Ukugqashula Emkhubeni Wokuqinela Abanye

‘Ukuqinela abanye kuwumkhuba ofundwayo, futhi noma yini oyifundile ungayiyeka.’—UDkt. C. Sally Murphy.

UMUNTU oqinela abanye nomuntu oqinelwayo baludinga bobabili usizo. Umuntu oqinela abanye kudingeka afunde ukusebenzelana nabanye ngaphandle kokusebenzisa kabi amandla. Oqinelwayo udinga izindlela ezisebenzayo zokubhekana nale nkinga.

Ngokuvamile, umuntu oqinela abanye akakwazi ukusebenzelana nabanye futhi akayiqondi imizwa yalabo abesabisayo. Kudingeka ukuba kube nothile ozolokhu emqaphile futhi kudingeka afundiswe indlela yokukhuluma kahle. Incwadi ethi Take Action Against Bullying ithi: “Ngaphandle kokuba bafunde imikhuba emisha futhi bayamukele, abantu abaqinela abanye bayaqhubeka bekwenza ukuphila kwabo konke. Baqinela abangane babo bomshado, izingane zabo, mhlawumbe nabantu abangaphansi kwabo emsebenzini.”

Usizo Lokuyeka Ukuqinela Abanye

Ukusheshe uqale ukuqeqesha izingane zisezincane ukuba zibe nozwela kungasiza ekuzivimbeleni ukuba zingabaqineli abanye. Kwamanye amazwe abezemfundo basebenzisa uhlobo olusha lwemfundo okuthiwa ukuqeqeshelwa ukuba nozwela. Umgomo wale mfundo ukufundisa abafundi beseneminyaka emihlanu ubudala ukuba baqonde imizwa yabanye futhi baphathe abantu ngomusa. Nakuba isemincane kakhulu imininingwane ngemiphumela yesikhathi eside yalokhu, imiphumela esatholakele ibonisa ukuthi labo abaye bathola lokhu kuqeqeshwa abanabo kangako ubudlova uma beqhathaniswa nalabo abangazange baqeqeshwe.

Njengomzali, akufanele uzitshele ukuthi lokho kuqeqeshwa kuzokwenziwa uhlelo oluthile lwasesikoleni. Uma ungathandi ukuba ingane yakho iqinele abanye, kudingeka uyifundise ngezwi nangesibonelo indlela yokuphatha abanye ngenhlonipho nangesizotha. Yini engakusiza? Cishe kule ndaba, unawo umthombo wokuqeqesha omuhle kakhulu eduze kodwa nokho obukelwa phansi—iZwi likaNkulunkulu, iBhayibheli. Lingasiza kanjani?

Okokuqala, lifundisa ngokucacile indlela uNkulunkulu azizwa ngayo ngokuqinela abanye. Uyakwenyanya! IBhayibheli lithi ngoNkulunkulu: “Ngokuqinisekile umphefumulo wakhe uyamzonda umuntu othanda ubudlova.” (IHubo 11:5) Ngaphezu kwalokho, uNkulunkulu uyakubona okuqhubekayo. IBhayibheli lisitshela ngemizwa yakhe yokuzisola, noma ukudabuka, ngokuqondene no-Israyeli lapho ehlupheka “ngenxa yabacindezeli bakhe nalabo ababemkhakhabisa bemyisa ngapha nangapha.” (AbaHluleli 2:18) Ezikhathini eziningi uNkulunkulu wayebajezisa labo ababesebenzisa amandla abo kabi futhi beqinela ababuthaka ababengakwazi ukuzivikela.—Eksodusi 22:22-24.

IBhayibheli liqukethe nalokho okungenzeka ukuthi kuyisiqondiso esidume kakhulu kwezake zanikezwa mayelana nendlela yokubonisa uzwela. UJesu wathi: “Ngakho-ke, zonke izinto enifuna abantu bazenze kini, nani kumelwe nizenze ngokufanayo kubo.” (Mathewu 7:12) Ukufundisa izingane ukuba zamukele lowo Mthetho Wegolide—ziwuthande futhi ziphile ngawo—akulula; kudinga ube isibonelo esihle, uphikelele futhi uzikhandle, ikakhulukazi njengoba izingane ezincane ngokwemvelo zizicabangela zona kuphela. Kodwa wonke lowo mzamo awulona ize. Uma izingane zakho zifunda ukuba nomusa nozwela, ziyokwenyanya ngisho nokucabanga ngokuqinela abanye.

