Indlela Onokubakha Ngayo Ubuhlobo
“UKUBA NOMHLOBO OMNYE YINTO EMNANDI KAKHULU EBOMINI; OWESIBINI UMFUMANA NGEBHAQO; YINTO ENQABILEYO UKUBA NABO BADE BABE BATHATHU.”—Henry Brooks Adams.
LOO mazwi abonisa indlela abanqabe ngayo abahlobo bokwenyaniso. Ngokufuthi abantu abangamalolo abafuna ubuhlobo badla ngokuviwa bethetha amazwi anjengala athi “Akukho mntu ndinokuya kuye,” “Andinakuthemba mntu,” okanye “Oyena mhlobo wam yinja yam.”
Kulucelomngeni ukwakha nokugcina ubuhlobo obungapheliyo. Uhlolisiso oluye lwenziwa lubonise ukuba “eUnited States abantu abadala abangama-25 ekhulwini bangamaxhoba ‘obulolo obungapheliyo’ yaye . . . isiqingatha sabantu baseFransi siye senziwa amakheswa.” Ukwanda kwemibutho yokwenza amadinga, amajelo onxibelelwano olwenziwa ngekhompyutha nentabalala yezibhengezo zamaphephandaba ezenziwa ngabo bafuna amaqabane konke kubonisa ukuba abantu bayakunqwenela ukunxibelelana nabanye abantu.
Ubulolo buchaphazela kungekuphela nje ingqondo yomntu kodwa nempilo yakhe yomzimba, utsho njalo uGqr. David Weeks, oyingcali yokusebenza kwemithambo-luvo. “Baninzi abaguli endibanyangayo abanoloyiko olubangelwa ngamaxhala nabadandathekileyo abanokuchazwa njengamalolo. Kukho ukunxibelelana okukhoyo phakathi kodandatheko olunzulu nobulolo obunzulu.”
Uqhawulo-mtshato nokuqhekeka kwentsapho kubangela ukuba abantu abaninzi ngakumbi baphile njengamalolo. Uhlolisiso olwenziwe eBritani lubonise ukuba ekuqaleni kwenkulungwane yama-21, abantu belo lizwe abangama-30 ekhulwini baya kube behlala bodwa.
IZibhalo eziphefumlelweyo zaxela kwangaphambili ukuba umoya wokuzingca uya kwesamela “ngemihla yokugqibela.” (2 Timoti 3:1-5) Kubonakala ngathi abantu abaninzi banomdla ngakumbi kwizinto eziphathekayo, njengendlu okanye inqwelo-mafutha, okanye kwimisebenzi yabo yempangelo kunokuhlakulela ulwalamano nabanye abantu. UAnthony Storr ongumbhali uthi: “Kunokuba banikele ingqalelo kumaqabane abo nabantwana babo, ubomi babo bujoliswe kwindawo abasebenza kuyo.”
ABAHLOBO BOKWENENE BAXABISEKILE
Uhlobo lobomi obuphilayo buxhomekeke kakhulu kubuhlobo onabo. Ngokufuthi abantu abaphila bodwa abonwabi ngenxa yokuba bengenamhlobo banokwabelana naye ngezinto abanazo okanye iingcamango zabo. Ayinyaniso amazwi kaYesu Kristu athi: “Kunoyolo ngakumbi ukupha kunokwamkela.” (IZenzo 20:35) Ephinda la mazwi ayinyaniso, umbhali wemibongo oliNgesi uGeorge Byron wabhala wathi: “Bonke abaya kufumana uvuyo, bamele babelane nabanye ngalo.”
Yintoni umhlobo? Isichazi-magama sichaza umhlobo ngokuthi “ngumntu onamathele komnye kuba emthanda okanye emhlonela.” Umhlobo wenyaniso unokukunceda ucinge ngezinto eziyingenelo. Unokukukhuthaza aze akwakhe ngamaxesha osizi. Unokude abelane nawe ngentlungu yakho. UKumkani uSolomon wathi: “Iqabane lokwenyaniso lithanda ngamaxesha onke, yaye lingumzalwana ozalelwe ixesha lokubandezeleka.” (IMizekeliso 17:17) Ngoxa izinto eziphathekayo ziphelelwa lixabiso emva kwexesha elithile, ubuhlobo bokwenyaniso buyakhula buze buchume ngokuhamba kwexesha.
