Isahluko 2

Ukuthandana Ngokufihlakeleyo—Kunokuba Yingozi Njani?

UJessica wayesengxakini. Yaqal’ inkathazo xa uJeremy awayefunda naye esikolweni ebonisa umdla kuye. Uthi: “Wayeyinzwana, amanye amantombazana ayesithi ungoyena mfana uziphethe kakuhle kwendakha ndadibana nabo. Maninzi amantombazana awayekhe azibika kuye, kodwa wayengenamdla kuwo. Wayethe swii ndim kuphela.”

Kungabanga thuba lide, uJeremy wacela uthando kuJessica. UJessica wathi njengokuba eliNgqina likaYehova akanakuthandana nomntu anganquli naye. “Kodwa uJeremy weza necebo,” utsho njalo uJessica. “Wandibuza, ‘Kutheni ke singathandani, sibafihlele abazali bakho?’”

UKUBA umntu otsaleleke kuye ebenokuthetha into efanayo, ubuya kuphendula uthini? Kusenokukothusa ukwazi ukuba, uJessica wavumelana necebo likaJeremy. Le ntwazana ithi: “Ndandiqinisekile ukuba, xa nje sinokuthandana, ndinokumnceda athande uYehova.” Waba yintoni umphumo? Siza kuphinda siwuphendule lo mbuzo. Makhe siqale sibone indlela abanye abaye babambiseka ngayo kumgibe wokuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo.

Isizathu Sokuba Bakwenze Oku

Kutheni abanye bethandana ngokufihlakeleyo? UDavid oselula uthi, “Bazi kakuhle ukuba abazali babo abasoze bavume, ngoko ababaxeleli.” UJane uchaza esinye isizathu. Uthi: “Ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo kukuvukela. Xa uvakalelwa kukuba uphathwa njengosana, ugqiba kwelokuba wenze unothanda, nto nje ungabaxeleli abazali bakho.”

Ngaba mhlawumbi zikho ezinye izizathu ocinga ukuba zenza abanye bathandane ngokufihlakeleyo? Ukuba kunjalo, zibhale apha ngezantsi.

․․․․․

Uyazi ukuba iBhayibhile ithi umele ubathobele abazali bakho. (Efese 6:1) Xa abazali bakho bekwalela ukuba uthandane, bamele ukuba banesizathu esivakalayo. Phofu ke, mayingakothusi into yokuba ucinga oku:

● Ndiziva ndingafani nabanye abantwana, kuba wonk’ umntu uyathandana.

● Nakuba singekho kunqulo olunye, kodwa ndiyamthanda.

● Ndifuna ukuthandana nomnye umKristu, nakuba ndisemncinane kakhulu ukuba ndingatshata.

Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyazi ukuba abazali bakho banokuthini xa unokuthetha oku kungasentla. Yaye xa ucingisisa kakuhle uyazi ukuba abazali bakho banyanisile. Kwangaxeshanye usenokuvakalelwa njengentombazana egama linguManami, ethi: “Akulula ukumelana nengcinezelo yokuthandana, kangangokuba nam ndidla ngokungaqiniseki kanye kanye ngesigqibo endimele ndisenze. Kunzima ngolutsha namhlanje ukuba lungathandani. Ngaphezu koko, akumnandanga ukuba wedwa!” Ngenxa yoko, abanye baqalisa ukuthandana, baze bakufihle oko kubazali. Njani?

“Saxelelwa Ukuba Singakhe Siyiphathe”

Kwaigama eli lithi “ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo” libonisa ukuba kufuneka ubaqhathe abazali. Ngaloo ndlela abanye bancokola ngefowuni okanye ngeInternet ukuze bangaziwa ukuba bayathandana. Phambi kwabantu bakhangeleka bengabahlobo nje, kodwa ii-email abathumelelana zona, nezinto abazincokola efowunini, zithetha enye into.