Ukusiza Abaqinelwayo

Abantu abaqinelwayo, ikakhulukazi abancane, babhekana nenselele enzima—yokuzibamba lapho becindezelwa. Lapho umuntu ekuqinela, cishe ufuna ukuba uphazamiseke ngokomzwelo. Usuke ethemba ukuthi uzothukuthela kakhulu noma wesabe kakhulu. Uma uthukuthela ugan’ unwabu noma ubihlika ukhala kanjalo ubonisa ukuthi uzwa ubuhlungu noma ukuthi uyesaba, isuke yendele esokeni kumuntu okuqinelayo. Ngakho angase azame kaningi ukukucasula noma ukukwesabisa nangokuzayo.

Ungenzani? Cabangela ukusikisela okulandelayo. Ngokuyinhloko kulotshwe kucatshangwa ngezingane, kodwa izimiso ezikukho zingase zisebenze nakwabadala abaqinelwayo.

◼ Zola. Ungazivumeli ukuba uthukuthele. IBhayibheli liyeluleka ngokuhlakanipha: “Hlukana nentukuthelo uyeke ukufutheka.” (IHubo 37:8) Lapho uhluleka ukuzibamba, unika umuntu okuqinelayo amandla, futhi ungase wenze izinto ozozisola ngazo kamuva.—IzAga 25:28.

◼ Zama ukukhipha imicabango yokuziphindiselela engqondweni yakho. Isikhuni sivame ukubuya nomkhwezeli lapho uziphindiselela. Kanti futhi, ukuziphindiselela akwanelisi ngempela. Enye intombazane, eyashaywa amantombazane amahlanu eyihlanganyela lapho ineminyaka engu-16 ubudala, iyakhumbula: “Nganquma enhliziyweni yami ukuthi, ‘Ngizobathola.’ Ngakho abangane bami bangilekelela ngaziphindiselela kwababili kubo.” Waba yini umphumela? Ithi: “Ngazizwa ngingelutho.” Ukuziphatha kwayo kamuva kwawohloka. Khumbula amazwi ahlakaniphile eBhayibheli: “Ningabuyiseli muntu okubi ngokubi.”—Roma 12:17.

◼ Lapho isimo siqala ukushuba, suka ngokushesha. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ngaphambi kokuba kuqhume ingxabano, hamba.” (IzAga 17:14) Ngelilodwa, zama ukudeda kubantu abathanda ukuqinela abanye. IzAga 22:3 zithi: “Unokuqonda lowo oboné inhlekelele wabe esecasha, kodwa abangenalwazi baye badlula ngakuyo futhi kumelwe bakhokhe.”

◼ Uma okuqinelayo ephikelela, kungase kudingeke ukuba ukhulume naye. Khetha isikhathi lapho ungacasukile, umbheke ezinhlamvwini, ukhulume ngezwi eliqinile, elipholile. Mtshele ukuthi awuyithandi le nto ayenzayo—ukuthi akuyona into ehlekisayo nokuthi ikuphatha kabi. Ungasebenzisi inhlamba noma amazwi anochuku.—IzAga 15:1.

◼ Khuluma ngalokhu kuqinelwa nomuntu omdala onokwethenjelwa, futhi okhathalelayo. Ungagwegwesi, futhi ucele usizo lokusingatha le nkinga. Yenza okufanayo nalapho uthandaza kuNkulunkulu, futhi lokhu kungaba umthombo omangalisayo wosizo nenduduzo.—1 Thesalonika 5:17.

◼ Khumbula ukuthi ubalulekile njengomuntu. Umuntu okuqinelayo angase afune ukukwenza ukuba ucabange ukuthi awulutho, ukuthi uyalunga njengoba ekuphatha kabi. Kodwa akayena umahluleli wakho. NguNkulunkulu ongumahluleli wakho, futhi yena ubheka okuhle kulowo nalowo kithi. Ngumuntu okuqinelayo ojike abe yinto engelutho lapho esebenzisa lo mkhuba.

Bazali—Vikelani Izingane Zenu

Abazali nabo bangaqala ukulungiselela izingane zabo zisezincane ukuba zibhekane ngobuhlakani nabantu abaqinela abanye. Ngokwesibonelo, bangaprakthiza nazo ekhaya ngemidlalo yokulingisa izimo ezithile ukuze babonise indlela ezinganikeza ngayo umuzwa wokuzethemba.

