye nokusukela ubutyebi, kungekhona ngokuba nemali okanye ukuba sisinhanha? Kwenzeka ntoni ebantwini xa imali isithi tata kubo naxa bethenga nantoni na abayithandayo? Okukuqala, khawuqwalasele indlela oku okubachaphazela ngayo abantwana babo.
Impembelelo Ebantwaneni
Kuqikelelwa ukuba umntwana oqhelekileyo eMerika, ubona iintengiso ezingama-40 000 kumabonwakude ngonyaka nje omnye. Ngaphezu koko, kukho imidlalo yeevidiyo, izixhobo zokudlala umculo zala maxesha, iinkqubo zekhompyutha, neempahla zamagama abantwana abazibona ezivenkileni nakubahlobo babo. Cinga ke ngoku ngezicelo eziya kubazali kufunwa ezi zinto. Abanye abazali babanika ooni nooni abantwana babo. Kutheni?
Kuba bona bengazange baphile ubomi bokufumana yonk’ into abayifunayo xa babesebancinane, abanye abazali bazama konk’ okusemandleni abo ukuqiniseka ukuba abantwana babo abaphoswa zizinto abazifunayo. Abanye abazali bacinga ukuba xa besithi hayi ebantwaneni babo baya kuba zizisulu zokuthiywa ngabo. Omnye umseki weqela elixhasa abazali eBoulder, eColorado, eUnited States, uthi: “Aba bazali bafuna ukuba ngabahlobo abasenyongweni ebantwaneni babo baze baqiniseke ukuba aba bantwana bonwabile.” Abanye abazali bacinga ukuba ukutenda abantwana babo ngezipho kuya kuthethelela ixesha abalichitha emsebenzini kude nabantwana babo. Ngaphezu koko, emva kokusebenza nzima iveki yonke, akukho mzali ufuna ukuqalisa ingxwabangxwaba ngamazwi athi “Hayi, soze uyifumane loo nto.”
Ngaba phofu abazali abafekethisa abantwana babo ngale ndlela bayabanceda okanye bayabenzakalisa? Eyona nto ixakayo yeyokuba, abantwana ababathandi abazali abafekethisayo, kunoko aba bantwana ababi nambulelo. Izipho ebebekade bezikhalela abazixabisi kwaphela. Omnye umlawuli wesikolo uthi: “Into endikhe ndayibona ngabantwana abafumana nantoni na abayifunayo, emva kweeveki ezimbini baphetha sele bengayikhathalelanga kwaloo nto bebeyicela.”
Kwenzeka ntoni ke kwaba bantwana bakukhula? Ngokutsho kwephephancwadi iNewsweek, bathi bakukhula aba bantwana, “bangakwazi ukumelana neenzima zobomi.” Ngenxa yokuba bengazange bafunde ukusebenza nzima ukuze bafumane oko bakufunayo, uninzi lwabo lusilela ngokulusizi esikolweni, emsebenzini nasemitshatweni, emva koko luxhomekeka kubazali balo. Kwakhona, luthwaxwa luxinezeleko nangamaxhala obomi.
Ngoko ke, abantwana abafekethiswayo akukho nento le abayifumanayo ebomini. Bahluthwa ilungelo lokuxabisa umsebenzi, ukuxabisa iziqu zabo nokuziva benokumelana nantoni na ebomini. Ugqirha wengqondo uJessie O’Neill ulumkisa ngokuthi: “Ukufundisa abantwana ukuba banokufumana nantoni na abayifunayo kukubabekela isiseko esingazinzanga ebomini.”
Kwenzeka Ntoni Kubantu Abadala?
Ulindixesha iPsychology Today uthi, ukuba utshatile “kungakhathaliseki ukuba senitshate ixesha elide kangakanani okanye ingakanani imali eninayo, into eniza kuxabana ngayo kungekudala neqabane lakho yimali.” Eny’ into ephawulwayo kukuba “indlela abantu ababini abatshatileyo abaxabana ngayo ngemali inokubonisa kusengaphambili ukuphumelela komtshato wabo nokuphela kolwalamano lwabo.” Abantu abatshatileyo abathetha ngemali nezinto eziphathekayo yonke le mihla kucacile ukuba babeka umtshato wabo esichengeni. Enyanisweni, kuqikelelwa ukuba iingxabano zemali zezona ziphambili kuqhawulo-mtshato lwabantu abangama-90 ekhulwini.
Nokuba abantu abatshatileyo bazama unako nako ukuze umtshato ungachithakali, umgangatho womtshato wabo unokudodobala ukuba basoloko becinga ngemali nezinto eziphathekayo. Ngokomzekelo, xa abantu abatshatileyo benamatyala, baba nomsindo okanye baphakanyelwa ziziciko ngokukhawuleza, sele ingunam nawe ngoku ngamatyala. Ngamany’ amaxesha elinye iqabane linokuxakeka ngezinto eziphathekayo bade babe nexesha elincinane lokuncokola. Kwenzeka ntoni xa elinye iqabane lithenge into yexabiso eliphezulu lize lifihlele elinye? Kubakho izinto ezifihlwayo, ukuziva unetyala nokungathenjwa—nto ezo ke eziwunqunqel’ egoqweni umtshato.
Abantu abadala abathile, betshatile okanye bengatshatanga, baye baphilela izinto eziphathekayo. Abanye abantu baseMzantsi Afrika, abafuna ukufana nabantu baseNtshona ngezinto eziphathekayo bazame ukuzibulala. EUnited States, enye indoda yabulala umkayo, unyana wayo oneminyaka eli-12 ubudala yaza nayo yazibulala, ngenxa yeengxaki zemali.