Olunye ulutsha luye lulungiselele umcimbi othile njengeqela, ukuze kamva mntu ngamnye ahlale nesithandwa sakhe. UJames uthi: “Sakha samenywa kwenye imbutho, xa sifika apho safumanisa ukuba le nto ibicetywe kwangaphambili ukuze kudityaniswe enye inkwenkwe nenye intombazana. Saxelelwa ukuba singakhe siyiphathe.”

Njengokuba uJames ebonisa, abahlobo badla ngokufak’ isandla xa abantu bethandana ngokufihlakeleyo. UCarol uthi: “Kudla ngokubakho umhlobo olwaziyo olu lwalamano kodwa akhethe ukungaxeli kuba engafuni ukudiza amahlebo.” Ngamanye amaxesha kubakho nokungathembeki. UBeth oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala uthi: “Ulutsha oluninzi lufihla ukuthandana kwalo kubazali balo ngokungaxeli apho luya khona.” UMisaki oneminyaka eli-19 ubudala wenza kanye loo nto. Uthi: “Kwakufuneka ndicinge amaqhinga. Ndandiqiniseka ukuba andixoki ngenye into ngaphandle nje kwale yokuthandana kwam, ukuze abazali bahlale bendithemba.”

Iingxaki Zokuthandana Ngokufihlakeleyo

Ukuba ufuna ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo—okanye sele uthandana—kufuneka uzibuze le mibuzo mibini ilandelayo:

Ndiza kuphelela phi? Ngaba uzimisele ukutshata nalo mntu ngokukhawuleza? UEvan oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala uthi: “Ukuthandana ungenanjongo yokutshata kufana nokuthengisa into ongafuni ukuba ithengwe.” Unokuba yintoni umphumo? IMizekeliso 13:12 ithi: “Ulindelo olubanjezelweyo lugulisa intliziyo.” Ngaba ngokwenene ufuna ukwenza intliziyo yomntu omthandayo igule? Nasi esinye isilumkiso: Ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo kubangela ukuba abazali bakho nabanye abantu abanamava bangakwazi ukukunceda. Ngenxa yoko, usenokuwela kumgibe wokuziphatha kakubi ngokwesini.—Galati 6:7.

Uvakalelwa njani uYehova uThixo ngale nto ndiyenzayo? IBhayibhile ithi: “Zonke izinto zize yaye zibhencekile emehlweni alowo simele siphendule kuye.” (Hebhere 4:13) Ngoko xa ufihla ukuthandana kwakho—okanye ukuthandana komhlobo wakho—uYehova uyayazi loo nto. Yaye ukuba uyabaqhatha abazali bakho umele ulumke, kuba uYehova uThixo ukuthiyile ukuxoka. Enyanisweni, iBhayibhile ithi uyalucekisa “ulwimi oluxokayo.”—IMizekeliso 6:16-19.

Ukuzisa Izinto Ekukhanyeni

Enyanisweni, kuya kuba yinto entle ukuthetha nomzali okanye omnye umKristu okhulileyo ngolu lwalamano ulufihlayo. Yaye ukuba umhlobo wakho uthandana ngokufihlakeleyo, musa ukuncedisana naye ekufihleni ukuthandana kwakhe. (1 Timoti 5:22) Ngaphezu koko, ubuya kuvakalelwa njani ukuba olu lwalamano lunokuba nemiphumo emibi? Ngaba ubungenakuziva unetyala?

Ngokomzekelo: Masithi umhlobo wakho unesifo seswekile kodwa utya iilekese yaye uyakufihla oko. Ubuya kwenza ntoni xa ubuyazi loo nto, kodwa abe umhlobo wakho ekubongoza ukuba ungaxeleli mntu? Yiyiphi eyona nto ibalulekileyo—kukuquma umhlobo wakho okanye kukwenza okuthile ukuze usindise ubomi bakhe?

Kuyafana naxa usazi ukuba umhlobo wakho uthandana ngokufihlakeleyo. Musa ukuba nexhala lokuphela kobuhlobo. Njengokuba ixesha lihamba, umhlobo wokwenene uya kubona ukuba ubuzama ukumnceda.—INdumiso 141:5.

