Kutheni Kufuneka Ndikuphephe Ukufana Nabantu Abadumileyo?—Inxalenye 2: Le nxalenye yeyabafana

Kutheth’ ukuthini ukufana nabantu abadumileyo?

Khawujonge ezi bhokisi uze uphendule imibuzo eza kulandela.

1. Njengokuba udla ngokubona abafana (kwiifilimu, kumabonwakude nakwiimagazini) ungathi ziziphi iimpawu ezibachaza kakuhle?

2. Ziziphi iimpawu obungathanda ukwaziwa ngazo?

Kunokwenzeka ukuba iimpendulo zombuzo wokuqala uzifumene kwibhokisi yokuqala, zaza ezesibini wazifumana kwibhokisi yesibini. Ukuba kunjalo, loo nto ithetha ukuba ufuna ukuba bhetele kunabantu abadumileyo ngoba indlela abafana abachazwa ngayo ayifani tu nawe. Makhe sithethe ngesizathu soko.

• Amajelo awahlukahlukeneyo adla ngokubenza abafana babe ngathi ngoophuma silwe okanye banemvukelo. Incwadi ethi, Why Boys Don’t Talk—and Why It Matters, ibonisa ukuba abona bafana badumileyo kumabonwakude, kwiimuvi nakwezemidlalo “ngabanamandla nabathanda ukwenza izinto ngetshova. . . . Eyona nto ikhuthazwayo apha kukuba ukuze wamkeleke kufuneka uqalis’ ukwenza izinto ngetshova nawe.”

  Khawucinge ngoku: Ngaba ukwenza izinto ngetshova kuza kukunceda ube ngumhlobo, umsebénzi okanye umyeni ongcono? Xa ucatshukisiwe, yintoni oqal’ uyenze, ngaba ugqajukelwa ngumsindo okanye uye uwulawule? Yintoni engabonisa ukuba uneempawu ezithandekayo zomntu oqolileyo?

  IBhayibhile ithi: “Ozeka kade umsindo ulunge ngakumbi kunendoda enamandla, yaye owulawulayo umoya wakhe ungaphezu kothimba isixeko.”—IMizekeliso 16:32.

  

• Amajelo aveza abafana ngokungathi bathe tii sisini. UChris ona-17 uthi: “Kwiimuvi abafana bayawatshintshatshintsha amantombazana athandana nawo ngathi batshintsha nje iimpahla. UGary ona-18 wongeza athi: “Emajelweni umfana uvezwa abe ngathi ayikho enye into ayicingayo ngaphandle kwesini.” Ngokomzekelo ezinye iimuvi zibuveza ubomi bomfana bube ngathi eyona nto iphambili kubo kukuhamba amatheko, ukusela nokulala namantombazana.

  Khawucinge ngoku: Ngaba le ndlela yokuphila ibonisa uhlobo lomntu ofuna ukuba lulo. Ngaba indoda eneempawu ezintle iwaphatha ngembeko amabhinqa okanye iwajonga njengezinto enokuzanelisa kuzo?

  IBhayibhile ithi: “Ukuze ngamnye wenu akwazi ukusizuza esakhe isitya ngobungcwalisa nembeko. Kungekhona ngenkanuko yesini.”—1 Tesalonika 4:4, 5.

• Amajelo aveza abafana ngokungathi abakhathali. Kwiimuvi ezidumileyo nakumabonwakude, abafana badla ngokuvezwa njengabantu abonqenayo nabangakwaziyo ukusebenza. Yiloo nto abanye abant’ abadala bengabathembi ncam. UGary ekukhe kwathethwa ngaye ngaphambilana uthi: “Xa ndandina-16, kwakunzima kakhulu ukufumana umsebenzi ngoba oosomashishini bengingqi yam babefuna ukuqesha amabhinqa kuphela. Babecinga ukuba bonke abafana abanakuthenjwa yaye abakhathali!”

  Khawucinge ngoku: Ngaba kufanelekile ukucinga ukuba abafana abakhathali yaye abanakuthenjwa? Ungabonisa njani ukuba wohlukile?

  IBhayibhile ithi: “Makungabikho mntu ubujongela phantsi ubutsha bakho. Kunoko, yiba ngumzekelo wabo bathembekileyo ngokuthetha, ngehambo, ngothando, ngokholo, ngobunyulu.”—1 Timoti 4:12.

