Intsha Iyabuza . . .
Kungani Kumelwe Ngibe Isibonelo Kubafowethu Nodadewethu Abancane?
UDARRYL uyizibulo ekhaya. Phakathi nesikhathi esinzima kakhulu, wavumela amamaki akhe ukuba ehle. Abazali bakhe basabela ngokushesha. UDarryl uyakhumbula: “Bangikhuthaza ukuba ngithuthuke emsebenzini wami wesikole hhayi ngenxa yami kuphela kodwa nangenxa yodadewethu abancane, ngibabonise ukuthi amamaki amahle abalulekile.”
Uma uyizibulo emkhayeni wakini, ngokungangabazeki uyazi ukuthi kunjani ukutshelwa akuthi, ‘Bekela abafowenu nodadewenu abancane isibonelo esihle!’ Nokho, ngokuvamile lokhu kubangela ukucasuka. Encwadini yabo ethi Raising Siblings, uCarole noAndrew Calladine bathi: “Amazibulo futhi akhononda ngamathemba amakhulu abazali bawo ahambisana nokuba amazibulo. Ezwa ukucindezela kwabazali kokuba avelele futhi aphumelele. Iziyalo ezivamile eziya emazibulweni ziwukuthi, ‘Umdala kakhulu ukuba wenze lokho,’ “Kufanele ngabe wazi kangcono.’”
Nokho, kungani abazali belindela okukhulu kangaka ezibulweni? Ingabe mhlawumbe balindele okukhulu ngokweqile?
Isizathu Sokuba Ube Isibonelo
Kusukela ezikhathini zasendulo, amazibulo—ikakhulukazi amadodana—kuye kwalindelwa okukhulu kuwo abazali. Njengokuqala kwamandla awoyise okuzala, amadodana angamazibulo ezikhathini zeBhayibheli ngokuvamile ayethandwa ngokukhethekile. (Genesise 49:3; Duteronomi 21:17) Ingani noJehova ngokwakhe wabiza isizwe samaIsrayeli ngokuthi ‘yizibulo’ lakhe ukuze abonise uthando lwakhe olujulile ngaso. (Eksodusi 4:22) Nokho, kwakulindeleke okukhulu endodaneni eyizibulo njengoba ekugcineni kuyiyona eyayilandela uyise njengenhloko yomkhaya.
Khona-ke, akufanele kukumangaze ukuthi abazali basathambekele ekulindeleni okukhulu emazibulweni abo—futhi ngesizathu esihle. Phakathi kokunye, uma uyizibulo, ngokunokwenzeka uthola ukuqeqeshwa okwengeziwe emisebenzini yasekhaya, ezimfanelweni zokuziphatha nasezimisweni zeBhayibheli kunezingane zakini (abafowenu nodadewenu). Ingabe akufanele kulindeleke ukuba udlulisele kubo lokho okufundile?
Ngalesosizathu omunye umfana oneminyaka eyi-14 ubudala watshelwa abazali bakhe ukuba asize odadewabo abancane ukuba bafunde imisebenzi yasekhaya. Uyakhumbula: “Abazali bami bangichazela ukuthi ngangiqeqeshwe ngokwengeziwe futhi nginokuhlangenwe nakho okwengeziwe kunodadewethu ngoba yimina engiyizibulo.”
Ukusiza kwakho ekuqeqesheni abafowenu nodadewenu abancane kungase kudingeke ngokukhethekile ngenxa yokucindezela okungokwezomnotho abazali abaningi namuhla ababhekene nakho. Ngokuvamile, omama kanye nobaba kumelwe basebenze emisebenzini yokuziphilisa, okubashiyela isikhathi esincane besekhaya. Futhi uma uhlala ekhaya elinomzali oyedwa, kungenzeka ukuthi umzali wakho ukhandleka ngaphansi kokucindezeleka kokuzama ukugcwalisa izindima zabazali ababili. Ukubekela kwakho abancane kuwe isibonelo ekhaya kungenza okukhulu ukuze kunciphise umthwalo. Ngokungaphezulu, umzali wakho uyazi ukuthi ukubekela abafowenu nodadewenu abancane isibonelo esihle kuyakusiza ukuba uthuthukele ekubeni umuntu omdala onomthwalo wemfanelo.
