Ukukhulisa Abantwana Ukususela Ebusaneni De Bafikise
“Xa besengaphantsi kweminyaka emihlanu ubudala, abantwana basoloko bekufutshane namalungu entsapho yaye kulula ukubafundisa isimilo. Kodwa xa beqalisa ukuya esikolweni babona indlela eyahlukileyo yokwenza izinto baze beve nendlela entsha yokuthetha.”—UValter, waseItaly.
NJENGOKUBA abantwana bekhula, bafunda izinto ezininzi. Badibana nabantu abangakumbi—njengabantwana abadlala nabo, abafunda nabo nezinye izalamane. Njengokuba uValter ocatshulwe ngasentla esitsho, ayisenguwe wedwa ofundisa umntwana wakho njengokuba kwakunjalo xa wayeseyimveku. Yiloo nto kubalulekile ukuba uxhakamfule eli thuba uze ufundise umntwana wakho ukubaluleka kokuthobela nokuba nembeko. Kubalulekile nokumfundisa umahluko phakathi kwento elungileyo nengalunganga.
Ezi zinto zichazwe apha azinakufundwa ngokukhawuleza okanye ngamabonandenzile. Kusenokufuneka ‘umohlwaye, umkhalimele, umbongoze, ngako konke ukuzeka kade umsindo nobugcisa bokufundisa.’ (2 Timoti 4:2) Abazali abangamaSirayeli bayalelwa oku ngokuphathelele imithetho kaThixo: “Uze uwabethelele kunyana wakho yaye uthethe ngawo ekuhlaleni kwakho endlwini yakho, nasekuhambeni kwakho ngendlela, nasekulaleni kwakho, nasekuvukeni kwakho.” (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Njengokuba esi sibhalo sibonisa, kubalulekile ukuqhubeka umqeqesha umntwana wakho.
Ukukhulisa abantwana kubandakanya iingxaki eziliqela. Makhe sithethe ngezimbalwa zazo.
Ixesha Lokuphulaphula
IBhayibhile ithi nangona likho ‘ixesha lokuthetha,’ kukwakho nelokuphulaphula. (INtshumayeli 3:7) Unokumfundisa njani umntwana wakho ukuphulaphula xa abanye—kuquka wena—bethetha? Enye indlela kukumisela umzekelo. Ngaba uyaphulaphula xa abanye, kuquka abantwana bakho bethetha?
Abantwana baphazamiseka lula yaye basenokude benze izinto ezikucaphukisayo njengoko uthetha nabo. Abantwana abafani, ngoko mfunde umntwana wakho uze ubone eyona ndlela ifanelekileyo yokuthetha naye. Ngokomzekelo, uDavid ongutata kwelaseBritani uthi: “Ndiye ndicele intombi yam ukuba ikuphinde ngamazwi ayo oko ndigqiba kuyixelela kona. Ngenxa yoko, iya ikwazi ukuphulaphula njengoko isiya ikhula.”
Xa uYesu wayeyalela abafundi bakhe wathi kubo: “Nikelani ingqalelo kwindlela eniphulaphula ngayo.” (Luka 8:18) Ukuba kufuneka nabantu abadala baphulaphule, kubekele phi ke ngoko ngabantwana!
“Nixolelana Ngesisa”
IBhayibhile ithi: “Qhubekani ninyamezelana yaye nixolelana ngesisa ukuba nabani na unesizathu sokukhalazela omnye.” (Kolose 3:13) Abantwana banako ukufundiswa ukuxolela. Inokwenziwa njani loo nto?
Njengokuba bekuye kwatshiwo ngokuphathelele ukuphulaphula, nakule inkalo kufuneka umisele umzekelo. Abantwana bafanele bakubone ukuba nawe uyabaxolela abanye abantu. UMarina umama waseRashiya uye azame ukumisela umzekelo kule nkalo. Uthi: “Sizama ukubamisela umzekelo abantwana bethu ngokuthi nathi sibaxolele abanye, sizamkele iimpazamo zabo size singaqumbi,” yaye uthi: “Xa ndenze impazamo ndiye ndixolise kubantwana bam. Ndifuna nabo bafunde ukwenjenjalo kwabanye.”
Ukufunda ukucombulula iingxaki nokuxolela kuza kubanceda xa bebadala. Fundisa abantwana bakho ukubacingela abanye nokuzivuma iimpazamo zabo. Ngokwenza njalo, uya kube ubafundisa isifundo esiya kubanceda njengoko bekhula.
‘Yibani Nombulelo’
Kula ‘maxesha amanqam ekunzima ukujamelana nawo,’ abantu abaninzi ‘bayazithanda.’ (2 Timoti 3:1, 2) Kufuneka ubafundise ukuba nombulelo ngoku besebancinane abantwana bakho. Umpostile uPawulos wabhala wathi: “Hlalani ninombulelo.”—Kolose 3:15.
Naxa besebancinane, abantwana banokufunda ukuba nembeko nokubacingela abanye. Njani? Kwiphephandaba iParents, uGqr. Kyle Pruett uthi: “Eyona ndlela yokufundisa abantwana ukuba nombulelo kukuba wena usoloko uwabulela amanye amalungu entsapho.” Wongezelela esithi: “Ngaloo ndlela usoloko ubonisa indlela oluxabisa ngayo uncedo lwawo nezinye izinto akwenzela zona . . . Kufuneka uziqhelise ukuyenza le nto.”
