Ukufundisa Abantwana Ukuba Bathobele

INGXAKI

Wena nomntwana wakho nisoloko nisedabini, kwaye kubonakala ngathi nguye osoloko ephumelela.

• Xa umxelela ukuba enze into angafuni kuyenza, usuka nje angakuhoyi.

• Xa umnqanda kwinto ayenzayo, usuka adubuleke ngumsindo.

Uyazibuza, ‘Ngaba yinto nje edlulayo le? Ngaba ndimele ndibe nethemba lokuba uza kuwuyeka lo mkhwa?’

Unako ukumfundisa ukuthobela umntwana wakho. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba sithethe ngendlela onokumfundisa ngayo, makhe siqale sihlole into enokumbangela angathobeli.

ISIZATHU SOKUBA OKU KUSENZEKA

Xa umntwana wakho wayeselusana, eyona nto yayibalulekile kuwe yayikukumkhathalela. Wawusoloko usecaleni kwakhe. Wayesithi akulila utsibe ngoko nangoko. Yayifanelekile ibe intle gqitha loo nto. Kaloku iintsana zikudinga kakhulu ukuhoywa ngabazali bazo.

Xa sele eyiqhelile le mpatho, kulindelekile ukuba azibone engukumkani, bona abazali bengamakhoboka asoloko esenza intando yakhe. Kodwa ke izinto zidla ngokutshintsha xa eneminyaka emibini: “Ulawulo” lwakhe luyawohloka. Abazali abasayithobeli imithetho yakhe, kodwa balindele ukuba yena athobele eyabo. Ibothusa kakhulu abantwana loo nto! Abanye basuka badubuleke ngumsindo. Abanye abathobeli ngabom kuba befuna ukubona ukuba baza kwenza ntoni abazali.

Ngelo xesha linzima, umzali kufuneka azibonakalise ukuba nguye onegunya nofanele ayalele umntwana. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba umntwana akazihoyi izinto ezithethwa ngabazali, njengakumzekelo osekuqaleni?

OKO UNOKUKWENZA

Khokela. Umntwana wakho akasoze aliqonde igunya lakho ukuba akukhokeli. Ngoko, ngomoya omhle nje, umele umenze aliqonde igunya lakho. Kwiminyaka yakutshanje, abantu ekuthiwa ziingcali bathi igama elithi “igunya” livakala lingqwabalala. Enye yade yathi igunya labazali “alikho sengqiqweni” ibe “alifanelekanga.” Kodwa uvula-zibhuqe unokubashiya abantwana bebhidekile, becinga ukuba bangoothile abafanele bafumane yonk’ into. Oko akubancedi ukuba bakhule bengabantu abanenkathalo.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 29:15.

Mqeqeshe. Esinye isichazi-magama sithi ingqeqesho “kukunceda umntu ukuba athobele okanye azeyise, kusetyenziswa imithetho nezohlwayo xa yophuliwe.” Kakade ke, ingqeqesho ayifanele ibe ngqwabalala okanye ixhaphaze. Kwelinye icala, ayimele ibe yekeyeke okanye ishiye umntwana engaziqondi ukuba umoshile.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 23:13.

Lenze licace igunya lakho. Abanye abazali bayayicela intobelo yomntwana. (“Ndicela ucoce igumbi lakho, uyeva?”) Mhlawumbi bacinga ukuba oko kubenza abantu abalungileyo. Kodwa ke loo nto inokubashiya bengoothobela sikutyele, ize ibe ngabantwana abagqibayo enoba baza kuthobela okanye bangathobeli. Kunokuba ulehlise igunya lakho, bayalele ngokucacileyo.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: 1 Korinte 14:9.

Yima kwinto oyithethileyo. Ukuba uthe hayi, yima kuloo nto kunye neqabane lakho. Ukuba ubuthe uza kumohlwaya xa engathobeli, kwenze oko. Sukuphikisana naye okanye ube ucacisa into engapheliyo ngesigqibo sakho. Ukuba ‘uEwe wakho nguEwe aze uHayi abe nguHayi,’ oko kuya kunenzela lula izinto.—Yakobi 5:12.

Bathande abantwana. Intsapho ayilolawulo lwesininzi okanye ukulawula ngegqudu. Kunoko, lilungiselelo likaThixo lothando lokunceda abantwana bakhule bengabantu abanenkathalo. Ngoko ke, ingqeqesho iza kubanceda abantwana bathobele baze bazive bekhuselekile xa ubathanda.