Ngaba Yimfihlelo Okanye Ngumbandela Wobuqu?

Noko ke, asingabo bonke abantu abathandana ngokufihlakeleyo abakhohlisayo. Ngokomzekelo, masithi umfana nentombazana bafuna ukwazana bhetele, kodwa abakafuni ukuba oko kwaziwe nguwonke wonke. Mhlawumbi njengokuba uThomas esitsho, “abakafuni ukuphekwa besophulwa ngemibuzo enjengalo, ‘Khanitsho ke, nitshata nini?’”

Ingcinezelo evela kwabanye inokuba yingozi. (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 2:7) Ngoko ke, xa ulwalamano lusaqala, abanye basenokukhetha ukungathethi ngalo. (IMizekeliso 10:19) UAnna oneminyaka engama-20, uthi: “Oku kuya kunika aba bantu babini ithuba lokuba bacinge nzulu ngenjongo yokuthandana kwabo. Xa sele beqinisekile, basenokuziva bekhululekile ukwazisa nabanye abantu.”

Kwangaxeshanye, kuphosakele ukufihla ulwalamano lwenu kubantu abamele balwazi, njengabazali bakho okanye abazali bomntu othandana naye. Eneneni, ukuba akufuni abantu bazi ngokuthandana kwakho, kufuneka uzibuze ukuba, yintoni le ingaka uyifihlayo? Ngaba uyazi entliziyweni yakho ukuba abazali bakho baza kuba nezizathu ezivakalayo zokukwalela?

“Ndandikwazi Endimele Ndikwenze”

UJessica esithethe ngaye ekuqaleni, watshintsha ingqondo ngokuthandana noJeremy, emva kokuba eve into eyenzeka komnye umKristu owayekwimeko efanayo. Uthi: “Emva kokuba ndive indlela awaluphelisa ngayo olo lwalamano, ndandikwazi endimele ndikwenze.” Ngaba kwakulula ukwahlukana? Akunjalo! UJessica uthi: “Kuphela komfana endakha ndamthanda lo. Zaqengqeleka iiveki ndikhala.”

UJessica wayesazi ukuba uyamthanda uYehova. Nakuba wakha waphambuka, wayefuna ukwenza okulungileyo. Emva kwexesha, loo ntlungu yokwahlukana yathomalala. UJessica uthi: “Ngoku ulwalamano lwam noYehova lubhetele kunakuqala. Ndinombulelo gqitha ngokusinika kwakhe ukhokelo olusifaneleyo ngexesha elifanelekileyo!”

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Sinqwenela ukuziphatha ngokunyaniseka kwizinto zonke.”—Hebhere 13:18.

ICEBISO

Akuyomfuneko ukuxelela wonk’ umntu ukuba uyathandana. Kodwa baxelele abo banelungelo lokwazi, ingakumbi abazali bakho nabazali bomntu othandana naye.

NGABA UBASAZI . . . ?

Ukuthembana sisiseko solwalamano oluphumelelayo. Ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo kwenza abazali bakho bangakuthembi yaye kusisiseko esihexayo solwalamano lwakho nomntu othandana naye.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Ukuba ndithandana nomKristu ngokufihlakeleyo, ndiza ․․․․․

Ukuba umhlobo wam uthandana ngokufihlakeleyo, ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Khawucingisise ngezi meko zintathu zibhalwe ngqindilili ezikwiphepha 22. Yiyiphi kwezi ebonisa indlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngamanye amaxesha?

● Yintoni onokuyenza ngaphandle kokuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo?

