Ukunceda Umntwana Wakho Anyamezele Intlungu

KWIVENKILE ethengisa iincwadi enabantu abaninzi ibhinqa liye kumntu othengiselayo lithi: “Ivenkile yenu ineencwadi ezininzi kodwa ayikho enokunceda umntwana wam!” Eli bhinqa lifuna ukhokelo oluza kunceda unyana walo anyamezele ukufa ngequbuliso kwelungu lentsapho.

Siyavakala isizathu sokuba eli bhinqa lixhalabe kangaka. Kuba buhlungu gqitha ngomntwana omncinane ukuyamkela into yokuba ilungu elithile lentsapho limnabel’ uqaqaqa. Abantwana bakhula kakuhle xa benyanyekelwa ziintsapho zabo kodwa ukufa kusenokubahlukanisa nomntu ebebemthanda nabebenobuhlobo obusenyongweni naye. Njengomzali unokumnceda njani umntwana wakho xa ilungu lentsapho lisekhukweni lokufa okanye lisandul’ ukufa.

Kakade ke, xa ufelwe usenokuba uwa uvuka uzama ukunyamezela intlungu yaye uxakekile. Noko ke, musa ukulibala ukuba umntwana wakho uyafuna ukuxhaswa nguwe. Incwadi esasazwa ngamakhaya agcina izigulana ezisecicini lokufa eMinnesota, eUnited States ithi: “Abantwana beva abantu bethetha yaye baye bangayazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni okanye bacingele nje ukuba ikhon’ into engahambi kakuhle.” Yalek’ umsundulu ithi: “Abantwana bafanele bachazelwe ukuba kwenzeka ntoni.” Kusenokuba kuhle ukubachazela ngokwendlela abaza kuyiqonda. Akulula ukwenjenjalo, ekubeni kuxhomekeka kumntwana ngamnye enoba uza kuyiqonda kusini ukuba kwenzeka ntoni.—1 Korinte 13:11.

Indlela Onokukuchaza Ngayo Ukufa

Abanye abaphandi bathi xa bethetha nomntwana ngokufa abazali bafanele bangawasebenzisi amabinzana anjengelithi “ulele,” “silahlekelwe,” okanye “simkelwe.” Ukusebenzisa amabinzana anjengala ngaphandle kokuchaza okwenzekileyo kusekumdida umntwana omncinane. Kakade ke, uYesu walisebenzisa ibinzana elithi ulele njengomzekeliso yaye baqonda abantu awayethetha nabo ukuba wayethetha ukuthini. Noko ke, khumbula ukuba wayengathethi nabantwana. Kamva, wawucacisa umzekeliso wakhe. UYesu wathi kubalandeli bakhe: “ULazaro umhlobo wethu uye kuphumla.” Abafundi, abangabantu abadala “babecinga ukuba wayethetha ngokuphumla ebuthongweni.” Ngoko ke, uYesu wacacisa wathi: “ULazaro ufile.” (Yohane 11:11-14) Ukuba abantu abadala kufuneka bechazelwe ngokucacileyo ngolo hlobo kubekele phi ke ebantwaneni.

Ababhali uMary Ann Emswiler noJames P. Emswiler bathi: “Umzali usenokusebenzisa amazwi asenokungavakali engothusi xa echazela umntwana wakhe ngokufa kodwa ngokwenjenjalo usenokwenza umntwana acinge ezinye izinto ezinokumoyikisa.” Ngokomzekelo, ngokuxelela nje umntwana ukuba isalamane esifileyo silele oko kunokubangela umntwana oyike xa esiya kulala kuba ecinga ukuba esiya kulala usenokungavuki. Ukuba uxelelwe nje ukuba isalamane esifileyo “simkile” umntwana omncinane usenokucinga ukuba ushiywe kwesinomhlwa.

Abazali abaninzi baye bafumanisa ukuba xa uthetha ngokungqalileyo emntwaneni xa umchazela umntwana ngokufa kwesalamane, uye akhawuleze aqonde kunokuba usebenzise amagama antshonkothileyo. Abaphandi bacebisa ukuba umkhuthaze umntwana wakho ukuba abuze imibuzo aze athethe nangezinto ezimxhalabisayo. Xa usoloko uncokola naye usenokufumana ithuba lokumcacisela izinto angaziqondi kakuhle kuze kuvele neendlela onokumnceda ngazo umntwana wakho.

Oyena Mthombo Unokuthenjwa Wokhokelo

Ngexesha kusaziliwe umntwana wakho uthembele kuwe ngolwalathiso, inkxaso nokuphendulelwa imibuzo. Unokuyifumana phi inkcazelo ngokufa enokuthenjwa? Abantu abaninzi baye bafumanisa ukuba iBhayibhile ngowona mthombo unokuthenjwa wentuthuzelo nethemba. Inenkcazelo enenkcukacha ngemvelaphi yokufa, ngemeko yabantu abafileyo nangethemba ngabo. Inyaniso ecace nakuthathatha yokuba “abafileyo . . . abazi nto konke konke” ifanele incede umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba isalamane sakhe esifileyo asingcungcutheki. (INtshumayeli 9:5) Ukongezelela, eBhayibhileni uThixo usinik’ ithemba lokuba siza kuphinda sizibona izalamane zethu ezifileyo kwiparadesi eza kube ilapha emhlabeni.—Yohane 5:28, 29.

