Ngaba Ngokwenene Kuyafuneka Ucele Uxolo?

UGEORGE BERNARD SHAW, wabhala wathi: ‘Andizange ndalucela uxolo.’ Abanye basenokuthi: ‘Okwenzekileyo kwenzekile.’

Mhlawumbi nathi siba madolw’ anzima ukuvuma impazamo kuba sisoyika ukuhlazeka. Mhlawumbi sizithethelela ngokutyhola omnye umntu ngempazamo leyo. Okanye sisenokufuna ukucela uxolo kodwa sikubekel’ amangomso de ekugqibeleni sicinge ukuba lo mbandela walityalwa.

Ngoko ngaba, kuyinto efunekayo ukucela uxolo? Ngaba ngokwenene kunganento okuyiphumezayo?

Uthando Luyasinyanzela Ukuba Sicele Uxolo

Uthando lobuzalwana luphawu olwahlula abalandeli bokwenyaniso bakaYesu Kristu. Wathi: “Ngako oku bonke baya kwazi ukuba ningabafundi bam, ukuba ninothando phakathi kwenu.” (Yohane 13:35) IZibhalo zibongoza amaKristu ukuba ‘athandane kakhulu ngokusuka entliziyweni.’ (1 Petros 1:22) Uthando olunyamekileyo lusinyanzela ukuba silucele uxolo. Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba ukungafezeki kwabantu ngokungaphephekiyo kubangela ukwenzakalisana ngokweemvakalelo nto leyo ebangela kungabikho luthando ukuba oko akulungiswa.

Ngokomzekelo, ngenxa yokuba singavisisani nomntu othile okwibandla lamaKristu, sisenokukhetha ukungathethi naye. Ukuba simkhubekisile othile, sinokulubuyisela njani ulwalamano lothando? Kwiimeko ezininzi, ngokucela uxolo size senze umgudu wokuncokola ngobubele. Sinetyala lothando kwabo sikholwa kunye nabo, yaye ukuba sicela uxolo xa sibakhubekisile, sihlawula inxalenye yelo tyala.—Roma 13:8.

Ukuzekelisa: UMari Carmen noPaqui ngamabhinqa amabini angamaKristu ayengabahlobo ithuba elide. Noko ke, ngenxa yokuba uMari Carmen wakholelwa kwintlebendwane ethile eyenzakalisayo, ubuhlobo bakhe noPaqui baphela. Engayibekanga elubala ingxaki, wamphepha ngokupheleleyo uPaqui. Malunga nonyaka emva koko, uMari Carmen wafumanisa ukuba loo ntlebendwane yayibubuxoki. Wasabela njani? Uthando lwamshukumisela ukuba aye kuPaqui aze ngokuzithoba abonakalise ukuzisola ngokusabela kakubi ngolo hlobo. Bobabini bagixa yaye ukususela ngoko baba ngabahlobo abasenyongweni.

Nangona sisenokuvakalelwa kukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo siyenzileyo, ukucela uxolo kunokucombulula ukungaqondan’ okuthile. UManuel ukhumbula oku: “Kwiminyaka emininzi eyadlulayo mna nomfazi wam sasihlala kwikhaya lomnye woodade wethu bokomoya ngoxa wayesesibhedlele. Senza konke okwakusemandleni ethu ukunceda yena nabantwana bakhe ngoxa wayegula. Kodwa emva kokubuyela kwakhe ekhaya, wakhalaza kumhlobo wakhe ukuba sasingazihlawulanga ngendlela efanelekileyo iindleko zendlu.

“Samtyelela saza samcacisela ukuba mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba siselula yaye singekabi namava, asizinyamekelanga izinto ngendlela yena ebezakwenza ngayo izinto. Kwangoko waphendula wathi nguye owayenetyala kuthi yaye wakubulela ngokunyaniseka konke oko sasimenzele kona. Ingxaki yacombululeka. Loo mava andifundisa ukubaluleka kokuzithoba ucele uxolo xa kukho ukungaqondani okuthile.”

