Isahluko 15
Ukubeka Abazali Bethu Abalupheleyo
1. Liliphi ityala esinalo kubazali bethu, yaye simele sivakalelwe njani size sibenzele ntoni?
ISILUMKO samandulo saluleka sisithi: “Mphulaphule uyihlo, lowo wakuzalayo, ungamdeli unyoko akuba mkhulu.” (IMizekeliso 23:22) Usenokuthi: ‘Andinakuze ndiyenze loo nto!’ Kunokubajongela phantsi oomama bethu—okanye ootata bethu—inkoliso yethu ibathanda ngokunzulu. Siyaqonda ukuba sinetyala elikhulu kubo. Okokuqala, abazali bethu basinika ubomi. Ngoxa uYehova enguMthombo wobomi, ukuba abazali bethu bebengekho ngesingekho. Ayikho into esinokuyinika abazali bethu exabiseke njengobomi. Kwakhona, cinga ngokuzincama, inkxalabo, iindleko nenyameko enothando ebandakanyekileyo ekuncedeni umntwana ekukhuleni kwakhe ade abe ngumntu omkhulu. Ngoko ke, hayi indlela ekusengqiqweni ngayo ukuba iLizwi likaThixo lisiluleke lisithi: “Beka uyihlo nonyoko . . . ukuze kukuhambele kakuhle uze uhlale ixesha elide emhlabeni”!—Efese 6:2, 3.
UKUQONDA IINTSWELO ZABO EZINGOKWEEMVAKALELO
2. Abantwana abakhulileyo banokubahlawula njani “imbuyekezo” abazali babo?
2 Umpostile uPawulos wabhalela amaKristu wathi: “[Abantwana okanye abazukulwana] mabafunde kuqala ukuqhelisela uzinikelo lobuthixo kweyabo indlu nokuqhubeka bebahlawula imbuyekezo ebafaneleyo abazali noomawokhulu babo, kuba oku kwamkelekile emehlweni kaThixo.” (1 Timoti 5:4) Abantwana abakhulileyo bayihlawula le “mbuyekezo” ngokubonisa uxabiso ngothando, umsebenzi nenyameko abayibonakalisa kubo abazali noomakhulu nootatomkhulu babo kangangeminyaka emininzi. Enye indlela abanokukwenza ngayo oku abantwana kukuqonda ukuba abantu abadala bayakufuna ukuthandwa nokukhuthazwa ngokufanayo nabanye abantu—badla ngokukufuna ngakumbi oku. Njengathi sonke, bayakufuna ukuziva bexatyiswa. Bayafuna ukuva ukuba ubomi babo buxabisekile.
3. Sinokubabeka njani abazali noomakhulu nootatomkhulu?
3 Ngoko sinokubabeka abazali noomakhulu nootatomkhulu bethu ngokubazisa ukuba siyabathanda. (1 Korinte 16:14) Ukuba abazali bethu abahlali nathi, sifanele sikhumbule ukuba ukunxibelelana nabo kunokubavuyisa gqitha. Ukubabhalela ileta emnandi, ukubatsalela umnxeba, okanye ukubatyelela kunokufak’ isandla ngokwenene kuvuyo lwabo. UMiyo, ohlala eJapan, xa wayeneminyaka engama-82 ubudala wabhala wathi: “Intombi yam [enomyeni ongumlungiseleli ohambahambayo] indixelela oku: ‘Mama, ndicela “uhambe” nathi.’ Indithumelela ucwangciso lohambo lwabo nenombolo yomnxeba yeveki nganye. Ndiyakwazi ukujonga kwimaphu yam ndize ndithi: ‘Owu. Balapha ngoku!’ Ndisoloko ndimbulela uYehova ngokundisikelela ngomntwana onje.”
