Musa Ukushiyela Intliziyo Yomntwana Wakho Kumabona-ndenzile!

KWIZANDLA zombumbi weengqayi onobuchule, udongwe nje olungenamsebenzi lunokwenziwa lube sisitya esihle. Ambalwa amagcisa anokwenza into ebaluleke kangako ngento engenamsebenzi ngolo hlobo. Kangangeenkulungwane ezininzi, abantu bebexhomekeke kubenzi beengqayi ukuze bafumane iikomityi, iipleyiti, iimbiza, iingqayi zokugcina izinto nezokuhombisa.

Abazali nabo banokuba negalelo elikhulu kwibutho labantu ngokuxonkxa izimilo nobuntu babantwana babo. IBhayibhile ithelekisa ngamnye wethu nodongwe, yaye uThixo uye wabela abazali umsebenzi obalulekileyo wokuxonkxa ‘udongwe’ lwabantwana babo. (Yobhi 33:6; Genesis 18:19) Njengokwenza ingqayi entle, ukuguqula umntwana abe ngumntu omdala olungeleleneyo akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Loo nguqulelo ayizenzekeli nje.

Zininzi izinto ezibandakanyekileyo ekuxonkxeni iintliziyo zabantwana bethu. Ngelishwa, ezinye zazo ziyingozi. Ngoko ke, kunokuba ayekele intliziyo yomntwana kumabona-ndenzile, umzali olungileyo uya kumqeqesha umntwana ‘ngokwendlela yakhe,’ enentembelo yokuba ‘naxa emdala akasayi kuphambuka kuyo.’—IMizekeliso 22:6.

Ebudeni bomsebenzi othabatha ixesha elide nobalulekileyo wokukhulisa umntwana, abazali abangamaKristu baya kuchitha ixesha beshenxisa iimpembelelo ezimbi ezisongela intliziyo yomntwana wabo. Uthando lwabo luya kuvavanywa ngeyona ndlela njengoko ngomonde bedlulisela emntwaneni “ingqeqesho nemiyalo yobuKrestu.” (Efese 6:4, IBhayibhile yesiXhosa yowe-1996) Phofu ke, umsebenzi wabazali uya kuba lula gqitha ukuba baqalisa abantwana beselula.

Ukuqalisa Beselula

Abenzi beengqayi bayakuthanda ukusebenza ngodongwe oluthambe ngokwaneleyo ukuze babumbe into ethile kodwa oluqine ngokwaneleyo ukuze oko bakubumbileyo kuhlale kunjalo. Emva kokuluxova luthambe, bakhetha ukulusebenzisa zingekapheli iinyanga ezintandathu. Ngokufanayo, elona xesha lifanelekileyo ukuze abazali baxonkxe iintliziyo zabantwana babo kuxa zisavuma yaye zinokuxonkxeka ngokulula.

Iingcali ngabantwana zithi xa eneenyanga ezisibhozo ubudala, umntwana sele efunde ukuziqonda izandi zolwimi oluthethwayo ekhaya, sele akhe ubuhlobo obusenyongweni nabazali bakhe, wakha ubuchule obuthile, yaye sele eqalisile ukukwazi oko kumngqongileyo. Ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuqalisa ukuxonkxa intliziyo yakhe kuxa eselula. Hayi indlela okuya kumnceda ngayo umntwana wakho ukuba njengoTimoti, ‘unokuyazi kwasebusaneni imibhalo engcwele’!—2 Timoti 3:15.a

Ngokuqhelekileyo iintsana zilinganisa abazali bazo. Ngaphandle kokulinganisa izandi, indlela yokuthetha, nezimbo zomzimba, iintsana zifunda ngothando, ububele, nemfesane xa zibona abazali bazo bebonakalisa ezi mpawu. Ukuba sifuna ukuqeqesha umntwana wethu ngokwemithetho kaYehova, okokuqala imiyalelo kaThixo imele ibe sezintliziyweni zethu. Ukuba noxabiso olunyanisekileyo ngayo kuya kwenza abazali bathethe nabantwana babo rhoqo ngoYehova nangeLizwi lakhe. IBhayibhile isibongoza ukuba ‘sithethe ngayo ekuhlaleni kwethu endlwini yethu, nasekuhambeni kwethu ngendlela, nasekulaleni kwethu, nasekuvukeni kwethu.’ (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) UFrancisco noRosa bachaza indlela abakwenza ngayo oku kubantwana babo ababini abaselula.b

“Ngaphandle kokuncokola nje imihla ngemihla, sizama ukuthetha nomntwana ngamnye eyedwa ubuncinane imizuzu eli-15 suku ngalunye. Xa sicinga ukuba kukho ingxaki, sichitha ixesha elingakumbi—yaye ngokwenene siyazibona ezo ngxaki. Ngokomzekelo, unyana wethu oneminyaka emihlanu ubudala kutshanje ubuye ekhaya evela esikolweni esixelela ukuba akakholelwa kuYehova. Kuyabonakala ukuba, omnye wabantwana afunda nabo uye wahlekisa ngaye waza wamxelela ukuba uThixo akakho.”

