Ukukhulisa Abantwana Abaneziphene

NGUMBHALI KAVUKANI! EFINLAND

UMarkus oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala (osekhohlo) akakwazi ukutya, ukusela okanye ukuhlamba ngaphandle kokuncediswa. Ulala ephaphama yaye kufuneka abekw’ esweni ubusuku bonke. Ekubeni esenzakala nanini na, ufuna uncedo lokuqala ngalo lonke ixesha. Kodwa uMarkus uthandwa kakhulu ngabazali bakhe. Bathanda ukuzola kwakhe, ububele nendlela abathanda ngayo abanye. Banelunda ngonyana wabo nakuba engakwazi ukuzenzela nto.

IWORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION iqikelela ukuba phantse isi-3 ekhulwini sabantu kumazwe ahambele phambili kwezoqoqosho ingqondo yabo idodobele ngandlela ithile. Ukudodobala kwengqondo kunokubangelwa yimfuza, ukwenzakala xa ubelekwa, ukosulelwa ziintsholongwane ebuchotsheni uselusana, ukungondleki kunye nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, utywala okanye amanye amachiza. Ngamaxesha amaninzi, isizathu sokudodobala kwengqondo asaziwa. Kumele ukuba kunjani ukuba ngumzali womntwana ofuna inkathalo engaphaya kweqhelekileyo? Banokukhuthazwa njani abazali abajamelene noku.

Xa Usiva Iindaba Ezimbi

Ingxaki iqala xa abazali befumanisa ukuba umntwana wabo udodobele ingqondo. USirkka ukhumbula oku: “Xa mna nomyeni wam seva ukuba intombi yethu inesifo esibizwa ngokuba yiDown syndrome, kwakungathi sehlelwe lilifu elimnyama.” Umama kaMarkus uAnne uthi: “Xa ndaxelelwa ukuba uza kuphazamiseka engqondweni, ndazibuza indlela abanye ababeya kumjonga ngayo. Kodwa ndadlula ngokukhawuleza kwelo nqanaba ndaza ndanikela ingqalelo kwiimfuno zakhe noko ndinokumenzela kona.” UIrmgard wavakalelwa ngendlela efanayo. Uthi: “Xa oogqirha basixelela ngemeko yentombi yethu uEunike, ndandicinga kuphela ngendlela endandinokumnceda ngayo umntwan’ am.” Emva kokuxelelwa oku, abazali abafana noSirkka, uAnne noIrmagard banokwenza ntoni?

IU.S. National Dissemination Center for Children With Disabilities icebisa oku: “Okokuqala funa inkcazelo—inkcazelo ngesigulo somntwana wakho, ngoncedo olufumanekayo, kunye nendlela onokunceda ngayo umntwana wakho akhule kangangoko kunokwenzeka.” Ukusebenzisa le nkcazelo kunokuzisa ulwaneliseko ekunyamekeleni kwakho umntwana. Kufana nokubhala ngohambo okulo, ukuphawula umgama osele uhanjiwe kunye neendawo ezikhethekileyo.

Ukuba Nethemba

Phezu kwawo nje amanzithi-nzithi okukhulisa umntwana ododobele ingqondo, abazali banokuba nalo ithemba. Njani?

Okokuqala, abazali bathuthuzelwa kukwazi ukuba abantwana abaninzi abanjalo abeva zintlungu. UGqr. Robert Isaacson kwincwadi yakhe ethi The Retarded Child ubhala esithi: “Uninzi lwabo bayonwaba, bayakuvuyela ukuhlala nabanye, ukuphulaphula umculo, ukudlala imidlalo, ukutya okumnandi nokuba kunye nabahlobo.” Nakuba benokubonakala ngathi bangamalolo okanye bengakwazi ukuphumeza izinto abanye abantwana abakwaziyo ukuziphumeza, baziva bonwabile “ngendlela yabo” kunabantwana abaqhelekileyo “abanazo zonke izinto.”

Okwesibini, abazali banokuziva benelunda ngempumelelo yomntwana wabo xa esenza okuthile akusebenzele nzima. Nto nganye entsha ayifundayo ifana nomnqantsa awuwelayo, yaye njengoko bezibona bekwazi ukwenza okuthile, oku kushiya abazali bevuya. Ngokomzekelo uBryan unesifo esibizwa ngokuba yituberous sclerosis, uyaxhuzula, kwaye uthanda ukuhlala yedwa. Nakuba ekrelekrele, akakwazi ukuthetha yaye akakwazi kakuhle ukulawula izandla zakhe. Kodwa uye wafunda ukusela ngekomityi ethe gabhu ngaphandle kokuchitha. Oku kufuna ukuba aqeqeshe ingqondo nomzimba ukuze akwazi ukuziselela esona siselo asithanda kakhulu—ubisi.

Abazali bakaBryan bakubona oku njengenyathelo lokuwela ngaphaya kwesiphene. Unina, uLaurie uthi: “Unyana wethu ufana nomthi owomeleleyo wehlathi. Nakuba umthi onjalo ungakhuli ngokukhawuleza njengeminye imithi, uvelisa amaplanga axabisekileyo. Ngokufanayo, abantwana abaneziphene nabo bakhula kade. Kodwa kubazali babo bafana nemithinjana emincinane yemioki elungiselelwe ukwenza ifanitshala enexabiso.”