UKUBANCEDA NGEZINTO EZIPHATHEKAYO
4. Isithethe sonqulo samaYuda sasiyikhuthaza njani inkohlakalo kubantu abalupheleyo?
4 Ngaba ukubeka abazali bakho kusenokuquka ukunyamekela iintswelo zabo zezinto eziphathekayo? Ewe. Kusoloko kunjalo. Ngomhla kaYesu iinkokeli zonqulo zamaYuda zazikhuthaza isithethe sokuba ukuba umntu uthe imali okanye into yakhe ‘sisipho esinikelwe kuThixo,’ wayengenambopheleleko yakuyisebenzisela ukunyamekela abazali bakhe. (Mateyu 15:3-6) Enjani yona inkohlakalo! Enyanisweni, ezo nkokeli zonqulo zazikhuthaza abantu ukuba bangababeki abazali babo kodwa babadele ngokuthi ngokuzingca bangazikhathaleli iintswelo zabo. Thina asifuni ukuba kwenzeke oko!—Duteronomi 27:16.
5. Nangona ekho amalungiselelo karhulumente kwamanye amazwe, kutheni ukubeka abazali bakho maxa wambi kuquka ukubanceda ngemali?
5 Kumazwe amaninzi namhlanje, iinkqubo ezixhaswa ngurhulumente zilungiselela abantu abalupheleyo izinto eziphathekayo, njengokutya, impahla nekhusi. Ukongezelela koko, abalupheleyo basenokuba bakulungiselela ukwaluphala kwabo. Kodwa ukuba la malungiselelo ayaphela okanye akanele, abantwana babeka abazali babo ngokwenza oko banako ukuze banelise iintswelo zabazali babo. Enyanisweni, ukunyamekela abazali abalupheleyo bubungqina bozinikelo lobuthixo, oko kukuthi, kukuzinikela kuYehova uThixo, uMsunguli welungiselelo lentsapho.
UTHANDO NOKUZINCAMA
6. Ngawaphi amalungiselelo okuphila abanye abaye bawenza ukuze banyamekele iintswelo zabazali babo?
6 Abantwana abaninzi abatshatileyo baye bazinyamekela ngokunothando nangokuzincama iintswelo zabazali abalupheleyo. Bambi baye babathabatha baya kuhlala nabo okanye bafudukela kufutshane nabo. Abanye baye baya kuhlala nabazali babo. Amaxesha amaninzi, loo malungiselelo aye angqineka eyintsikelelo kubazali nakubantwana.
7. Kutheni kukuhle ukuba singazenzi ngokungxama izigqibo ngabazali abalupheleyo?
7 Noko ke, maxa wambi ukwenza oko akubi namiphumo mihle. Ngoba? Mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba ezo zigqibo zenziwe ngokungxama okanye kungacingwanga. IBhayibhile ngobulumko ilumkisa isithi: “Onobuqili uyakuqonda ukunyathela kwakhe.” (IMizekeliso 14:15) Ngokomzekelo, masithi umama wakho owalupheleyo unengxaki yokuhlala yedwa yaye ucinga ukuba angancedakala ngokuza kuhlala nawe. Xa ukuqonda ngobulumko ukunyathela kwakho, usenokuzibuza oku kulandelayo: Yiyiphi eyona nto ayisweleyo? Ngaba zikho iinkonzo ezithile okanye ezikarhulumente ezinokunikela isicombululo esisesinye? Ngaba uyafuna ukufuduka? Ukuba uyafuna, kuza kubuchaphazela njani ubomi bakhe? Ngaba kuza kufuneka ashiye abahlobo bakhe ngasemva? Oku kuza kuzichaphazela njani iimvakalelo zakhe? Ngaba ukhe wathetha naye ngale mibandela? Oko kufuduka kuza kukuchaphazela njani wena, iqabane lakho nabantwana bakho? Ukuba umama wakho ufuna ukunyanyekelwa, ngubani oza kwenza oko? Ngaba ningabelana ngaloo mbopheleleko? Ngaba uwuxubushile lo mbandela nabo babandakanyekileyo?
8. Ngubani onokuthetha naye xa usenza isigqibo sokunceda abazali bakho abalupheleyo?
8 Ekubeni imbopheleleko yokumnyamekela ibandakanya bonke abantwana bentsapho, kusenokuba bubulumko ukuba nentlanganiso yentsapho ukuze bonke babe nesabelo kwezi zigqibo. Ukuthetha nabadala kwibandla lamaKristu okanye nabahlobo abaye banengxaki efanayo nako kusenokukunceda. IBhayibhile ilumkisa isithi: “Iingcinga ziyatshitsha ngokungabikho kokucweya; ke zona zima ngamaphakathi amaninzi.”—IMizekeliso 15:22.
