USARAHa waseGhana oneminyaka eyi-17 etshate noJacob uthi: “Sisoloko sixabana ngemali.” Uthi: “Ndiba nomsindo kuba zininzi izinto endizenzayo ukuze ndinyamekele intsapho abe uJacob engathethi nam ngemeko yethu yezimali. Kuye kudlule iiveki singathethisani.”

Yena uJacob umyeni wakhe uthi: “Kunjalo, akhona amaxesha apho siye sixambulisane. Aye abangelwe kukungaqondani okanye ukungancokolisani kakuhle. Ngamanye amaxesha abangelwa kukucaphuka ungekeva kakuhle.”

UNathan waseIndia osele enethutyana etshatile, uchaza oko kwenzekayo xa uyisezala wangxolisa uninazala. Uthi: “Wabindeka waza wahamba. Xa ndambuzayo ukuba kutheni emngxolisa, yaba ngathi mna ndiyamdelela. Ndingazanga, ndabona sele singxoliswa sonke.”

Mhlawumbi nawe ukhe waqaphela ukuba ukuthetha ungacinganga okanye ukuthetha into engafanelekanga ngexesha elingafanelekanga kunokubangela ingxabano ekhayeni. Incoko emnandi nezolileyo isenokutshintsha ngesiquphe nize nixambulisane ngamazwi. Akakho umntu onokuhlala ethetha izinto ezifanelekileyo ngalo lonke ixesha, ngoko kusenokuba lula ukuyitolika kakubi into ethethwayo okanye into ebangele ukuba ithethwe. Sekunjalo, ninganako ukuba noxolo nemvisiswano.

Yintoni onokuyenza xa kuvela ingxabano? Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze ubuyisele uxolo nenzolo entsatsheni? Iintsapho zinokuligcina njani uxolo ekhayeni? Nceda uqhubeke ufunda.

KUTHEKANI ukuba intsapho yakho isoloko ixabana? Mhlawumbi ukungavisisani kuyinto yemihla ngemihla. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba aniyazi ukuba ziqala njani ezi ngxabano. Sekunjalo niyathandana, kwaye anifuni kukhathazana.

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba ukwahluka koluvo lwenu akuthethi kuthi intsapho yenu ayovani. Into ebonisa ukuba ikhaya lenu liza kuba yindawo yenzolo okanye yengxwabangxwaba ayikokuxabana, kodwa yindlela enenza ngayo xa kuvela ingxabano. Nanga amanyathelo anokukunceda uphelise iingxabano.

1. MUSA UKUZIPHINDEZELELA.

Ingxabano ibangelwa ngabantu ababini, kodwa xa omnye wabo ethula aze amamele, inokuthomalala. Ngoko mus’ ukufuna ukuziphindezelela xa ucatshukisiwe. Zibambe ukuze ungalahlekelwa sisidima sakho. Ukhumbule ukuba, uxolo entsatsheni lubaluleke ngaphezu kokuba ufune kugqibele wena.

“Apho kungekho nkuni uyacima umlilo, nalapho kungekho mnyelisi usukuzwano luyadamba.”—IMizekeliso 26:20.

2. ZAZI IIMVAKALELO ZELUNGU LENTSAPHO YAKHO.

Ukuphulaphula kakuhle nangovelwano ngaphandle kokuphazamisa okanye ukugweba umntu kunokuba luncedo ekuwubambeni umsindo nasekwenzeni uxolo. Kunokuba umgxeke omnye umntu, yazi indlela avakalelwa ngayo. Into ayenze ngenxa yokungafezeki, sukuthi yinkohlakalo iimpazamo ezibangelwa kukungafezeki. Amazwi abuhlungu asenokuba abangelwe kukuba loo mntu ethethe engacinganga, kungekhona kuba efuna ukuziphindezelela okanye enenjongo embi.

“Yambathani umsa wemfesane, ububele, ukuthobeka kwengqondo, ubulali, nokuzeka kade umsindo.”—Kolose 3:12.

