Umtshato Usenokuphumelela Kwihlabathi Lanamhlanje

“Yambathani uthando, kuba lungumxokelelwane ogqibeleleyo womanyano.”—KOLOSE 3:14.

1, 2. (a) Yintoni ekhuthazayo kwibandla lamaKristu? (b) Unjani umtshato ophumelelayo?

XA SIKHANGELA kwibandla lamaKristu, ngaba akuvuyisi kusini na ukubona izibini ezininzi kangaka ezitshatileyo eziye zanyaniseka kumaqabane azo kangangeminyaka eli-10, engama-20, engama-30, okanye nangaphezulu? Aba bantu baye banyaniseka kumaqabane abo nasebunzimeni.—Genesis 2:24.

² Inkoliso iya kuvuma ukuba izinto khange zibe lula emtshatweni wazo. Omnye wathi: “Akuthethi kuthi imitshato ephumelelayo ayinazinkathazo. Kubakho amaxesha amnandi nanzima . . . Sekunjalo . . . aba bantu baye bahlala namaqabane abo phezu kwazo nje [iingxaki] zobomi bale mihla.” Izibini eziphumelelayo ziye zafunda ukujamelana neengxaki neenzima ezibangelwa ziingcinezelo zobomi, ingakumbi ukuba ziye zakhulisa abantwana. Oko kuye kwafundisa izibini ezinjalo ukuba uthando lokwenyaniso “aluze lutshitshe.”—1 Korinte 13:8.

3. Amanani abonisa ntoni ngomtshato nokuqhawula umtshato, nto leyo ekhokelela kwiyiphi imibuzo?

³ Noko ke, imitshato emininzi iye yaqhekeka. Kuthiwa: “Isiqingatha sayo yonke imitshato yaseUnited States namhlanje ilindeleke ukuba iqhawuke. Yaye isiqingatha sayo yonke loo mitshato, iza [kuqhawuka] phakathi kweminyaka yayo yokuqala esisi-7, 8 abo bantu betshatile . . . Phakathi kwabantu abangama-75 ekhulwini abaza kuphinda batshate, abangama-60 ekhulwini baza kuphinda baqhawule umtshato.” Kwanakumazwe ngaphambili ebenemitshato embalwa eqhawukayo izinto ziye zaguquka. Ngokomzekelo, eJapan phantse aye aphindaphindeka kabini amanani abantu abaye baqhawula umtshato kule minyaka yamvanje. Ziziphi ezinye zeengxaki eziye zakhokelela kule meko, iingxaki maxa wambi ezibakho nakwibandla lamaKristu? Yintoni efunekayo ukuze umtshato uphumelele phezu kwayo nje imigudu kaSathana yokusingela phantsi elo lungiselelo?

Iingxaki Ezifanele Ziphetshwe

4. Ziziphi ezinye zezinto ezinokuba yingxaki emtshatweni?

⁴ ILizwi likaThixo lisinceda siqonde izinto ezisenokuba yingxaki emtshatweni. Ngokomzekelo, khawucinge ngamazwi ompostile uPawulos ngeemeko ezaziya kubakho ngemihla yokugqibela. Wathi: “Ngemihla yokugqibela kuya kufika amaxesha amanqam ekunzima ukujamelana nawo. Kuba abantu baya kuba ngabazithandayo, abathandi bemali, abazidlayo, abanekratshi, abanyelisi, abangathobeli bazali, abangenambulelo, abanganyanisekanga, abangenawo umsa wemvelo, abangayifuni kwaphela imvisiswano, abanyelisi, abangenakuzeyisa, iindlobongela, abangathandi kulunga, abangcatshi, abaneentloko ezilukhuni, abakhukhumele likratshi, abathandi beziyolo kunokuba bathande uThixo, benembonakalo yozinikelo lobuthixo kodwa bengaphili ngokuvisisana nalo; ngoko ke zikhwebule kwabanjalo.”—2 Timoti 3:1-5.