Ukuba Nomthwalo Wemfanelo Kubo
Yiqiniso, ungase uzizwe ungakhululekile ngokuba isibonelo. Njengoba enye intombazane esencane yakubeka: “Kunzima kakhulu ukuba izibulo ngoba ngithola amalungelo nemithwalo yemfanelo eyengeziwe.” Kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi, izingane zakini zithonywa ukuziphatha kwakho. Ngokuvamile ziyolingisa ukukhuluma kwakho, ukugqoka, nokuziphatha kwakho. Njengoba osemusha othile asho ngomfowabo omdala: “Ngithanda ukuba enze izinto kuqala. Khona-ke ngiyakwazi ukubona indlela okumelwe zenziwe ngayo.” Ngakho, lokho okwenzayo nokushoyo kubaluleke kakhulu! Njengoba ababhali bencwadi ethi Raising Siblings bekuveza: “Ukuba nomthwalo wemfanelo isaga sabazali emazibulweni.”
UMiriyamu, udadewabo kaMose omdala, wayeyisibonelo esihle sokuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo wengane yakubo. Uzokhumbula ukuthi abazali bakaMose bamelana nomyalo wenkosi wokubulala wonke amadodana ayesanda kuzalwa, ngokufihla umntwana uMose kubhasikidi webunga, noma ibhokisi. UMiriyamu waqapha lelobhokisi njengoba lalintanta eMfuleni iNayili, futhi wabona lapho litholwa ngokuphepha indodakazi kaFaro. Ngesibindi, uMiriyamu wakhuluma nayo futhi wahlela ukuba unina wayo ingane ayinakekele. Ngenxa yezenzo zakhe zesibindi azenzela umfowabo olusana, uMose akazange asinde kuphela kodwa wakhula waba umkhululi wamaIsrayeli!—Eksodusi 2:1-10.
Ingabe uzizwa unomthwalo wemfanelo ofanayo ngabafowenu nodadewenu? Kunokuba ubacasukele, ingabe uyazama ukuba umhlobo nomngane wabo oseduze? (IzAga 17:17) Ngokwesibonelo, ungenza okukhulu ngokubanikeza usizo neseluleko ekuxazululeni izinkinga. Mhlawumbe omunye umntwana wakini akazwani nothile esikoleni. Omunye angase akhathazeke ngokuthile okuzokwenzeka—ukuthuthela endaweni entsha, usuku lokuqala esikoleni, uhambo oluya kudokotela—futhi angase adinge isikhuthazo nokusekelwa. Ngokuvamile, uye wahlangabezana nesimo esinjalo kakade futhi ungakwazi ukuhlanganyela ulwazi lwakho nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho naye. Njengoba enye intombazane eyeve eshumini nambili yasho lokhu ngodadewabo omdala: “Unjengomqondisi kimi. Uyakuqonda lokho engingena kukho, ngoba naye usedlule kukho kakade.”
Nokho, kunengozi yokweqisa.
Yazi Imingcele Yakho!
“Ucabanga ukuthi nguyena onegunya,” kwasho omunye oneminyaka eyi-15 ubudala ngomfowabo omdala. “Uma siphikisana naye, uzongimukula. Asizwani nhlobo.” Intombazane eyeve eshumini ibika inkinga efanayo ekusebenzelaneni nodadewabo abancane. “Ngiye ngahlala nabo phansi ngababonisa imibhalo embalwa,” iyalandisa. “Kodwa bayathukuthela! Ngezinye izikhathi izimpikiswano zethu ziba zimbi kangangokuthi sigcina sesibambene ngezihluthu.”