YIBA NOVELWANO NOLWAZELELELO
9, 10. (a) Nangona iminyaka ihamba, luluphi ulwazelelelo olufanele luboniswe kwabalupheleyo? (b) Enoba umntwana okhulileyo uthabatha liphi inyathelo ngabazali bakhe, yintoni afanele asoloko ebanika yona?
9 Ukubeka abazali bethu abalupheleyo kufuna sibe novelwano nolwazelelelo. Njengokuba iminyaka ihamba, abantu abakhulileyo basenokukufumanisa kunzima ngakumbi ukuhamba, ukutya nokukhumbula izinto. Basenokufuna ukuncedwa. Abantwana badla ngokuzixhalabisa gqitha ngoku baze bazame ukubanika ukhokelo. Kodwa abantu abalupheleyo badala yaye baye baqokelela ubulumko namava ebomini, ubomi babo bonke bebezinyamekela yaye bezenzela izigqibo. Oko bakuko nokuzihlonela kuxhomekeke kwindima yabo njengabazali nabantu abakhulu. Abazali abavakalelwa kukuba bamele bazivumele balawulwe ngabantwana basenokudandatheka yaye bacaphuke. Abanye bayaqumba baze bayichase imigudu abacinga ukuba ibahlutha inkululeko yabo.
10 Ezi ngxaki azinazicombululo zilula, kodwa bububele ukuvumela abazali abalupheleyo bazinyamekele baze bazenzele izigqibo zabo kangangoko banako. Kububulumko ukungazenzeli izigqibo ngoko kufanele abazali bakho ungekathethi nabo kuqala. Basenokuba bayaphelelwa. Banike ithuba lokukhe baziphathe. Usenokufumanisa ukuba xa uyeka ukulawula ubomi babo, ulwalamano lwenu luya kuba luhle ngakumbi. Baya konwaba ngakumbi, yaye nawe uya kuba njalo. Kwanokuba kufuneka ubanyanzele kwezinye izinto eziza kubanceda, ukubeka abazali bakho kufuna ukuba ubaphathe ngokundiliseka nentlonelo ebafaneleyo. ILizwi likaThixo lisiluleka lisithi: “Suka ume ebusweni bengwevu, ububeke ubuso bexhego.”—Levitikus 19:32.
UKUHLALA UNESIMO SENGQONDO ESIFANELEKILEYO
11-13. Ukuba ulwalamano lomntwana okhulileyo belungeluhle nabazali bakhe ngaphambili, unokujamelana njani nocelomngeni lokubanyamekela xa bekhulile ngeminyaka?
11 Maxa wambi ingxaki ababanayo abantwana abadala ekubekeni abazali babo abalupheleyo iquka ulwalamano ababenalo nabazali babo ngaphambili. Mhlawumbi utata wakho wayengenabubele yaye engenaluthando, umama wakho ebukhali yaye engqwabalala. Usenokuba usakhathazekile, unomsindo, okanye ubuhlungu kuba babengelohlobo lwabazali owawufuna babe lulo. Ngaba unokuzoyisa iimvakalelo ezinjalo?a
12 UBasse, owakhulela eFinland, ubalisa oku: “Utata wam wesibini wayeligosa lamaSS kwiJamani yamaNazi. Wayecaphuka msinya, yaye wayenobungozi. Amaxesha amaninzi wayebetha umama ndibukele. Ngenye imini ndandimcaphukisile, watsala ibhanti lakhe waza wandibetha ngekhonkco lalo ebusweni. Landibetha ndaya kuthi khotsho ngaphaya kwebhedi.”
13 Ukanti, kwelinye icala wayengumntu wumbi. UBasse wongezelela athi: “Kwelinye icala, wayesebenza nzima yaye wayezibhokoxa ekunyamekeleni intsapho ngezinto eziphathekayo. Akazange abe nomsa njengotata kum, kodwa ndiyazi ukuba wayenengxaki engokweemvakalelo. Wagxothwa ngunina eseyinkwenkwana. Wakhula ezilwela waza walwa emfazweni akuba ngumfana. Ndandinolwazelelelo ngemeko yakhe ukusa kumlinganiselo othile yaye andizange ndimbeke tyala. Ebudaleni bam, ndandifuna ukumnceda kangangoko ndinako de waya kufa. Kwakungelula, kodwa ndenza konke okusemandleni am. Ndazama ukuba ngunyana olungileyo kwada kwasekugqibeleni, yaye ndicinga ukuba wandamkela njengonyana wakhe.”
