Ibali Lobomi

Sasisebenza Kunye

NGOKUBALISWA NGUMELBA BARRY

NgoJulayi 2, 1999, mna nomyeni wam sasikwintlanganiso enkulu yamaNgqina kaYehova, njengoko sasiye izihlandlo ezingamawaka kwiminyaka engama-57 yomtshato wethu. ULloyd wayenikela intetho yokugqibela kwindibano yesithili eHawaii ngoLwesihlanu. Ngesiquphe wawa. Phezu kwayo yonke imigudu yokumvusa, wafa.a

HAYI indlela abaxabiseke ngayo abazalwana noodade abangamaKristu baseHawaii ababesoloko bekunye nam baza bandinceda ukuze ndikwazi ukunyamezela le ntlungu! ULloyd wabuchukumisa kakhulu ubomi babaninzi, kwakunye nabaninzi ehlabathini lonke.

Kwiminyaka emalunga nemibini emva kokufa kwakhe, ndiye ndacinga ngeminyaka exabisekileyo esayichitha sobabini—emininzi sikwisabelo sobuvangeli basemazweni nakwikomkhulu lamaNgqina kaYehova eBrooklyn, eNew York. Ndikhumbula ngobomi bam eSydney, eOstreliya, nocelomngeni esahlangabezana nalo sinoLloyd ukuze sitshate ekuqaleni kweMfazwe Yehlabathi II. Noko ke, kuqala makhe ndikuxelele indlela endaba liNgqina ngayo nendlela endadibana ngayo noLloyd emva phayaa ngowe-1939.

Indlela Endaba LiNgqina Ngayo

UJames noHenrietta Jones yayingabazali bam abathandekayo nabanenyameko. Ndagqiba esikolweni ngowe-1932, xa ndandineminyaka eli-14 kuphela ubudala. Ngelo xesha ihlabathi laliphakathi kukuDodobala Okukhulu. Ndaqalisa ukusebenza ukuze ndincedise intsapho, eyayiquka oodade wethu abancinane ababini. Kwiminyaka nje embalwa, ndandinomsebenzi ohlawulayo ndinamabhinqa aselula aliqela asebenza phantsi kwam.

Ebudeni beli thuba, ngowe-1935, uMama wamkela uncwadi lweBhayibhile komnye wamaNgqina kaYehova yaye kungekudala waqiniseka ukuba uyifumene inyaniso. Sonke sasicinga ukuba uphambene. Noko ke, ngenye imini ndabona incwadana enomxholo othi Bapina Abafileyo? yaye lo mxholo wabangel’ umdla kum. Ngoko ndayifunda ngasese le ncwadana. Zaguquka izinto! Kanye ngoko ndaqalisa ukuya noMama kwintlanganiso yaphakathi evekini eyayibizwa ngokuba Sisifundo Esingumzekelo. Incwadana enomxholo othi Model Study—ekugqibeleni kwabakho zantathu—yayinemibuzo neempendulo kwakunye nezibhalo ezixhasa iimpendulo.

Malunga nelo xesha, ngoAprili 1938, uJoseph F. Rutherford, ummeli wekomkhulu lamaNgqina kaYehova, watyelela eSydney. Intetho yakhe yesidlangalala yayiyeyokuqala endaya kuyo. Yayimele ukuba ibe kwiHolo yeDolophu yaseSydney, kodwa abachasi baphumelela ekubeni singayisebenzisi le ndawo. Kunoko, le ntetho yanikelwa kwiBala leMidlalo laseSydney elikhulu. Ngenxa yale nkcaso oku kwaziwa ngabantu abaninzi, kweza abangama-10 000, inani elimangalisayo xa sicinga ukuba kwakukho amaNgqina ali-1 300 kuphela eOstreliya ngelo xesha.

Kungekudala emva koko, ndaba nesabelo kwinkonzo yasentsimini okwesihlandlo sokuqala—ndingakhange ndiqeqeshwe. Xa iqela lethu lafika kwintsimi esasiza kushumayela kuyo, lowo wayekhokela wathi kum, “Yindlu yakho leya.” Ndandisoyika kangangokuba xa elinye ibhinqa lavula emnyango, ndathi, “Ndicela ukwazi ixesha?” Langena ngaphakathi, lajonga ixesha, laza labuya landixelela. Ndaba ndigqibile. Ndabuyela kwinqwelo-mafutha.

