Ulwalathiso Lobulumko Kubantu Abatshatileyo
“Abafazi mabathobele amadoda abo njengakuyo iNkosi. Madoda, qhubekani nibathanda abafazi benu.”—EFESE 5:22, 25.
1. Yiyiphi imbono echanileyo ngomtshato?
UYESU wathi umtshato kukumanyaniswa kwendoda nomfazi nguThixo ukuze babe “nyama-nye.” (Mateyu 19:5, 6) Oku kuthetha ukuhlanganiswa kwabantu ababini abanobuntu obungafaniyo abafunda ukuthanda izinto ezifanayo nabasebenzisanayo ukufeza injongo enye. Umtshato kukuvumelana kwabantu ababini ukuhlala ndawonye de bahlulwe kukufa, ingekuko ukuhlala nje ixeshana baze bahlukane ngesizathu nje esingenamsebenzi. Kumazwe amaninzi akunzima ukuqhawula umtshato, kodwa kumKristu, umtshato lumanyano olungcwele. Olu manyano lunokuqhawulwa kuphela ngesizathu esinzulu.—Mateyu 19:9.
2. (a) Luluphi uncedo olunokufumaneka kwabo batshatileyo? (b) Kutheni kubalulekile ukuzabalazela ukuwenza umtshato uphumelele?
2 Omnye umcebisi ngemibandela yomtshato wathi: “Umtshato ophumelelayo yinkqubo esoloko iguquka njengoko kuvela iimeko neengxaki ezintsha, kuze kusetyenziswe izinto ezikhoyo kwinqanaba ngalinye lobomi.” KumaKristu atshatileyo, ezo zinto ziquka isiluleko sobulumko esifumaneka eBhayibhileni, ukuxhaswa ngamanye amaKristu, nolwalamano olusondeleyo noYehova olubakho ngokuthandaza kuye. Umtshato ophumeleleyo unyamezela iinzima, yaye emva kwexesha elide, kubakho ulonwabo nolwaneliseko kwindoda nomfazi. Okona kubaluleke nangakumbi kukuba, uzukisa uYehova uThixo, uMyili womtshato.—Genesis 2:18, 21-24; 1 Korinte 10:31; Efese 3:15; 1 Tesalonika 5:17.
Xelisa uYesu Nebandla Lakhe
3. (a) Shwankathela isiluleko sikaPawulos esasisiya kubantu abatshatileyo. (b) UYesu wasimisela wuphi umzekelo omhle?
3 Kwiminyaka engamawaka amabini edluleyo, umpostile uPawulos wanikela isiluleko sobulumko kumaKristu atshatileyo xa wabhala esithi: “Njengoko ibandla limthobela uKristu, ngoko mabenjenjalo nabafazi kumadoda abo kuyo yonk’ into. Madoda, qhubekani nibathanda abafazi benu, kanye njengokuba noKristu walithandayo ibandla waza wazinikela ngenxa yalo.” (Efese 5:24, 25) Apha kusetyenziswe indlela entle gqitha yokuthelekisa izinto. Abafazi abangamaKristu abawathobelayo amadoda abo baxelisa ibandla ngokwamkela nokuthobela ubuntloko. Amadoda akholwayo aqhubeka ebathanda abafazi bawo ebumnandini nasebubini, abonisa ukuba awulandela ngokusondeleyo umzekelo kaKristu wokulithanda ibandla lakhe nokulinyamekela.
4. Amadoda anokuwulandela njani umzekelo kaYesu?
4 Amadoda angamaKristu aziintloko zeentsapho zawo, kodwa nawo anentloko, uYesu. (1 Korinte 11:3) Ngoko ke, kanye njengokuba uYesu walinyamekela ibandla lakhe, namadoda azinyamekela ngothando iintsapho zawo ngokomoya nangokwenyama, enoba oko kuthetha ukuzincama. Abeka impilo-ntle yeentsapho zawo kuqala kuneminqweno yawo. UYesu wathi: “Zonke izinto, ngoko, enifuna abantu bazenze kuni, yenzani ngokunjalo nani kubo.” (Mateyu 7:12) Loo mgaqo usebenza ngamandla emtshatweni. UPawulos wakubonisa oku xa wathi: “Amadoda afanele abathande abafazi bawo njengemizimba yawo. . . . Akukho mntu wakha wayithiya eyakhe inyama; kodwa uyayondla aze ayiphathe ngononophelo.” (Efese 5:28, 29) Indoda ifanele imondle ize imphathe ngononophelo umfazi wayo njengokuba isenza emzimbeni wayo.