5. Kutheni umntu ‘ozithandayo’ ephelisa umtshato wakhe, yaye isiluleko seBhayibhile sithini ngaloo mbandela?

⁵ Xa siwaqwalasela nzulu amazwi kaPawulos, sibona ukuba izinto ezininzi awazibhalayo zisenokubangela iingxaki emtshatweni. Ngokomzekelo, abo “bazithandayo” bayazingca yaye abanalwazelelelo ngabanye. Amadoda okanye abafazi abathanda kuphela iziqu zabo basoloko befuna ukuba izinto zenziwe ngendlela yabo. Bangoozwilakhe, oontamo-lukhuni. Ngaba umntu onjalo unokuwenza umtshato wonwabise? Unotshe! Ngobulumko umpostile uPawulos waluleka amaKristu, kuquka abo batshatileyo esithi: “Ningenzi nanye into ngokusukuzana okanye ngokuzigwagwisa, kodwa ngokuthobeka kwengqondo, nibagqala abanye njengabongamileyo kunani, ninyamekela, kungekuphela nje izilangazelelo zobuqu, kodwa kwanezilangazelelo zabanye.”—Filipi 2:3, 4.

6. Ukuthanda imali kusenokulonakalisa njani ulwalamano lomtshato?

⁶ Nokuthand’ imali kusenokubangela urhutharhuthwano phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. UPawulos walumkisa esithi: “Abo bazimisele ukuba zizityebi beyela ekuhendweni nasemgibeni, nakwiminqweno emininzi engekho ngqiqweni neyenzakalisayo, ekhokelela entshabalalweni nasekonakaleni. Kuba ukuthanda imali yingcambu yazo zonke iintlobo zobubi, yaye ngenxa yokusukelana nolo thando bambi baye balahlekana nokholo, bezingxwelerha ngeentlungu ezininzi.” (1 Timoti 6:9, 10) Okulusizi kukuba, oku uPawulos alumkisa ngako kuye kwenzeka kwimitshato emininzi namhlanje. Ngenxa yokufuna ubutyebi, abantu abaninzi abatshatileyo baye bazityeshela iimfuno zamaqabane abo, kuquka nezo zisisiseko zokuxhasana ngokweemvakalelo nolwalamano oluhle ngamaxesha onke.

7. Kwezinye iimeko, yintoni eye yakhokelela abantu bangathembeki emtshatweni?

⁷ Kwakhona uPawulos wathi abathile kule mihla yokugqibela baya kuba ‘ngabanganyanisekanga, abangenawo umsa wemvelo, abangayifuni kwaphela imvisiswano.’ Isifungo somtshato sisithembiso esibekekileyo esifanele sibangele umtshato ube lumanyano olungapheliyo, yaye singaphulwa. (Malaki 2:14-16) Noko ke, abathile baye babonakalisa uthando kwabanye abantu abangengawo amaqabane abo omtshato. Omnye umfazi okwiminyaka yakhe yama-30 ubudala owashiywa ngumyeni ucacisa ukuba nangaphambi kokuba amshiye, wayekhululeka gqitha kwamanye amabhinqa, ebonakalisa uthando kuwo. Wayengayazi into engafanele yenziwe yindoda etshatileyo. Lo mfazi wayekhathazeke gqitha xa wakubona oku kusenzeka yaye ngobuchule wazama ukuyilumkisa le ndoda ngeengozi ezinokubangelwa koku. Sekunjalo, yakrexeza. Nangona yalunyukiswa ngobubele, le ndoda ayizange iphulaphule. Yabanjiswa ngulo mgibe.—IMizekeliso 6:27-29.

8. Yintoni enokubangela ubani akrexeze?

⁸ IBhayibhile ilumkisa ngokucacileyo ngokukrexeza! “Nabani na okrexeza nomfazi uswele intliziyo; owenza oko wonakalisa umphefumlo wakhe.” (IMizekeliso 6:32) Ngokuqhelekileyo, ubani akasuki nje akrexeze ngephanyazo, engacinganga. Njengokuba umbhali weBhayibhile uYakobi watsho, ngokuqhelekileyo ubani uwela kwisono sokukrexeza emva kokuba eye wacingisisa nzulu ngaloo nto. (Yakobi 1:14, 15) Iqabane elikrexezayo ngokuthe ngcembe liyayeka ukuthembeka kulowo lalifunge ukuba liya kuthembeka kuye de liye kufa. UYesu wathi: “Nivile ukuba kwathiwa, ‘Uze ungakrexezi.’ Kodwa mna ndithi kuni wonk’ ubani oqhubeka ekhangela umfazi ngokokude amkhanuke sele emkrexezile entliziyweni yakhe.”—Mateyu 5:27, 28.