Noko ke, andizange ndinikezele, yaye kungekudala ndandisabelana nabanye ngesigidimi soBukumkani rhoqo. (Mateyu 24:14) NgoMatshi 1939, ndafuzisela uzahlulelo lwam kuYehova ngokubhaptizwa kwibhafu yommelwane wam, uDorothy Hutchings. Ngenxa yokuba kwakungekho bazalwana, kungekudala emva kokubhaptizwa kwam, ndanikwa amalungelo ebandla ngokuqhelekileyo abelwa amadoda angamaKristu.

Ngokuqhelekileyo iintlanganiso zethu zaziqhutyelwa kumakhaya abantu, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha sasiqesha iholo ukuze sinikele iintetho zesidlangalala. Kwafika umzalwana omhle oselula kwibandla lethu elincinane eze kunikela intetho, esuka eBheteli, kwisebe lethu leofisi. Ndingazi, wayenesinye isizathu sokuza—wayefuna ukundazi ngakumbi. Ewe, leyo yindlela endadibana ngayo noLloyd.

Ukudibana Nentsapho KaLloyd

Kungekudala ndanqwenela ukukhonza uYehova ixesha elizeleyo. Noko ke, xa ndabhalisela ubuvulindlela (ukuba nesabelo kumsebenzi wokushumayela ixesha elizeleyo), ndabuzwa enoba ndingathanda ukukhonza eBheteli kusini na. Ngoko ngoSeptemba 1939, inyanga eyaqala ngayo iMfazwe Yehlabathi II, ndaba lilungu lentsapho yaseBheteli eStrathfield, ihlomela-dolophu laseSydney.

NgoDisemba 1939, ndaya kwindibano eyayiseNew Zealand. Ekubeni uLloyd wayengowase-New Zealand, wayesiya apho naye. Sahamba ngenqanawa enye, yaye sazana ngakumbi. ULloyd walungiselela ukuba ndidibane nonina noyise noodade wabo kwindibano eyayiseWellington yaye kamva kwikhaya labo eChristchurch.

Ukuvalwa Komsebenzi Wethu

NgoMgqibelo, ngoJanuwari 18, 1941, abasemagunyeni beCommonwealth baya kwiofisi yesebe ngemigrugra yeenqwelo-mafutha ezimnyama ezazimalunga nesithandathu ukuza kuthimba isakhiwo. Ekubeni ndandisebenza kwindlu yabalindi emasangweni eBheteli, ndandingowokuqala ukubabona. Kwiiyure ezili-18 ngaphambilana, saxelelwa ngokuvalwa komsebenzi wethu, ngoko phantse lonke uncwadi neefayile zazishenxisiwe kwisebe. Kwiveki elandelayo, amalungu amahlanu entsapho yaseBheteli, kuquka uLloyd, avalelwa entolongweni.

Ndandisazi ukuba eyona nto babeyifuna ngamandla abazalwana ababesentolongweni kukutya kokomoya. Ukuze ndikhuthaze uLloyd, ndagqiba kwelokuba ndimbhalele “iileta zothando.” Ndandiziqalisa ngendlela ezibhalwa ngayo ngokuqhelekileyo iileta ezinjalo, kodwa ndandiye ndikhuphele amanqaku eMboniselo onke ndize ndityobele njengesithandwa sakhe. Emva kweenyanga ezine ezinesiqingatha, uLloyd wakhululwa.

Satshata Saza Saqhubeka Nenkonzo

Ngowe-1940, unina kaLloyd watyelela eOstreliya, yaye uLloyd wamxelela ukuba sicinga ngokutshata. Wamcebisa ukuba angatshati kuba isiphelo sale nkqubo yezinto sasibonakala sisondele. (Mateyu 24:3-14) Wawuchaza umnqweno wakhe nakubahlobo bakhe, kodwa sihlandlo ngasinye, babesithi makangatshati. Ekugqibeleni, ngenye imini ngoFebruwari 1942, uLloyd wandithabatha ngokufihlakeleyo—kunye namaNgqina amane awavumayo ukuba aza kukugcina kuyimfihlo oku—saya kwiofisi yokubhalisa, saza satshata. Ngelo xesha, eOstreliya kwakungekho lungiselelo lokuba amaNgqina kaYehova atshatise.