14. Sisiphi isibhalo esisebenza kuzo zonke iimeko, kuquka naleyo ivela xa unyamekela abazali abalupheleyo?
14 Kwiimeko zentsapho, njengakwezinye iimeko, esi siluleko seBhayibhile siyasebenza: “Yambathani umsa onofefe wemfesane, ububele, ukuthobeka kwengqondo, ubulali, nokuzeka kade umsindo. Qhubekani ninyamezelana yaye nixolelana ngesisa ukuba nabani na unonobangela wokukhalazela omnye. Kwananjengoko noYehova wanixolela ngesisa, yenzani njalo nani.”—Kolose 3:12, 13.
LOWO UNYAMEKELA OMNYE UMNTU NAYE UFUNA UKUNYANYEKELWA
15. Kutheni ukunyamekela abazali maxa wambi kudandathekisa?
15 Ukunyamekela umzali owalupheleyo kungumsebenzi onzima, kubandakanya okuninzi, kuyimbopheleleko enkulu, yaye kufuna ixesha elininzi. Kodwa eyona nto idla ngokuba nzima ziimvakalelo. Kubuhlungu ukubukela umzali wakho enempilo enkenenkene, elibala yaye engasakwazi kuzinceda. USandy, wasePuerto Rico, ubalisa oku: “Umama wayeyintsika yasekhaya. Kwakubuhlungu ukumnyamekela. Waqala ngokuqhwalela; kwaza kwafuneka asimelele, kwaza kwafuneka aqhutywe ngesitulo esinamavili. Emva koko yaba mandundu gqitha imeko yakhe wada waya kulala kobandayo. Waba nomhlaza wamathambo kwaza kwafuneka ahlale enyanyekelwa—imini nobusuku. Sasimhlamba simtyisa size simfundele. Sasitsala nzima gqitha—ngokukodwa ngokweemvakalelo. Xa ndaphawula ukuba umama uyafa, ndalila gqitha kuba ndandimthanda ngeyona ndlela.”
16, 17. Liliphi icebiso elinokunceda lowo unyamekela omnye umntu ahlale ezijonga ngokulungeleleneyo izinto?
16 Ukuba uzifumanisa ukuloo meko, yintoni onokuyenza ukuze uphumelele? Ukuphulaphula uYehova ngokufunda iBhayibhile nokuthetha naye ngomthandazo kuya kukunceda ngokwenene. (Filipi 4:6, 7) Ngendlela esebenzisekayo, qiniseka ukuba utya ukutya okunesondlo yaye zama ukulala ngokwaneleyo. Ngokwenza oku, uya kukulungela, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni, ukunyamekela omthandayo. Mhlawumbi usenokulungiselela ukufumana isiqabu kucwangciso lwemihla ngemihla. Kwanaxa ungenakuya ekhefini, sekunjalo kububulumko ukucwangcisa ixesha lokuphumla. Ukuze ufumane ixesha, usenokukwazi ukulungiselela ukuba omnye umntu ahlale nomzali wakho ogulayo.
17 Kuqhelekile ukuba umntu omdala onyamekela omnye umntu alindele ukwenza izinto asenokungakwazi ukuzenza. Kodwa musa ukuziva unetyala xa ungakwazi ukwenza ezinye izinto. Kwezinye iimeko kusenokufuneka use loo mntu umthandayo kwikhaya lokunyamekela abantu abakhulileyo. Ukuba unyamekela umntu othile, lindela ukwenza izinto ngokwamandla akho. Kufuneka ulungelelanise iintswelo zabazali bakho nezabantwana bakho, ezeqabane lakho nezakho.
AMANDLA ANGAPHEZULU KUNAQHELEKILEYO
18, 19. Liliphi idinga elenziwe nguYehova lokusixhasa, yaye ngawaphi amava abonisa ukuba uyaligcina eli dinga?
