Indlela Endayifumana Ngayo Impendulo Ngokungabikho Kokusesikweni

Kubalisa u-Ursula Menne

Kudala ndinomnqweno wokubona bonke abantu bephethwe kakuhle. Lo mnqweno wada wabangela ukuba ndivalelwe kwintolongo yaseMpuma Jamani eyayiphethwe ngamaKomanisi. Okumangalisayo kukuba ndayifumana apho impendulo yokungabikho kokusesikweni. Makhe ndikubalisele.

NDAZALWA ngowe-1922 kwidolophu yaseJamani iHalle, enembali ebhaliweyo egubungela iminyaka engaphezu kwe-1 200. Idolophu yaseHalle eyakhiwe kumgama oziikhilomitha ezimalunga nama-200 kumzantsi-ntshona weBerlin yayiyenye yezona ndawo zokuqala ekwakugquba kuzo ubuProtestanti. Udadewethu uKäthe, wazalwa ngowe-1923. Utata wayesebenza emkhosini. Umama yena wayeyimvumi.

Ndayifunda kutata le nto yokufuna ukulwa nxamnye nokuphathwa kakubi kwabantu. Ukuphuma kwakhe emkhosini, utata wathenga ivenkile. Ekubeni inkoliso yabantu ababethenga kuye babengamahlwempu, wayedla ngokubanika izinto ngetyala. Noko ke, obu bubele bakhe babangela ukuba atshone. Le nto yenzeka kutata yayifanele ukuba indifundise ukuba akuyondlwan’ iyanetha ukulwa nxamnye nokungekho sikweni. Kodwa ke xa usemtsha yonk’ into ibonakala ngathi ilula.

Ndandimfuzile umama ngokuba netalente ibe wafundisa mna noKäthe ukucula nokudanisa. Ndandingumntwana odlamkileyo yaye mna noKäthe sasonwabile de kwangowe-1939.

Waqhawuk’ Ujingi Abantwana Bedlala

Emva kokuphumelela kumabanga aphantsi, ndaya kufunda kwisikolo somdaniso weballet, apho ndafika ndafunda nomdaniso weAusdruckstanz owawubhexeshwa nguMary Wigman. Nguye owahlahl’ indlela yohlobo lomdaniso apho abo bawenzayo bephalaz’ imbilini yabo ngendlela abadanisa ngayo. Ndaqalisa nokuzoba. Ngoko, ndandonwabile yaye ndifunda izinto ezininzi xa ndandisengumntwana. Kodwa ke ngonyaka wowe-1939 kwaqalisa iMfazwe Yehlabathi II. Esinye isihelegu esasehlelayo yaba kukusweleka kukatata ngowe-1941, ebulawa sisifo sephepha.

Imfazwe asingomdlalo wabantwana. Nangona ndandineminyaka eli-17 nje kuphela ubudala xa kwaqhambuka imfazwe, ndandicinga ukuba ihlabathi lishiywe ziingqondo. Ndabona inkitha yabantu ababekade bephila ubomi obuqhelekileyo bethandelwa yimpambano yamaNazi. Emva koko kwaqalisa indlala, ukufa nokutshatyalaliswa kwezinto. Indlu yakowethu yadilizwa yibhombu yaye ebudeni bemfazwe, amalungu entsapho yakowethu aliqela afa.

Xa kwaphela imfazwe ngowe-1945, mna nomama noKäthe sasisahlala eHalle. Noko ke, ngelo xesha ndandisele nditshatile yaye ndinomntwana oyintombazana kodwa izinto zazingandihambeli kakuhle emtshatweni. Mna nomyeni wam sahlukana yaye ekubeni kwakufuneka ndondle mna kunye nomntwana wam, ndaqalisa ukusebenza njengomdanisi nomzobi.

Emva kwemfazwe, iJamani yayahlulwe kane yaye idolophu yethu yayilawulwa ngurhulumente weSoviet Union. Ngenxa yoko, sonke kwafuneka sikuqhele ukulawulwa ngamaKomanisi. Ngowe-1949, icala leJamani esasihlala kulo elidla ngokubizwa ngokuba yiMpuma Jamani labizwa ngokuba yiGerman Democratic Republic (GDR).