9. Sisiphi isiluleko sobulumko esifumaneka kwiMizekeliso 5:18-20?

⁹ Ngoko ke, ikhondo lobulumko nelokuthembeka lelo likhuthazwa kwincwadi yeMizekeliso: “Mawusikelelwe umthombo wakho wamanzi, ube nemihlali ngumfazi wobutsha bakho, ixhamakazi elithandekayo nebhokhwe yasezintabeni enomtsalane. Amabele akhe makakuyobe ngamaxesha onke. Uthabatheke rhoqo luthando lwakhe. Ngoko, kutheni na, nyana wam, ufanele uthabatheke ngumfazi wasemzini okanye uwole isifuba somfazi wasemzini?”—IMizekeliso 5:18-20.

Musa Ukukhawuleza Utshate

10. Kutheni kububulumko ukuzipha ixesha lokumazi kakuhle lowo uza kutshata naye?

¹⁰ Kunokubakho iingxaki xa abantu ababini bekhawuleze batshata. Basenokuba baselula gqitha yaye abanamava. Okanye abaziphi ixesha lokwazana kakuhle—izinto abazithandayo nabangazithandiyo, iinjongo zabo ebomini nemvelaphi yeentsapho zabo. Kububulumko ukuba nomonde, uziphe ixesha lokumazi lowo uza kutshata naye. Khawucinge ngoYakobi, unyana kaIsake. Kwafuneka asebenzele lowo wayeza kuba ngumkhwe wakhe iminyaka esixhenxe ngaphambi kokuba avunyelwe ukuba utshate noRakeli. Wayekulungele ukwenjenjalo ngenxa yokuba wayenothando lokwenene, engatsalwanga nje yinkangeleko.—Genesis 29:20-30.

11. (a) Umtshato uhlanganisa abantu abanjani? (b) Kutheni kubalulekile ukulusebenzisa ngobulumko ulwimi emtshatweni?

¹¹ Umtshato asingomtsalane nje ongokwesini oba nawo ngomntu othile. Umtshato uhlanganisa abantu ababini abakhuliswe ngeendlela ezingafaniyo nabanobuntu obahlukileyo, abavakalelwa ngezinto ngendlela engafaniyo yaye kumaxesha amaninzi abakumgangatho wemfundo ongafaniyo. Maxa wambi kukuhlanganisa abantu bezizwe ezibini nabathetha iilwimi ezingafaniyo. Enoba akunjalo, umtshato umanyanisa abantu abakwaziyo ukuvakalisa izimvo ezingafaniyo kuyo yonke into. Umtshato umanyanisa kanye aba bantu babini banezimvo ezahlukileyo. Basenokusoloko begxekana yaye bakhalazelane, okanye basenokukhuthazana baze bakhane. Ewe, ngamazwi ethu sisenokulenzakalisa okanye silakhe iqabane lethu. Ukungakwazi ukululawula ulwimi lwethu kusenokuwonakalisa ngamandla umtshato.—IMizekeliso 12:18; 15:1, 2; 16:24; 21:9; 31:26.

12, 13. Yiyiphi imbono esengqiqweni ekhuthazwayo ngomtshato?

¹² Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuzipha ixesha lokumazi kakuhle lowo uza kutshata naye. Udade ongumKristu onamava ngomtshato wakha wathi: “Xa ucinga ngomntu oza kumtshata, cinga ngeempawu ezilishumi ezisisiseko ofuna loo mntu abe nazo. Ukuba ufumana ezisixhenxe kuphela, zibuze, ‘Ngaba ndikulungele ukumtshata nokuba ezi zintathu akanazo? Ngaba ndiya kukwazi ukumnyamezela imihla ngemihla xa engenazo ezo mpawu?’ Ukuba uyathandabuza, mus’ ukungxama, khawuphinde ucingisise.” Phofu ke, ufanele usebenzise ingqiqo. Ukuba ufuna ukutshata, yazi ukuba akusayi kumfumana ndawo umntu ofezekileyo. Kaloku, naloo mntu ekugqibeleni oza kutshata naye, akayi kube efumene umntu ogqibeleleyo!—Luka 6:41.