Nangona singazange sivunyelwe ukuba siqhubeke nenkonzo yethu yaseBheteli njengesibini esitshatileyo, sacelwa ukuba siye kumsebenzi wobuvulindlela obukhethekileyo. Sasamkela ngovuyo isabelo sokuya kwidolophu esemaphandleni ebizwa ngokuba yiWagga Wagga. Umsebenzi wethu wokushumayela wawusavaliwe, yaye sasingenamali, ngokwenene sasifanele siwulahlele kuYehova umthwalo wethu.—INdumiso 55:22.

Sahamba ngebhayisekile eyenzelwe abantu ababini saya emaphandleni, sadibana nabantu abanobubele, saza sathetha nabo ixesha elide. Bambalwa abamkela isifundo seBhayibhile. Noko ke, omnye umnini-venkile wawuxabisa kakhulu umsebenzi esasiwenza kangangokuba wayesinika iziqhamo nemifuno veki nganye. Emva kokuba sichithe iinyanga ezintandathu eWagga Wagga, sacelwa ukuba sibuyele eBheteli.

Intsapho yaseBheteli yaphuma kwiofisi yaseStrathfield ngoMeyi 1942 yaza yafudukela kumakhaya abantu. Yayifuduka kwelinye ikhaya iye kwelinye emva kweeveki ezithile ukuze iphephe ukubanjwa. Xa mna noLloyd sabuyela eBheteli ngoAgasti, sayithelela kwenye yezi ndawo. Isabelo sethu emini sasikukusebenza kumacandelo okushicilela awayefihliwe. Ekugqibeleni, ngoJuni 1943, umsebenzi wethu wavulwa.

Ukulungiselela Inkonzo Yobuvangeli Basemazweni

NgoAprili 1947 sanikwa izicelo zokuya kwiSikolo seBhayibhile seWatchtower saseGiliyadi, esasiseSouth Lansing, eNew York, eUnited States. Ngelo xesha, sabelwa ukuba sityelele amabandla eOstreliya ukuze siwomeleze ngokomoya. Emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa, safumana isimemo sokuya kwiklasi ye-11 yaseGiliyadi. Kwakusele iiveki ezintathu ukuba sihlengahlengise iimeko zethu size sipakishe iimpahla zethu. Sashiya intsapho nabahlobo ngoDisemba 1947 saza saya eNew York kwakunye nabanye abali-15 abasuka eOstreliya ababemenywe kwiklasi enye.

Iinyanga ezimbalwa sikwiSikolo saseGiliyadi zadlula ngokukhawuleza, saza safumana isabelo sobuvangeli basemazweni eJapan. Ekubeni ukufumana iincwadi zethu zokuya eJapan kwakulibazisa, uLloyd waphinda wafumana isabelo sokuba ngumveleli ohambahambayo wamaNgqina kaYehova. Amabandla esabelwa ukuba siwatyelele ayeqala kwisixeko saseLos Angeles ukusa kumda waseMexico. Sasingenayo inqwelo-mafutha, ngoko veki nganye ngothando amaNgqina ayesisa ngeenqwelo-mafutha zawo ukusuka kwibandla elithile ukusa kwelilandelayo. Loo mmandla weso siphaluka sikhulu, ngoku ubumba izithili ezithathu zesiNgesi nezithathu zeSpanish, sithili ngasinye senziwe ziziphaluka ezilishumi!

Ngesiquphe, wagaleleka uOktobha 1949, yaye sasinga eJapan ngenqanawa eyayiyeyomkhosi. Icala elithile kule nqanawa lalenzelwe amadoda yaye elinye icala lalilelamabhinqa nabantwana. Kusuku nje olunye ngaphambi kokufika eYokohama, kwabakho inkanyamba. Kuyabonakala ukuba yasusa amafu, kuba xa kwavela ilanga ngosuku olulandelayo, ngo-Oktobha 31, sabona iNtaba iFuji entle. Hayi indlela esaziva samkeleke ngayo kwisabelo sethu esitsha!