Ukulawulwa NgamaKomanisi

Ngaloo minyaka, umama waqalisa ukugula kwaza kwafuneka ndimonge. Ndaqalisa ukusebenza kwiofisi karhulumente. Ngelo xesha ndadibana nabafundi ababevukela yaye bezama ukubonisa abantu ingcinezelo eyayikho. Ngokomzekelo, omnye umfundi akazange amkelwe eyunivesithi kuba uyise wayelilungu lamaNazi. Ndandimazi loo mfundi kuba sasidla ngokucula kunye. Ndandizibuza ukuba ‘kutheni le nto kufuneka asokole ngenxa yezono zikayise?’ Ndaya ndingena zwabha kwizinto ezazisenziwa ngaba bavukeli yaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndincedise xa kuqhankqalazwa. Ngenye imini ndada ndancamathisela amaphepha kwizakhiwo zenkundla yasekuhlaleni.

Enye into eyandicaphukisa nangakumbi yayizezinye zeeleta ekwakufuneka ndizibhale njengomabhalana weRegional Peace Committee. Ngenye imini, le Komiti yayifuna ukuthumela iincwadi zamaKomanisi kwelinye ixhego elalihlala kwiNtshona Jamani kuba ifuna ukulenza linuk’ umzondo ebantwini. Kwandicaphukisa gqitha ukuphathwa ngobuqhetseba kweli xhego kangangokuba ndayifihla eofisini loo pasile. Ngenxa yoko ayizange ide ithunyelwe.

‘Oyena Mntu Wayengathandwa’ Wandenza Ndanethemba

NgoJuni 1951 kwafika amadoda amabini eofisini yam aza athi: “Size kukubamba.” Andisa kwintolongo eyayibizwa ngokuba yiRoter Ochse okanye iRed Ox. Kunyaka emva koko, ndatyatyekwa ngesityholo sokuzama ukubhukuqa urhulumente. Kukho mfundi uthile owayendimpimpe kwiStasi okanye abacuphi, ebaxelela ukuba ndandikade ndiqhankqalaza. Ityala lam alizange lichotshelwe kakuhle kuba andizange ndiphulaphulwe xa ndandizama ukuzithethelela. Ndagwetywa iminyaka emithandathu ndithothoza entolongweni. Ngelo xesha ndaye ndagula yaye ndasiwa kwisibhedlele sasentolongweni apho ndandihlala nabanye abafazi abangama-40. Ndaqalisa ukoyika xa ndabona indlela ababengonwabanga ngayo. Ndaya emnyango ndibaleka ndaza ndaqalisa ukubetha ngenqindi ecangweni.

Unogada wathi, “Ufuna ntoni?”

Ndakhwaza ndisithi, “Ndifuna ukuphum’ apha. Noba ungandivalela ndedwa kodwa ndikhuphe apha.” Kakade ke akazange ayenze loo nto. Kungekudala emva koko, ndaphawula ukuba kwakukho inkosikazi eyayahlukile kwamanye. Yayibonakala emehlweni ukuba ayinaxhala. Ngoko ndahlala ecaleni kwayo.

Yandothusa gqitha xa yathi, “Uze ukulumkele ukuhlala ecaleni kwam. Kaloku bonke abantu abakule ndlu bayandicaphukela kuba ndiliNgqina likaYehova.”

Ngelo xesha ndandingazi ukuba amaNgqina kaYehova kuthiwa ziintshaba zorhulumente wamaKomanisi. Ekuphela kwento endandiyazi ngawo yayikukuba aBafundi beBhayibhile (igama awayekade ebizwa ngalo amaNgqina) ababini babedla ngokuya kutyelela utata xa ndandisengumntwana. Ndade ndakhumbula ndisiva utata esithi, “Banyanisile aBafundi beBhayibhile!”

Latsho lehla ixhala ndisakudibana nale nkosikazi ekwakusithiwa nguBerta Brüggemeier igama layo. Ndathi kuyo, “Ndicela undifundise ngoYehova.” Ukususela ngalo mini saqalisa ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye yaye sasidla ngokuncokola ngeBhayibhile. Enye yezinto endazifundayo kukuba uThixo oyinyaniso uYehova, unguThixo wothando, okusesikweni noxolo. Kwakhona, ndafunda ukuba uza kuwulungisa wonke umonakalo owenziwe ngabantu abangendawo nabakhohlakeleyo. INdumiso 37:10, 11 ithi: “Kusele ithutyana, angabikho ongendawo. . . Kodwa abalulamileyo baya kuwudla ilifa umhlaba, baziyolise ngokugqibeleleyo ngobuninzi boxolo.”