IZibhalo zikhuthaza amaKristu ukuba ‘aphangalale’ eluthandweni lwawo. (2 Korinte 6:13) Kububulumko ukuzama ukufikelela kwabanye. KwiNtshumayeli 11:1, 2, sifunda oku: “Siphose isonka sakho phezu kwamanzi, kuba uya kuphinda usifumane emva kwemihla emininzi. Nika babe sixhenxe isahlulo sakho, okanye abasibhozo, kuba akuyazi intlekele eya kwenzeka emhlabeni.” Usebenza njani lo mgaqo kumbandela wobuhlobo? Ukuba uhlakulela ubuhlobo nabantu abaninzi, bambi babo banokukunceda xa kuvela iingxaki.
Abahlobo bokwenyaniso banokukukhusela ngenye indlela. “Amanxeba othandayo athembekile,” itsho njalo IMizekeliso 27:6. Nangona besenokuba baninzi abantu abakuncomayo, ngabahlobo bokwenyaniso kuphela abaya kukubonisa impazamo enzulu, bakunike nesiluleko esakhayo ngendlela enothando.—IMizekeliso 28:23.
Abahlobo abalungileyo nabasenyongweni baphakathi kwezipho ezinqabileyo ezinokuba nempembelelo eyakhayo kuwe. KwiZenzo isahluko 10, sifunda ngesiganeko esehlela igosa lomkhosi waseRoma uKorneli, elaxelelwa yingelosi ukuba umthandazo walo uviwe. Elindele ukundwendwelwa ngumpostile uPetros, uKorneli ‘wabizela ndawonye izalamane nabahlobo bakhe abasondeleyo.’ Abo bahlobo basondeleyo bakaKorneli babephakathi kwabeeNtlanga bokuqala abangalukanga abamkela iindaba ezilungileyo baza bathanjiswa ngomoya oyingcwele, benethemba lokulawula kunye noKristu eBukumkanini bukaThixo. Enjani yona intsikelelo kubahlobo bakaKorneli abasenyongweni!—IZenzo 10:24, 44.
Noko ke, unokubenza njani abahlobo? IBhayibhile, ethetha okuninzi ngobuhlobo, inikela impendulo eluncedo. (Bona ibhokisi engasezantsi.)
APHO UNOKUBAKHA KHONA UBUHLOBO BOKWENYANISO
Eyona ndawo onokubakha kuyo ubuhlobo bokwenyaniso kusebandleni lobuKristu. Okokuqala, unokusebenzisa ithuba lokwakha ubuhlobo noYehova, uMdali wakho noBawo osezulwini, kunye noYesu Kristu, uMsindisi wakho. “Akukho bani unothando olukhulu kunolu, lokuba uthile anikezele umphefumlo wakhe ngenxa yabahlobo bakhe,” watsho uYesu, okumemayo ukuba ube ngumhlobo wakhe. (Yohane 15:13, 15) Ngokwenza ubuhlobo noYehova kunye noYesu Kristu, unokuqiniseka ukuba baya ‘kukwamkelela kwiindawo zokuhlala ezingunaphakade.’ Ewe, ubuhlobo kunye noYehova noYesu buthetha ubomi obungunaphakade.—Luka 16:9; Yohane 17:3.
Unokubuzuza njani ubuhlobo babo obufudumeleyo? Izinto eziyimfuneko kumntu oza kuba lundwendwe ententeni kaYehova njengomnye wabahlobo bakhe zichazwe kwiNdumiso 15. Tyhila iBhayibhile, uze ufunde iindinyana ezintlanu zaloo ndumiso. Ukongezelela koko, uYesu Kristu wathi: “Ningabahlobo bam ukuba nenza oko ndiniyalela kona.”—Yohane 15:14.