Okwesithathu, abazali abaninzi bayakhuthazwa luthando olubonakaliswa ngabantwana babo. UIrmgard uthi: “UEunike uyakuthanda ukulala kwangethuba, uncamisa ilungu ngalinye lentsapho xa esiya kulala. Ukuba uye walala singekafiki ekhaya, ubhala ileta emfutshane acele uxolo kuba engasilindanga. Udla ngokongezelela ngokuthi, uyasithanda kwaye ukhangele phambili ekusiboneni ngentsasa elandelayo.”

UMarkus akakwazi ukuthetha, kodwa uye wafunda intetho yezandla ukuze axelele abazali bakhe ukuba uyabathanda. Abazali bakaTia ododobeleyo engqondweni, bachaza indlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngokuthi: “Uye wazalisa iintliziyo zethu ngothando, ububele, ukwangiwa kunye nokuncanyiswa.” Ewe, abantwana abanjalo bafuna uthando nobubele obunzulu babazali babo—ngamazwi nangezenzo.

Okwesine, abazali abangamaKristu bavuya gqitha xa umntwana wabo evakalisa ukholo lwakhe ngoThixo. Umzekelo omhle woku nguJuha. Xa kwakungcwatywa uyise, wothusa wonke umntu owayelapho ngokucela ukuthandaza. Kumthandazo wakhe omfutshane, uJuha wachaza indlela awayekholelwa ngayo ukuba uyise ukwinkumbulo kaThixo, kwaye uya kumvusa ngexesha elifanelekileyo. Waza wacela ukuba uThixo ancede intsapho yakowabo, ebabiza bonke ngamagama.

Intembelo kaEunike kuThixo iye ngokufanayo yabavuyisa abazali bakhe. UEunike akakuqondi konke akufundayo. Ngokomzekelo, uyabazi abantu abaninzi abaseBhayibhileni, kodwa into angayaziyo yindlela abadibana ngayo ukuze benze ibali elivakalayo. Noko ke, uyayiqonda into yokuba ngenye imini uThixo uSomandla uza kuphelisa zonke iingxaki zomhlaba. UEunike ukhangele phambili ekuphileni kumhlaba omtsha othenjiswe nguThixo, apho aya kuwasebenzisa onke amandla akhe engqondo.

Ukubanceda Bakwazi Ukuzenzela Izinto

Abantwana abaneziphene abayi kuhlala beziintsana—bayakhula baze babe ngabantu abadala abadodobele ingqondo. Ngoko ke, abazali baya kubanceda abantwana abafuna inkathalo ekhethekileyo ukuba bangaxhomekeki kakhulu kubo ngaphezu komlinganiselo. Umama kaMarkus, uAnne, uthi: “Kwakulula yaye kungathabathi xesha lide ukwenzela uMarkus zonke izinto. Kodwa sazama konke okusemandleni ethu ukuze afunde ukuzenzela izinto.” Umama kaEunike wongezelela esithi: “UEunike uneempawu ezintle kodwa ngamanye amaxesha uba neenkani. Ukuba sifuna enze into angayifuniyo, kufuneka simcenge ukuze akhumbule ukuba ufuna ukusikholisa. Xa eye wavuma ukwenza oko afanele akwenze, siyambulela size simkhuthaze de akugqibe.

Umama kaBryan, uLaurie, usoloko ezama iindlela zokwenza umsebenzi uhambele phambili. Ngaphezu kweminyaka emithathu uLaurie nomyeni wakhe baye banceda uBryan ukuba afunde ukuchwetheza. UBryan uyakuvuyela ukuthumela iie-mail kubahlobo bakhe nezalamane. Kodwa kufuneka kubekho umntu obambe isihlahla sakhe xa echwetheza. Abazali bakhe sele bemncede ukufikelela inqanaba lokuba ngoku kufuneka babambe ingqiniba yakhe kuphela. Bayazi ukuba xa kubanjwa ingqiniba yakhe kuphela elo linyathelo elikhulu lokuzenzela izinto.

Kodwa abazali akufuneki babe nolindelo olungaphaya kwamandla okanye banyanzele umntwana wabo ukuba enze yonke into kakuhle. Abantwana bayashiyana ngamandla. Incwadi ethi The Special Child icebisa isithi: “Umthetho osengqiqweni kukuzama ukuba kubekho ulungelelwano phakathi kokuzenzela izinto nokuncedwa ukuze angaxinezeleki.”

Oyena Mntu Uluncedo

Abazali babantwana abaphazamisekileyo engqondweni kufuneka babe nomonde baze babe nenzondelelo. Ngenxa yengxaki emva kwenye, abanye abazali basenokudimazeka. Basoloko beziva bediniwe. Kusuke kuthi waxa iinyembezi yaye ngamanye amaxesha, baqalisa ukuzisizela. Yintoni enokwenziwa?