Aba bazali baqonda ukuba abantwana bafanele babe nokholo kuMdali wabo. Ukholo olunjalo lunokwakhiwa ngothando olungokwemvelo lwezinto uThixo azidalileyo. Abantwana bakuthanda gqitha ukuphatha isilwanyana, ukukha iintyatyambo zasendle okanye ukudlala kwintlabathi eselunxwemeni lolwandle! Abazali banokubanceda ukuze babone indlela indalo enxulumene ngayo noMdali. (INdumiso 100:3; 104:24, 25) Uloyiko nentlonelo abanayo ngendalo kaYehova banokuhlala benalo ubomi babo bonke. (INdumiso 111:2, 10) Enoxabiso olunjalo, umntwana unokuhlakulela umnqweno wokukholisa uThixo nokoyika ukungamkholisi. Oku kuya kumenza ‘emke ebubini.’—IMizekeliso 16:6.

Nangona inkoliso yabantwana abaselula benomdla yaye befunda msinya, kusenokungabi lula ukufunda ukuthobela. (INdumiso 51:5) Maxa wambi, basenokuba neenkani befuna ukuzenza izinto ngendlela yabo okanye bafune ukufumana loo nto bayithandayo. Abazali bafanele bangayekeleli, babe nomonde yaye babaqeqeshele ukuba esi simo sengqondo singendeli kubo. (Efese 6:4) Oku kwaba njalo ngoPhyllis noPaul, abaye baphumelela ekukhuliseni abantwana babo abahlanu.

UPhyllis uthi: “Nangona mntwana ngamnye wayenobuntu obahlukileyo, ngamnye wayefuna ukuzenza izinto ngendlela yakhe. Kwakungelula, kodwa ekugqibeleni bafunda intsingiselo yegama elithi ‘hayi.’” Umyeni wakhe, uPaul uthi: “Xa bebadala ngokwaneleyo ukuba bakuqonde oko, sasidla ngokubaxelela izizathu zokuba senze izigqibo ezithile. Nangona sasizama ukuba nobubele ngamaxesha onke, sabafundisa ukuba balihlonele igunya lethu esilinikwe nguThixo.”

Nangona iminyaka yobutsha isenokumzisela iingxaki umntwana, inkoliso yabazali ifumanisa ukuba elona xesha linzima lelaxa bekwiminyaka yabo yeshumi elivisayo xa loo ntliziyo yabo ingaqolanga ijamelana neemvavanyo ezininzi ezintsha.

Ukufikelela Intliziyo Yomntwana Okwishumi Elivisayo

Umenzi weengqayi umele enze umsebenzi wakhe ngaphambi kokuba udongwe lome. Ukuze aziphe ixesha elaneleyo, usenokulugalela amanzi ukuze udongwe luhlale lufumile yaye luthambile. Ngokufanayo, abazali bamele bazibhokoxe ukuze bathintele intliziyo yomntwana wabo okwishumi elivisayo ingabi lukhuni. Kakade ke, esona sixhobo sabo siyintloko yiBhayibhile, abanokuyisebenzisa ‘ekohlwayeni, ekulungelelaniseni izinto, nasekuxhobiseleni umntwana ngokupheleleyo wonke umsebenzi olungileyo.’—2 Timoti 3:15-17.

Noko ke, umntwana okwishumi elivisayo usenokungalamkeli ngokulula icebiso labazali njengoko kwakunjalo ngoxa wayeselula. Abantwana abakwishumi elivisayo basenokuqalisa ukunikela ingqalelo engakumbi koontanga babo, ngoko ke basenokungancokoli ngokukhululekileyo nabazali babo. Eli lixesha lokuba nomonde nobuchule obungakumbi, njengoko indima yabazali nabantwana itshintsha. Umntwana okwishumi elivisayo ufanele aqhelane neenguqulelo zomzimba nezingokweemvakalelo. Ufanele aqalise ukuzenzela izigqibo nosukelo olunokuchaphazela ubomi bakhe bonke. (2 Timoti 2:22) Ebudeni beli xesha linzima, umele ajamelane nempembelelo enokuba yingozi kwintliziyo yakhe—ingcinezelo yoontanga.