Ewe, abantu abaninzi abakafi ngenxa yokusukela ubutyebi. Noko ke, banokuphoswa kukuphila ubomi bokwenene. Ngaphezu koko, impilo yabo inokuba nkenenkene ukuba bayaphuthelwa, baneentloko ezibuhlungu okanye izilonda emathunjini—ezo zinto zicuth’ ubomi bomntu ngenxa yoxinezeleko lomsebenzi okanye lwezoqoqosho. Naxa sele ezibona apho asilele khona yaye efuna ukulungisa izinto, kusenokwenzeka ukuba sele eshiywe lixesha. Iqabane lakhe lisenokungamthembi, abantwana bakhe basenokuba bachaphazelekile ngokweemvakalelo yaye impilo yakhe sele inkenenkene kakhulu. Ezinye izinto zinokulungiswa kodwa oko kufuna umgudu. Eneneni, abantu abaninzi baye ‘bazingxwelerha ngeentlungu ezininzi.’—1 Timoti 6:10.
Yintoni Oyifunayo?
Abantu abaninzi bafuna ubomi bentsapho obonwabisayo, impilo esemgangathweni, umsebenzi owanelisayo nemali eyaneleyo ukuze baphile tofotofo. Ukuze uzifumane zonke ezi zinto kufuneka uphile ubomi obulungeleleneyo yaye xa imali iyeyona nto ibalulekileyo kwezi zinto kupatyalak’ ibhobhile. Kubantu abaninzi, ukulungisa izinto zibuyele esiqhelweni kunokuthetha ukufuna umsebenzi ongahlawuli kakhulu, indlu encinane, imoto ekumgangatho ophantsi nomgangatho ophantsi wokuphila. Bangaphi abantu abanokuncama ubomi obutofotofo ngenxa nje yemilinganiselo ephakamileyo yokuziphatha? Elinye ibhinqa lithi ‘Ndiyazi ukuba aziyomfuneko izinto eziphathekayo, kodwa kunzima ukwahlukana nazo!’ Abanye bafuna ukwahlukana nazo kodwa abafuni ukuhlahl’ indlela yokwenza oko.
Kuthekani ngawe? Ukuba ugcina imali nezinto eziphathekayo kwindawo yazo, ufanele unconywe. Kwelinye icala, ngaba ufunda nje ukugqiba eli nqaku kuba umgangatho wakho wokuphila ufuna ixesha lakho elininzi? Ngaba ungomnye wabantu abafuna ukunciphisa izinto eziphathekayo ngenxa yempilo? Ngoko ke, thabatha amanyathelo ngoku ngaphambi kokuba izinto eziphathekayo zichitha-chithe intsapho yakho. Ibhokisi ekweli phepha inamacebiso anokukunceda.
Xa izinto eziphathekayo zikwindawo yazo, umntu ngamnye entsatsheni uyaphila ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Kukho eny’ into emele ixhalabise amaKristu—akafuni izinto eziphathekayo ziphazamise ulwalamano lwawo noThixo. Izinto eziphathekayo zinokuyibeka njani esichengeni impilo yakho yokomoya yaye oku kunokuthintelwa njani? Inqaku elilandelayo liza kuthetha ngalo mbandela.
[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 5]
Ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana abafumana yonk’ into abayifunayo baphetha sele bengayikhathalelanga kwaloo nto bebeyifuna kwixesha nje elingephi
[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 7]
Ukuphila Ngembono Elungeleleneyo
Ukuphila ubomi obulula kufuna uzimiselo nokuceba kakuhle. Nanga amacebiso aye anceda abantu abaninzi.
◼ YENZA ULUDWE LWEZINTO ONAZO. Yintoni omele uyeke ukuyithenga? Yintoni omele wahlukane nayo? Ngaba ngumrhumo wamaphephancwadi? Amacwecwe omculo? Izinto ezingenamsebenzi zemoto?
◼ KHAWUZAME UKUPHILA UBOMI OBULULA. Ukuba akuyiginyi ncam le yokuphila ubomi obulula, kutheni ungazami nje iinyanga ezintandathu okanye unyaka? Zama ukungqina enoba ukuthenga izinto nokuchitha imali eninzi nokuba nezinto eziphathekayo kukwenza wonwabe ngakumbi na okanye wonwaba kancinane.
◼ QUKA INTSAPHO YAKHO KWIZICWANGCISO ZOKUPHILA UBOMI OBULULA. Iza kukuxhasa yaye akuyi kuba nzima kuyo xa usala isicelo sayo.
◼ CINGA NGOKUNIKA ABANTWANA BAKHO UMXHESHO. Nokuba bafuna ukugcina imali ukuze bathenge into ethile okanye baphile ngaphandle kwayo, baya kufunda ukuba nomonde noxabiso ngezinto abanazo. Kwakhona baza kufunda indlela yokwenza izigqibo.
◼ FUNDA IINDLELA EZIZA KUKUNCEDA UGCINE IMALI. Funa iivenkile ezithengisa ngamaxabiso aphantsi. Yenza uqingqo-mali. Thelekisa amaxabiso. Musa ukuzisebenzisa ixesha elide izinto zombane. Boleka iincwadi kumzi ogcina iincwadi endaweni yokuzithenga.
◼ VALA UMSANTSA WEXESHA. Khumbula ukuba, ukuphila ubomi obulula asikuko nje ukunciphisa izinto onazo, kodwa kukuchitha ixesha nabantu, intsapho nabahlobo bakho. Ngaba uyakwenza oko?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 6]
Ukuzimisela ukuba sisityebi kunokubangela ingxabano emtshatweni