ULUTSHA LUYABUZA
Ukuthandana—Inxalenye 3: Ngaba Sifanele Sohlukane?
Kudala nithandana, kodwa ngoku niqalisa ukuthandabuza. Ngaba nifanele niqhubeke nithandana okanye nifanele nohlukane? Eli nqaku lenzelwe ukukunceda wenze isigqibo.
Kweli nqaku
Into onokuyenza xa uthandabuza
Emva kwexesha bethandana, umfana nentombi basenokubona ukuba abafani ngendlela ebebecinga ngayo ekuqaleni. Ngokomzekelo:
Omnye uthanda ukuya elwandle; omnye uthanda ukuzonwabisa ngokunyuka iintaba.
Omnye uneentloni; omnye akanazo.
Omnye unamaqhinga; omnye usoloko ethetha inyani.
Inoba uyabona ukuba zonke ezi zinto azifani. Okokuqala bonke aba bantu bathanda izinto ezingafaniyo; okwesibini banobuntu obungafaniyo; okwesithathu bazijonga ngendlela engafaniyo izinto ezibalulekileyo.
Cinga ngale nto: Kwezi zinto zintathu, yeyiphi ekunokuba nzima kuwe ukuyinyamezela xa ninokutshata? Yeyiphi onokuyekelela kuyo ukuba ikhona?
Indoda nomfazi bangonwaba emtshatweni nangona bethanda izinto ezingafaniyo okanye benobuntu obungafaniyo. Kaloku ukufanelana nomntu akuthethi kuthi niyafana. Indoda nomfazi, ngamanye amaxesha baye bade bathande izinto ezifanayo, ibe xa benobuntu obungafaniyo bayakwazi ukuncedana.a
Kwelinye icala, kubalulekile ukuba wena nomntu otshata naye nizijonge ngokufanayo izinto ezibalulekileyo, njengendlela yokuziphatha, ukukhonza kunye, nezinto ezilungileyo nezirongo. Ukuba akunjalo, loo nto isenokubonisa ukuba nimele nohlukane.
Ngokomzekelo, makhe sithethe ngabantu abakhonza kwiinkonzo ezingafaniyo. Incwadi ethi Fighting for Your Marriage ibonisa ukuba: “Indoda nebhinqa abatshatileyo abakhonza kwiinkonzo ezingafaniyo basenokudivosa.”
Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Sanukuzidibanisa nabantu abangakholwayo.”—2 Korinte 6:14, umbhalo osemazantsi.
Xa usenza isigqibo
IBhayibhile ithi abo batshatayo “baza kuba neengxaki ezininzi.” (1 Korinte 7:28) Ngoko mayingakothusi le nto xa kuvela iingxaki nisathandana.
Xa nixabana ngezinto ezincinci, loo nto ayithethi ukuba nimele niyeke ukuthandana. Eyona nto umele uzibuze yona kukuba ningakwazi na ukuzilungisa kakuhle nizolile? Kubalulekile ukuba nikwazi ukuyenza loo nto ukuba niza kutshata.
Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Yibani nobubele omnye komnye, nibe novelwano, nixolelane ngokusuka entliziyweni.”—Efese 4:32.
Ukuba nisoloko ningavumelani ngezinto ezibalulekileyo, loo nto isenokubonisa ukuba anifanelani. Ukuba kunjalo, kubhetele ukuyibona kwangoku loo nto kunokuba niyibone xa nitshatile!
Ukuba nisoloko nixabana okanye ningavumelani ngezinto ezibalulekileyo, loo nto isenokubonisa ukuba anifanelani
Eyona nto siyithethayo: Ukuba unezinto ongaziqondiyo ngomntu othandana naye okanye awuziva ukulungele ukutshata ungayithathi kancinci loo nto!
Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Umntu olumkileyo uyibona iseza ingozi aze ayiphephe, kodwa ongenamava uya ngqo kuyo aze achaneke.”—IMizekeliso 22:3.
Ukuba ugqibe ekubeni nohlukane
Kubuhlungu ukohlukana nomntu othandana naye. Kodwa ukuba ninezinto ezinixhalabisayo, kusenokuba bhetele ukuba nohlukane.
Ungayenza njani loo nto? Ninokudibana ubuso ngobuso, kunokuba uthumele umyalezo okanye nifowunelane. Ngaphandle kokuba iimeko azinivumeli, ningakhetha ixesha nendawo efanelekileyo eniza kuthetha kuyo.
Umgaqo weBhayibhile: “Thethani inyaniso omnye komnye.”—Zekariya 8:16.
Ukohlukana akuthethi ukuba wohlulekile ukuthandana. Khumbula ukuba xa nithandana, nenzela ukuba nenze isigqibo sokuba ningatshata na okanye nimele nohlukane. Nokuba niyayeka ukuthandana, zikhona izinto ezibalulekileyo onokuzifunda apho.
Khawuzibuze: ‘Ndifunde ntoni ngam ngoku bendithandana? Ngaba zikhona izinto endizibonileyo endifanele ndiphucule kuzo? Xa ndinokhetha ukuthandana kwakhona yintoni endinokuyitshintsha kwindlela endenza ngayo?’
a Ukuze ubone ezinye zeengxaki ezinokubakho xa indoda nomfazi betshatile, jonga inqaku elithi, “Ukunceda Iintsapho—Xa Ningafani” nelithi “Ukunceda Iintsapho—Indlela Onokuzijonga Ngayo Izinto Ezikucaphukisayo.”