Ukusebenza NamaJapan

Njengoko sasisondela kwizibuko, sabona amakhulu abantu abaneenwele ezimnyama. ‘Hayi indlela abangxola ngayo!’ sacinga njalo njengoko sisiva loo ngxolo. Wonk’ umntu wayenxibe izihlangu ezenziwe ngomthi ezazingxola kumgangatho owenziwe ngamaplanga. Salala eYokohama, saza emva koko sahamba ngololiwe ukuya kwisabelo sethu sobuvangeli basemazweni eKobe. Apho uDon Haslett, endandifunda naye eGiliyadi owafika eJapan iinyanga ezimbalwa ngaphambilana, wayeqeshe ikhaya labavangeli basemazweni. Yayiyindlu entle, enkulu, eyenziwe ngendlela yaseNtshona enemigangatho emibini—engenafanitshala!

Ukuze sifumane umatrasi wokulala, sacheba ingca ende esebaleni saza sayandlala. Baqala ngaloo ndlela ubomi bethu bobuvangeli basemazweni, singenanto ngaphandle nje kwempahla esasiyiphethe. Safumana isitovu samalahle esincinane, esibizwa ngokuthi yihibachi, ukuze kube shushu nokuze sipheke ngaso. Ngobunye ubusuku, uLloyd wafumana abavangeli basemazweni ababekunye nathi, uPercy noIlma Iszlaub befe isiqaqa. Babuyela ezingqondweni emva kokuba eye wavula iifestile ukuze kungene umoya obandayo. Nam ndakha ndafa isiqaqa ngoxa ndandipheka kwisitovu samalahle. Ezinye izinto sathabatha ixesha ukuze siqhelane nazo!

Eyona nto yayiphambili yayikukufunda ulwimi, yaye sasifunda isiJapan iiyure ezili-11 ngosuku kangangenyanga. Emva koko, saya kubulungiseleli sinesivakalisi esinye okanye ezibini ezibhalwe phantsi ukuze siqalise incoko. Kusuku lwam lokuqala ndiphumile, ndadibana nebhinqa elihle, uMiyo Takagi, elandamkela ngobubele. Xa sasibuyela, sazama ngoncedo lwezichazi-magama zesiJapan nesiNgesi de kwabakho isifundo seBhayibhile esinenkqubela. Ngowe-1999, ngoxa sasiye kunikezelo lwezakhiwo zesebe ezongeziweyo eJapan, ndabona uMiyo kwakhona, kwakunye nabanye abathandekayo endandifundisisa nabo. Kuye kwadlula iminyaka engama-50, kodwa basengabavakalisi boBukumkani abanenzondelelo, besenza konke okusemandleni ukuze bakhonze uYehova.

EKobe ngoAprili 1, 1950, kwaya abantu abamalunga ne-180 kwiSikhumbuzo sokufa kukaKristu. Sothuka sakubona abantu abangama-35 ababeze ngenjongo yokuba nesabelo kubulungiseleli basentsimini kwintsasa elandelayo. Ngamnye kubavangeli basemazweni wathabatha abathathu okanye abane kwaba basebatsha waya nabo enkonzweni. Abaninimzi babengathethi nam—mna mphambukeli owayesazi okuncinane ngolwimi lwabo—kodwa bathetha nabangamaJapan ababeye kwiSikhumbuzo ababendipheleka. Ingxoxo yaqhubeka ixesha elide, kodwa ndandingazi ukuba bathetha ngantoni. Ndiyakuvuyela ukuthi abanye baba basebatsha benza inkqubela elwazini baza baqhubeka beshumayela de kwaba ngoku.

Amalungelo Nezabelo Ezininzi

Saqhubeka nomsebenzi wethu wobuvangeli basemazweni eKobe de kwaba ngowe-1952, xa sabelwa eTokyo, apho uLloyd wanikwa imbopheleleko yokongamela iofisi yesebe. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, isabelo somsebenzi wakhe samthumela eJapan nakwamanye amazwe. Kamva, kwelinye lamatyelelo akhe eTokyo, uNathan H. Knorr ovela kwikomkhulu wathi kum: “Kanene, ngaba uyazi apho aya khona umyeni wakho kutyelelo lwakhe olulandelayo lwecandelo? EOstreliya naseNew Zealand.” Waqhubeka esithi: “Nawe ungahamba, ukuba nje uza kuzihlawulela.” Hayi indlela endavuya ngayo! Ngapha koko, kwakusele kudlule iminyaka esithoba sahambayo ekhaya.

