Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ukuba Nabantwana—Ingabe Kukwenza Indoda?

“Ngazi [abafana] abaningi abathi, ‘Nginendodakazi ehlala lapha nendodana ehlala laphaya,’ futhi ngendlela abakusho ngayo, kubonakala sengathi abanandaba.”—UHarold.

MINYAKA yonke kukhulelwa cishe amantombazane asakhula ayisigidi e-United States. Iningi lezingane ezitholwa yilabo mama lizalwa ngaphandle komshado. Kulabo mama abasakhula, oyedwa kwabane uyogcina esethole umntwana wesibili ingakapheli iminyaka emibili. Umagazini i-Atlantic Monthly uthi: “Uma le mikhuba iqhubeka, kuzo zonke izingane ezizalwayo namuhla zingaphansi kwesigamu eziyohlala nonina kanye noyise esikhathini sobuntwana. Izingane eziningi zaseMelika ziyochitha iminyaka embalwa ekhaya elinomama kuphela.”

Nakuba elase-United States linezinga eliphakeme lokukhulelwa kwentsha kunamanye amazwe asethuthukile, inkinga yezingane ezizalwa ngaphandle komshado ikhungethe imbulunga yonke. Kwamanye amazwe aseYurophu, njengaseNgilandi naseFrance, amazinga anjalo okuzala ayalingana nawase-United States. Kwamanye amazwe ase-Afrika naseNingizimu Melika, izinga lokuzala kwamantombazane asakhula licishe liliphinde kabili elase-United States. Yini ebangela lo mqedazwe?

Okubangela Lo Mqedazwe

Ngokwezinga elikhulu, lesi simo siwumphumela wokuwohloka kokuziphatha ‘ezikhathini ezibucayi’ esiphila kuzo. (2 Thimothewu 3:1-5) Emashumini eminyaka amuva izinga lesehlukaniso liye landa kakhulu. Ubungqingili nezinye izindlela zokuphila sekwamukelwa kabanzi. Izingane ziye zaba izisulu zenkulumo-ze yemithombo yezindaba ehlukahlukene—umculo nama-video omculo asikisela ukuziphatha okuxekethile, izihloko zomagazini nezikhangiso ezishaqisayo, izinhlelo ze-TV namafilimu adumisa ubulili obungenakuzithiba. Ukutholakala kalula kwezindawo zokukhipha isisu namaphilisi okuvimba inzalo kuye kwanezela embonweni owandile phakathi kwentsha wokuthi ubulili abunankinga. Omunye ubaba ongashadile uthi: “Ngifuna ukujabulela ubulili ngaphandle kwezibopho.” Omunye uthi: “Ubulili buyajabulisa futhi buwumdlalo.”

Izimo zengqondo ezinjalo kungenzeka ukuthi zisakazekele kakhulu entsheni empofu. Umcwaningi u-Elijah Anderson waxoxa kabanzi nentsha ehlala emadolobheni futhi wathi: “Kubafana abaningi, ubulili buwuphawu olubalulekile lokuqashelwa umphakathi wendawo; ukuhlanganyela ubulili namantombazane amaningi kubhekwa njengobusoka.” Ngokuqinisekile, omunye ubaba ongashadile watshela i-Phaphama! ukuthi ukuba isoka kubhekwa kabanzi “njengezindebe ongahlobisa ngazo.” Yini ebangela isimo sengqondo esinjalo sokungazweli? U-Anderson uchaza ukuthi ezimweni eziningi abantu ababaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kosemusha ohlala edolobheni “ontanga yakhe. Bambekela izindinganiso zokuziphatha, futhi kubalulekile ukuba aphile ngokuvumelana nalezo zindinganiso.”

Ngakho u-Anderson uphawula ukuthi ezinsizweni eziningi, ukuhlanganyela ubulili namantombazane amaningi kumane kuwumdlalo nje, “injongo iwukwenza omunye umuntu isilima, ikakhulukazi owesifazane osemusha.” Unezela ukuthi “lo mdlalo uhlanganisa ukuba umfana aveze lokho ayikho, okuhlanganisa ukugqoka, ukuzilungisa, ukubukeka, ikhono lokudansa nelokuxoxa.” Abafana abaningi abasakhula bangochwepheshe bokunqoba kulo “mdlalo.” Kodwa u-Anderson uthi: “Lapho intombazane isikhulelwe, umfana uyabaleka.”—Young Unwed Fathers—Changing Roles and Emerging Policies, eyahlelwa uRobert Lerman noTheodora Ooms.