URichard indoda yaseBritani enabantwana usoloko ezama ukwenza oku. Uthi: “Mna nenkosikazi yam sifundisa abantwana bethu ukubulela xa abanye abantu, njengootitshala okanye umakhulu notatomkhulu wabo, beye basinceda. Xa siye samenywa esidlweni, siye sibhale ikhadi lombulelo size sicele bonke abantwana ukuba balityobele okanye bazobe umfanekiso kulo.” Ukuba nembeko nokuba nombulelo kuza kubanceda abantwana bakho bahlale kakuhle nabanye abantu xa bebadala.
“Musa Ukuluyeka Uqeqesho”
Njengoko abantwana bakho bekhula kubalulekile ukuba bazi ukuba izinto abazenzayo ziba nemiphumo. Naxa besebancinane kakhulu, izinto ezenziwa ngabantwana ekhaya, esikolweni okanye ekuhlaleni ziba nemiphumo. Unokufundisa abantwana bakho ukuba umntu uvuna akuhlwayelayo. (Galati 6:7) Njani?
IBhayibhile ithi: “Musa ukuluyeka uqeqesho.” (IMizekeliso 23:13) Ukuba ubuthe emntwaneni uza kumohlwaya ngenxa yesenzo esithile, yenze loo nto. UNorma, umama waseArgentina uthi: “Kubalulekile ukusoloko uyenza into oyithethayo. Ukuthetha le uze wenze leya kunokwenza umntwana abe namaqhinga.”
Abazali banokukuphepha ukuphikisana nomntwana emva kokuba onile ngokuqiniseka ukuba bamchazela kwangaphambi kokuba one imiphumo yokungathobeli. Abantwana abanakufane babe nenkani xa beyazi imithetho, beyazi imiphumo yokungayithobeli yaye beqonda ukuba loo miphumo ayinakutshintshwa.
Kakade ke, ukuze isohlwayo simncede umntwana, awufanele umohlwaye ngomsindo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Mabususwe kuni bonke ubukrakra bolunya nomsindo nengqumbo nokumemeza nokutshabhisa.” (Efese 4:31) Umntwana akafanele abethelwe oogqirha nezicaka yaye akafanele axhatshazwe—emzimbeni okanye ngokweemvakalelo.
Unokuwulawula njani umsindo wakho xa umntwana ekucaphukisile? UPeter, utata waseNew Zealand uthi: “Akusoloko kulula ukwenza oku kodwa abantwana kufuneka baqonde ukuba isohlwayo ngumphumo wezenzo zabo yaye asibangelwa kukungakwazi komzali ukulawula umsindo wakhe.”
UPeter nomkakhe bafundisa abantwana babo iingenelo zengqeqesho. Uthi: “Naxa abantwana sele betsibe elikaPhungela, siye sithethe nabo ngohlobo lomntu abafanele babe lulo kunokuba sigxininise kakhulu koko basandul’ ukukwenza.”
“Ukuba Nengqiqo Kwenu Makwazeke”
Xa wayethetha ngokuqeqesha abantu bakhe, uThixo wathi: “Ndiya kukubetha ngomlinganiselo ofanelekileyo.” (Yeremiya 46:28) Umntwana wakho uya kuqeqesheka kakuhle xa isohlwayo sisifanele isono asenzileyo. UPawulos wabhalela amaKristu esithi: “Ukuba nengqiqo kwenu makwazeke.”—Filipi 4:5.
Ukuba nengqiqo kuquka ukuqeqesha abantwana bakho ngendlela eya kubashiya benesidima. USanti, utata waseItali uthi: “Umntwana wam andimenzi azive enguthonqo. Kunoko, ndiye ndizame ukubona oyena nobangela wengxaki ndize ndiwulungise. Andibohlwayi abantwana bam xa kukho abanye abantu yaye ndiye ndizame kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukuba ndingabohlwayi phambi kwabanye abantwana. Kwakhona, andihlekisi ngabo xa kukho abanye abantu naxa sisedwa.”
URichard ocatshulwe ngaphambili naye uyabubona ubulumko bokuba nengqiqo. Uthi: “Umntwana akafane ohlwayelwe izinto ebezenze kudala. Xa sele umohlwayile, kubalulekile ukuba ungasoloko umkhumbuza ngeempazamo azenzileyo.”
Kungumsebenzi onzima yaye kufuna ukuzincama ukukhulisa abantwana kodwa ke kunemivuzo. Koko kuye kwafunyaniswa ngumama waseRashiya uYelena. Uthi: “Ndiye ndakhetha ukwenza umsebenzi wesingxungxo ukuze ndikwazi ukuba kunye nonyana wam. Kufun’ umgudu ukuze wenze oku yaye ndiye ndalahlekelwa ngokwasezimalini, kodwa imizamo yam ayikhange ibe lilize ngokukodwa xa ndibona indlela onwabe ngayo unyana wam nendlela esivana ngayo.”
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Abantwana banokufunda ukubacingela abanye
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Qeqesha abantwana ngendlela eya kubashiya benesidima