Ngaphuphunyelwa Yisisu

NGOMSOMBULUKO, ngo-April 10, 2000, kwakushisa futhi libalele, ngakho ngaphuma ngayokwenza izinto ezithile. Ngangiqala inyanga yesine ngikhulelwe, futhi nakuba ngangingenamandla atheni, ngangijabule ngokuba ngaphandle. Kwathi lapho ngisalindé emgqeni wokukhokha esitolo, ngezwa ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle kimi.

Ngaqiniseka ngalokho lapho ngifika ekhaya. Ngangopha—into eyayingakaze yenzeke lapho ngikhulelwe izingane zami ezimbili zokuqala—futhi ngethuka kakhulu! Ngashayela udokotela wami ucingo, kodwa wasikisela ukuba ngilinde ngize ngakusasa ngoba vele ngangizoya kuye. Ngaphambi kokuba mina nomyeni wami silalise izingane ngalobo busuku, sathandaza ndawonye, sacela uJehova ukuba asinike amandla esingase siwadinge nganoma iyiphi indlela. Ekugcineni, ngazumeka.

Kodwa kwathi ngehora lesibili entathakusa ngavuswa izinhlungu. Izinhlungu zaya ngokuya zibohla, kodwa kwathi lapho sengithi ngiyazumeka, zabuya futhi, manje sekusengathi ziyagwaza. Ngopha kakhulu, futhi ngezwa ukuthi nginemihelo. Ingqondo yami yacabanga kakhulu izama ukuthola ukuthi akukho yini engikwenzile okubangele lokhu, kodwa akukho okwafika engqondweni.

Ngehora lesihlanu ekuseni, ngangazi ukuthi kufanele ngiye esibhedlela. Lapho mina nomyeni wami sifika, sakhululeka lapho sizithola sisezandleni zezisebenzi zegumbi labembulwa bembeswa ezinomusa, eziwusizo nezinozwela. Kwathi emahoreni amabili kamuva, udokotela wasitshela izindaba esasinexhala ngazo: Ngangiphuphunyelwe yisisu.

Ngenxa yezimpawu engangibe nazo, ngangiwulungele lo mphumela futhi ngazola lapho ngizwa lezi zindaba. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umyeni wami wayenami ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi wangisekela kakhulu. Kodwa manje njengoba sasizoya ekhaya engasekho umntwana, sasizibuza ukuthi sizothini ezinganeni zethu ezimbili, uKaitlyn, owayeneminyaka eyisithupha ubudala, noDavid, owayenemine ubudala.

Sizothini Ezinganeni?

Izingane zazilale zazi ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle, kodwa sasizozitshela kanjani ukuthi obezoba umfowabo noma udadewabo omncane ushonile? Sanquma ukuzitshela yonke into futhi sithembeke. Umama wasisiza kulokhu ngokutshela izingane ukuthi ngeke sifike nomntwana ekhaya. Lapho sifika, zagijima zasihlangabeza futhi zasanga zasiqabula. Umbuzo wazo wokuqala wawuthi, “Uyaphila umntwana?” Angikwazanga ukuphendula, kodwa umyeni wami, esibambe wasihlanganisa ndawonye, wathi: “Umntwana ushonile.” Sabambana sakhala, okwasiza ekubeni siqale ukululama.

Kodwa sasingayilindele indlela izingane zethu ezasabela ngayo kamuva. Ngokwesibonelo, emasontweni amabili ngemva kokuphuphunyelwa yisisu, kwamenyezelwa ebandleni lendawo loFakazi BakaJehova ukuthi uFakazi osekhulile owayengumngane oseduze womkhaya wethu ushonile. UDavid, oneminyaka emine ubudala, wakhala ngokungalawuleki, ngakho umyeni wami wamthatha waphuma naye. Lapho esezolile, uDavid wabuza ukuthi kungani umngane wakhe eshonile. Wayesebuza ukuthi kungani umntwana ayeshonile. Okulandelayo wathi kuyise, “Ingabe nawe uzofa?” Wayefuna nokwazi ukuthi kungani uJehova uNkulunkulu engakambhubhisi uSathane futhi aqale “ukulungisa izinto.” Ngempela, samangala ukubona ukuthi ingqondo yakhe encane yayicabanga kangakanani.