¹³ Umtshato uthetha ukuzincama. UPawulos wakugxininisa oku xa wathi: “Eneneni, ndifuna ukuba nikhululeke exhaleni. Indoda engatshatanga ixhalela izinto zeNkosi, indlela enokuzuza ngayo inkoliseko yeNkosi. Kodwa indoda etshatileyo ixhalela izinto zehlabathi, indlela enokuzuza ngayo inkoliseko yomfazi wayo, yaye yahlulelene. Ngokubhekele phaya, ibhinqa elingatshatanga, eliyintombi enyulu, lixhalela izinto zeNkosi, ukuze libe ngcwele emzimbeni walo nasemoyeni walo. Noko ke, umfazi otshatileyo uxhalela izinto zehlabathi, indlela anokuzuza ngayo inkoliseko yendoda yakhe.”—1 Korinte 7:32-34.

Isizathu Sokuba Eminye Imitshato Iqhawuke

14, 15. Ziintoni ezinokubangela ubuthathaka kwiqhina lomtshato?

¹⁴ Omnye umfazi ongumKristu uye wajamelana nentlungu yokuqhawuka komtshato wakhe xa washiywa yindoda emva kokuba betshate iminyaka eli-12 yaza yaqalisa ukuthandana nelinye ibhinqa. Ngaba zazikho izinto ezibonisa ukuba kuza kubakho ingxaki ngaphambi kokuba le ntlekele yenzeke? Uyacacisa: “Umyeni wam wayengasathandazi. Wayengasayi ezintlanganisweni zamaKristu nasentsimini ngenxa yezizathu nje ezingavakaliyo. Wayedla ngokuthi uxakeke okanye udinwe gqitha ukuba singachitha ixesha sobabini. Sasingasancokoli. Sasingasathethi nangezinto zokomoya. Imeko yayimbi ngokwenene. Wayengasenguye laa myeni wam ndimaziyo.”

¹⁵ Abanye bachaza ukuba babona iimpawu ezifanayo kuquka ukungabi naso isifundo seBhayibhile sobuqu, ukungathandazi okanye ukungayi ezintlanganisweni zamaKristu. Ngamanye amazwi, abantu abaninzi abashiya amaqabane abo baye bavumela ukuba ulwalamano lwabo noYehova lube buthathaka. Ngenxa yoko, abasanikeli ngqalelo kwizinto zokomoya. Babengasamgqali uYehova njengoThixo ophilayo. Isithembiso sehlabathi elitsha sasiyintsomi nje. Kwezinye iimeko, iqabane elingathembekanga laba buthathaka ngokomoya nangaphambi kokuba liqalise ukuthandana nothile ngaphandle komtshato.—Hebhere 10:38, 39; 11:6; 2 Petros 3:13, 14.

16. Yintoni eqinisa umtshato?

¹⁶ Kanti abanye abantu abonwabileyo emtshatweni bathi oku kubangelwe kukomelela kwabo ngokomoya. Bathandaza baze bafunde kunye. Umyeni uthi: “Sifunda kunye iBhayibhile. Siya kunye entsimini. Siyakuvuyela ukwenza izinto kunye.” Into esiyifundayo icacile: Ukuba nolwalamano oluhle noYehova kuya kufak’ isandla gqitha ekomeleleni komtshato.

Sebenzisani Ingqiqo Nize Nincokole

17. (a) Ziziphi izinto ezimbini ezifak’ isandla kumtshato ophumelelayo? (b) UPawulos uluchaza njani uthando lobuKristu?

¹⁷ Kukho nezinye izinto ezimbini ezifak’ isandla kumtshato ophumelelayo: uthando lobuKristu nokuncokolisana. Xa abantu ababini bethandana, omnye usenokutyekela ekubeni azityeshele iimpazamo zomnye. Aba bantu basenokutshata belindele lukhulu gqitha emtshatweni, mhlawumbi ngenxa yoko bakufunde kwiincwadi zothando okanye koko bakubone kwiifilimu. Noko ke, ekugqibeleni, aba bantu bafanele bajamelane nezinto njengokuba zinjalo. Zandule ke iimpazamo ezincinane okanye imikhwa engemibi kangako ibe ziingxaki ezinkulu. Ukuba kwenzeka loo nto, amaKristu afanele abonakalise isiqhamo somoya, esiluthando. (Galati 5:22, 23) Ngokwenene uthando lunamandla—ingelulo uthando oluhambisana nomtsalane kodwa uthando lobuKristu. UPawulos waluchaza olo thando lobuKristu esithi: “Uthando luzeka kade umsindo yaye lunobubele. . . . Alufuni ezalo izilangazelelo, alucaphuki. Alunanzondo. . . . Luthwala izinto zonke, lukholelwa izinto zonke, luthemba izinto zonke, lunyamezela izinto zonke.” (1 Korinte 13:4-7) Ngokucacileyo, uthando lokwenene luyabunyamezela ubuthathaka esinabo sonke singabantu. Alulindeli imfezeko.—IMizekeliso 10:12.