● Ukuba uyazi ukuba umhlobo wakho uthandana ngokufihlakeleyo, unokuhlangabezana njani nale meko, yaye kutheni ukhetha ukwenza ngaloo ndlela?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 27]

“Ndayeka ukuthandana ngokufihlakeleyo. Kodwa kwakunzima ukusoloko ndidibana nenkwenkwe endandiyithanda esikolweni. Kodwa uYehova uThixo wazi yonke into, ngokungafaniyo nathi. Kufuneka nje thina simthembe.”—UJessica

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]

Ukuquma umhlobo othandana ngokufihlakeleyo kufana nokuquma umhlobo wakho otya iilekese ngokufihlakeleyo kodwa enesifo seswekile

Isahluko 5

Kutheni Ufanele Uhlale Unyulu?

“Ndiziva ndinyanzelekile ukuba ndibe neentlobano zesini.”—UKelly.

“Ndivakalelwa ngathi kukho into engemanga kakuhle ngam kuba ndisenyulu.”—UJordon.

“NGABA usenyulu?” Ukuva nje umbuzo onjalo kunokukwenza urhwaqele! Kwamanye amazwe umntu oselula osenyulu ugqalwa njengowahlukileyo. Yiloo nto ebangela abantwana abaninzi abafikisayo babe neentlobano zesini!

Ukutsalwa Ngumnqweno Nempembelelo Yoontanga

Ukuba ungumKristu, uyazi ukuba iBhayibhile ithi umele ‘ukhwebuke kuhenyuzo.’ (1 Tesalonika 4:3) Nakuba kunjalo, usenokukufumanisa kunzima ukulawula umnqweno wakho wesini. Omnye umfana ogama linguPaul uthi: “Ngamanye amaxesha, iingcinga zesini zithi qatha engqondweni ngaphandle kwesizathu.” Kuqhelekile ukuba neemvakalelo ezinjalo.

Noko ke, akumnandanga ukugculelwa ngenxa yokuba unyulu! Ngokomzekelo, kuthekani ukuba oontanga bakho bathi akuyondoda okanye ibhinqa lokwenene xa ungekabi nazo iintlobano zesini? UEllen uthi: “Oontanga bakho basenokwenza kubonakale ngathi ukuba neentlobano zesini kumnandi yaye yinto eqhelekileyo. Ukuba akunazintlobano zesini, ujongwa njengomntu ongafaniyo nabanye.”

Kodwa ikho into oontanga bakho abasenokungayikhankanyi ngokuphathelele isini. Ngokomzekelo, uMaria owaba neentlobano zesini nomfana awayethandana naye, uthi: “Emva koko ndaba neentloni. Ndandizithiyile, ndithiye naloo mfana.” Kuqhelekile ukuba neemvakalelo ezinjalo nakuba ulutsha oluninzi lungakuqondi oko. Enyanisweni, ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato kubangela umvandedwa!

Noko ke, uShanda oselula uthi, “Kutheni uThixo edale abantu abaselula ukuba babe nomnqweno wesini, esazi ukuba kufuneka bahlale benyulu de batshate?” Ngumbuzo omhle lowo. Kodwa khawucinge ngezi nkalo zilandelayo:

Ngaba umnqweno wesini kuphela komnqweno onawo? Akunjalo. UYehova uThixo ukudale waneemvakalelo neminqweno eyahlukahlukeneyo.

Ngaba ufanele wanelise nawuphi na umnqweno onawo? Akunjalo, kaloku uThixo ukwenze ukuba ukwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho.

Sifunda ntoni koku? Ukuba neminqweno ethile kusenokungaphepheki, kodwa unako ukulawula oko ukwenzayo ngaloo mnqweno. Eneneni, ukwanelisa umnqweno wesini ngalo lonke ixesha kuphosakele yaye bubudenge, kufana nje nomntu obetha abanye qho xa enomsindo.

Enyanisweni, yayingeyonjongo kaThixo ukuba siwasebenzise kakubi amalungu ethu okuzala. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ngamnye wenu [ufanele] akwazi ukusizuza esakhe isitya ngobungcwalisa nembeko.” (1 Tesalonika 4:4) Kanye njengokuba kukho “ixesha lokuthanda nexesha lokuthiya,” likho ixesha lokwanelisa umnqweno wesini nexesha omele uzibambe ngalo. (INtshumayeli 3:1-8) Ngapha koko, nguwe omele ulawule umnqweno onawo!