18 NgeLizwi lakhe, iBhayibhile, uYehova ngothando usinika ukhokelo olunokunceda umntu onyamekela umzali owalupheleyo, kodwa uncedo lwakhe aluphelelanga apho. “Usondele uYehova kubo bonke abamnqulayo,” ephefumlelwe wabhala watsho umdumisi. “Akuve ukuzibika kwabo, abasindise.” UYehova uya kubasindisa, okanye abalondoloze, abathembekileyo bakhe kwanakwezona meko zinzima.—INdumiso 145:18, 19.
19 UMyrna, wakwiiPhilippines, wafumanisa ukuba xa enyamekela unina, owayengakwazi kuzenzela nto ngenxa yokufa amalungu omzimba. UMyrna ubhala athi: “Akukho nto idandathekisa njengokubona umntu omthandayo ebandezelekile, engakwazi ukuxelela ukuba kubuhlungu phi. Kwakufana nokumbukela esiya ezika emanzini, kube kungekho nto ndinokuyenza. Amaxesha amaninzi ndandidla ngokuguqa ngedolo ndichazele uYehova indlela endidinwe ngayo. Ndakhala njengoDavide, owabongoza uYehova ukuba afake iinyembezi zakhe entsubeni aze amkhumbule. [INdumiso 56:8] Yaye njengokuba uYehova wathembisayo, wandinika amandla endandiwafuna. ‘UYehova wandixhasa.’”—INdumiso 18:18.
20. Liliphi idinga eliseBhayibhileni elinceda abo banyamekela abanye bahlale benethemba, kwanaxa umntu abamnyamekelayo esifa?
20 Kuye kuthiwe ukunyamekela umzali owalupheleyo “kukudlala ngexesha.” Nangona kusenokwenziwa konke okusemandleni ukunyamekela abakhulileyo, basenokufa, njengokuba wenzayo umama kaMyrna. Kodwa abo bakholose ngoYehova bayazi ukuba ukufa akuyonto yokugqibela. Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Ndinethemba kuThixo . . . lokuba kuza kubakho uvuko kokubini olwamalungisa nabangengomalungisa.” (IZenzo 24:15) Abo baye bafelwa ngabazali bathuthuzelwa lithemba lovuko kunye nedinga lehlabathi elitsha elichwayitisayo elenziwe nguThixo ‘ekungasayi kubakho kufa’ kulo.—ISityhilelo 21:4.
21. Yiyiphi imiphumo emihle eziswa kukubeka abazali abalupheleyo?
21 Abakhonzi bakaThixo babaxabise gqitha abazali babo, kwanaxa bekhulile. (IMizekeliso 23:22-24) Bayababeka. Ngokwenjenjalo, bafumana oko imizekeliso ephefumlelweyo ikutshoyo: “Makavuye uyihlo nonyoko, agcobe umfazi owakuzalayo.” (IMizekeliso 23:25) Yaye ngaphezu kweento zonke, abo babeka abazali babo abalupheleyo bakholisa yaye babeka uYehova uThixo.
[Umbhalo osemazantsi]
a Apha asithethi ngeemeko apho abazali ngokugabadeleyo babesebenzisa kakubi igunya nokuthenjwa kwabo, nto leyo esenokujongwa njengolwaphulo-mthetho.
LE MIGAQO YEBHAYIBHILE INGASINCEDA NJANI . . . SIBEKE ABAZALI BETHU ABALUPHELEYO?
Sifanele sibanike imbuyekezo ebafaneleyo abazali bethu noomakhulu nootatomkhulu bethu.—1 Timoti 5:4.
Yonke imicimbi yethu mayenzeke ngothando.—1 Korinte 16:14.
Izigqibo ezibalulekileyo azifanele zenziwe ngokungxama.—IMizekeliso 14:15.
Abazali abalupheleyo, kwanaxa begula naxa besiya beba buthathaka, bamele bahlonelwe.—Levitikus 19:32.
Asiyi kusoloko silindelwe kukwaluphala nakukufa.—ISityhilelo 21:4.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 179]
Akubobulumko ukwenza izigqibo ngomzali ungakhange uthethe naye kuqala