Ngisho nokuma komzimba—ukuma uqonde—kungadlulisela buthule umyalezo obaqhelisela kude abanye abantu abaqinela abanye. Ukubabheka ezinhlamvwini, ugcine izingalo nezandla zakho zikhululekile, futhi ukhulume ngezwi elingadledlezeli nakho kungasiza. Abazali bakhuthazwa ukuba bafundise izingane zabo ukuba zisuke noma zibagweme abantu abaziqinelayo, nokuba zicele usizo kumuntu omdala onokwethenjelwa, njengothisha.

Ukuqeda umkhuba wokuqinela abanye kuqala ngokufundisa umkhaya. Abazali abazinika isikhathi sokuba nezingane zabo, ngesineke nangozwela balalele izinto ezizikhathazayo, bagxilisa kuzo umuzwa wokuthi ziyadingeka, zisekelekile futhi ziyathandwa. Ochwepheshe abaningi emkhakheni wokweluleka ngendima yobuzali nangezinkinga zontanga bakhuthaza abazali ukuba basize izingane zabo zibe nombono omuhle ngazo ngokwazo. Umbono onjalo olinganiselayo unciphisa amathuba okuba zikhange amehlo abantu abaziqinelayo.

Kodwa kuhileleke okungaphezu kokumane nje ukhulume. Ilungu ngalinye lomkhaya kudingeka lifunde ukuphatha abanye ngenhlonipho nangesizotha futhi lihlakulele uzwela. Ngakho-ke, ungawubekezeleli umkhuba wokuqinela abanye emzini wakho. Yenza umuzi wakho ube indawo elondekile, ebuswa umoya wokuhloniphana nokuthandana.

Ukuphela Kokuqinela Abanye

‘Umuntu uye wabusa umuntu kwaba ukulimala kwakhe.’ (UmShumayeli 8:9) Yile ndlela iBhayibheli eliwufingqa ngayo umlando womuntu. Ngempela, sekuyizinkulungwane zeminyaka ukuqinela abanye kukhathaza isintu. Umlobi othile weBhayibheli wathi: “Ngabuya ukuze ngibone zonke izenzo zokucindezela ezenziwa phansi kwelanga, bheka! izinyembezi zabacindezelwayo, kodwa babengenamduduzi; futhi ohlangothini lwabacindezeli babo kwakukhona amandla, kangangokuthi babengenamduduzi.”—UmShumayeli 4:1.

Nokho, uNkulunkulu ngokuqinisekile uyakubona konke ukuqinela abanye okuqhubekayo emhlabeni, futhi uzwelana nalabo abacindezelwayo. Kodwa-ke, ingabe uyoke enze okuthile ngakho? Yebo! Phawula isithembiso sakhe esitholakala kuMika 4:4: “Bayohlala, kube yilowo nalowo phansi komvini wakhe naphansi komkhiwane wakhe, ngeke kube khona obenza bathuthumele; ngoba wona kanye umlomo kaJehova wamabutho ukhulumile.”

Ake ucabange ukuthi izwe liyoba njani lapho leso sithembiso sigcwaliseka. Kungasekho muntu owenza abanye bathuthumele ngokwesaba—kungasekho bantu abaqinela abanye! Akujabulisi yini lokho? Kodwa uNkulunkulu akazange agcine nje ngokuthembisa ikusasa elinjalo. Kwamanje embulungeni yonke kuqhutshwa imfundo ephumelela kakhulu yeBhayibheli. Inemiphumela emihle. Labo abahlanganyela kuyo bafundiswa ukushintsha ubuntu babo obunolaka, ukuba babe nokuthula nabanye nokuba baphathe abanye ngenhlonipho nangesizotha. (Efesu 4:22-24) Akusensuku zatshwala imiphumela yale mfundo ephakeme kunayo yonke igcwale umhlaba wonke, futhi inkinga yokuqinela abanye ngeke isaba khona. Izithembiso zikaNkulunkulu ezilotshwe eBhayibhelini zizogcwaliseka. Wonke umuntu oyobe ephila ngaleso sikhathi uyojabulela izwe elingenabo abantu abaqinela abanye!

[Isithombe ekhasini 16]

Asikho isizathu sokuba namahloni lapho udeda kumuntu okuqinelayo

[Isithombe ekhasini 17]

Ekhaya elinomoya omuhle, izingane zifundiswa ukubhekana nazo zonke izinhlobo zokuqinelwa

[Izithombe ekhasini 18]

Fundisa izingane zakho ukuba zikhulume ngendlela eqinile kodwa engacunuli