Kodwa yintoni omele uyenze xa umntu ekugculela, esithi, “Ngaba nyhani usenyulu?” Musa ukukhathazeka. Ukuba umntu uyakugculela, usenokuthi: “Ewe, ndisenyulu, yaye ndinebhongo ngaloo nto!” Okanye usenokuthi, “Andithandi ukuthetha nabanye abantu ngalo mbandela.”a (IMizekeliso 26:4; Kolose 4:6) Kwelinye icala, usenokuvakalelwa kukuba ufanele umphendule loo mntu ukubuzayo. Ukuba kunjalo, usenokumchazela izizathu ezisekelwe eBhayibhileni.

Ngaba zikho ezinye iindlela onokuphendula ngazo xa umntu ekubuza umbuzo othi “Ngaba nyhani usenyulu?” Ukuba kunjalo zibhale apha ngezantsi.

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Isipho Esixabisekileyo

Uvakalelwa njani uThixo xa abantu begqiba ekubeni babe neentlobano zesini bengatshatanga? Masithi uthengele umhlobo wakho isipho. Kodwa uyasivula ungekamniki ngokwakho! Ngaba ubungayi kucaphuka? Ngoko khawucinge indlela anokuvakalelwa ngayo uThixo xa unokuba neentlobano zesini ungatshatanga. Ufuna ukuba ulinde de utshate ukuze unandiphe isipho seentlobano zesini.—Genesis 1:28.

Yintoni ofanele uyenze xa unomnqweno wesini? Funda ukuwulawula. Unako ukuwulawula! Thandaza kuYehova ukuba akuncede. Umoya wakhe unokukunceda ukwazi ukuzeyisa. (Galati 5:22, 23) Khumbula ukuba uYehova “akayi kubandeza nantoni na elungileyo kwabo bahamba ngokungenamposiso.” (INdumiso 84:11) UGordon oselula uthi: “Xa ndifikelwa yingcinga yokuba ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato akuphosakalanga kangako, kuye kuthi qatha indlela okuyingozi ngayo oko ngokomoya yaye ndiyaqonda ukuba akukho sono sifanele sonakalise ulwalamano lwam noYehova.”

Eneneni, akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuhlala unyulu. Eyona nto ithob’ isidima, ezintloni neyingozi, kukuziphatha kakubi ngokwesini. Ngoko ke, musa ukuvumela ihlabathi likuhlohle umoya walo wokucinga ukuba kukho into ephosakeleyo ngokubambelela kwimilinganiselo yeBhayibhile. Ngokuhlala unyulu, ukhusela impilo yakho, iimvakalelo zakho yaye—ngaphezu kwako konke, ukhusela ulwalamano lwakho noThixo.

FUNDA OKUNGAKUMBI NGALO MBANDELA KUMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 24

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

‘Ukuba nabani na wenze isigqibo entliziyweni yakhe, sokugcina ubunyulu bakhe, uya kuba wenza kakuhle.’—1 Korinte 7:37.

ICEBISO

Kuphephe ukunxulumana nabantu abanemilinganiselo ephantsi yokuziphatha, nokuba bathi iinkolelo zabo zonqulo ziyafana nezakho.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Abantu abaziphethe kakubi ngokwesini abadli ngokutshintsha naxa sele betshatile. Kodwa, abo babambelela kwimilinganiselo kaThixo xa bengekatshati badla ngokuthembeka nakumaqabane abo omtshato.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Ukuze ndihlale ndinyulu de nditshate, ndifanele ․․․․․

Ukuba abahlobo bam abasixhasi isigqibo endisenzileyo, ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Ucinga ukuba kutheni abanye bebagculela abo banyulu?

● Kutheni kunokuba nzima ukuhlala unyulu?

● Ziziphi iingenelo zokuhlala unyulu de utshate?