Umbono KaNkulunkulu

Kodwa ingabe ukuthola ingane kukwenza indoda ngempela? Ingabe ubulili bumane buwumdlalo nje? NgokukaJehova uNkulunkulu, uMdali wethu, akunjalo. EZwini lakhe, iBhayibheli, uNkulunkulu ukwenza kucace ukuthi ubulili bunenjongo ephakeme. Ngemva kokulandisa ngokudalwa kwendoda nowesifazane bokuqala, iBhayibheli lithi: “UNkulunkulu wababusisa; uNkulunkulu wathi kubo: ‘Zalani, nande, nigcwalise umhlaba.’” (Genesise 1:27, 28) Kwakungeyona neze injongo kaNkulunkulu ukuba abantwana balahlwe ngoyise. Wahlanganisa indoda nowesifazane bokuqala esibophweni saphakade somshado. (Genesise 2:24) Ngakho kwakuyintando yakhe ukuba zonke izingane zibe nomama nobaba.

Nokho, kungakapholi maseko, amadoda aqala ukuzithathela isithembu. (Genesise 4:19) UGenesise 6:2 usitshela ukuthi ngisho nezinye izidalwa eziyizingelosi ‘zabona amadodakazi abantu ukuthi mahle.’ Ngemva kokuthatha imizimba yabantu, lezi zingelosi ‘zazithathela abafazi,’ ngobugovu zathatha ‘ezibathandayo.’ ISikhukhula sikaNowa saphoqelela la mademoni ukuba abuyele emizimbeni yomoya. Kodwa, iBhayibheli libonisa ukuthi manje zivalelwe endaweni yasemhlabeni. (IsAmbulo 12:9-12) Ngakho uSathane namademoni akhe banethonya elinamandla kakhulu kubantu namuhla. (Efesu 2:2) Izinsizwa zizichaya kuleli thonya elibi zingahlosile lapho zizala izingane ezingafunwa nezingathandwa.

Ngakho, ngesizathu esihle, imiBhalo ithi: “Yilokhu uNkulunkulu akuthandayo, ukungcweliswa kwenu, ukuba nidede ebufebeni; ukuze ngamunye wenu azi ukuthi angasilawula kanjani isitsha sakhe siqu ngokungcweliswa nangodumo, kungabi ngesifiso sobulili sokukhanuka esinjengaleso nalezozizwe ezingamazi uNkulunkulu ezinaso; ukuba kungabikho muntu ofinyelela eqophelweni lokulimaza futhi angenele emalungelweni omfowabo kulendaba, ngoba uJehova ungofuna ukuba kukhishwe isijeziso ngenxa yazo zonke lezizinto.”—1 Thesalonika 4:3-6.

“Nidede ebufebeni”? Izinsizwa eziningi zingase ziweye lo mbono. Phela, ziseyizinsizwa, futhi izinkanuko zinamandla! Kodwa phawula ukuthi ubufebe buhlanganisa ‘ukulimaza nokungenela emalungelweni’ abanye. Ingabe akuyilimazi intombazane ukushiywa nomntwana ngaphandle kokusekela komyeni? Futhi kuthiwani ngezingozi zokuyithelela ngezifo ezithathelwana ngobulili, njengesifo samabhamuza ezithweni zangasese, ugcunsula, isipatsholo noma ingculaza? Yiqiniso, ngezinye izikhathi ingagwenywa imiphumela enjalo. Noma kunjalo, ubulili ngaphambi komshado buwukungenela elungelweni lentombazane lokulondoloza idumela elihle nokungena emshadweni imsulwa. Ngakho, ukudeda ebufebeni kunengqondo futhi kubonisa ukuvuthwa. Yiqiniso, kudingeka ukuzithiba nokuphikelela ukuze ‘ulawule isitsha sakho siqu’ futhi udede ekuhlanganyeleni ubulili ngaphambi komshado. Kodwa njengoba u-Isaya 48:17, 18 esitshela, ngemithetho yakhe, uNkulunkulu ‘usifundisa okusisizayo.’