Ngokutyhila iZibhalo Ezingcwele, unokunceda umntwana wakho afunde ukuba iBhayibhile inokhokelo olunokuthenjwa yaye iyasithuthuzela kuyo nayiphi na imeko ebuhlungu. Kwangaxeshanye, umntwana wakho uya kuphawula ukuba wena njengomzali uxhomekeke kukhokelo lweLizwi likaThixo kwimibandela ebalulekileyo ebomini.—IMizekeliso 22:6; 2 Timoti 3:15.

Imibuzo Yakho Iyaphendulwa

Ukunceda umntwana wakho anyamezele intlungu yokufelwa sisalamane usenokucinga ngamaxesha owawungayazi nokuba mawuthini. Unokwenza ntoni?a Makhe sihl’ amahlongwane eminye yemibuzo esenokubuzwa.

• Ngaba ndifanele ndizifihle ukuba ndisentlungwini emntwaneni wam? Kuyinto engokwemvelo ukufuna ukumkhusela umntwana wakho. Kodwa ngaba kuphosakele ukuba umntwana wakho akubone ukuba usentlungwini? Abazali abaninzi baye bafumanisa ukuba kuhle ukuba bazibonakalise kubantwana babo ukuba basentlungwini. Abanye baye baxubusha nabantwana babo ngemizekelo eseBhayibhileni abaye balila bebonwa ngabanye abantu. Ngokomzekelo, uYesu walila xa umhlobo wakhe amthandayo uLazaro wafayo. uYesu akazange azifihle iimvakalelo zakhe.

• Ngaba umntwana wam omncinane ufanele aye emngcwabeni? Ukuba umntwana uyaya kuya kuba kuhle ukuba achazelwe kusengaphambili ngokuza kwenzeka nesizathu sokuba kubekho umngcwabo. Kakade ke, kwezinye iimeko benezizathu ezivakalayo abazali basegqib’ ekubeni abantwana babo bangayi emngcwabeni. Ukuba abantwana baye kumngcwabo oqhutywa ngamaNgqina kaYehova basenokuzuza kwintetho esekelwe eBhayibhileni eza kube inikelwa. Ukongezelela, ‘umsa’ oza kube uboniswa ngabeze emngcwabeni usenokubathuthuzela abantwana.—Roma 12:10, 15; Yohane 13:34, 35.

• Ngaba ndingancokola nomntwana wam ngesalamane sethu esifile? Abanye abaphandi bathi ukuba awuthethi ngalo mntu ufileyo, umntwana wakho usenokucinga ukuba ikhona into oyifihlayo ngalo mntu okanye uzama ukumkhupha engqondweni. UAuthor Julia Rathkey uthi: “Kubalulekile ukunceda abantwana bafunde ukuhlala bemkhumbula baze bangoyiki.” Ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo ngesalamane esifileyo nokukhankanya izinto ezintle ngobuntu nangobomi bakhe kusenokunceda unyamezele intlungu. Abazali abangamaNgqina bathuthuzela abantwana babo ngethemba eliseBhayibhileni loluvukela kwabantu abafileyo kumhlaba oyiparadesi, apho ukugula nokufa kuya kube kungasekho.—ISityhilelo 21:4.

• Ndinokumnceda njani umntwana wam ngoxa esentlungwini? Ngoxa umntwana wakho esentlungwini usenokugula. Usenokuba nomsindo ngenxa yokuba evakalelwa kukuba akanakuzinceda yaye ekhathazekile. Musa ukothuka ukuba umntwana wakho uvakalelwa kukuba nguye obangele ukuba eso salamane sife, okanye axhalabe kuba uye wafika emva kwexesha, okanye agule. Unokumnceda njani umntwana wakho? Umntwana wakho akafanele avakalelwe kukuba awuqapheli ukuba ukhathazekile. Ngoko ke, mbek’ esweni. Musa ukumgweba okanye uyithabathe lula intlungu yakhe. Mqinisekise rhoqo uze umkhuthaze ukuba abuze imibuzo okanye athethe. Usenokulomeleza ithemba lomntwana—nelakho—kuba ‘ngentuthuzelo yeZibhalo siba nethemba.’—Roma 15:4.

• Ndingabuyela nini kwizinto ebendidla ngokuzenza neminye imisebenzi? Iingcali zithi, zenze ezi zinto ubuqhele ukuzenza. Ukwenjenjalo kunokunceda ekunyamezeleni intlungu. Phakathi kwamaNgqina kaYehova, abazali abaninzi baye bafumanisa ukuba ukwenza izinto zokomoya ebeniqhele ukuzenza, njengokufunda iBhayibhile njengentsapho nokuya kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu, kunokuyomeleza intsapho ngokomoya.—Duteronomi 6:4-9; Hebhere 10:24, 25.

De kube lixesha xa uYehova uThixo uphelisa ukugula nokufa, ngamanye amaxesha abantwana kuya kufuneka bajamelane nentlungu yokufelwa. (Isaya 25:8) Noko ke, xa beqinisekiswa yaye bexhaswa abantwana banokuncedwa bayinyamezele ngokuphumelelayo intlungu yokufelwa sisalamane.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 19]

Mkhuthaze umntwana wakho ukuba abuze imibuzo aze athethe nangezinto ezimxhalabisayo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 20]

Yenza izinto obuqhele ukuzenza, kuquka nokufunda iBhayibhile njengentsapho