UKaitlyn naye wabuza imibuzo eminingi. Lapho edlala ngonodoli bakhe, wayevame ukwenza sengathi omunye unodoli uyagula, abanye babe abahlengikazi noma amalungu omkhaya. Wamisa ibhokisi njengesibhedlela sikanodoli futhi ngezikhathi ezithile wayenza sengathi omunye wonodoli bakhe ushonile. Imibuzo nemidlalo yezingane zethu kwasinikeza amathuba amaningi okuzifundisa izifundo ezibalulekile ngokuphila nokuthi iBhayibheli lingasisiza kanjani ukuba sibhekane novivinyo. Sakhumbuza izingane nangenjongo kaNkulunkulu yokwenza umhlaba ube ipharadesi elihle, elingenakho ukuhlupheka nobuhlungu banoma yiluphi uhlobo—ngisho nokufa.—IsAmbulo 21:3, 4.

Indlela Engabhekana Ngayo Nokushonelwa

Lapho ngibuyela ekhaya ngivela esibhedlela, ngangindikindiki ngokomzwelo futhi ngididekile. Kwakunenqwaba yezinto ezidinga ukwenziwa, kodwa ngangingazi ukuthi ngiqale ngakuphi. Ngashayela abangane abaningana ucingo ababeke babhekana nesimo esifanayo, futhi bangiduduza kakhulu. Omunye umngane othandekayo wasithumelela izimbali futhi wacela ukuthatha izingane ahambe nazo ntambama. Ngakwazisa kakhulu ukukhathalela kwakhe okufudumele nosizo!

Ngahlela izithombe zomkhaya kuma-albhamu. Ngazibuka futhi ngazibamba izingubo zomntwana ezingazange zigqokwe—okwakuwukuphela kwezikhumbuzo eziphathekayo zomntwana owayeshonile. Kwaphela amasonto imizwelo yami ishintshashintsha. Ngezinye izinsuku ngangidinda isililo—phezu kwakho konke ukusekelwa ngumkhaya nabangane. Ngezinye izikhathi ngangicabanga ukuthi ngiyasangana. Kwakunzima nakakhulu ukuba phakathi kwabangane abakhulelwe. Ngaphambili, ngangicabanga ukuthi ukuphuphuma kwesisu kumane “kuyinto engasho lutho” nje ekuphileni kowesifazane, into esidlula kuyo ngaphandle kwezinkinga eziningi. Kanti ngangishaye phansi!a

Uthando—Ikhambi Elingcono Kakhulu

Ukuhamba kwesikhathi, kanye nothando olwaboniswa umyeni wami kanye namaKristu esikanye nawo kwaba ikhambi eliphumelelayo. Omunye uFakazi wapheka ukudla wasilethela kona. Umdala wasebandleni nomkakhe beza nezimbali nekhadi elihle, bahlala nathi kusihlwa. Sasazi ukuthi bamatasa kangakanani, ngakho ukukhathalela kwabo kwasithinta izinhliziyo. Abanye abangane abaningi babesithumelela amakhadi noma izimbali. Amazwi alula athi “Sicabanga ngani” ayesho lukhulu! Elinye ilungu lebandla labhala: “Sibheka ukuphila ngendlela uJehova akubheka ngayo—njengento eyigugu. Uma azi lapho undlunkulu uwela phansi, ngokuqinisekile uyazi lapho kufa umbungu womuntu.” Umzala wami wabhala: “Siyasimangaza kakhulu isimangaliso sokuzalwa nokuphila, futhi simangala ngokufanayo uma kungaphumeleli.”

Lapho siseHholo LoMbuso emasontweni ambalwa kamuva, ngezwa kuthi angikhale futhi kwadingeka ngiphume ngaphambi nje kokuba kuqale imihlangano. Abangane bami ababili abathandekayo abangibona ngiphuma ngikhala bahlala nami emotweni, bangibamba isandla, futhi bangihlekisa. Ngokushesha sobathathu saphindela ngaphakathi. Yeka injabulo okuyiyo ukuba nabangane ‘ababambelela kuneselamani’!—IzAga 18:24.

Njengoba izindaba zazisakazeka, ngamangala ukuthola ukuthi baningi kangakanani abanye oFakazi ababeke babhekana nesimo esifanayo. Ngisho nabanye engangingabajwayele kangako ngaphambili bangiduduza ngokukhethekile futhi bangikhuthaza. Ukungisekela kwabo kothando lapho ngibadinga kwangikhumbuza isaga seBhayibheli: “Umngane uthanda ngezikhathi zonke, nomzalwane uzalwa ekuhluphekeni.”—IzAga 17:17.