Ngeshwa, intsha ngezinye izikhathi iphambanisa ukuba isibonelo nokuba yingqongqo. Nakuba ungaba umngane nomeluleki wabafowenu nodadewenu abancane, awusoze nanini ube umzali wabo! Noma kanjani, bayocasukela noma yimuphi umzamo wakho wokusebenzelana nabo njengomzali ngokubayala noma ngokubeluleka. Kungumsebenzi wabazali bakho ‘ukubondla ngokuyala nangokuqondisa kweNkosi’—akuwona owakho! (Efesu 6:4) Ngakho nakuba izwi leseluleko lingaba lihle, uma ubhekana nokuphikiswa, mhlawumbe uyoba ngohlakaniphile ukuba ugudluke uvumele abazali bakho basingathe indaba.
Ukwazi imingcele yakho kulendaba kungase kukuvimbele futhi ukuba uxabane nabazali bakho. Umfowenu noma udadewenu omncane angase acele kuwe iseluleko endabeni engaphezu kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho ukuba uyisingathe. Noma angase akutshele ngesenzo esithile esingalungile abazali bakho abanelungelo lokwazi ngaso. Kunokuba uzame ukuyisingatha ngokwakho indaba, khumbula amazwi ezAga 11:2: “Lapho kufika ukuziqhenya, kufika nehlazo; kepha kwabathobekileyo kukhona ukuhlakanipha.” Ngokuthobeka qikelela ukuba abazali bakho bayaqasheliswa ngesimo; yiqiniso, kungabakuhle ukukhuthaza ingane yakini ukuba ikhulume nabo ngokwayo.
Omunye osemusha uveza enye indawo okumelwe ukhumbule kuyo imingcele yakho, uthi: “Ngiyakuthanda ukuba yizibulo, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi kunzima ukwenza zonke izinto ngokuqondile.” Kunokuba uzizwe ugidlabezwe umthwalo, qaphela ukuthi “sonke siyakhubeka ngokuningi.” (Jakobe 3:2) UJesu Kristu kuphela oyisibonelo esiphelele! (1 Petru 2:21) Ngakho ungazicabangeli ngokweqile.
Izinzuzo
Ukulwela ukubekela abafowenu nodadewenu abancane isibonelo esihle kunezinkinga zakho, kodwa futhi kunemivuzo yakho. Phakathi kokunye, ngokuzibonakalisa ukwazi ukuthwala umthwalo wemfanelo, uyovuthwa ngokushesha kakhulu futhi ngokungangabazeki uyozizuzela amalungelo engeziwe. (Luka 16:10) Uyothuthukisa amakhono ayobonakala eyinzuzo kamuva, uma ungase ube nabantwana abangabakho. Futhi, okungafanele kubukelwe phansi ithonya isibonelo sakho esingase sibe nalo kubafowenu nodadewenu abancane, sibashukumisela ukuba babe abantu abadala abakwaziyo ukuthwala umthwalo wemfanelo, abesaba uNkulunkulu.
Ngokubonisa isithakazelo esifudumele nesothando ezinganeni zakini, ungase uzuze uthando lwazo oluhlala njalo nenhlonipho. Yiqiniso, bayokucasula ngezinye izikhathi. Kodwa njengoba enye intombazane eyeve eshumini ivuma: “Kunento eyodwa engibonga ngempela ngayo, ukuba nodadewethu ababili abakhuluma nami ngezinkinga zabo siqu nabangiqabulayo uma ngikudinga.” Lesibopho sothando, uma sike sakhiwa, singahlala sikhona kukho konke ukuphila. Kuwufanele umzamo ukubeka isibonelo esihle.
[Isithombe ekhasini 16]
Siza abafowenu nodadewenu abancane ukuba bafunde ukwenza izinto
[Isithombe ekhasini 17]
Izibulo liyocasukelwa uma lizenza ingqongqo