● Unokuzichaza njani iingenelo zokuhlala unyulu kumntwana wakowenu ongaphantsi kuwe?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 51]

“Into endikhuthazayo ukuba ndihlale ndinyulu kukwazi ukuba ‘akukho mhenyuzi namntu ungahlambulukanga unelifa ebukumkanini bukaThixo.’” (Efese 5:5)—ULydia

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 49]

Isalathiso Samaphepha

Yintoni Eye Yenzeke Ngokwenene?

Oontanga namajelo ezolonwabo awayichazi imiphumo emibi yokuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato. Khawucinge ngezi meko zintathu zilandelayo. Ucinga ukuba yintoni eza kwenzeka ngokwenene kolu lutsha?

● Umfana ofunda naye esikolweni uqhayisa ngokulala namantombazana amaninzi. Uthi kumnandi—akukho mntu usala esentlungwini. Ucinga ukuba yintoni ngokwenene eyenzekayo kamva—kuye nakula mantombazana athetha ngawo? ․․․․․

● Imovie iphela kanye xa inkwenkwe nentombazana besiba neentlobano zesini ukubonisa indlela abathandana ngayo. Yintoni ebiza kwenzeka kamva ukuba le ibingeyomovie? ․․․․․

● Udibana nenzwana ize ikucele ukuba nibe neentlobano zesini. Ithi akuyomfuneko ukuba kubekho mntu okwaziyo oko. Ukuba uyavuma, yaye ungaxeleli mntu, yintoni ngokwenene eza kwenzeka kamva? ․․․․․

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 54]

Ukuba neentlobano zesini ungatshatanga kufana nokuvula isipho ongekasinikwa

Isahluko 15

Ndinokuyixhathisa Njani Ingcinezelo Yoontanga?

“Esikolweni uhlangabezana nezilingo ezininzi—ukutshaya, iziyobisi nesini. Uyazi ukuba izinto abanye abantwana abafuna uzenze zibubuyatha. Kodwa akufuni kubonakala njengegwala.”—UEve.

NGOKWEMVELO sifuna ukwamkelwa ngabanye abantu. Ngenxa yoko kulula ukuphenjelelwa ngoontanga. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba ukhuliswe njengomKristu, uyazi ukuba izinto ezinjengeentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato nokusebenzisa kakubi utywala ziphosakele. (Galati 5:19-21) Kodwa oontanga bakho abaninzi bayakucenga ukuba wenze ezi zinto kunye nabo. Ngaba baye bacingisisa kuqala baza bazenzela isigqibo sokubandakanyeka kwizenzo ezinjalo? Akunjalo. Badla ngokwenza ezi zinto kuba bephenjelelwa ngabanye. Bafuna ukwamkeleka, ngoko bahamba nomndilili. Ngaba nawe unjalo? Okanye ngaba ngenkalipho unamathela kwisigqibo osenzileyo?

UAron, umntakwaboMoses, wakha woyiswa yingcinezelo yoontanga ngesinye isihlandlo. Xa amaSirayeli amngqingayo emcenga ukuba awenzele uthixo, wawenzela! (Eksodus 32:1-4) Khawufan’ ucinge nje—le yindoda eyajamelana noFaro, yadlulisela kuye ngenkalipho isigidimi sikaThixo. (Eksodus 7:1, 2, 16) Kodwa kwayena lo Aron, wanikezela kwingcinezelo yamaSirayeli awayekhonza kunye nawo. Kuyabonakala ukuba, wakufumanisa kulula ukumelana nokumkani waseYiputa kunokumelana noontanga bakhe!

Kuthekani ngawe? Ngaba ukufumanisa kunzima ukumela into oyaziyo ukuba ifanelekile? Ngaba ungakwazi ukumelana ngenkalipho nengcinezelo yoontanga? Ewe ungakwazi! Okubalulekileyo kukuba ukwazi ukubona xa oontanga bakho beza kukuphembelela uze wenze isigqibo ngendlela oza kusabela ngayo. La manyathelo mane angezantsi aya kukunceda ekwenzeni oku.