Ewe, ngokufundisisa ngenyameko uze usebenzise ukhokelo oluvela kwiLizwi likaThixo, iBhayibhile, ubonisa ukuba ufuna ukuba ngumhlobo kaYehova noYesu. Ukuze wenjenjalo, umele uye rhoqo kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu, apho kudluliselwa khona ulwazi ngoYehova uThixo. Zinikele ngokuthembeka ekuphulaphuleni uYehova, yaye uya kusondela kuye noNyana wakhe.
Ezintlanganisweni unokuqhelana nabantu abathanda uYehova nababonakalisa iziqhamo zomoya—uthando, uvuyo, uxolo, ukuzeka kade umsindo, ububele, ukulunga, ukholo, ubulali nokuzeyisa—ebomini babo. (Galati 5:22, 23) Ukuba uzimisele ngokwenene ukwenza abahlobo uze uphelise ubulolo, yiya kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu veki nganye. Ngokwenjenjalo uya kwindawo efanelekileyo ngexesha elifanelekileyo ukuze uhlakulele ubuhlobo obungapheliyo nabantu bakaThixo abasikelelekileyo.
ABAHLOBO BAKANAPHAKADE
Ubuhlobo bokwenyaniso sisipho esingummangaliso esivela kuYehova uThixo. Buvela kubuntu bakhe nakwindlela ayiyo. Ngenxa yomoya wakhe wothando nesisa, uzalise umhlaba ngezidalwa ezikrelekrele onokuhlakulela ubuhlobo nazo. Nxulumana namanye amaKristu. Wakhuthaze. Sebenza nawo kubulungiseleli. Thandaza kunye nawo yaye uwathandazele rhoqo. Uya kube uxelisa uYehova noNyana wakhe, uYesu Kristu.
Ubuhlobo sisipho wonk’ ubani anokukwazi ukuphisa ngaso nanokukwazi ukusamkela. Kwikamva elingekude, uya kufumana ithuba lokwandisa abahlobo bakho. Unokwakha ubuhlobo nezigidi zabantu abaphilayo ngoku, nabo babephila kwizizukulwana ezadlulayo, abalele ekufeni belindele uvuko xa ‘ukufa kuya kube kungasekho.’ (ISityhilelo 21:4; Yohane 5:28, 29) Yenza umgudu wokuba ngumntu onobuhlobo ngoku, uze wakhe ubuhlobo nabo bathanda uYehova. Yiba nosukelo lokuba ngumhlobo kaYehova uThixo noYesu Kristu ngokuphulaphula iLizwi likaThixo eliphefumlelweyo. Yaye akusayi kuba lilolo kwakhona, ukusa emaphakadeni.
[Ibhokisi/Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 22, 23]
AMANYATHELO AMATHANDATHU AKHOKELELA KUBUHLOBO OBUNGAPHELIYO
1. YIBA NGUMHLOBO. UAbraham wabizwa ngokuba “ngumhlobo kaYehova” ngenxa yokholo lwakhe olungagungqiyo. (Yakobi 2:23) Kodwa sasikho isizathu esongezelelekileyo. IBhayibhile ithi uAbraham wamthanda uThixo. (2 Kronike 20:7) Wathabatha inyathelo kuqala waza wamazisa uYehova ngeemvakalelo zakhe. (Genesis 18:20-33) Ewe, kufuneka uthabathe inyathelo kuqala ukuze ubonise ukuba ungumhlobo. UYesu wathi: “Ziqheliseni ukupha, yaye abantu baya kunipha.” (Luka 6:38) Ilizwi lokhuthazo okanye ukunikela uncedo kunokuba sisiqalo sobuhlobo obusenyongweni. Umbhali wezincoko waseMerika uRalph Waldo Emerson wakha wathi: “Ekuphela kwendlela yokufumana umhlobo kukuba wena ube ngumhlobo.”
