Umtshato Ufanele Ube Lumanyano Olungapheliyo

NGOKWEMBONO yemifanekiso eshukumayo emininzi, umtshato lusukelo olunqwenelekayo. Ngokufuthi, indoda nebhinqa ekugqibeleni baba kunye, bayatshata, baze bahlale “ngolonwabo olungapheliyo emva koko.” Kwimifanekiso eshukumayo, iphelela apho yonke into.

Enyanisweni, umtshato awupheleli apho, kodwa usisiqalo nje sobomi obutsha nikunye. Yaye siyathemba ukuba, njengoko INtshumayeli 7:8 isitsho, “kulunge ngakumbi ukuphela kombandela kunokuqalwa kwawo.”

Umanyano Olungapheliyo

Izinto zifanele zijongwe banzi. Umtshato ufanele ube nesiseko esomeleleyo ukuze uhlale uhleli uze wanelise. Ngapha koko, uxinezeleko lwasemva komsitho womtshato lunokuba lukhulu kunolwangaphambili. UmKristu akanakungenelela umtshato ecinga ukuba: ‘Ukuba awuphumeleli, ndakusuka ndiwuqhawule.’ Umtshato ufanele ujongwe njengomanyano olungapheliyo.

UYesu wayenza yacaca into yokuba umtshato ufanele ungapheli xa wayephendula umbuzo owabuzwa kuye ngokufaneleka koqhawulo-mtshato. Wathi: “Anizange nifunde na ukuba [uThixo] lowo wabadalayo ukususela ekuqaleni wabenza baba yindoda nebhinqa waza wathi, ‘Ngenxa yesi sizathu indoda iya kumshiya uyise nonina ize inamathele emfazini wayo, baze abo babini babe nyama-nye’? Ngako oko abasebabini, kodwa banyama-nye. Ngoko ke, oko uThixo akubophelele ngedyokhwe ndawonye makungahlukaniswa mntu.”—Mateyu 19:4-6.

Emva Komhla Womsitho Womtshato

Ngokufanelekileyo kuye kwathiwa ebomini bomKristu, umtshato ukwindawo yesibini ngokubaluleka ekuzinikeleni kwakhe kuThixo. Le ikhankanywe mva ibophelela umntu kuMdali ngonaphakade, yaye ngokubhaptizwa ubonisa oko esidlangalaleni. Umtshato yimbonakaliso yasesidlangalaleni yokuzibophelela komnye umntu—ngonaphakade. Akukho ngqiqweni ukuzinikela kuThixo okanye wakhe umanyano lomtshato ngoxa ujonge ngasemva. Ngoko abo bacinga ngomtshato benza kakuhle ukuhlolisisa ngenyameko iinkolelo, usukelo, nesimo sengqondo salowo uza kuba liqabane.

Xa kulungiselelwa umsitho womtshato, ububele, ukucingela nomoya wentsebenziswano, zizinto ezibalulekileyo. Ezo mpawu zibalulekile nasemva koko ukwenza umtshato uphumelele. Aba basandul’ ukutshata bayathandana, kodwa emva komtshato bafanele bakhumbule ukuba mihla le, uthando “alufuni ezalo izilangazelelo.” Xa lubonakaliswa ngokuqhubekayo minyaka le, “uthando aluze lutshitshe.” (1 Korinte 13:5, 8) Xa zikhatshwa luthando, iimpawu ezifana nokuzeka kade umsindo, ububele, ukulunga ubulali, nokuzeyisa—isiqhamo somoya kaThixo—kuya kuba lula ukuzibonisa. Ezi mpawu ziyimfuneko ukuze umtshato uphumelele.—Galati 5:22, 23.

Eyona nto inzima kukuqhubeka ubonisa ezi mpawu emva komhla womsitho womtshato. Noko ke, imfihlelo yokuphumelela ekuboniseni ezi mpawu zintle nantsi: Mthande umntu otshate naye, uze ukulungele ukuncama izinto.

UYesu wathi owona myalelo mkhulu ebantwini kukuthanda uYehova, waza wathi olandela emva kwawo ngulo, “Mthande ummelwane wakho njengawe siqu.” (Mateyu 22:39) Oyena mmelwane usondeleyo womntu otshatileyo liqabane lakhe lomtshato, kuba ayikho emhlabeni into enokumanyanisa abantu ababini njengomtshato.