1. Yibone ingozi iseza. (IMizekeliso 22:3) Ngokufuthi, unokuyibona kwangaphambili ingozi. Ngokomzekelo, masithi ubona abo ufunda nabo bemile qelele phayaa betshaya. Ngaba abayi kukunika nawe icuba? Ukuba ingozi uyibona iseza, uya kubaphepha okanye uye kubo uxhobile.

2. Cinga. (Hebhere 5:14) Usenokuzibuza, ‘Ukuba ndilandela isininzi, ndiya kuvakalelwa njani ekuhambeni kwexesha?’ Liyinyaniso elokuba, usenokubakholisa oontanga bakho okwethutyana. Kodwa uya kuvakalelwa njani kamva, xa ukunye nabazali bakho okanye amaKristu okhonza nawo? Ngaba uxolele ukuncama ulwalamano lwakho noThixo kuba nje ufuna ukukholisa abo ufunda nabo?

3. Yenza isigqibo. (Duteronomi 30:19) Abakhonzi bakaThixo bafanele bakhethe ukuthembeka baze bafumane iintsikelelo okanye kungenjalo baya kuvuna imiphumo ebuhlungu. Amadoda anjengoYosefu, uYobhi noYesu enza ukhetho oluhle, kodwa yena uKayin, uEsawu noYudas bakhetha ikhondo eliphosakeleyo. Ngoku lithuba lokuba nawe wenze isigqibo. Uza kwenza isigqibo esinjani?

4. Yenza okuthile. Usenokucinga ukuba le yeyona nxalenye inzima. Kanti ke ayinzimanga tu! Ukuba sele ucingisisile ngemiphumo waza wenza isigqibo, usenokumangaliswa yindlela ekulula ngayo ukuxelela abanye yaye oko kunokuba nemiphumo emihle. (IMizekeliso 15:23) Ungakhathazeki—akukho mfuneko yokuba wenze intshumayelo ende yeBhayibhile. Ukuthi hayi nje kuphela kwanele. Okanye, ukuze kucace kakuhle ukuba akuzukuyenza loo nto, usenokukhetha ukuthi:

“Ningandiquki!”

“Andiyenzi loo nto!”

“Umele ukuba uyayiqonda into yokuba andizenzi ezo zinto!”

Umele usabele ngokukhawuleza nangenkalipho. Ukuba wenjenjalo, oontanga bakho banokukhawuleza bakuyeke! Kodwa, kuthekani ukuba bayakugculela? Kuthekani ukuba bathi, “Kutheni—unentaka?” Xa bekugculela ngolo hlobo—khumbula ukuba yingcinezelo yoontanga leyo. Unokusabela njani? Zintathu iindlela onokusabela ngazo.

● Usenokuvuma. (“Unyanisile, ndiyoyika!” Emva koko chaza ngokufutshane isizathu sokuba woyike.)

● Unokuyijika ingcinezelo ngokuchaza uluvo lwakho, ngaphandle kokudala ingxwabangxwaba.

● Unokuphindisa. Bachazele oontanga bakho isizathu sokwala kwakho uze ubashukumisele ekubeni basebenzis’ ingqondo. (“Ayifani nawe into yokutshaya!”)

Ukuba oontanga bakho bayaqhubeka bekugculela, mka kuloo ndawo! Ukuba akuhambi, iza kuya iqina ngakumbi ingcinezelo. Nokuba kunokufuneka ude uhambe, khumbula: Ukwazile ukuyisingatha loo meko. Akubavumelanga oontanga bakho ukuba bakunyanzelele kwihambo yabo!

Abanye oontanga bakho basenokukugculela bathi akusebenzis’ ingqondo yakho, ucingelwa ngabany’ abantu. Kodwa akunjalo! Enyanisweni, uYehova ufuna uyingqine ngokwakho into yokuba ukwenza ukuthanda kwakhe kokona kulungileyo. (Roma 12:2) Ngoko kutheni uvumela oontanga bakho bakwenze unodoli wabo? (Roma 6:16) Yimele into oyaziyo ukuba ifanelekile!