Induduzo Evela EZwini LikaNkulunkulu

ISikhumbuzo sokufa kukaKristu saba sesontweni elilandela ukuphuphunyelwa kwami yisisu. Ngobunye ubusuku lapho sifunda ukulandisa kweBhayibheli okumayelana nezinsuku zokugcina zikaJesu, kwafika kimi ukuthi: ‘UJehova uyabazi ubuhlungu bokushonelwa. Washonelwa indodana yakhe!’ Ngenxa yokuthi uJehova unguBaba wethu wasezulwini, ngezinye izikhathi ngiyakhohlwa ukuthi uyaqonda futhi unozwela kangakanani ngezinceku zakhe—zesilisa nezesifazane. Ngaleso sikhathi ngezwa umuzwa ojulile wokukhululeka. Ngazizwa ngiseduze noJehova kunanoma yinini ngaphambili.

Ngathola nesikhuthazo esikhulu ezincwadini ezisekelwe eBhayibhelini, ikakhulukazi komagazini abadala be-Nqabayokulinda ne-Phaphama! abakhuluma ngokushonelwa othandekayo. Ngokwesibonelo, izihloko ezithi “Ukubhekana Nokushonelwa Umntwana” kuyi-Phaphama! ka-August 8, 1987, zaziwusizo kakhulu, kanye nencwajana ethi Lapho Ufelwa Othandekayo.b

Ukuphela Kosizi

Njengoba isikhathi sasiqhubeka, ngangazi ukuthi ngiyalulama lapho sengikwazi ukuhleka ngaphandle kokuzizwa nginecala nalapho ngixoxa ngaphandle kokuba ngikhulume ngomntanami owashona. Noma kunjalo, imizwelo yami yayithikamezeka ngezikhathi ezithile, njengalapho ngibona abangane ababengakezwa ukuthi ngaphuphunyelwa yisisu noma lapho umkhaya onengane encane uvakashelé eHholo LoMbuso lethu.

Kwathi ngolunye usuku ekuseni ngavuka ngizwa ukuthi sengingcono. Ngisho nangaphambi kokuba ngivule amehlo, nganginomuzwa wokululama—ukuthula nokuzola okwase kunezinyanga ngakugcina. Noma kunjalo, lapho ngikhulelwa esikhathini esingangonyaka ngemva kokuphuphuma kwesisu, nganginemicabango yokuthi kungabuye kwenzeke futhi siphuphume. Ngokujabulisayo, ngabeletha umfana onempilo ngo-October 2001.

Namanje ngisamlilela umntanani owashona. Kodwa konke lokhu kuye kwakhulisa ukwazisa kwami ukuphila, umkhaya, amaKristu engikanye nawo noNkulunkulu—osiduduzayo. Lesi senzakalo siye sagcizelela neqiniso elithinta inhliziyo lokuthi uNkulunkulu akazithathi izingane zethu kodwa ‘sonke sihlangabezana nesikhathi nethuba.’—UmShumayeli 9:11.

Angive ngibheke phambili esikhathini lapho uNkulunkulu eyoqeda konke ukudabuka, ukukhala nobuhlungu, kuhlanganise nobuhlungu obungokomzimba nobungokomzwelo bokuphuphunyelwa yisisu! (Isaya 65:17-23) Ngaleso sikhathi bonke abantu abalalelayo bayokwazi ukuthi: “KuFa, kuphi ukunqoba kwakho? KuFa, luphi udosi lwakho?”—1 Korinte 15:55; Isaya 25:8.—Inikelwe.

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Ukuvama Kokuphuphuma Kwesisu Nezimbangela Zako

“Ukuhlola kubonisa ukuthi amaphesenti angu-15 kuya kwangu-20 abo bonke okutholakala ukuthi bakhulelwe aphuphunyelwa yisisu,” kusho i-World Book Encyclopedia. “Kodwa makhulu kakhulu amathuba okuphuphuma kwesisu phakathi namasonto amabili okuqala ngemva kokukhulelwa (ukuhlala kwesisu), isikhathi lapho abesifazane abaningi besuke bengazi nokwazi ukuthi bakhulelwe.” Enye incwadi ithi “amaphesenti angaphezu kwangu-80 okuphuphuma kwesisu enzeka emasontweni angu-12 okuqala umuntu ekhulelwe,” okungenani ayisigamu kucatshangwa ukuthi abangelwa izici ezimbi kuma-chromosome ombungu. Lezo zici ezimbi azibangelwa izici ezimbi ezifanayo ezikuma-chromosome kamama noma kababa.

Ezinye izimbangela zokuphuphuma kwesisu zingase zibangelwe impilo kamama. Izikhulu zezempilo zikhomba ukuphazamiseka kwama-hormone nesimiso somzimba sokuzivikela ezifweni, ukugula okubangelwa amagciwane nokuphazamiseka okuthile esibelethweni sikamama. Izifo ezingamahlalakhona njengesifo sikashukela (uma singalawulwa kahle) nomfutho wegazi ophakeme kungase kube yizimbangela.