3. ZIPHE IXESHA LOKUHLISA UMSINDO.

Ukuba unomsindo, bubulumko ukuba ukhe ubethwe ngumoya ukuze wehle. Usenokuya kwelinye igumbi okanye uthi tshalala ubuye xa sele uzolile. Oko akuthethi ukuba ubaleka ingxaki okanye awufuni ukuthetha ngayo. Kunoko, lixesha lokuba uthandaze kuThixo ucele ukuba nomonde nokuqonda.

“Ngaphambi kokuba kuvele ingxabano, rhoxa.”—IMizekeliso 17:14.

4. KULUMKELE OKO UKUTHETHAYO NENDLELA OKUTHETHA NGAYO.

Ukuphendula rhabaxa akuyi kuphucula nto. Endaweni yoko, zama ukusebenzisa amazwi anokuthomalalisa intlungu yaloo mntu umthandayo. Kunokuba ugqibe ngendlela afanele avakalelwe ngayo, ngokuthobeka cela akuxelele ukuba uvakalelwa njani uze umbulele ngokukwenza uyiqonde indlela avakalelwa ngayo.

“Kukho othetha engacinganga njengokuhlaba kwekrele, kodwa ulwimi lezilumko luyaphilisa.”—IMizekeliso 12:18.

5. GCINA ITHONI YELIZWI LAKHO IPHANTSI.

Ukungabi namonde kwelungu lentsapho kungenza elinye libe nomsindo. Kuphephe ukuphoxa, ukuthuka okanye ukunyusa ilizwi enoba sele ucaphuke kangakanani. Musa ukusebenzisa izityholo ezibuhlungu nje ngokuthi: “Awundikhathalele” okanye “Awukhe undimamele.” Kungcono ulichazele ngobubele iqabane lakho indlela ovakalelwa ngayo (“Ndiyakhathazeka xa u . . . ”). Ukutyhalana, ukuqhwaba ngempama, ukukhaba nalo naluphi na uhlobo lokuxhaphaza akuthetheleleki. Kuyafana ke nangokubizana ngamagama amabi, ukuthetha izinto ezibonisa ukungahloniphani okanye ukusongelana.

“Mabususwe kuni bonke ubukrakra bolunya nomsindo nengqumbo nokumemeza nokutshabhisa nabo bonke ububi.”—Efese 4:31.

6. XOLELA NGOKUKHAWULEZA UZE UCHAZE OKO UFUNA UKUKWENZA UKUZE ULUNGISE INGXAKI.

Musa ukuvumela iimvakalelo ezimbi zikwenze ungayazi injongo onayo yokwenza uxolo. Khumbula, akukho mntu uphumelelayo xa nixabana. Ukuba nenza uxolo, niya kuphumelela. Ngoko, xa inguwe obangele ingxabano, yamkele loo nto. Nokuba uqinisekile ukuba awenzanga nto, usenokuxolisa kuba uye wacaphuka, waphendula kakubi okanye wamcaphukisa loo mntu ungazimiselanga. Ukuhlalisana ngoxolo nabanye kubaluleke ngaphezu kokuzicingela nokufuna kugqibele wena. Ukuba umntu uyaxolisa, mxolele ngokukhawuleza.

“Hamba uzithobe uze ulithukuthezele ngokulicenga idlelane lakho.”—Imizekeliso 6:3.

Xa ingxabano iphelile, unokwenza ntoni ukuze kubekho uxolo entsatsheni? Oku kuya kuba ngumxholo wenqaku elilandelayo.

NGABA ucinga ukuba iBhayibhile inganceda ekwenzeni uxolo ekhayeni? Khawuthelekise oko iBhayibhile ithi kuluncedo kunye noko kuye kwathethwa ngabantu ekuye kwadliwan’ indlebe nabo. Qwalasela izinto ezinokukunceda uphephe ingxabano, ugcin’ uxolo uze ugcine umanyano lwentsapho.