UYehova wasisikelela esi sibini ngokubonakalisa uthando ‘nokusukela izinto ezisingisa eluxolweni.’ (Roma 14:19) Uthando lukwabandakanya ukuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye. UPetros usiluleka ukuba sibonakalise “imvakalelo yobudlelane.” (1 Petros 3:8) Ukuba sinemvakalelo yobudlelane, sisenokuyiqonda ngakumbi intlungu esiyenzileyo yokungabonakalisi nkxalabo ngoko sikuthethayo okanye sikwenzayo yaye siya kuziva sinyanzelekile ukuba sicele uxolo.

“Bhinqani Ukuthobeka Kwengqondo Omnye Ngakomnye”

Kwanabadala abangamaKristu athembekileyo ngezinye izihlandlo basenokuthethisana ngamazwi abukhali. (Thelekisa IZenzo 15:37-39.) Ezi zizihlandlo zaxa ukucela uxolo kunokuba yingenelo gqitha. Kodwa yintoni eya kunceda umdala okanye nawuphi na umKristu ongomnye okufumanisa kunzima ukucela uxolo?

Undoqo kukuthobeka. Umpostile uPetros waluleka wathi: “Bhinqani ukuthobeka kwengqondo omnye komnye.” (1 Petros 5:5) Nangona enyanisweni kwinkoliso yeengxabano bobabini abantu ababandakanyekileyo bebekek’ ityala, umKristu othobekileyo uxhalabela ezakhe iimpazamo yaye ukulungele ukuzivuma.—IMizekeliso 6:1-5.

Nalowo kucelwa uxolo kuye ufanele alwamkele ngokuthobekileyo. Ngokomzekelo, masithi abantu ababini abafuna ukuncokola bame kwiinkcochoyi zeentaba ezimbini ezahlukeneyo. Kubonakala kunzima ukuncokola ngenxa yomwonyo ophakathi kwabo. Noko ke, xa omnye wabo esehlela kwintlambo engezantsi aze nomnye amhlangabeze, banokuncokola ngokulula. Ngokufanayo, ukuba amaKristu amabini afuna ukucombulula ingxaki ephakathi kwawo, ngokungathi kunjalo, ngamnye kuwo makazithobe, ahlangabeze omnye entlanjeni, yaye acele uxolo ngendlela efanelekileyo.—1 Petros 5:6.

Ukucela Uxolo Kuthetha Lukhulu Emtshatweni

Umtshato wabantu ababini abangafezekanga ngokuqinisekileyo unikela amathuba okucela uxolo. Yaye ukuba bobabini indoda nomfazi banovelwano omnye komnye, oko kuya kubaqhubela ekubeni bacele uxolo ukuba kunokwenzeka bathethe okanye benze ngokungacingelani. IMizekeliso 12:18 ithi: “Kukho ophololoza njengokuhlaba kwekrele; ke lona ulwimi lwezilumko luyaphilisa.” ‘Ukuphololoza okuhlabayo’ akunakuguqulwa, kodwa kunokuzinziswa ngokucela uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo. Kakade ke, oku kufuna ukuqonda okuzingisileyo nomgudu.

Ethetha ngomtshato wakhe, uSusana uthi: “Mna noJack* sineminyaka engama-24 sitshatile, kodwa omnye usafunda izinto ezintsha ngomnye. Okulusizi kukuba, ngenye imini kudala, sahlukana saza asahlala kunye iiveki ezimbalwa. Noko ke, sasiphulaphula isiluleko seZibhalo esasinikwa ngabadala saza sabuyelana kwakhona. Ngoku siyaqonda ukuba ekubeni sinobuntu obahlukeneyo, kusenobakho ukungavisisani. Xa oku kusenzeka, ngokukhawuleza sicela uxolo size sizame kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukuqonda uluvo lomnye. Kuyandivuyisa ukuthi umtshato wethu uphucule kakhulu.” UJack wongezelela athi: “Sikwafunde nokuziqonda izihlandlo zaxa kuvela ukuphazamisana. Ngamaxesha anjalo siphathana ngobunono obukhulu.”—IMizekeliso 16:23.

