Kulumkele Ukuqhayisa

NAMHLANJE abaninzi ukuqhayisa bakujonga njengophawu oluhle. Ukuzigwagwisa ngamandla, ubuchule, noko ubani akuphumezileyo kuye kwayinto eqhelekileyo. Bambi bakholelwa kwelokuba ukuqhayisa kuyimfuneko ukuze kubekho impumelelo. Abanye bavakalelwa kukuba kukhulisa ukuzithemba kukabani. Iphephancwadi iTime lithi: “Ukubaluleka kokuthobeka, nangona kungekapheli ngokupheleleyo, sekuqalile ukubonakala njengento ephelelwe lixesha.” Umbhali uJody Gaylin ugqabaza esithi: “Ngelishwa, ukuqhayisa ngokuphandle . . . kuyinto yezi mini. Ukuncokola kunye nomhlobo wakho okanye nomntu oqhelene naye kunento entsha okuhambisana nayo: ukuzidumisa.”

Umgangatho uye wamiselwa ngabo bayimizekelo emihle. Usenokuba waweva amazwi alowo wayesakuba yintshatsheli kumdlalo wamanqindi: “Akwenzekanga ngengozi ukuba ndibe ngoyena mntu ubalaseleyo ehlabathini kwimbali yanamhlanje.” Kwakhona inkcazelo yelungu leqela lomculo iBeatles yaziwa ngokubanzi: “Sidume ngakumbi kunoYesu Kristu ngoku.” Ngoxa bambi babewajonga amagqabaza anjalo njengawathethwa ngokunyaniseka, abanye babagqala abo babewathetha njengemizekelo emihle yokuziphakamisa efanele ilandelwe.

Ukwesamela kokuqhayisa kuphakamisa umbuzo othi: Ngaba kulungile ukuqhayisa ngoko ubani anako nangobuchule bakhe? Kakade ke, kungokwemvelo ukuba neqhayiya ngoko ubani akuphumezileyo kwanokuba abelane ngako nabahlobo abasenyongweni nezalamane zakhe. Kodwa kuthekani ngabo balandela intetho ethi, “Ukuba ubufumene, cel’ injezu ngabo”? Ngokubhekele phaya, kuthekani ngabo, ngoxa bengaqhayisi ngokuphandle, ngobuchule baqinisekisa ukuba abanye bayazi ngamandla abo nangoko bakuphumezileyo? Ngaba ukuzibhengeza okunjalo kulungile, kukwayimfuneko, njengoko bambi besitsho?

Indlela Ekuluchaphazela Ngayo Ulwalamano

Khawucinge ngendlela okukuchaphazela ngayo ukuqhayisa kwabanye. Ngokomzekelo, usabela njani kwiinkcazelo ezilandelayo?

“Iincwadi endizibhalileyo ziyazodlula iincwadi zabanye.”—Umbhali owaziwayo.

“Ukuba ndandikho ngexesha lokudala, ngendandinikele amacebiso athile aluncedo angokulungelelanisa ummandla wendalo ngokulunge ngakumbi.”—Ukumkani wamaxesha aphakathi.

“UThixo akanakuba ukho, ukuba ebekho, bendingasayi kuyikholelwa into yokuba mna Andinguye.”—Isithandi sobulumko senkulungwane ye-19.

Ngaba utsalelekile kwaba bantu ngenxa yamagqabaza abo? Ngaba ucinga ukuba ubungakuvuyela ukunxulumana nabo? Ngokunokwenzeka ubungayi kwenjenjalo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuqhayisa—ngokunyaniseka okanye ngokwenza mnandi incoko—kubangela abanye bangakhululeki, bacaphuke, mhlawumbi babe nomona. Le yindlela ekwamchaphazela ngayo umdumisi uAsafu, owavuma esithi: “Ngokuba bendibamonela abaqhayisayo.” (INdumiso 73:3) Ngokuqinisekileyo, akakho kuthi ofuna ukubangela iimvakalelo ezimbi kubahlobo nakwizinxulumani zethu! Eyokuqala kwabaseKorinte 13:4 ithi: “Uthando . . . alugwagwisi [aluqhayisi, NW].” Uthando lobuthixo nokuzijonga ngeliso elibukhali iimvakalelo zabanye kuya kusiqhubela ekubeni sikuyeke ukucel’ injezu ngobuchule nangezinto esithi sinazo.