5. Abafazi banokulixelisa njani ibandla lamaKristu?
5 Abafazi abahlonel’ uThixo balijonga ibandla lamaKristu njengomzekelo. Xa uYesu wayesemhlabeni, abalandeli bakhe bazishiya lula izinto ababexakeke zizo baza bamlandela. Emva kokufa kwakhe, baqhubeka bezithoba kuye, yaye kwiminyaka enoba ngama-2 000 adlulayo, ibandla lokwenyaniso lamaKristu lisamthobela uYesu yaye lilandela ukhokelo lwakhe kuzo zonke izinto. Abafazi abangamaKristu abawajongeli phantsi amadoda abo okanye baligqale njengento engabalulekanga ilungiselelo leZibhalo lobuntloko emtshatweni. Kunoko, bayawaxhasa baze bawathobele amadoda abo, besebenzisana nawo baze bawakhuthaze. Xa indoda nomfazi bephathana ngothando, umtshato wabo uya kuphumelela yaye bobabini baya konwaba.
Qhubekani Nihlala Nabo
6. UPetros wawaluleka wathini amadoda, yaye kutheni oku kubalulekile?
6 Naye umpostile uPetros wabaluleka abantu abatshatileyo, yaye wathetha amazwi angqalileyo ingakumbi emadodeni. Wathi: “Qhubekani nihlala nabo [abafazi benu] ngokokwazi, nibanika imbeko njengesitya esibuthathaka ngakumbi, esobukhomokazi, ekubeni nikwaziindlalifa kunye nabo zobabalo lobomi, ukuze imithandazo yenu ingathinteleki.” (1 Petros 3:7) Ubunzulu besiluleko sikaPetros bubonwa kumazwi okuqukumbela kuloo ndinyana. Ukuba indoda ayimhloneli umfazi wayo, ayisayi kuba nolwalamano oluhle noYehova. Imithandazo yayo ayisayi kuphulaphulwa.
7. Indoda inokubonisa njani ukuba iyamhlonela umfazi wayo?
7 Ngoko ke, amadoda anokubonisa njani ukuba ayabahlonela abafazi bawo? Ukuhlonela umfazi kuthetha ukumphatha ngothando, ngentlonelo nesidima. Abaninzi abaqhelanga ukumbona umfazi ephathwa ngobubele. Umphengululi ongumGrike uthi: “Umfazi wayengenamalungelo kumthetho waseRoma. Amalungelo akhe ayefana nje nawomntwana. . . . Wayelikhoboka nje lendoda yakhe, yaye wayexhomekeke kuyo ngokupheleleyo.” Oku kwahluke gqitha kwiimfundiso zamaKristu. Indoda engumKristu yayimhlonela umfazi wayo. Yayimphatha ngokuvumelana nemigaqo yobuKristu, kungekhona ngendlela ethanda ngayo. Ngaphezu koko, yayimphatha ngolwazelelelo, “ngokokwazi” iqonda ukuba usisitya esibuthathaka ngakumbi.
‘Isitya Esibuthathaka Ngakumbi’ Ngayiphi Indlela?
8, 9. Abafazi bayalingana namadoda ngaziphi iindlela?
8 Xa uPetros wayesithi umfazi ‘sisitya esibuthathaka ngakumbi,’ wayengathethi kuthi abafazi babuthathaka engqondweni okanye ngokomoya kunamadoda. Lona liyinyaniso elokuba amadoda amaninzi angamaKristu anamalungelo athile ebandleni abangaphuphi nanini na abafazi ngokuwafumana, yaye ekhaya abafazi bafanele bazithobe kubayeni babo. (1 Korinte 14:35; 1 Timoti 2:12) Sekunjalo, kulindeleke ukuba amadoda nabafazi babe nokholo olufanayo, banyamezele baze babe nemigaqo ephakamileyo yokuziphatha efanayo. Yaye njengokuba uPetros watsho, indoda nomfazi ‘baziindlalifa zobabalo lobomi.’ Bobabini banamathuba afanayo okusindiswa nguYehova uThixo. (Galati 3:28) UPetros wayebhalela amaKristu athanjisiweyo enkulungwane yokuqala. Ngenxa yoko, amazwi akhe akhumbuza amadoda angamaKristu ukuba ‘njengeendlalifa ezimanyene noKristu,’ wona nabafazi bawo banethemba elifanayo lokuphila ezulwini. (Roma 8:17) Ngenye imini, amadoda nabafazi baya kuba ngababingeleli nookumkani eBukumkanini bukaThixo basezulwini!—ISityhilelo 5:10.
