Ukubacebela Kusengaphambili—Abo Sibathandayo

IBALI elibuhlungu lika-Annie livele kutshanje kwiphephandaba laseAfrika. Indoda ka-Annie yayingusomashishini. Yafa ngowe-1995, ishiya ngasemva iinqwelo-mafutha ezili-15; iiakhawunti eziliqela zasebhankini; imali emalunga nee-R18 000; ivenkile; ibhari; kunye nendlu enamagumbi amathathu okulala. Into engazange iyishiye yayingumyolelo welifa.

Kuthiwa umntakwabomyeni ka-Annie wayithimba loo mpahla nemali waza wamkhuphela ngaphandle kwendlu yakhe loo mfazi kwanabantwana bakhe abathandathu. Beswele, ngoku yena nabantwana bakhe bahlala nomntakwabo. Abane kubantwana bakhe kwafuneka basishiye isikolo, ekubeni kungekho mali yokubafundisa neyokuthenga impahla yesikolo.

UAnnie wafaka isicelo kwinkundla ephakamileyo, eyawisa umthetho wokuba afumane inxalenye yaloo mpahla, kuquka inqwelo-mafutha. Kodwa akukho nanye into awabuyiselwa yona. Kusafuneka aye enkundleni kwakhona ukuze anyanzele umntakwabomyeni wakhe ukuba athobele umthetho wenkundla ephakamileyo.

Kutheni Ufanele Ucinge Ngokufa?

Ibali lika-Annie libonisa oko kunokwenzeka xa intloko-ntsapho ingakhange icebe ngokufa kwayo. Ekufeni, bonke abantu ‘bayishiya nabanye imfuyo yabo.’ (INdumiso 49:10) Ngaphezu koko, abafileyo abananxaxheba kwinto eyenziwayo ngezo zinto zabo. (INtshumayeli 9:5, 10) Ukuze akwazi ukugqiba ngoko kufanele kwenziwe ngezinto zakhe, umntu umele ayilungise imicimbi ngaphambi kokuba afe.

Nangona sonke sisazi ukuba sisenokufa ngokungalindelekanga, abantu abaninzi bayasilela ukwenza amalungiselelo kusengaphambili ngabo babathandayo baphilayo. Nangona ingxubusho yethu iza kusekelwa kumaqela ezizwe ezithile zaseAfrika, iingxaki ezifanayo zikho nakweminye imimandla yehlabathi.

Enoba uthabath’ amanyathelo athile ngokuphathelele impahla yakho xa usenokufa lowo ngumbandela wobuqu. (Galati 6:5) Sekunjalo, ubani usenokubuza, ‘Kutheni umntu esondla umfazi wakhe kwanabantwana bakhe ngoxa esaphila kodwa angenzi malungiselelo ngentlalo-ntle yabo xa kunokwenzeka afe?’ Isizathu esiyintloko sikukuba inkoliso yethu ayithandi ukucinga ngokuba kusenokwenzeka ukuba ife, ngoko asicebi kusengaphambili ngokufa. Enyanisweni, asinakulazi usuku esiza kufa ngalo, njengokuba iBhayibhile isithi: “Anikwazi oko ubomi benu buya kuba kuko ngomso. Kuba niyinkungu ebonakala ithuba elincinane ize yandule ke ithi shwaka.”—Yakobi 4:14.

Ukuceba ngoko kuza kwenzeka xa ufile kuluncedo. Kukwabonisa inkxalabo enothando ngabo baphilayo. Ukuba asizicwangcisi izinto zethu, abanye baya kwenjenjalo. Mhlawumbi abantu esingazange sidibane nokudibana nabo baya kwenza izigqibo ngezinto zethu kwanamalungiselelo omngcwabo. Phantsi kweemeko ezinjalo kwamanye amazwe, uRhulumente wenza isigqibo ngomntu oza kufumana imali kwanempahla yethu. Kwezinye iindawo, izalamane zenza izigqibo, yaye ezi zigqibo ngokufuthi zizisa iingxabano ezibangela intsapho iphathane ngolunya. Ngaphezu koko, oko kugqitywayo kusenokwahluka kakhulu koko besisenokukunqwenela.

Ukuhluthwa Kwempahla

Umhlolokazi ngoyena mntu ubandezelekayo xa indoda yakhe isifa. Ngaphezu kwentlungu yokulahlekelwa liqabane lakhe, ngokufuthi uba lixhoba lokuhluthelwa impahla. Oku kuye kwaboniswa ngaphambili kwimeko ka-Annie. Esinye sezizathu zokuhluthelwa impahla sinento yokwenza nendlela abafazi abajongwa ngayo. Kwamanye amazwe umfazi akagqalwa njengenxalenye yentsapho yendoda. Ngamanye amazwi akalilo ilungu lentsapho yendoda yakhe yaye usenokuthi nanini na abuyele kwintsapho yakowabo okanye atshatele kwenye intsapho. Ngokwahlukileyo, ngendlela bona abacinga ngayo, abantakwabo, oodadewabo, kwakunye nabazali bendoda abasokuze bamshiye. Ukuba uyafa, intsapho yakowabo ikholelwa kwelokuba oko kwakukokwakhe kokwabo, kungekhona okomfazi nabantwana.