Abazali banokucela uncedo kuThixo ‘uMphulaphuli wemithandazo.’ (INdumiso 65:2) Unika ukhuthazo, ithemba namandla okunyamezela. (1 Kronike 29:12; INdumiso 27:14) Uyasithuthuzela xa sikhathazekile yaye ufuna sibe ‘nemihlali ngethemba’ eliseBhayibhileni. (Roma 12:12; 15:4, 5; 2 Korinte 1:3, 4) Abazali abahlonela uThixo banokuqiniseka ukuba kwixesha elizayo, xa ‘iimfama zibona, izithulu zisiva, iziqhwala zihamba nolwimi lwesimumu lumemelela ngochulumanco,’ umntwana wabo oxabisekileyo uya kunandipha impilo efezekileyo engqondweni nasemzimbeni.—Isaya 35:5, 6; INdumiso 103:2, 3.

OKUNOKWENZIWA NGABAZALI

◼ Funda uze ufune ulwazi ngesifo somntwana wakho.

◼ Zama ukugcina isimo sengqondo esihle.

◼ Nceda umntwana wakho afikelele oko anokukwenza ngokwamandla akhe.

◼ Funa ukhuthazo, ithemba namandla kuThixo.

OKUNOKWENZIWA NGABANYE

◼ Thetha ngendlela eqhelekileyo nenyanisekileyo nomntwana.

◼ Thetha nabazali ngomntwana uze ubancome.

◼ Yiba nolwazelelelo uze ucingele iimvakalelo zabo.

◼ Bameme kwiimbutho abazali nabantwana abaneziphene.

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Indlela Abanye Abanokunceda Ngayo

Njengokuba ababukeli bewuxabisa umxhino weembaleki, unokumangaliswa yindlela abanomxhino ngayo abazali abanyamekela abantwana abafuna inkathalo ekhethekileyo—iiyure ezingama-24 ngosuku neentsuku ezisi-7 ngeveki. Ababukeli badla ngokuzinika iibhotile zamanzi iimbaleki ukuze ziqhubeke zibaleka. Ngaba kukho indlela onokuba lukhuthazo ngayo kubazali abanyamekela abantwana babo ubomi babo bonke?

Enye indlela elula kukuthetha nomntwana wabo. Usenokuziva ungakhululekanga ekuqaleni, umntwana usenokuphendula nje ngegama elinye okanye angaphenduli kwaphela. Noko ke, ungalibali ukuba aba bantwana bayakuvuyela ukuphulaphula yaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba baya kucingisisa nzulu ngoko ukuthethileyo. Ngamanye amaxesha ingqondo zabo zinokubonakala zingasebenzi kakuhle, yaye imbonakalo yobuso isenokungazivelisi ezona mvakalelo banazo.a

Ugqirha Annikki Koistinen, noyingcali kwimithambo-luvo yabantwana, ucebisa indlela onokuyenza ngayo incoko ibe lula esithi: “Xa uqala, usenokuthetha ngabazali nangabantakwabo okanye ngezinto abazithandayo. Thetha nabo ngokweminyaka yabo, ungathethi nabo ngokungathi uthetha nosana. Thetha ngento ibe nye ngexesha, usebenzise izivakalisi ezifutshane. Banike ixesha lokucinga ngale nto uthetha ngayo.”

Abazali nabo bayakufuna ukuncokola. Uvelwano lwakho ngabo luya kukhula ukuba uyazazi iinzima abajamelana nazo. Ngokomzekelo unina kaMarkus, uAnne, ukufuna ngamandla ukumazi ngakumbi unyana wakhe. Uvakalelwa kukuba akakwazi ukuthetha naye okanye achaze eyona nto ayicingayo. Ukwacinga ukuba, usenokufa ngaphambi kokuba kufe unyana wakhe aze amshiye eyinkedama.

Kungakhathaliseki indlela abazali ababanyamekela ngayo abantwana babo abadodobele ingqondo, bavakalelwa kukuba kufuneka benze okungakumbi. ULaurie, unina kaBryan, uzibek’ ityala ngazo zonke iimpazamo ezincinane azenzayo xa enyamekele unyana wakhe. Uziva enetyala ngokungabakhathaleli abanye abantwana ngendlela ebefuna ngayo. Umdla nentlonelo onayo ngabo bazali kubenza bazive benesidima kwaye kulukhuthazo kubo nakubantwana babo. UIrmgard uthi: “Ndiyavuya xa abantu bencokola ngentombi yethu. Ndibaxabisa kakhulu abo balila baze bahleke kunye nam noEunike.”

Zikho nezinye iindlela onokunceda ngazo—ezincinane nezinkulu. Mhlawumbi unokumema abazali ukuze babe kunye nentsapho yakho. Okanye ukuchitha ixesha nomntwana wabo xa abazali bephumle.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

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Ukubonisa ulwazelelelo lokwenene kulondoloza isidima somzali nesomntwana

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NjengoEunike, abantwana abaphazamiseke engqondweni bafuna uthando njengoko bekhula

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ULaurie uye wanceda unyana wakhe uBryan, ukuba afunde ukuchwetheza yaye oku kumenza azenzele izinto