Ngokukhawuleza sabhalela iintsapho zethu iileta. Umama wandithengela itikiti. Mna noLloyd sasisoloko sixakekile kwizabelo zethu, yaye sasingenamali yakutyelela iintsapho zethu. Ngoko le yayiyindlela yokuphendulwa kwemithandazo yam. Njengoko unokuyithelekelela indlela awavuya ngayo uMama akundibona. Wathi, “Ndiza kubeka imali ukuze uze kwakhona emva kweminyaka emithathu.” Sahlukana sinoko ezingqondweni zethu, kodwa okubuhlungu kukuba, wafa ngoJulayi olandelayo. Hayi indlela endikhangele phambili ngayo ukumbona kwakhona kwihlabathi elitsha!

De kwaba ngowe-1960 ndandisenza umsebenzi wobuvangeli basemazweni kuphela, kodwa emva koko ndafumana incwadi ethi: “Isabelo sakho ukususela ngalo mhla siya kuba kukuhlamba nokuayina impahla yentsapho yonke yaseBheteli.” Ngelo xesha intsapho yethu yayiquka kuphela abantu abali-12, ngoko ndandikwazi ukwenza lo msebenzi ukongezelela kwisabelo sam sobuvangeli basemazweni.

Ngowe-1962 ikhaya lethu laseJapan ladilizwa, yaye kunyaka olandelayo kwagqitywa iKhaya laseBheteli elitsha elinemigangatho emithandathu. Ndabelwa ukuba ndincede, abazalwana baseBheteli abatsha nabaselula ukuba bagcine amagumbi abo ecocekile. Kwakulisiko eJapan ukuba amakhwenkwe angafundiswa ukwenza nantoni na ekhaya. Kwakugxininiswa kwimfundo yehlabathi, yaye oonina babewenzela yonke into. Kungekudala afunda ukuba mna andingonina. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, amaninzi enza inkqubela yaza intlangano yawanika izabelo ezitsha zembopheleleko.

Ngenye imini yehlobo eyayigqats’ ubhobhoyi, omnye umfundi weBhayibhile wayekhenketha kwizakhiwo zethu, waza wandibona ndicoca amagumbi okuhlambela. Wathi, “Nceda uxelele nabani na okuphetheyo ukuba ndingathanda ukuhlawula isicaka sokukwenzela lo msebenzi.” Ndamcacisela ukuba nangona ndiyixabisa indlela anenceba ngayo, ndandifuna ukwenza nantoni na endabelwe ukuba ndiyenze kwintlangano kaYehova.

Malunga neli xesha, mna noLloyd safumana isimemo sokuya kwiklasi yama-39 yaseGiliyadi! Elinjani ilungelo endalifumanayo ngowe-1964, xa ndandineminyaka engama-46 ubudala, lokuya kwesi sikolo kwakhona! Ezi zifundo zenzelwa ngokukhethekileyo ukunceda abo bakhonza kwiiofisi zesebe ukuba banyamekele iimbopheleleko zabo. Emva kokufunda iinyanga ezilishumi, sabelwa eJapan kwakhona. Ngeli thuba, sasinabavakalisi boBukumkani abangaphezu kwama-3 000 kwelo lizwe.

Ulwando lwaphawuleka ngokukhawuleza kangangokuba ngowe-1972 kwakukho amaNgqina angaphezu kwama-14,000, yaye kwakhiwa iofisi yesebe entsha enemigangatho emihlanu eNumazu, kwintshona yaseTokyo. Kwizakhiwo zethu, siyibona kakuhle iNtaba iFuji. Kwaqaliswa ukushicilelwa amaphephancwadi angaphezu kwesigidi ngenyanga ngolwimi lwesiJapan kumatshini omtsha omkhulu wokushicilela. Kodwa kungekudala iimeko zethu zaziza kutshintsha.