Ukukhululwa Kwam Nokubhacela ENtshona

Ndakhululwa ngowe-1956, emva kokuchitha iminyaka engaphezu kwemihlanu ngaphaya kwezitshixo. Emva kweentsuku ezintlanu ndikhululwe, ndayifulathela iGDR ndaza ndaya kuhlala eNtshona Jamani. Ngeloo xesha ndandineentombi ezimbini uHannelore noSabine endahamba nazo. Xa sasilapho, mna nomyeni wam sawuqhawula ngokusemthethweni umtshato ibe ndaphinda ndadibana namaNgqina kaYehova. Njengoko ndandifunda iBhayibhile, ndaphawula ukuba kwakuza kufuneka nditshintshe izinto ezininzi ukuze ndiphile ngendlela ethandwa nguYehova. Ndalwenza olo tshintsho ndaza ndabhaptizwa ngowe-1958.

Kamva ndaphinda ndatshata kwakhona kodwa ke nditshata neNgqina likaYehova—uKlaus Menne. Mna noKlaus sasonwabile ibe saba nabantwana ababini uBenjamin noTabia. Ngelishwa, uKlaus wasutywa kukufa ngengozi kwiminyaka emalunga nama-20 eyadlulayo yaye bendingumhlolokazi ukususela ngoko. Kodwa liyandithuthuzela ithemba lovuko kuba ndiyazi ukuba abafi baya kuvuselwa kwiParadesi eya kuba semhlabeni. (Luka 23:43; IZenzo 24:15) Kwakhona, kuyandivuyisa ukwazi ukuba bobane abantwana bam bakhonza uYehova.

Ukufunda kwam iBhayibhile kundincedile kuba nditsho ndabona ukuba nguYehova kuphela onokubangela ukuba okusesikweni kokwenene kwenziwe. Ngokungafaniyo nabantu, yena ujonga zonke iimeko zethu kunye nemvelaphi yethu—iinkcukacha ezidla ngokungaziwa ngabanye abantu. Olu lwazi luxabisekileyo lundenze ndaba noxolo kwanangoku, ingakumbi xa ndibona abanye abantu bephathwa kakubi okanye nam ndiphathwa kakubi. INtshumayeli 5:8 ithi: “Ukuba ubona kucinezelwa osweleyo, kuhluthwa nesigwebo ngogonyamelo nobulungisa kwiphondo, musa ukuthi manga yiloo nto, kuba ophakame ngakumbi kunalowo uphakamileyo ujongile, yaye kukho abo bangaphezulu kubo.” ‘Oyena uphakamileyo’ nguMdali wethu. AmaHebhere 4:13 athi: “Zonke izinto zize yaye zibhencekile emehlweni alowo simele siphendule kuye.”

Xa Ndikhangela Emva Kwiminyaka Ephantse Ibe Ngaphezu Kwama-90

Abantu badla ngokundibuza ukuba kwakunjani ukulawulwa ngamaNazi namaKomanisi. Ubomi babunzima xa kwakulawula aba rhulumente. Bobabini aba rhulumente bakwenza kwacaca ukuba abantu abakwazi ukuzilawula, njengokuba kanye benjalo bonke oorhulumente babantu. Ichan’ ucwethe iBhayibhile xa isithi: ‘Xa umntu elawula umntu iba kukwenzakala kwakhe.’—INtshumayeli 8:9.

Xa ndandisemtsha yaye ndingazi nto kangako, ndandicinga ukuba abantu banokukwazi ukulawula ngokusesikweni. Kodwa ngoku ndiyazi ukuba ayinakwenzeka loo nto. NguMdali wethu kuphela onokuzisa ihlabathi elinjalo yaye uza kukwenza oko ngokuthi atshabalalise bonke abantu abangendawo aze aphose iintambo zolawulo kuNyana wakhe uYesu Kristu, osoloko ecingela abanye abantu ngaphezu kwesiqu sakhe. Xa ithetha ngoYesu, iBhayibhile ithi: “Wabuthanda ubulungisa, waza wakuthiya ukuchas’ umthetho.” (Hebhere 1:9) Ndiyambulela uYehova ngokundisondeza kulawulo lwalo Kumkani unobulungisa endinethemba lokuphila ngonaphakade phantsi kolawulo lwakhe!

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Ndikunye neentombi zam uHannelore noSabine ukufika kwethu eNtshona Jamani

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Ndikunye nonyana wam uBenjamin nenkosikazi yakhe uSandra namhlanje