Izazi zithi ukuphuphuma kwesisu akubangelwa ngempela ukuvivinya umzimba, ukuphakamisa izinto ezisindayo noma ukuba nobuhlobo bobulili. Mancane amathuba okuthi ukuwa, ukushayeka kancane noma ukwethuka kungabangela ukuphuphuma kwesisu. Enye incwadi ithi: “Mancane amathuba okuthi umbungu ungalinyazwa ukulimala kwakho ngaphandle kwalapho kukukhulu ngokwanele ukuba kusongele impilo yakho siqu.” Yeka ukuthi ukuklanywa kwesibeletho kukufakazela kahle kanjani ukuba khona koMdali ohlakaniphile nonothando!—IHubo 139:13, 14.

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Indlela Umkhaya Nabangane Abangasiza Ngayo

Ngezinye izikhathi kunzima ukwazi ukuthi uzothini noma uzokwenzenjani lapho ilungu lomkhaya noma umngane ephuphunyelwa yisisu. Abantu basabela ngezindlela ezingafani lapho beshonelwe ngale ndlela, ngakho ayikho indlela eyodwa yokududuza nokusiza. Kodwa cabangela lokhu kusikisela okulandelayo.c

Izinto ongazenza ukuze usize:

◆ Cela ukubagadela izingane ezindala.

◆ Pheka ukudla ukulethele lowo mkhaya.

◆ Sekela nobaba wekhaya. Omunye ubaba wathi, “abawenzi amakhadi obaba abakulesi simo.”

Izinto eziwusizo ongase uzisho:

◆ “Ngiyadabuka kakhulu ukuzwa ukuthi uphuphunyelwe yisisu.”

La mazwi alula asho lukhulu, futhi angase avule ithuba lokusho amanye amazwi aduduzayo.

◆ “Ungakhala uma ufuna.”

Ngokuvamile izinyembezi zihlale zisemehlweni emasontweni okuqala noma ngisho nezinyanga ngemva kokuphuphuma kwesisu. Qinisekisa oshonelwe ukuthi awumbukeli phansi uma eveza imizwa yakhe.

◆ “Ngingaphinde ngikushayele ucingo ngesonto elizayo ngizwe ukuthi unjani?”

Ekuqaleni, abashonelwe bangase baboniswe uzwela olukhulu, kodwa njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka futhi kusebuhlungu, bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi abanye sebebakhohliwe. Kuyajabulisa kubo ukwazi ukuthi usaqhubeka ubasekela. Imizwelo ingase ibe khona amasonto noma izinyanga. Ingase ibuye ngisho nangemva kokukhulelwa okuphumelelayo.

◆ “Angazi ngempela ukuthi ngizothini.”

Ukusho lokho ngokuvamile kungcono kunokungasho lutho. Kokubili ukwethembeka kwakho neqiniso lokuthi ukhona kubonisa ukuthi uyakhathalela.

Okungamelwe ukusho:

◆ “Uzomthola omunye umntwana.”

Nakuba lokhu kungase kube iqiniso, kungase kuqondwe njengokubonisa ukungabi naluzwela. Laba bazali bebengafuni noma yimuphi umntwana, bebefuna lowaya mntwana. Ngaphambi kokuba bacabange ngokuba nomunye umntwana, ngokunokwenzeka bayofuna ukulilela umntwana oshonile.

◆ “Cishe kukhona obekungalungile ngaye.”

Nakuba lokhu kungase kube njalo, akududuzi. Engqondweni kamama, ubekhulelwe umntwana onempilo.

◆ “Kungcono ngoba ubungakamazi lo mntwana. Bekuyoba kubi nakakhulu ukuba ushone kamuva.”

Abesifazane abaningi basheshe baqale ukusondelana nabantwana babo abangakazalwa. Ngakho lapho umntwana eshona, kuvame ukulandela usizi. Usizi lwandiswa ukuthi akekho omunye “owayazi” lo mntwana njengonina.

◆ “Kungcono ngoba unazo ezinye izingane.”

Kubazali abadabukile, lokhu kungase kufane nokutshela umuntu oyingini ukuthi: “Kungcono ngoba sikhona esinye isitho.”

Yiqiniso, kumelwe kuvunywe ukuthi ngisho nabantu abakhathalelayo futhi abaqotho kakhulu ngezinye izikhathi basho izinto ezingafanele. (Jakobe 3:2) Ngakho, abesifazane abanokuqonda abaye baphuphunyelwa yisisu bayofuna ukubonisa uthando lobuKristu ngokungababambeli amagqubu labo abasho amazwi alimazayo kodwa bebe beqonde ukududuza.—Kolose 3:13.

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