9 Abafazi abangamaKristu athanjisiweyo babengekho kumgangatho ophantsi kubayeni babo abangamaKristu athanjisiweyo. Ngendlela efanayo, oko kunjalo nakwabo banethemba lokuphila emhlabeni. Amadoda nabafazi ‘besihlwele esikhulu’ bahlamba izambatho zabo yaye bazenza mhlophe egazini leMvana. Amadoda nabafazi badumisa uYehova ehlabathini lonke “imini nobusuku.” (ISityhilelo 7:9, 10, 14, 15) Amadoda nabafazi bakhangele phambili ekuzuzeni ‘inkululeko ezukileyo yabantwana bakaThixo,’ xa beya kuvuyela ukufumana “ubomi benene.” (Roma 8:21; 1 Timoti 6:19) Enoba angabathanjiswa okanye ezinye izimvu, onke amaKristu akhonza uYehova kunye ‘njengomhlambi omnye’ phantsi ‘komalusi omnye.’ (Yohane 10:16) Esi sisizathu esinamandla sokuba indoda nomfazi ongumKristu babonakalise intlonelo omnye komnye.
10. Amabhinqa ‘azizitya ezibuthathaka ngakumbi’ ngayiphi ingqiqo?
10 Ngoko ke, abafazi ‘bazizitya ezibuthathaka ngakumbi’ ngayiphi indlela? Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uPetros wayethetha ukuba ngokuqhelekileyo abafazi bancinane yaye abanamandla angaphezu kwawamadoda. Ukongezelela, ngenxa yokungafezeki, ilungelo elikhulu lokuzala lisenokuyenza buthathaka impilo yabafazi. Amabhinqa amadala ngokwaneleyo ukuba anganabantwana rhoqo asenokujamelana nobunzima obuthile empilweni yawo. Afanele aphathwe ngobunono nangolwazelelelo xa ekwimeko enjalo okanye ejamelene neenzima zokukhulelwa nokubeleka. Indoda emhlonelayo umfazi wayo, eqondayo ukuba ifanele imxhase, iya kwenza lukhulu ekuphumeleleni komtshato wayo.
Xa Indoda Nomfazi Bekunqulo Olwahlukahlukeneyo
11. Umtshato unokuphumelela ngayiphi ingqiqo enoba indoda nomfazi bangamalungu eenkonzo ezahlukahlukeneyo?
11 Noko ke, kuthekani ukuba abantu abatshatileyo baneenkolelo ezahlukahlukeneyo zonqulo, ngenxa yokuba omnye wabo wamkela inyaniso emva kokuba betshatile yaye omnye akayamkela? Ngaba loo mtshato unokuphumelela? Okwenzeke kwabanye kubonisa ukuba loo mitshato iye yaphumelela. Indoda nomfazi abaneembono ezahlukahlukeneyo zonqulo basenokuba nomtshato ophumelelayo ngengqiqo yokuba banokunyamezelana baze bonwabe. Ngapha koko, aba bantu basatshatile emehlweni kaYehova; yaye ‘basenyama-nye.’ Ngoko ke, amadoda nabafazi abangamaKristu balulekwa ukuba bahlale namaqabane abo omtshato angakholwayo ukuba wona ayavuma. Ukuba banabantwana, abo bantwana bayazuza ngokuthembeka komzali ongumKristu.—1 Korinte 7:12-14.
12, 13. Ngokutsho kwesiluleko sikaPetros, abafazi abangamaKristu banokuwanceda njani amadoda abo angakholwayo?
12 UPetros unikela isiluleko sobubele kubafazi abangamaKristu abanabayeni abangamalungu ezinye iinkonzo. Amazwi akhe anokusebenza nakumadoda angamaKristu akwimeko efanayo. UPetros uthi: “Nina bafazi, wathobeleni amadoda enu, ukuze kuthi, nokuba kukho kuwo angalithobeliyo ilizwi, azuzeke ngaphandle kwelizwi ngenxa yehambo yabafazi bawo, kuba eye angamangqina okuzibonela ehambo yenu enyulu ndawonye nentlonelo enzulu.”—1 Petros 3:1, 2.