Loo ngcinezelo ayidli ngokuza ngendlela eqondakala lula. Kunoko, ngokuqhelekileyo ibonakala ngamazwi nangezenzo ezibonisa ukungaqiniseki ngento ebeyikholelwa ngaphambili. Kwabaninzi oku kubahlasela apho babuthathaka khona—uloyiko olunzulu lokungamkelwa lolunye ulutsha. Ezama ukuzazi yaye efuna ukwamkelwa, oselula usenokuqalisa ukwamkela ‘izinto ezisehlabathini’ ezikhuthazwa lolunye ulutsha.—1 Yohane 2:15-17; Roma 12:2.

Eyona nto enokwenza izinto zibe mbi kakhulu, kukuba umnqweno wokwemvelo wentliziyo engafezekanga usenokubethelela oku kuthethwa ngoontanga bakhe. Amazwi anjengokuthi “Yonwaba” nathi “Yenza into oyithandayo” asenokubangela umdla. UMaría uchaza oko kwenzeka kuye esithi: “Ndandiphulaphula abanye abaselula ababekholelwa ukuba abantu abasebatsha banelungelo lokuzonwabisa ngokupheleleyo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba imiphumo injani. Ekubeni ndandifuna ukwenza oko abahlobo bam basesikolweni babekwenza, ndaphantse ndangena engxakini enzulu.” Njengomzali, ufuna ukumnceda umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo ukuba alwe naloo ngcinezelo, kodwa unokukwenza njani oku?

Ngamazwi nangezenzo zakho, mqinisekise ukuba umkhathalele. Yenza umgudu wokwazi ukuba uvakalelwa njani ngezinto uze uzame ukuqonda iingxaki zakhe, ekusenokuba zinzima ngakumbi kuneengxaki wena owajamelana nazo esikolweni. Ngoku umntwana wakho ufanele akujonge njengomntu anokuphalaza kuye imbilini yakhe. (IMizekeliso 20:5) Usenokuphawula ukuba ukhathazekile okanye udidekile ngokuphawula nje izimbo okanye ukungatyhileki kwakhe. Mncede kwiingxaki zakhe angazithethiyo, uze ‘uthuthuzele intliziyo yakhe.’—Kolose 2:2.

Kakade ke, kubalulekile ukuba ubambelele ngokuthe nkqi koko kulungileyo. Abazali abaninzi baye bafumanisa ukuba ngamanye amaxesha abavisisani nabantwana babo, kodwa abayekeleli xa beqinisekile ukuba benza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo. Kwelinye icala, qiniseka ukuba uyayiqonda imeko ngokucacileyo ngaphambi kokuba ugqibe enoba ufanele unikele isiluleko sothando nangendlela onokusinikela ngayo xa sifuneka.—IMizekeliso 18:13.

Kwanasebandleni

Isitya sodongwe sisenokubonakala sigqityiwe, kodwa ukuba asikafakwa eontini, sisenokonakaliswa zizinto esenzelwe ukuzithwala. IBhayibhile ithelekisa iimvavanyo neengxaki nokufakwa eontini, ekubeni zibonisa uhlobo lwabantu esingabo ngokwenene. Kakade ke, iBhayibhile ithetha ngokukhethekileyo ngeemvavanyo zokholo lwethu, kodwa ngendlela ebanzi, le ngongoma ikwasebenza nakwezinye iimvavanyo. (Yakobi 1:2-4) Okumangalisayo kukuba, ezinye iimvavanyo eziqatha abaselula abajamelana nazo zisenokuvela kanye ebandleni.

Nangona umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo usenokubonakala ephilile ngokomoya, ngaphakathi usenokuba ulwa nentliziyo embaxa. (1 Kumkani 18:21) Ngokomzekelo, uMegan wayejamelene neengcamango zehlabathi ezazivela kolunye ulutsha olwalusiza kwiHolo yoBukumkani:

“Ndaphenjelelwa liqela lolutsha olwalubona ubuKristu njengento ekruqulayo nelubandeza ulonwabo. Babedla ngokuthi: ‘Xa ndineminyaka eli-18 ubudala, ndiza kuyishiya inyaniso,’ okanye bathi ‘Ingathi andisaphumi.’ Babengafuni ukunxulumana nolunye ulutsha olwalungavumelani nabo, belubiza ngokuba ngoongcwele ngcwele.”