Ngaba ufanele ucele uxolo ukuba ucinga ukuba awenzanga mpazamo? Xa kukho ingxabano eshushu, kunzima ukwazi ukuba ngubani obekek’ ityala. Kodwa into ebalulekileyo luxolo emtshatweni. Cinga ngoAbhigali, umfazi wakwaSirayeli eyathi indoda yakhe yaphatha kakubi uDavide. Nangona wayengenakubekwa tyala ngobudenge bendoda yakhe, wacela uxolo. Engxengxeza wathi: “Khawumxolele umkhonzazana wakho ukreqo lwakhe.” UDavide wasabela ngokubonakalisa uvelwano, ngokuthobeka wavuma ukuba ukuba kwakungekho ngenxa yakhe, ngewayephalaze igazi elimsulwa.—1 Samuweli 25:24-28, 32-35.

Ngokufanayo, uJune ibhinqa elingumKristu, oneminyaka engama-45 etshatile, uvakalelwa kukuba umtshato ophumelelayo ufuna ukuba ube ngokulungeleyo ukuba ube ngowokuqala ukucela uxolo. Uthi: “Ndizixelela ukuba umtshato wethu ubaluleke ngakumbi kuneemvakalelo zam kuphela. Ngokunjalo xa ndicela uxolo, ndivakalelwa kukuba ndinegalelo emtshatweni.” Inkonde uJim ithi: “Ndicela uxolo kumfazi wam nangezinto nje ezingenamsebenzi. Ukususela ekubeni wenziwa utyando, ukhathazeka msinya. Xa kunjalo ndiyamwola ndize ndithi, ‘Uxolo, Sithandwa. Bendingafuni kukukhathaza.’ Njengesityalo esinkcenkceshelweyo kwangoko uyakhululeka.”

Ukuba sikhathaze oyena mntu simthandayo, ukucela uxolo ngokukhawuleza kunokuba luncedo kakhulu. Ngokusuk’ entliziyweni, uMilagros evumelana noku uthi: “Ndiye ndiphelelwe kukuzithemba, yaye ilizwi elibukhali elidubulayo lomyeni wam liyandicaphukisa. Kodwa ukuba ucela uxolo, kwangoko ndiziva ndibhetele.” Ngokufanelekileyo, iZibhalo zisixelela oku: “Linqatha lobusi amazwi amnandi, ayincasa emphefumlweni, ayimpiliso emathanjeni.”—IMizekeliso 16:24.

Ukuqhelisela Ubuchule Bokucela Uxolo

Ukuba sikwenza umkhwa ukucela uxolo xa kuyimfuneko, siya kufumanisa ukuba abantu baya kusabela ngendlela efanelekileyo. Yaye mhlawumbi baya kude nabo bacele uxolo. Xa sikrokrela ukuba sikhathaze umntu othile, kutheni singakwenzi umkhwa ukucela uxolo kunokuba sichithe ixesha siphepha ukuvuma nayiphi na impazamo? Ihlabathi lisenokuvakalelwa kukuba ukucela uxolo luphawu lobugwala, kodwa ngokwenene kubonisa ukuba ungumKristu oqolileyo. Kakade ke, asifuni ukufana nabo bavumayo ukuba bonile kodwa bayenze ncinane imbopheleleko yabo. Ngokomzekelo, ngaba siye sitsho ukuthi uxolo kanti sidlulisela nje usana kunina? Ukuba sifika emva kwexesha size singxengxeze, ngaba sizimisela ukuphucula ekubambeni ixesha?

Ngoko ke, ngaba ngokwenene kuyafuneka ukuba sicele uxolo? Ewe, kuyafuneka. Le yimbopheleleko yethu. Ukucela uxolo kungayidambisa intlungu ebangelwa kukungafezeki, yaye kunokuphinda kuqalise ulwalamano obeluphelile. Sihlandlo ngasinye sicela uxolo sifunda ukuthobeka yaye kusiqeqesha ukuba sizixhalabele ngakumbi iimvakalelo zabanye. Ngenxa yoko, amanye amakholwa, amaqabane omtshato nabanye baya kusijonga njengabo bafanele umsa nentembelo yabo. Siya kuba noxolo lwengqondo yaye uYehova uThixo uya kusisikelela.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 23]

Ukucela uxolo ngokunyaniseka kukhuthaza uthando lobuKristu