Xa umntu ezilawula yaye ethetha ngokuthozamileyo, wenza abo bamngqongileyo bazive bekhululekile yaye benokuzihlonela. Obu bubuchule obungenakuthelekiswa nanto. Mhlawumbi igosa laseburhulumenteni laseBritani uMhlekazi uChesterfield lalicinga ngoku xa lacebisa unyana walo lisithi: “Yiba sisilumko ngaphezu kwabanye abantu ukuba unako; kodwa ungabaxeleli ukuba usiso.”

Abantu abanaziphiwo zifanayo. Oko umntu othile akufumanisa kulula kusenokuba kungaphezu kwamandla omnye. Uthando luya kumshukumisela umntu ukuba aqhubane ngokunovelwano nabo bangenazo ezo ziphiwo anazo. Ngokunokwenzeka, nomnye umntu unezinye iintlobo zeziphiwo. Umpostile uPawulos wasixelela oku: “Ngalo ubabalo endababalwa ngalo, ndithi kubo bonke abaphakathi kwenu, mabangazicingeli ngaphezu kokuba bamelwe kukuzicingela ngako; mabazicingele ingcinga ephilileyo, njengoko uThixo abele ulowo nalowo umlinganiso wokholo.”—Roma 12:3.

Ukuqhayisa Kubangelwa Bubuthathaka

Ngoxa bambi besenokuzinxwema kubantu abaqhayisayo, beziva bedelekile xa bekho, abanye basabela ngokwahlukileyo. Bagqiba ngelithi abantu abaqhayisayo abanqabisekanga. Umbhali uFrank Trippett ucacisa isizathu sokuba umntu oqhayisayo esenokusinciphisa isidima sakhe emehlweni abanye, ngandlel’ ithile: “Entliziyweni wonke ubani uyazi ukuba ukuqhayisa ngokufuthi kubonakalisa ubuthathaka bobuqu obugqithileyo.” Ekubeni abaninzi bebona ngaphaya kokuqhayisa komntu, ngaba asibobulumko ukukuphepha ukuzizukisa okungenantsingiselo?

“Kodwa Kunjalo!”

Le yindlela bambi abazama ngayo ukuthethelela ukuzizukisa kwabo. Bavakalelwa kukuba ekubeni ngenene beneziphiwo kwiinkalo ezithile, ukwenza ngokungathi akunjalo bekuya kuba kukuhanahanisa.

Kodwa ngaba ukuqhayisa kwabo kuchanile? Ukuzicingela kutyekela ekuzigqwetheni izinto. Oko sikubona ngathi ngamandla abalaseleyo kwiziqu zethu kusenokubonakala kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwabanye. Isibakala sokuba umntu othile eziva eqhutyelwa ekubeni azigwagwise ngobuchule anabo sikwanokubonisa ukuba abubalaselanga kangako—abubalaselanga ngokwaneleyo ukuba buzimele bodwa ngaphandle kokubhengezwa. IBhayibhile ivuma utyekelo lomntu ngokuphathelele ukuzikhohlisa xa ibongoza isithi: “Ke lowo uba umi, makalumke angawi.”—1 Korinte 10:12.

Kwanokuba umntu unesiphiwo ngendlela engaqhelekanga kwinkalo ethile, ngaba oku kukwenza ukuqhayisa kuthetheleleke? Akunjalo, kuba ukuqhayisa kuzukisa abantu, ngoxa naziphi iziphiwo esinazo zivela kuThixo. Nguye ofanele azukiswe. Sinokuba yintoni isizathu sokuba sizukiswe ngokuthile esazalwa sinako? (1 Korinte 4:7) Ngaphezu koko, kanye njengokuba sinamandla, sikwanabo nobuthathaka. Ngaba ukunyaniseka kufuna ukuba sitsalele ingqalelo yethu kwiimpazamo nakwiintsilelo zethu? Bambalwa abantu abaqhayisayo ababonakala becinga njalo. UKumkani uHerode Agrippa I usenokuba wayesisithethi esinesiphiwo ngokwenene. Ukanti ukungathobeki kwakhe kwakhokelela kukufa okumasikizi. Eso siganeko sibi sibonisa indlela ekucekiseka ngayo ukuzingca kuThixo, kwanakubantu abaninzi.—IZenzo 12:21-23.