Amadoda angazityand’ igila kubafazi bawo ayayixhasa le ngcamango. UMike wayezixubusha izinto zeshishini lakhe kuphela nabantakwabo. Babesazi ngazo zonke izinto eziphathekayo anazo, kodwa umfazi wakhe wayesazi nje okuncinane. Xa wafayo, abantakwabo baza kumfazi wakhe baza bafuna ngenkani imali eyintlawulo eyayilindelwe yindoda yakhe. Wayengayazi kwanokuyazi into enjalo. Bandula ke, bathimba oomatshini bokukhuphela kwanoomatshini bokuchwetheza awayebathengelwe yindoda yakhe. Ekugqibeleni, abantakwabo bahlutha indlu nako konke okwakukho kuloo ndlu. Lo mhlolokazi kwanentombi yakhe encinane bagxothwa, bethabatha kuphela impahla yabo enxitywayo.

“Abo Babini Baya Kuba Nyama-nye”

Amadoda angamaKristu ayabathanda abafazi bawo yaye abagqala bekufanelekele ukuthenjwa. Amadoda anjalo asifak’ entliziyweni isiluleko esisekelwe eZibhalweni esithi: “Amadoda afanele abathande abafazi bawo njengemizimba yawo.” La madoda ayavumelana nesi siluleko sobuthixo: “Umntu uya kumshiya uyise nonina yaye uya kunamathela emfazini wakhe, ibe abo babini baya kuba nyama-nye.”—Efese 5:28, 31.

Amadoda ahlonel’ uThixo nawo ayavumelana nompostile uPawulos ongumKristu, owabhala esithi: “Ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba nabani na akabalungiseleli abo bangabakhe, yaye ngokukodwa abo bangamalungu endlu yakhe, ulukhanyele ukholo kwaye mbi ngakumbi kunomntu ongenalo ukholo.” (1 Timoti 5:8) Ngokuvisisana nalo mgaqo, ukuba indoda yomKristu ibicebe uhambo olude, ibiza kuqinisekisa ukuba intsapho yayo iyanyanyekelwa ngoxa ingekho. Ngokufanayo, ngaba akukho ngqiqweni ukuba ibiya kulungiselela umfazi wayo kwanabantwana bayo xa kunokwenzeka ife? Akuloncedo nje kuphela kodwa kukwabonakalisa uthando ukulungiselela isihlo esingalindelekanga.

Amasiko Omngcwabo

Kumadoda angamaKristu kukho enye inkalo amele ayiqwalasele ngalo mbandela. Besongezelela kwintlungu yomhlolokazi yokulahlekelwa liqabane lakhe, izinto zakhe, yaye mhlawumbi kwanabantwana bakhe, abanye abantu bamnyanzelela ukuba agcine izithethe zokuzila. Iphephandaba laseNigeria iThe Guardian likhalaza ngelithi kwezinye iindawo izithethe zifuna ukuba umhlolokazi alale kwigumbi elimnyama kunye nesidumbu sendoda yakhe. Kwezinye iindawo, abahlolokazi abavumelekanga ukuba bayishiye imizi yabo kwixesha lokuzila eliphantse libe ziinyanga ezintandathu. Ebudeni belo xesha, abamele bahlambe umzimba, yaye kwanokuhlamba izandla zabo ngaphambi kwanasemva kokutya akuvumelekanga.

Amasiko anjalo abangela iingxaki, ingakumbi kubahlolokazi abangamaKristu. Iminqweno yabo yokufuna ukukholisa uThixo ibashukumisela ekubeni bawaphephe amasiko angavisisaniyo neemfundiso zeBhayibhile. (2 Korinte 6:14, 17) Noko ke, ngokungawalandeli la masiko, umhlolokazi usenokutshutshiswa. Kusenokufuneka asabe ukuze asindise ubomi bakhe.

Ukuthabath’ Amanyathelo Angokwasemthethweni

IBhayibhile ngobulumko ithi: “Iingcinga [“ukuceba,” NW] zabakhutheleyo zisingisa elungeniselweni lodwa.” (IMizekeliso 21:5) Intloko-ntsapho inokuceba ntoni? Kwinkoliso yeendawo kusenokwenzeka ukuba ubani ashiye umyolelo okanye alungiselele uxwebhu oluchaza ngendlela impahla yakhe emele yahlulwe ngayo xa kusenokwenzeka afe. Lusenokuquka iinkcukacha zamalungiselelo omngcwabo. Olu xwebhu lusenokubalula oko iqabane lomtshato elimele likwenze (okanye lingakwenzi) ngokuphathelele amasiko omngcwabo nawokuzila.