Enyanisweni, akunakuyiphepha ingcinezelo yoontanga. Kodwa unokwenza isigqibo, ubachazele ngaso, yaye unamathele kuso. Ekugqibeleni, nguwe omele enze ukhetho!—Yoshuwa 24:15.

FUNDA OKUNGAKUMBI NGALO MBANDELA KUMQULU 1, ISAHLUKO 9

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Ohamba nezilumko uya kuba sisilumko naye, kodwa osebenzisana neziyatha uya kuhlelwa bububi.”—IMizekeliso 13:20.

ICEBISO

Ukuze ube nenkalipho engakumbi, funda amava abakhonzi bakaYehova banamhlanje abaye bakumela ngokuphumelelayo oko kulungileyo.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Bambalwa abantwana ofunda nabo oya kudibana nabo kwisithuba sonyaka emva kokuba ugqibile esikolweni. Abaninzi basenokungalikhumbuli negama eli lakho. Kodwa intsapho yakowenu, noYehova uThixo baya kusoloko benomdla kwimpilo-ntle yakho.—INdumiso 37:23-25.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Ukuze ndimelane nengcinezelo yoontanga ndiza ․․․․․

Ukuba oontanga bam bazama ukundeyisela kwihambo ephosakeleyo, ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Amanyathelo amane achazwe kwesi sahluko anokukunceda kweziphi iimeko?

● Yintoni enokwenzeka ukuba uyanikezela kwingcinezelo yoontanga?

● Ziziphi iindlela onokuyixhathisa ngazo ingcinezelo yoontanga?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 131]

“Amakhwenkwe amaninzi ayazi ukuba ndiliNgqina, yaye ayandihlonela. Xa eza kuthetha ngezinto ezingcolileyo, aye athi, ‘Mike, siza kuthetha ngoku, ukuba ufuna ukuhamba, ungakhululeka.’”—UMike

[Isicangca esikwiphepha 132, 133]

Isalathiso Samaphepha

Ukuxhobela Ingcinezelo Yoontanga Umzekelo

1 Yilindeleinto yokuba usenokugculelwa

Basenokundivavanyangantoni? Ngokutshaya.

Basenokukwenza phi oku? Kwindlu yangasese.

↓ ↓

↓ ↓

Ndisenokunikezela kuba ← 3 Yenza isigqibo → Ndiza xhathisa kuba

↓ ↓

← 4 Yenza okuthile → Ndiza

kwala ndize ndimke.

Ukugculelwa ngoontanga

Ndisenokusabela ngenye yezi ndlela zilandelayo xa ndigculelwa

Ndinokuvuma Ndinokuyijika Ndinokuphindisa

PHAWULA: Hamba ngokukhawuleza ukuba oontanga bakho bayaqhubeka bekunyanzela. Ukuba akuhambi, basenokukoyisa. Bhala ezakho iimpendulo kwiphepha elilandelayo.

Ukuxhobela Ingcinezelo Yoontanga Zenzele ikopi yeli phepha!

1 Yilindele into yokuba usenokugculelwa

Basenokundivavanya ngantoni? ․․․․․

Basenokukwenza phi oku? ․․․․․

↓ ↓

․․․․․ ․․․․․

↓ ↓

․․․․․ ․․․․․

↓ ↓

← 4 Yenza okuthile → Ndiza . . .

․․․․․ ․․․․․

Ukugculelwa Ngoontanga

Ukuba omnye umntwana uthi: ․․․․․

Ndisenokusabela ngenye yezi ndlela zilandelayo xa ndigculelwa

Ndinokuvuma Ndinokuyijika Ndinokuphindisa

․․․․․ ․․․․․ ․․․․․

Lungiselela phambi komzali okanye komhlobo oqolileyo indlela oza kusabela ngayo.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 135]

Ukuba uyanikezela kwingcinezelo yoontanga, uba ngunodoli wabo