“Niqhubeke Njengamadoda”

Nokho, insizwa ingazibonakalisa kanjani ukuthi iyindoda ngempela? Ngokuqinisekile ngeke ikwenze ngokuzala izingane ezingamavezandlebe. IBhayibheli liyayala: “Hlalani niphapheme, nime niqinile okholweni, niqhubeke njengamadoda, nibe namandla. Zonke izindaba zenu mazenzeke ngothando.”—1 Korinte 16:13, 14.

Phawula ukuthi ‘ukuqhubeka njengamadoda’ kuhlanganisa nokuhlala uphapheme, uqinile okholweni, ukhuthazela futhi unothando. Yiqiniso, lezi zimiso zisebenza kwabesilisa nabesifazane ngendlela efanayo. Kodwa uma uthuthukisa izimfanelo ezingokomoya ezinjengalezi, abantu bayoba nesizathu esihle sokukuhlonipha nokukwazisa njengendoda yangempela! Funda kumuntu omkhulu kunabo bonke owake waphila—uJesu Kristu. Ake ucabange ngobudoda bakhe nesibindi asibonisa lapho ebhekene noshushiso ngisho nokufa. Kodwa uJesu wayeziphatha kanjani lapho enabobulili obuhlukile?

Ngokuqinisekile uJesu wayenethuba lokujabulela ubungane nabesifazane. Wayenabalandeli besifazane abaningi, abanye “ababebakhonza [yena nabaphostoli bakhe] ngalokho okungokwabo.” (Luka 8:3) Wayesondelene kakhulu nodadewabo bakaLazaru ababili. Empeleni iBhayibheli lithi “uJesu wayebathanda oMarta nodadewabo.” (Johane 11:5) Ingabe uJesu wasebenzisa ukuhlakanipha kwakhe, ugazi, noma ukubukeka okukhangayo, ngokungangabazeki ayenakho njengendoda ephelele, ukuyengela laba besifazane ezenzweni zokuziphatha okubi? Ngokuphambene, iBhayibheli lithi ngoJesu “akenzanga sono.” (1 Petru 2:22) Akazange aziphathe ngokungafanele ngisho nalapho owesifazane owayaziwa njengesoni, mhlawumbe eyisifebe, ‘ekhala futhi eqala ukumanzisa izinyawo zakhe ngezinyembezi zakhe ezisula ngezinwele zekhanda lakhe.’ (Luka 7:37, 38) UJesu akazange ngisho alokothe acabange ukuxhaphaza lona wesifazane obuthakathaka! Wabonisa ikhono lokubamba imizwa yakhe—okuwuphawu lobudoda. Wayengabaphathi abesifazane njengabantu bokuhlanganyela ubulili nabo, kodwa njengabantu abafanelwe uthando nenhlonipho.

Uma uyinsizwa engumKristu, ukulandela isibonelo sikaKristu—hhayi esontanga yakho abathile—kuyokuvimbela ukuba ‘ungalimazi futhi ungenele emalungelweni’ omunye. Futhi kuyokuvikela ekubhekaneni nenhlekelele edabukisayo yokuba ubaba wevezandlebe. Yiqiniso, abanye bangase bakugcone ngoba udeda ebufebeni. Kodwa ekugcineni, ukuthola ukuvunyelwa uNkulunkulu kuyokuzuzisa kakhulu kunokuthola ukwamukelwa ontanga yakho isikhashana.—IzAga 27:11.

Nokho, kuthiwani uma osemusha kade ephila ukuphila kokuziphatha okubi esikhathini esidlule kodwa kakade eseyishiyile inkambo yakhe yokuziphatha okubi futhi ephenduke ngempela? Uma kunjalo, njengeNkosi ephendukile uDavide, nayo eyahlanganyela ekuziphatheni okubi ngokobulili, angaqiniseka ukuthi uNkulunkulu uzomxolela. (2 Samuweli 11:2-5; 12:13; IHubo 51:1, 2) Kodwa uma intombazane ikhulelwe ngaphandle komshado, insizwa kungadingeka yenze izinqumo ezingathi sína. Ingabe kufanele ishade nentombazane? Ingabe inemithwalo yemfanelo ethile yokunakekela ingane yayo? Isihloko sesikhathi esizayo siyoxoxa ngale mibuzo.

[Izithombe ekhasini 15]

Intsha eningi ngephutha ikholelwa ukuthi ukuhlanganyela ubulili akunazinkinga