Ekupheleni kowe-1974, uLloyd wafumana ileta evela kwikomkhulu lamaNgqina kaYehova eBrooklyn eyayimmema ukuba akhonze kwiQumrhu Elilawulayo. Ekuqaleni ndacinga oku: ‘Kaloku, esi sisiphelo sobomi bethu sisobabini. Ekubeni uLloyd enethemba lasezulwini yaye mna ndinelasemhlabeni, kungekudala kuya kufuneka sahlukane. Mhlawumbi uLloyd ufanele aye eBrooklyn ngaphandle kwam.’ Kodwa kungekudala ndalungisa indlela endandicinga ngayo ndaza ndakulungela ukuhamba noLloyd ngoMatshi 1975.

Iintsikelelo Kwikomkhulu

Kwanaxa wayeseBrooklyn, uLloyd wayeyithanda intsimi yaseJapan, yaye wayesoloko ethetha ngamava esaba nawo apho. Kodwa ngoku kwakukho amathuba okuphangalala. Kwiminyaka engama-24 yokugqibela yobomi bakhe, uLloyd wasetyenziswa ngokubanzi kumsebenzi wecandelo, nto leyo eyayiquka ukuhambahamba ehlabathini lonke. Ndampheleka izihlandlo eziliqela xa wayehambahamba ehlabathini.

Ukutyelela abazalwana bethu abangamaKristu kwamanye amazwe kwandinceda ndaziqonda iimeko abaninzi abaphila nabasebenza phantsi kwazo. Andisokuze ndimlibale uEntellia oneminyaka elishumi ubudala, intombazana endadibana nayo kumntla Afrika. Wayelithanda igama likaThixo yaye wayehamba iyure enesiqingatha xa esiya kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu naxa ebuya. Phezu kwako nje ukutshutshiswa kwakhe yintsapho yakhe, uEntellia wahlulela ubomi bakhe kuYehova. Xa satyelela ibandla lakhe, kwakukho iglobhu enye nje kuphela nekhanya kancinane ukuze isithethi sibone amanqaku aso—ngapha koko, indawo ekwakudityanelwa kuyo yayimnyama thsu. Phezu kwabo nje obo bumnyama, kwakuchulumancisa ukuva abazalwana noodade becula kamnandi.

Eyona nto ibalaseleyo kubomi bethu yenzeka ngoDisemba 1998 xa mna noLloyd sasiphakathi kwabo babesiya kwiNdibano YeSithili ‘Yokuphila Ngendlela KaThixo’ eyayiseCuba. Hayi indlela esachukunyiswa ngayo ngumbulelo novuyo olwaboniswa ngabazalwana noodade ababelapho ngenxa yokuba betyelelwe ngabanye abakwikomkhulu laseBrooklyn! Kuyandichwayitisa kakhulu ukukhumbula abathandekayo abamdumisa ngenzondelelo uYehova.

Ukuziva Usekhaya Nabantu BakaThixo

Nangona ndazalelwa eOstreliya, ndabathanda abantu bayo nayiphi na indawo endandithunywa kuyo yintlangano kaYehova. Kwakunjalo naseJapan, yaye ngoku sele ndiseUnited States ngaphezu kweminyaka engama-25, ndifumanisa okufanayo nalapha. Xa ndafelwa ngumyeni wam, ndacinga ukuba, ndingabuyeli eOstreliya, kodwa ndihlale kwiBheteli yaseBrooklyn, apho uYehova andabele khona.

Ngoku ndikwiminyaka yama-80. Emva kweminyaka engama-61 ndikwinkonzo yexesha elizeleyo, ndisakuthanda ukukhonza uYehova naphi na apho athanda khona. Enyanisweni uye wandinyamekela kakuhle. Ndiyayixabisa iminyaka engaphezu kwama-57 endayichitha neqabane endilithandayo nelalithanda uYehova. Ndiyathemba ukuba uYehova uya kuhlala esisikelela, yaye ndiyazi ukuba akasoze awulibale umsebenzi wethu nothando esalubonisa ngegama lakhe.—Hebhere 6:10.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]

Ndikunye nomama ngowe-1956

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Ndikunye noLloyd neqela labavakalisi baseJapan ekuqaleni kweminyaka yee-1950

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 26]

Ndikunye nesifundo sam sokuqala seBhayibhile eJapan, uMiyo Takagi, ekuqaleni kweminyaka yee-1950 nangowe-1999

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 28]

Ndikunye noLloyd kumsebenzi wamaphephancwadi eJapan