Igwele elincinane libilisa intlama iphela. Abantu abakwiqela elithile badla ngokuhamba nomndilili. Ubuyatha nokuba lidela-ngozi kusenokubangela ubani enze izinto zobuyatha nezibonisa ukungabi nasimilo. Kumazwe amaninzi, okulusizi kukuba ulutsha olungamaKristu luye lwangena engxakini ngokulandela umndilili.

Kakade ke, abantu abakwishumi elivisayo bafuna umlinganiselo othile wonxulumano ukuze bonwabe. Yintoni onokuyenza njengomzali ukuze balufumane unxulumano olunjalo? Cingisisa nzulu ngendlela yabo yokuzonwabisa, yaye ceba izinto ezibangel’ umdla njengentsapho okanye nolunye ulutsha nabantu abadala. Bazi abahlobo bomntwana wakho. Bamemele kwisidlo, okanye uchithe ixesha nabo. (Roma 12:13) Khuthaza umntwana wakho enze izinto ezakhayo, njengokufunda ukudlala isixhobo somculo okanye olunye ulwimi okanye ubugcisa obuthile. Ubukhulu becala, oku usenokukwenza ekhaya ekhuselekile.

Ukufunda Kusenokumlondoloza

Ukufunda komntwana okwishumi elivisayo kunokumnceda ukuze agcine ukuzonwabisa kwindawo efanelekileyo. ULoli, inqununu yesikolo esikhulu kangangeminyaka engama-20, uthi: “Kwisikolo sam kuye kwafunda amaNgqina amaninzi aselula. Amaninzi ayeziphatha ngendlela encomekayo, kodwa amanye ayengumgubo wengxow’ enye nabanye abantwana. Lawo ayeyimizekelo emihle ngokuqhelekileyo yayingalawo ayenomdla kwizifundo zawo. Ndibakhuthaza ngamandla abazali ukuba babe nomdla kwindlela abantwana babo abaqhuba ngayo kwizifundo zabo, babazi abafundisi-ntsapho babo, baze babaqinisekise abantwana babo ukuba kubalulekile ukuba nengxelo entle. Abanye baya kuphuma emagqabini, kodwa bonke basenokuphumelela nje kakuhle baze bahlonelwe ngabafundisi-ntsapho babo.”

Kwakhona ukufunda okunjalo kunokunceda abantwana abakwishumi elivisayo benze inkqubela ngokomoya. Kunokubafundisa imikhwa emihle yokufunda, kubaqeqeshe engqondweni baze babe ngabantu abaqolileyo. Alithandabuzeki elokuba ukukwazi kwabo ukufunda kakuhle nokuziqonda izinto kunokubakhuthaza babe ngabafundi nabafundisi beLizwi likaThixo ababhetele. (Nehemiya 8:8) Ukwenza umsebenzi wesikolo nokufundisisa izinto zokomoya kunokubanceda babeke ukuzonwabisa kwindawo efanelekileyo.

Ukuzukisa Nina Bazali NoYehova

KwiGrisi yamandulo iingqayi ezininzi zazibhalwa igama lomenzi wazo nalowo uzihombisileyo. Ngokufanayo, ngokuqhelekileyo entsatsheni kukho abantu ababini abancedisanayo ekuxonkxeni abantwana. Bobabini utata nomama bayancedisana ekuxonkxeni intliziyo yomntwana, yaye ngokufuziselayo umntwana wakho “unamagama” enu nobabini. Njengomenzi weengqayi ophumelelayo, okanye umhombisi wazo, usenokuba neqhayiya ngomsebenzi owenzileyo wokuxonkxa umntu oselula ukuze axabiseke aze abe mhle.—IMizekeliso 23:24, 25.

Impumelelo yalo msebenzi mkhulu ubukhulu becala uya kuxhomekeka kwindlela oyixonkxe ngayo intliziyo yomntwana wakho. Sinethemba lokuba, uya kukwazi ukuthi: “Umthetho kaThixo wakhe usentliziyweni yakhe; amanyathelo akhe akayi kuhexa.” (INdumiso 37:31) Imeko yentliziyo yomntwana ibaluleke kakhulu ukuba ungayishiyela kumabona-ndenzile.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]