IMIGAQO YEBHAYIBHILE EBANGELA UXOLO

ZIFUNDISE UKUBONA IZINTO EZINTLE KWABANYE.

“Ningenzi nanye into ngokusukuzana okanye ngokuzigwagwisa, kodwa ngokuthobeka kwengqondo, nibagqala abanye njengabongamileyo kunani, ninyamekela, kungekuphela nje izilangazelelo zobuqu, kodwa kwanezilangazelelo zabanye.”—Filipi 2:3, 4.

“Siphawule ukuba kufuneka ujonge iqabane lakho njengelibaluleke ngaphezu kwakho nabanye.”—C. P., oneminyaka eyi-19 etshatile.

PHULAPHULA KAKUHLE.

“Qhubeka ubakhumbuza . . . bangabi ngabathanda ukulwa, babe ngabanengqiqo, bebonisa ubulali kubantu bonke.”—Tito 3:1, 2.

“Ukungavisisani kunokuphetshwa xa singaphenduli ngelizwi elirhabaxa. Kubalulekile ukuphulaphula ngaphandle kokugweba size siyihlonele imbono yomnye nokuba asivumelani nayo.”—P. P., oneminyaka eyi-20 etshatile.

ZAMA UKUBA NOMONDE NOBULALI.

“Ngomonde umphathi uyacengeka, yaye ngolwimi olunobulali unokwaphula ithambo.”—IMizekeliso 25:15.

“Iingxabano ziya kuhlala zikho kodwa kuxhomekeka kwinto esiyenzayo xa sixabana. Thina nje sifanele, sibe nomonde. Xa sinawo, siye siphawule ukuba izinto ziyalunga.”—G. A., oneminyaka eyi-27 etshatile.

UNGAZE UBHENELE KUMAZWI AHLABAYO.

“Lahlani konke, ingqumbo, umsindo, ububi, yaye makungaphumi ntetho itshabhisayo, nantetho ingamanyala emlonyeni wenu.”—Kolose 3:8.

“Ndiyayithanda indlela umyeni wam akwazi ngayo ukuwubamba umsindo wakhe. Uhlala ezolile yaye akasoze andingxolise okanye andithuke.”—B. D., oneminyaka eyi-20 etshatile.

KULUNGELE UKUXOLELA NOKULUNGISA INGXABANO NGOKUKHAWULEZA.

“Qhubekani ninyamezelana yaye nixolelana ngesisa ukuba nabani na unesizathu sokukhalazela omnye.”—Kolose 3:13.

“Xa unestres akusoloko kulula ukuhlala uzolile, ngenxa yoko usenokuthetha okanye wenze izinto ezinokulikhathaza iqabane lakho. Ngamaxesha anjalo, kuhle ukuxolela kuba ukuze umtshato uphumelele, umele uxolele.”—A. B., oneminyaka eyi-34 etshatile.

ZIQHELISE UKUBAPHA NOKUBACINGELA ABANYE.

“Ziqheliseni ukupha, yaye abantu baya kunipha. . . . Kuba ngomlinganiselo enilinganisela ngawo, baya kunilinganisela kwangawo nani.”—Luka 6:38.

“Umyeni wam uyayazi into endivuyisayo kwaye uhlala esenza izinto endizithandayo ndingacinganga. Nam ndihlala ndicinga indlela endinokumvuyisa ngayo. Loo nto ibangela ukuba sihlale sonwabile yaye sihleka.”—H. K., oneminyaka eyi-44 etshatile.

QHUBEKA UBANGELA UXOLO EKHAYA

UVukani! uye wadlan’ indlebe namanye amalungu entsapho aphakathi kwezigidi zabantu eziye zancedwa yiBhayibhile ukuze zikhulise iimpawu ezibangela uxolo ekhayeni.a Nangona abanye kwintsapho yabo bengafuni ukwenza uxolo, baye bafumanisa ukuba kuluncedo ukuba noxolo kuba iBhayibhile ithembisa oku: “Abo baceba uxolo banemihlali.”—IMizekeliso 12:20.