Noko ke, ulwalamano nje lomzimba aluqinisekisi imvisiswano engokweemvakalelo. Ukumanyana kwemizimba emibini akusoloko kumanyanisa iingqondo ezimbini. Ukuze umanyano ngokwesini lubangele uyolo olukhulu, kukwafanele kubekho olunye umanyano—ukumanyana kweentliziyo neentshukumisa. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ukuncamela omnye umntu izinto kuyinto efanele yenziwe ukuze umtshato uphumelele. Ngubani ofanele ancame? Yindoda? Ngumfazi?

Ukubonisa Uthando Nembeko

ILizwi likaThixo linikela lo myalelo: “Ekuboniseni imbeko omnye komnye khokelani.” (Roma 12:10) Ukuba kunokwenzeka, zincame ngaphambi kokuba iqabane lakho liyicele loo nto. Ngapha koko, into efunyanwa emva kwezicelo ezininzi iphelelwa lixabiso. Kunoko qabane ngalinye emtshatweni lifanele lihlakulele umkhwa wokuthabatha inyathelo lokuqala ekuboniseni imbeko kwelinye.

Ngokomzekelo, amadoda ayalelwa ukuba ‘amnike imbeko umfazi njengesitya esibuthathaka ngakumbi, esobukhomokazi, ukuze imithandazo yawo ingathinteleki.’ (1 Petros 3:7) Ukuba indoda ayimniki mbeko umfazi wayo, kwanemithandazo yayo kuThixo iya kuthinteleka gqitha. Noko ke yintoni ethethwa kukubeka umfazi? Kuthetha ukumcingela ngawo onke amaxesha, ukuphulaphula izimvo zakhe, ukumnika ukhetho lokuqala kwiinkalo ezahlukeneyo amaxesha amaninzi. Nomfazi unokubeka indoda ngendlela efanayo, ngokusebenzela ukuba ngumncedi onentsebenziswano.—Genesis 21:12; IMizekeliso 31:10-31.

ILizwi likaThixo lithi: “Amadoda afanele abathande abafazi bawo njengemizimba yawo. Lowo umthandayo umfazi wakhe uyazithanda, kuba akukho mntu wakha wayithiya eyakhe inyama; kodwa uyayondla aze ayiphathe ngononophelo, njengoko noKristu esenjenjalo kulo ibandla.” Wayebathanda kangakanani uKristu abalandeli bakhe? Wayekulungele ukubafela. Kwakhona iBhayibhile ithi: “Ngamnye wenu [madoda] makamthande umfazi wakhe njengoko ezithanda.” (Efese 5:28-33) Yaye iLizwi likaThixo lixelela abafazi ukuba “bathande amadoda abo, . . . bazithobe kumadoda abo, ukuze ilizwi likaThixo lingatshabhiswa.”—Tito 2:4, 5.

Zinyamezele Iimpazamo

Ekubeni bonke abantu bezalwa bengafezekanga, baya kuzenza iimpazamo. (Roma 3:23; 5:12; 1 Yohane 1:8-10) Kunokuzenza zibonakale zinkulu ezi mpazamo, thobela esi siluleko seBhayibhile: “Ngaphezu kwezinto zonke, yibani nothando olunzulu omnye ngomnye, kuba uthando lugubungela inkitha yezono.” (1 Petros 4:8) Iimpazamo ezincinane uzisingatha kakuhle ngokuzibekela bucala, zibe ngathi azenzekanga. Unokwenza njalo nakwezinye ezinkulu. EyabaseKolose 3:12-14 ithi: “Yambathani umsa wemfesane, ububele, ukuthobeka kwengqondo, ubulali, nokuzeka kade umsindo. Qhubekani ninyamezelana yaye nixolelana ngesisa ukuba nabani na unesizathu sokukhalazela omnye. Kanye njengoko uYehova wanixolela ngesisa, yenzani njalo nani. Ke, phezu kwazo zonke ezi zinto, yambathani uthando, kuba lungumxokelelwane ogqibeleleyo womanyano.”