18. Ukuncokolisana kunokuwomeleza njani umtshato?

¹⁸ Kubalulekile nokuncokolisana. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba abantu banexesha elide kangakanani na betshatile, bafanele bancokolisane yaye omnye aphulaphule ngokwenene xa omnye ethetha. Enye indoda ithi: “Sithetha phandle kodwa ngendlela yobuhlobo.” Njengokuba ixesha lihamba, indoda okanye umfazi ufunda ukuphulaphula kungekuphela nje into ethethiweyo kodwa naleyo ingathethwanga. Ngamanye amazwi, njengokuba iminyaka iqengqeleka, abantu abonwabileyo emtshatweni bafunda nokuqonda iingcamango ezingathethwanga okanye iimvakalelo ezingavakaliswanga. Bambi abafazi bathi amadoda abo akabaphulaphuli. Nawo amadoda akhalaza esithi abafazi bafun’ ukuncokola ngawona maxesha mabi. Ukuncokolisana kuquka ulwazelelelo nokuqonda. Ukuncokolisana okuhle kuyinzuzo endodeni nasemfazini.—Yakobi 1:19.

19. (a) Kutheni kusenokuba nzima ukucel’ uxolo? (b) Yintoni eya kusikhuthaza ukuba sicel’ uxolo?

¹⁹ Maxa wambi ukuncokolisana kuquka nokucela uxolo. Le asinto esoloko ilula. Ngabantu abathobekileyo abazivumayo iimpazamo zabo. Kodwa, hayi indlela oko okuwuqinisa ngayo umtshato! Ukucela uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo kusenokuphelisa ingxabano enokubakho kwixesha elizayo kuze kubangele ubani axolelwe ngokwenene nto leyo ephelisa ingxaki. UPawulos wathi: “Qhubekani ninyamezelana yaye nixolelana ngesisa ukuba nabani na unesizathu sokukhalazela omnye. Kanye njengoko uYehova wanixolela ngesisa, yenzani njalo nani. Ke, phezu kwazo zonke ezi zinto, yambathani uthando, kuba lungumxokelelwane ogqibeleleyo womanyano.”—Kolose 3:13, 14.

20. UmKristu ufanele aliphatha njani iqabane lakhe lomtshato xa bebobabini naphakathi kwabantu?

²⁰ Enye into ebalulekileyo emtshatweni kukusebenzisana. Umfazi nendoda abangamaKristu bafanele bathembane, omnye athembele komnye. Akakho ofanele amjongele phantsi omnye okanye ngandlel’ ithile athobe isidima somnye. Siwancoma ngothando amaqabane ethu omtshato; asiwagxeki kakubi. (IMizekeliso 31:28b) Ngokuqinisekileyo asibenzi iintloni ngokuqhula ngabo. (Kolose 4:6) Ukusoloko sivakalisa amazwi othando kwenza ukuba abo bantu basebenzisane ngakumbi. Ukubambana kusenokuxelela omnye ukuba: “Ndisakuthanda. Ndivuya gqitha ukuba kunye nawe.” Ezi zezinye zezinto ezisenokuba luncedo emtshatweni zize ziwenze uphumelele kwihlabathi lanamhlanje. Zikho nezinye izinto, yaye inqaku elilandelayo liza kunikela ulwalathiso olungakumbi lweZibhalo ngendlela yokwenza umtshato uphumelele.a

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

Ngaba Unokucacisa?

• Ziintoni ezisenokubangela iingxaki emtshatweni?

• Kutheni kungebobulumko ukukhawuleza utshate?

• Indlela esizijonga ngayo izinto ezingokomoya iwuchaphazela njani umtshato?

• Ziintoni eziwomelezayo umtshato?

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 12]

Umtshato asingomtsalane nje ongokwesini

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 14]

Ukuba nolwalamano oluqinileyo noYehova kunceda abantu abatshatileyo ukuba bawenze uphumelele umtshato wabo