13 Ukuba umfazi uyakwazi ukumchazela ngobuchule umyeni wakhe ngonqulo lwakhe, kuhle oko. Kodwa, kuthekani ukuba indoda ayifuni kuphulaphula? Inelungelo lokwenjenjalo. Phofu ke, oko akuthethi kuthi akukho nto inokwenziwa, ekubeni ihambo yobuKristu nayo ishumayela nje ngokwayo. Amadoda amaninzi awayengenamdla okanye nawayeluchasile unqulo lwabafazi bawo aba “notyekelo olufanelekileyo ngobomi obungunaphakade” emva kokubona indlela entle abaziphatha ngayo abafazi bawo. (IZenzo 13:48) Enoba indoda ayiyamkeli inyaniso, isenokuyithanda indlela aziphethe ngayo umfazi wayo, nto leyo enokuba negalelo elihle emtshatweni. Enye indoda enomfazi oliNgqina likaYehova yavuma ukuba ayikwazi ukuphila ngemigaqo ephakame njengeyamaNgqina. Sekunjalo, yayizichaza ‘njengendoda eyonwabileyo yomfazi othandekayo’ yaye kwileta eyayibhalela iphephandaba yayincoma umfazi wayo namanye amaNgqina.
14. Amadoda anokubanceda njani abafazi bawo abangakholwayo?
14 Amadoda angamaKristu aye asebenzisa imigaqo efumaneka kumazwi kaPetros aye abazuza abafazi bawo ngendlela aziphatha ngayo. Abafazi abangakholwayo baye bawabona amadoda abo esiba ngabayeni abalungileyo, angasachith’ imali ngokutshaya, ukusela, nokungcakaza nangasathukiyo. Amanye ala maqabane aye aqhelana namalungu ebandla lamaKristu. Aye achukumiseka gqitha xa ephawula uthando olubonakala phakathi kwabazalwana abangamaKristu, yaye oko aye akuphawula kuye kwawasondeza kuYehova.—Yohane 13:34, 35.
‘Umntu Ofihlakeleyo Wentliziyo’
15, 16. Umfazi ongumKristu unokuziphatha njani ngendlela esenokubangela ukuba umyeni wakhe abe likholwa?
15 Yiyiphi indlela yokuziphatha enokunceda umyeni kabani abe likholwa? Enyanisweni, yindlela ngokuqhelekileyo abafazi abangamaKristu aziphatha ngayo. UPetros uthi: “Ukuhomba kwenu makungabi kokokulukwa kwangaphandle kweenwele nokokufakwa kwezihombo zegolide okanye ukunxitywa kwezambatho zangaphezulu, kodwa makube kokomntu ofihlakeleyo wentliziyo ofake isivatho esingenakonakala somoya ozolileyo nowobulali, oxabiso likhulu emehlweni kaThixo. Kuba babesenjenjalo ukuhomba abafazi abangcwele ababethembele kuThixo, bezithoba kumadoda abo, njengoko uSara wayemthobela uAbraham, embiza ngokuthi ‘nkosi.’ Ningabantwana bakhe ke nina, ukuba nihlala nisenza okulungileyo kwaye ningoyiki nayiphi na into enkwantyisayo.”—1 Petros 3:3-6.
16 UPetros ululeka umfazi ongumKristu ukuba angathembeli kwimbonakalo yangaphandle. Kunoko, umyeni wakhe makaphawule oko kubangelwa yimfundiso yeBhayibhile kumntu wakhe wangaphakathi. Makabone ukusebenza komntu omtsha. Mhlawumbi usenokumthelekisa nendlela awayeyiyo umfazi wakhe ngaphambili. (Efese 4:22-24) Ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuwufumanisa uhlaziya yaye unomtsalane ‘umoya ozolileyo nowobulali’ anawo. Umoya onjalo ayiwuvuyeli nje kuphela indoda yakhe kodwa ‘unexabiso elikhulu emehlweni kaThixo.’—Kolose 3:12.