Ngokuqhelekileyo iziphiwo namandla ziye zaziwe ngaphandle kokuzibhengeza okungeyomfuneko. Xa abanye bebona baze bancome iimpawu okanye oko ubani akuphumezileyo, oko kuzisa uzuko olungakumbi kulowo kubhekiswa kuye. Ngobulumko IMizekeliso 27:2 ithi: “Mawudunyiswe ngomnye, ingabi ngowakho umlomo; mayibe nguwumbi, ingabi yeyakho imilebe yomlomo.”

Ngaba Kuyimfuneko Ukuze Kuphunyelelwe?

Bambi bavakalelwa kukuba ukuzibhengeza ngokuzithemba kuyimfuneko ukuze ubani aphumelele kwibutho lanamhlanje lokhuphiswano. Banexhala lokuba ukuba abathethi ngokuphandle baze babhengeze amandla abo, abasayi kuphawulwa, bengayi kuxatyiswa. Okumela inkxalabo yabo ngala magqabaza asuka kwiphephancwadi iVogue: “Apho sakha safundiswa ukuba ukuthobeka luphawu oluhle, ngoku sifunda ukuba ukuba neentloni kunokukutsalisa nzima.”

Kwabo banqwenela ukwenza inkqubela ngemilinganiselo yeli hlabathi, basenokuba nesizathu esivakalayo sokuxhalaba. Kodwa imeko yomKristu yahlukile. Uyazi ukuba uThixo uyakhathala yaye ekhetha ukusebenzisa ubuchule babathobekileyo, kungekhona abanekratshi. Ngoko ke, akuyomfuneko ukuba umKristu abhenele kwizenzo zokuziphakamisa. Liyinyaniso elokuba, umntu ozithembe ngokugqithiseleyo usenokufumana udumo lokwexeshana ngokuba ngonyanzelisayo okanye abe ngothanda ukulawula. Ukanti ekuhambeni kwexesha uye abhenceke aze athotywe, de ahlaziswe. Kunjengokuba uYesu Kristu watshoyo: “Osukuba ke eziphakamisa uya kuthotywa: nosukuba ezithoba uya kuphakanyiswa.”—Mateyu 23:12; IMizekeliso 8:13; Luka 9:48.

Iingenelo Zokuthobeka

URalph Waldo Emerson wabhala: “Wonke umntu endidibana naye uphakamile kum ngandlel’ ithile. Ngaloo ndlela, ndiyafunda kuye.” Amagqabaza akhe angqinelana nesibongozo esiphefumlelwe nguThixo sompostile uPawulos sokuba amaKristu afanele angenzi “nanye into ngokweyelenqe, nangokozuko olulambathayo. Athi ngokuthobeka kwentliziyo omnye ambalele omnye ekuthini nguyena wongamileyo kunaye.” (Filipi 2:3) Le mbono yokuthobeka ibeka ubani kwimeko yokufunda kwabanye.

Ngoko kuphaphele ukuba amandla akho angabi bubuthathaka bakho. Musa ukubuphazamisa ubuchule bakho noko ukuphumezileyo ngamazwi okuqhayisa. Kwiimpawu zakho ezintle yongezelela uphawu lokuthobeka. Lulo olukwenza ngokwenene uhlonelwe ngakumbi ngabanye. Olu phawu lunceda ubani abe nolwalamano olungakumbi nabantu akunye nabo yaye lubangela ukwamkelwa nguYehova uThixo.—Mika 6:8; 2 Korinte 10:18.