Ibhinqa elinguLeah lafelwa yindoda yalo ngowe-1992. Lithi: “Ndinabantwana abahlanu—iintombi ezine nonyana. Umyeni wam wayegula kangangethuba elithile ngaphambi kokuba afe. Kodwa kwanangaphambi kokuba agule, wabhala ephepheni esithi wayefuna ukuba yonke into eyeyakhe ize kum nakubantwana bethu. Oku kwakuquka imali yeinshorensi, ifama, imfuyo, kwanendlu. Wawutyobela lo myolelo waza wandinika wona. . . . Emva kokufa komyeni wam, izalamane zafuna ukwabelwa nazo kwilifa lakhe. Ndazixelela ukuba umyeni wam wayithenga le fama ngemali yakhe yaye zazingenalungelo lakufuna nantoni na. Xa zabona umyolelo obhaliweyo, zayamkela loo nto.”

Ukuxubusha Izinto Kunye Nentsapho

Iingxaki zisenokuvela ukuba umntu akathethi nentsapho yakhe ngeenkolelo zakhe kwaneminqweno yakhe. Khawucinge ngemeko yenye indoda ezathi izalamane zayo zanyanzelela ukuba umngcwabo wayo ube kwidolophana ethile ngokuvisisana namasiko asekuhlaleni. Xa ubomi babo basongelwayo, loo mhlolokazi kwanabantwana bakhe banyanzeleka ukuba bawushiye umzimba nezalamane. Eli bhinqa lithi: “Ukuba nje umyeni wam wayexelele omnye woobawokazi bakhe okanye omnye wabazala bakhe ngendlela awayefuna ukuba angcwatywe ngayo, izalamane zazingenakunyanzela indlela yokungcwaba yezithethe.”

Kwezinye iindawo izivumelwano ezithethwe ngomlomo ziyafana noxwebhu olubhaliweyo. Iimeko zinjalo kwimimandla ethile yaseSwazini, apho abaninzi baye baneenkolelo ezikhuthaza ukuqhutywa kwemingcwabo kwanokuzila okusisithethe. Ikwazi oku, enye indoda engumKristu egama linguIsaac yabiza intlanganiso nezalamane zayo, ezazingengawo amaNgqina kaYehova, yaza yaxubusha ngoko yayifuna kwenziwe emva kokufa kwayo. Yazixelela ngalowo owayemele afumane izinto zayo ezithile eziphathekayo, yaza yacacisa ngendlela umngcwabo wayo owawumele uqhutywe ngayo. Emva kokuba ifile, izinto zenziwa ngendlela eyayifuna zenziwe ngayo. UIsaac wangcwatywa ngendlela yobuKristu, yaye umfazi wakhe waphathwa kakuhle.

Khusela Intsapho Yakho

Oko uza kukwenza ukuze ukhusele intsapho yakho ukuba kunokwenzeka ufe ngumbandela wobuqu, kodwa umKristu ogama linguEdward uthi: “Ndineinshorensi yobomi ukuze kungenelwe amalungu entsapho yam asibhozo. Umfazi wam ngumntu onokutyobela kwiakhawunti yam yasebhankini. Ngoko ukuba ndifile, unako ukukhupha imali kwiakhawunti. . . . Ndinomyolelo ukuze intsapho yam ingenelwe. Ukuba ndifile, nokuba yintoni endiyishiyayo iza kuba yeyomfazi wam nabantwana bam. Ndawubhala lo myolelo kwiminyaka emihlanu eyadlulayo. Walungiselelwa ligqwetha, yaye umfazi wam kwanonyana wam banawo umbhalo wawo. Kumyolelo wam, ndachaza ngokungqalileyo ukuba izalamane zam azimele zithabathe nxaxheba ngokuphathelele indlela oza kuqhutywa ngayo umgcwabo wam. Ndililungu lentlangano kaYehova. Ngoko nokuba kukho iNgqina elinye okanye amabini aqhuba umngcwabo wam, oko kuyakwanela. Oku ndakuxubusha nezalamane zam.”

Ngeny’ indlela, ukwenza amalungiselelo anjalo kusisipho kwintsapho yakho. Kakade ke, ukuceba ngokufa kwakho akufani nesipho seetshokolethi okanye isipha seentyatyambo. Kodwa, kubonisa uthando lwakho. Kubonisa ukuba ufuna ‘ukubalungiselela abo bangabakho’ kwanokuba akukho kunye nabo.

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 21]

UYesu Walungiselela Unina

“Noko ke, ngakuso isibonda sentuthumbo sikaYesu kwakumi unina nodade bonina; uMariya umfazi kaKlopa, noMariya Magadala. Ngoko ke uYesu, ebona unina nomfundi lowo wayemthanda bemi khona apho, wathi kunina: ‘Mfazi, khawubone! Unyana wakho!’ Ngokulandelayo wathi kuloo mfundi: ‘Khawubone! Unyoko!’ Yaye ukususela ngelo lixa kuse phambili loo mfundi [uYohane] wamthabathela ekhayeni lakhe.”—Yohane 19:25-27.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 22]

AmaKristu amaninzi ngokusengqiqweni athabath’ amanyathelo asemthethweni ukuze akhusele iintsapho zawo