17. USara ungumzekelo omhle njani kubafazi abangamaKristu?
17 Kuthethwa ngoSara njengomzekelo, yaye abafazi abangamaKristu bafanele bamxelise enoba abayeni babo bangamakholwa okanye akunjalo. Alithandabuzeki elokuba uSara wayemgqala uAbraham njengentloko. Kwanasentliziyweni yakhe, wayembiza ngokuthi “nkosi.” (Genesis 18:12) Noko ke, oku akuzange kumthob’ isidima. Ngokucacileyo wayengumfazi owomeleleyo ngokomoya enokholo oluqinileyo kuYehova. Ngokuqinisekileyo, uyinxalenye ‘yelifu elikhulu lamangqina’ ofanele umzekelo walo wokholo usenze “silubaleke ngonyamezelo ugqatso olubekwe phambi kwethu.” (Hebhere 11:11; 12:1) Akumthobi sidima umfazi ongumKristu xa efaniswa noSara.
18. Yiyiphi imigaqo efanele ikhunjulwe xa indoda nomfazi bengengomalungu onqulo olunye?
18 Naxa indoda nomfazi bengamalungu eenkonzo ezahlukahlukeneyo, indoda iseyintloko yomfazi wayo. Ukuba indoda isenyanisweni, ayisayi kuzijongela phantsi iinkolelo zomfazi wayo ngoxa ingalalanisi kwiinkolelo zayo. Ukuba umfazi ungumKristu, naye akasayi kulalanisa kwiinkolelo zakhe. (IZenzo 5:29) Sekunjalo, akasayi kubujongela phantsi ubuntloko bomyeni wakhe. Uya kusihlonela isikhundla sakhe aze ahlale engaphantsi ‘komthetho wendoda yakhe.’—Roma 7:2.
Ulwalathiso Lobulumko LweBhayibhile
19. Ziziphi ezinye zeengxaki ezibangela ubunzima emtshatweni, yaye zinokusingathwa njani ezo ngxaki?
19 Namhlanje, zininzi izinto ezinokonakalisa ulwalamano lwentsapho. Amanye amadoda akaziphumezi kakuhle iimbopheleleko zawo. Abanye abafazi ababuthobeli ubuntloko bamadoda abo. Kweminye imitshato, elinye iqabane lixhatshazwa lelinye. Ngapha koko, ubunzima bezoqoqosho, ukungafezeki nomoya wehlabathi okhuthaza ukuziphatha okubi nokugqwethwa kwemilinganiselo yokuziphatha, ezi zinto zisenokukuvavanya ukuthembeka kwamaKristu. Sekunjalo, amadoda nabafazi abangamaKristu abathobela imigaqo yeBhayibhile, enoba iimeko zinjani na, bayasikelelwa nguYehova. Enoba mnye nje kuphela kubo ophila ngemigaqo yeBhayibhile, kuba bhetele gqitha kunokuba kungabikho namnye. Ngapha koko, uYehova uyabathanda yaye uyabaxhasa abakhonzi bakhe abahlala bethembekile kwizifungo abazenzayo zomtshato naxa iimeko zinzima. Akakulibali ukuthembeka kwabo.—INdumiso 18:25; Hebhere 6:10; 1 Petros 3:12.
20. UPetros uwaluleka esithini onke amaKristu?
20 Emva kokululeka amadoda nabafazi abatshatileyo, umpostile uPetros waqukumbela ngamazwi amnandi nalukhuthazo. Wathi: “Okokugqibela, cingani nto-nye nonke, nivelane, ninomsa wobuzalwana, nemfesane, nithobekile engqondweni, ningabuyiseli ububi ngobubi okanye ukutshabhisa ngokutshabhisa, kodwa, kunoko, sikelelani, kuba nabizelwa oko, ukuze niyidle ilifa intsikelelo.” (1 Petros 3:8, 9) Esi sisiluleko sobulumko kuthi sonke, ingakumbi ukuba sitshatile.
Ngaba Usakhumbula?
• Amadoda angamaKristu amxelisa njani uYesu?
• Abafazi abangamaKristu balixelisa njani ibandla?
• Amadoda anokubonisa njani ukuba ayabahlonela abafazi bawo?
• Liliphi ikhondo umfazi ongumKristu afanele alilandele ukuba indoda yakhe ayikholwa?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 16]
Indoda engumKristu iyamthanda yaye iyamnyamekela umfazi wayo
Umfazi ongumKristu uyayihlonela indoda yakhe
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 17]
Ngokungafaniyo nomthetho wamaRoma, iimfundiso zamaKristu zikhuthaza indoda ukuba imhlonele umfazi wayo
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 18]
Amadoda nabafazi ‘besihlwele esikhulu’ bakhangele phambili kubomi obungunaphakade eParadesi
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 20]
USara wayemgqala uAbraham njengenkosi yakhe