Yintoni Endifanele Ndiyazi Ngokuxhatshazwa Ngokwesondo?—Inxalenye 1: Izilumkiso

Kukuthini ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo?

Nangona indlela okuchazwa ngayo oku kusahluka ngokweendawo ngeendawo, ngokuqhelekileyo ibinzana elithi ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo linokubhekisela ekuphathweni kwamalungu omzimba afihlakeleyo. Maxa wambi oku kwenziwa omnye engafuni. Kusenokuquka izinto ezinjengokuxhaphaza abantwana, ukwabelana ngesondo kwabantu abazalanayo, ukudlwengulwa ngumntu omthembileyo mhlawumbi ugqirha, utitshala okanye ilungu lecawa. Amanye amaxhoba oku, aye agrogriswe ngokwenzakaliswa ukuba anokuchaza.

Kuphando olwenziwa nyaka ngamnye eMerika, kufumaniseke ukuba abantu abaphantse babe yi-250 000 baxhatshazwa ngokwesondo. Isiqingatha sabo siphakathi kweminyaka eyi-12 neyi-18.

Ofanele ukwazi

• IBhayibhile iyakwalela ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo. Malunga neminyaka eyi-4 000 eyadlulayo, iBhayibhile isichazela ngeqela labantu elalithe tii sisini elalifuna ukudlwengula amadoda amabini ayehambele kwisixeko saseSodom. Yiloo nto uYehova wafuna ukutshabalalisa eso sixeko. (Genesis 19:4-13) Ukongezelela, uMthetho owanikwa uMoses kangangeminyaka emalunga neyi-3 500 eyadlulayo, uyakwalela ukwabelana ngesondo kwabantu abazalanayo, kuquka nokuxhatshazwa ngesondo kwelungu lentsapho.—Levitikus 18:6.

• Amaxesha amaninzi uye aziwe umntu oxhaphazayo. Incwadi ethi Talking Sex With Your Kids ithi: “Kubantu abathathu abadlwenguliweyo, ababini kubo bayamazi umntu owenze loo nto. Oko kubonisa ukuba amaxesha amaninzi umntu oxhaphazayo iba ngumntu owaziwayo.”

• Kuxhatshazwa amadoda namabhinqa. EMerika, ayi-10 pesenti amadoda axhatshazwayo. Ngokutsho kwekomiti ejongene nokuxhatshazwa ebizwa ngokuba yiRape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), la madoda axhatshazwayo “anokoyika ukuba aza kujika athandane namanye amadoda okanye aziva engento yanto.”

• Akumele kukothuse oku. IBhayibhile yaprofeta yathi “ngemihla yokugqibela” abantu abaninzi ‘babengazi kuba nawo umsa wemvelo’ baza kuba ‘ziindlobongela’ baze bangakwazi ‘ukuzeyisa.’ (2 Timoti 3:1-3) Le mikhwa ibonakala kubantu abaxhaphaza abanye.

• Musa ukuzibek’ ityala xa uxhatshazwa. Akukho mntu ufanele axhatshazwe. Oyena mntu ufanele abekwe ityala ngulo uxhaphazayo. Sekunjalo, nawe ufanele ungazibeki esichengeni sokuxhatshazwa.

Into onokuyenza

• Zilungiselele. Yazi kwangaphambili into oza kuyenza ukuba umntu othandana naye okanye isalamane sizama ukukuphembelela ukuba nabelane ngesondo. Ibhinqa eliselula elinguErin lincomela ukuba uyazi kwangaphambili indlela oza kuphendula ngayo. Uthi: “Ingangathi yinto engenamsebenzi kodwa kungakunceda ukuyazi.”

  IBhayibhile ithi: “Hlalani nikuphaphele ngokungqongqo ukuba indlela enihamba ngayo ingabi njengeyabantu abangezozilumko, . . . ngenxa yokuba imihla ingendawo.”—Efese 5:15, 16.

  Zibuze: ‘Yintoni endinokuyenza ukuba umntu undibamba ngendlela endenza ndingakhululeki?’

• Yiba nendlela yokuphuma. Ikomiti ebesikhe sathetha ngayo kweli nqaku i-RAINN incomela ukuba “kubekho uphawu olwaziwa nguwe, abahlobo okanye intsapho yakho kuphela. Olu phawu uza kuluthumela kubo xa ukunye nomntu ube uziva ungakhululekanga. Abahlobo okanye intsapho yakho inokuza ize ikulande okanye ichaze isizathu sokuba kufuneke uhambe.” Kuphephe ukuba kwiindawo eziza kukubeka esichengeni.

  IBhayibhile ithi: “Onobuqili ubona intlekele azifihle, kodwa abangenamava bayadlula baze bafumane isohlwayo.”—IMizekeliso 22:3.

  Zibuze: ‘Ngaba ndinayo indlela yokuzikhupha kule meko?’

  

• Zibekele imida uze unamathele kuyo. Ngokomzekelo, xa uthandana, wena neqabane lakho nifanele nithethe ngezinto eniza kuzenza neningazi kuzenza. Ukuba lo mntu uthandana naye uyijonga loo nto njengento engenamsebenzi, khumbula ukuba ufanelwe ngumntu oza kuyihlonela imilinganiselo yakho.

  IBhayibhile ithi: “Uthando . . . aluziphathi ngokungandilisekanga, alufuni ezalo izilangazelelo.”—1 Korinte 13:4, 5.

  Zibuze: ‘Yiyiphi imilinganiselo endizibekele yona? Yiyiphi imilinganiselo engafanelekanga?’