2. ZINIKE IXESHA LOKUHLAKULELA UBUHLOBO. Inkoliso yabantu iyazinqwenela iingenelo zobuhlobo. Ukanti, ixakeke gqitha ukuba ingazinika ixesha lokwenza ubuhlobo. EyabaseRoma 12:15, 16 isikhuthaza ukuba sabelane nabanye ngolonwabo nempumelelo, intlungu nodano abalufumanayo. Ithi: “Yibani nemihlali kunye nabantu abanemihlali; lilani kunye nabantu abalilayo. Nyamekelanani.” UYesu Kristu, nangona wayengumntu oxakekileyo, wayesoloko ezinika ixesha lokuba nabahlobo bakhe. (Marko 6:31-34) Khumbula ukuba, ubuhlobo, njengesityalo seentyatyambo, bufuna ukunkcenkceshelwa nokuhlakulelwa ukuze bukhule—yaye oko kufuna ixesha.
3. NIKELA INGQALELO XA ABANYE BETHETHA. Ngokufuthi abantu abaphulaphula ngenyameko xa abanye bethetha bakufumanisa kulula ukuba nabahlobo. “Wonke umntu umele akhawuleze ukuva, acothe ukuthetha,” utsho njalo umfundi uYakobi. (Yakobi 1:19) Xa uncokola nabanye, bonakalisa umdla wobuqu kwindlela abavakalelwa ngayo. Bakhuthaze ukuba bathethe ngeziqu zabo. Khokela ekubonakaliseni imbeko kubo. (Roma 12:10) Baya kwandula ke bakufune ukuba kunye nawe. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, ukuba uyithabathela kuwe yonke incoko, okanye usoloko utsalela ingqalelo kuwe siqu, kuya kuba nzima ukuba ufumane umntu onokukuphulaphula okanye oyikhathaleleyo indlela ovakalelwa ngayo okanye izinto ozifunayo.
4. XOLELA. UYesu wakha waxelela uPetros ukuba axolele “ukusa kwizihlandlo ezingamashumi asixhenxe anesixhenxe.” (Mateyu 18:21, 22) Umhlobo wenyaniso uyakhawuleza ukuzibetha ngoyaba impazamo ezingephi. Umzekelo: Abanye abantu abakuthandi ukutya i-raspberry ngenxa yeepete zayo ezincinane. Noko ke, abo basinandiphayo esi siqhamo abaziboni ezo pete. Abahlobo bokwenyaniso bathandwa ngenxa yeempawu zabo ezintle; iimpazamo zabo ezingephi zibethwa ngoyaba. UPawulos wasibongoza esithi: “Qhubekani ninyamezelana yaye nixolelana ngesisa.” (Kolose 3:13) Abo bazifundisa ukuxolela baba nabahlobo ixesha elide.
5. BUHLONELE UBOMI BANGASESE BABANYE. Wonk’ ubani uyafuna ukuba yedwa, kuquka abahlobo bakho. IMizekeliso 25:17 ngobulumko ithi: “Lunqabise unyawo lwakho kwindlu yedlelane lakho, ukuze lingadikwa nguwe lize likuthiye.” Ngenxa yoko, bonisa ulwazelelelo ngezihlandlo otyelela ngazo nangobude bexesha olichithayo xa utyelele abahlobo bakho. Kuphephe ukufuna ukubanga, okunokukhokelela kwikhwele. Sebenzisa ingqiqo xa uchaza izinto ozithandayo naxa uveza uluvo lwakho ngemicimbi ethile. Oku kuba negalelo ekubeni nobuhlobo obuhlaziyayo nobuthandwayo.
6. YIBA NESISA. Ubuhlobo buhlakulelwa ngezenzo zesisa. Umpostile uPawulos ucebisa ukuba ‘singagogotyi lutho, silungele ukwabelana.’ (1 Timoti 6:18) Ngokomzekelo, yabelana nabanye ngamazwi okhuthazo. (IMizekeliso 11:25) Kulungele ukuncoma ngokunyanisekileyo nokuthetha izinto ezakhayo. Xa ubonisa umnqweno onyanisekileyo kwintlalo-ntle yabanye, bayatsaleleka kuwe. Cinga ngento onokubenzela yona kunokuba unikele ingqalelo kwinto abanokukwenzela yona.