Oko umele ukwazi

• Iimagazini noomabonwakude zinokukuphembelela ngamandla. Ngokomzekelo, zinokukwenza uzive unyanzelekile ukuba ulandele ifashoni efikayo. UColin ona-17 uthi: “Kukho iintengiso ezibonisa indlela abafana ekufuneka banxibe ngayo, ziphinde zibonise amantombazana angqonge abo bafana. Ezi ntengiso zikwenza ufune ukuthenga ezo mpahla. Ndiyenze izihlandlo eziliqela loo nto!”

  Khawucinge ngoku: Ngab’ indlela onxiba ngayo ityhila ubuntu bakho, okanye ulinganisa nje abanye abantu? Yipokotho kabani etyebayo xa ulandela ifashoni?

  IBhayibhile ithi: “Musani ukumilisa okwale nkqubo yezinto.”—Roma 12:2.

• Ukulinganisa abantu akuzi kukwenza uthandwe ngamantombazana. Khawuve ukuba athini amanye amantombazana:

  • “Mna andinakumkhetha umfana ozenza into angeyiyo nozithandisa kwabanye abantu. Nyhani ke umfana owenza ezo zinto uyadika!”—UAnna.

  • “Abantu abenza izibhengezo bazenza ngendlela yokuba abafana bacinge ukuba kufuneka babe nezixhobo ezithile ze-elektroniki ukuze bathandwe ngamantombazana. Njengokuba amantombazana esiya ekhula, ezo zinto ziya zingabi namsebenzi. Kunoko ajonga iimpawu nendlela abafana ababaphatha ngayo abanye abantu. Ngokomzekelo amantombazana ayamthanda umfana onyanisekileyo nothembekileyo.”—UDanielle.

  • “Abafana abaziinzwana badla ngokuziphakamisa, andifuni ke mna ukuba kunye nomntu onjalo. Umntu oneempawu ezingathandekiyo uye angathandeki naye.”—UDiana.

  Khawucinge ngoku: Xa zichaza uSamuweli esengumfana, iZibhalo zithi, ‘wayekhula ngokukhula yaye ethandeka ngakumbi kokubini kuYehova nakubantu.’ (1 Samuweli 2:26) Ziziphi iimpawu ekufuneka usebenzele kuzo ukuze nawe waziwe ngale ndlela?

  IBhayibhile ithi: “Yibani ngamadoda.”—1 Korinte 16:13.

Oko unokukwenza

• Wuqwalasele kakuhle lo mba.

  Khawuve la mazwi aseBhayibhileni: “Konke okusehlabathini—inkanuko yenyama nenkanuko yamehlo nokuqhayisa ngezinto zobu bomi—akuphumi kuBawo, kodwa kuphuma ehlabathini.”—1 Yohane 2:16.

  Amajelo asebenzisa loo mnqweno kanye aze awenze ube yinto eqhelekileyo. Zifundise ukuziqonda kakuhle izinto ozibonayo. Idla ngokuba ngabénzi beentengiso abanxanelwe ukwenza imali.

• Zenzele ezakho izigqibo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Nambathe ubuntu obutsha, obuthi ngolwazi oluchanileyo benziwe bube butsha ngokomfanekiso waLowo wabudalayo.”—kungekhona ngokomfanekiso okumabonwakude neemagazini.—Kolose 3:10.

  Ukuze ukwazi ukulandela eli cebiso, cinga ngeempawu ezintle ezisekuqaleni kweli nqaku, ezi ubungathanda ukwaziwa ngazo. Qalisa ngoku ukuzibonisa okanye ukuziphucula.

• Zikhangelele abantu abaneempawu ezintle ongabalinganisa. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ohamba nezilumko uya kuba sisilumko naye.” (IMizekeliso 13:20) Yiyiphi indoda ebomini bakho eye yazingqina isisilumko? Amanye asenokuba sentsatsheni yakho, mhlawumbi utata, umalume okanye abahlobo abaqolileyo. AmaNgqina kaYehova anamadoda amaninzi angumzekelo ebandleni lamaKristu. IBhayibhile ngokwayo inabantu abaneempawu ezintle kuquka uTito ongumzekelo wokulinganiswa lulutsha.—Tito 2:6-8.

  Icebiso: Sebenzisa incwadi ethi, Xelisa Ukholo Lwabo, uze ufunde ngamadoda ayimizekelo afana noAbheli, uNowa, uAbraham, uSamuweli, uEliya, uYona, uYosefu noPetros.