Sifanele sizixolele ngokufuthi kangakanani iimpazamo neziphoso eziqhelekileyo zeqabane lomtshato? UPetros wambuza oku uYesu: “‘Nkosi, zingaphi izihlandlo umzalwana wam amele andone ngazo ndize ndimxolele? Ukusa kwizihlandlo ezisixhenxe na?’ UYesu wathi kuye: ‘Ndithi kuwe, kungekhona, Ukusa kwizihlandlo ezisixhenxe, kodwa, Ukusa kwizihlandlo ezingamashumi asixhenxe anesixhenxe.’” (Mateyu 18:21, 22) Ekubeni uYesu apha wayethetha ngabo bangekho kumanyano lomtshato, kubekele phi ke ukuba yimfuneko ukuxolelana phakathi kwamaqabane omtshato!

Nangona ilungiselelo lomtshato liye lahlaselwa kwiminyaka yakutshanje, ekuhambeni kwexesha, umtshato uya kuphumelela ngenxa yokuba wamiselwa nguThixo kwaye yonke into ayimiselayo “ilunge gqitha.” (Genesis 1:31) Awusayi kuphelelwa lixesha. Yaye unokuphumelela ingakumbi kwabo bahlonela baze babambelele kwimiyalelo kaThixo. Kodwa nalu ucelomngeni: Ngaba aba babini baya kubambelela kwisithembiso abasenza ngomhla womsitho womtshato wokuthanda nokugcina omnye? Ngokwenene olo lucelomngeni, yaye kusenokufuneka wenze unako nako wokuphumelela. Kodwa akusayi kuzisola ngokwenza oko!

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UKUQHAWULA UMTSHATO NOKWAHLUKANA

UThixo, uMsunguli womtshato, wawuseka ukuba ube lumanyano olungapheliyo. Kodwa ngaba sikho isizathu esingokweZibhalo sokuba umntu aqhawule umtshato neqabane lakhe—nokuba aphinde akwazi ukutshata? UYesu wathi xa wayethetha ngalo mba: “Ndithi kuni nabani na oqhawula umtshato nomfazi wakhe, ngaphandle kwangesizathu sohenyuzo, aze atshate nomnye uyakrexeza.” (Mateyu 19:9) Ukuziphatha kakubi ngokwesini kuphela kwesizathu sokuqhawula umtshato esiya kwenza kuvumeleke ngeqabane elimsulwa ukuphinda litshate.

Ukongezelela, amazwi eBhayibhile akweyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 7:10-16, ngoxa ekhuthaza amaqabane omtshato ukuba ahlale kunye, ayakuvumela ukwahlukana. Abanye emva kokuzama nzima ukulondoloza umtshato wabo, baye bavakalelwa kukuba abanakwenza ngakumbi ngaphandle kokuba bahlukane. Ziziphi izizathu ezamkelekileyo ngokweZibhalo zokuthabatha elo nyathelo?

Esinye kukunganikeli inkxaso ngabom. Xa itshata indoda yamkela imbopheleleko yokuxhasa umfazi nabantwana bayo. Indoda ethi ngabom inganikeli nkxaso ngezinto eziphathekayo zobomi ‘ilukhanyele ukholo yaye imbi ngaphezu kongakholwayo.’ (1 Timoti 5:8) Ngoko kusenokwahlukwana.

Esinye kukuxhaphaza ngokugqithiseleyo emzimbeni. Ngoko ukuba iqabane lixhaphaza umfazi walo, ixhoba linokwahlukana nalo. (Galati 5:19-21; Tito 1:7) “Umphefumlo [kaThixo] umthiyile ngokuqinisekileyo nabani na othanda ugonyamelo.”—INdumiso 11:5.

Esinye isizathu sokwahlukana kukuba sengozini kwemeko yokomoya yokholwayo—ulwalamano lwakhe noThixo. Xa inkcaso yeqabane, kuquka nokulithintela ngokoqobo, kusenza kube nzima ukuqhubeka nonqulo oluyinyaniso yaye kuphazamisana nemeko yokomoya yalowo ukholwayo, amanye amakholwa aye akubona kuyimfuneko ukwahlukana.a—Mateyu 22:37; IZenzo 5:27-32.

Noko ke, ukuba ubani uye waqhawula umtshato phantsi kwezo meko, akayi kukhululeka ukuba angenelele omnye umtshato. Ngokutsho kweBhayibhile, ekuphela kwesizathu esisemthethweni sokuqhawula umtshato aze aphinde umntu atshate lukrexezo okanye ‘uhenyuzo.’—Mateyu 5:32.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

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Umtshato ufanele ujongwe njengelungiselelo elingapheliyo

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UYesu wathi sifanele sixolele “izihlandlo ezingamashumi asixhenxe anesixhenxe”